


Gasoline & Matches

by rainmonitors



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Friendship, High School AU, Romance, plus more side characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-17 22:58:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 123,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11278527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainmonitors/pseuds/rainmonitors
Summary: Peridot only wanted to enjoy the company of her online friend. Watching Pearl fluster over her crush, Amethyst teasing her about it, and Garnet observing smugly was fun - yet overwhelming. But when a new girl arrives at her high school, she begins to understand that one person can change someone's life so much.





	1. Your Average Nerd

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys!! i just finished Gasoline & Matches yesterday on fanfiction.net, and so it's time to upload here!  
> there won't be anymore notes until the finale since i'm uploading all at once (aside from chapter warnings)  
> but i want to thank everyone who supports this on here!! every view, kudos, bookmark, comment, EVERYTHING means so much to me!!!  
> so here is Gasoline & Matches completed, and i hope you have a blast reading it! <333
> 
> warning: this fanfiction contains mild language and sexual themes in later chapters

Your Average Nerd

"Peridot, are you even listening to me anymore?"

"Um, yeah! Sorry, I'm kinda captivated." Pearl's condescending voice coaxed Peridot out of her sort of trance with her computer, but she refused to rip her line of sight away from her computer screen. She heard Pearl sigh on the other end of the call.

"If you weren't going to listen to what I have to say, then why did you bother to call me?"

"I thought I could multitask."

Peridot heard Pearl sigh again, this time drawing a longer breath, and Peridot followed suit. "Okay, fine, you have my full attention!"

"Why don't I believe you?" Pearl responded with fake annoyance, and Peridot curled her lips into a soft smile. "Aren't you worried about school tomorrow? How can you be so relaxed when our final, and easily most stressful year starts in the morning?"

"Maybe because I don't have to worry about impressing my crush the second I step onto school grounds. Though, your method of impressing seems to be staring at—"

"Peridot!" Pearl's shrill whine interrupted Peridot's teasing, and oh how she wished she could see the bright blush that would be flaring on her cheeks.

Peridot erupted into giggles. "It's true though!"

"I swear to god I'll hang up if I have to deal with a second more of your unfair teasing."

"Oh no, what will I ever do without Pearl blabbing on about school?" Peridot erupted into a fit of laughter again, but quickly fixed herself. "Sorry, I'll stop. Continue telling me all about your educational worries again. Though it's very boring compared to hearing you stuttering about your huge crush."

" _Gosh_ , you are insufferable," Pearl retorted. "What about _your_ crush? Oh wait, you're too self-absorbed to have feelings for someone other than yourself!"

Peridot grinned, despite being clearly burned. Bickering with Pearl never failed to entertain her; she could do it for hours and never get bored for a second. She turned her gaze back to her computer screen, squirming into her chair more comfortably and swapping her phone into her left hand, resting her right hand on the arrow keys. "I can't help the fact that I'm so attractive."

Pearl chuckled softly. "Oh, please. Anyways, as much as I'd love to get teased by you more, I need an early night."

"Aw, okay. I'll keep an eye out for you and your crush tomorrow!"

"Shut up!" Pearl growled and instantly hung up. Peridot's cheeks were hurting at this point from madly grinning. She reached out for the charge cord to her left, hastily plugging her phone in and shutting it off for the night. 10:09PM. Maybe Pearl was right (not like she ever wasn't) - an early night could do wonders. But since when did Peridot ever listen to Pearl?

Tuning her full attention back to her computer again, she navigated through the pixelated purple maze of the Ruins, on probably her 5th play through of Undertale. She could almost hear Amethyst's voice - "Ugh, you're playing that game _again?_ What about playing other games for a change? Plus, that game's old now. _Jeez_." Well, yeah, she did have a _tonne_ of other games to play, but settling on RPG's and story-driven games was her habit. Plus, she loved games she could make voices up for, especially ones with narcissistic, albeit innocent, skeletons.

Peridot attempted to keep playing, quietly voice-acting the characters as not to wake her parents, until a Skype notification popped up. ' _winter nerd_ ' hovered in a white box at the top right of her screen. Undertale could definitely wait for another day.

Quickly saving and shutting down the game, Peridot clicked on the little blue application icon (with only one notification), bringing up her Skype.

_winter nerd [10:17PM]: u nervous for school tomorrow?_

Of course, it had to be a school-related question. Not like she got enough from Pearl.

_space nerd [10:17PM]: I literally just had this conversation with someone else_

_winter nerd [10:17PM]: oh sorry_

_winter nerd [10:18PM]: are u tho?_

Peridot felt like every time this question would be asked, her answer would change. She ran a hand through her thick blonde hair, pushing the stray wild hairs out of her vision. Wasn't everyone nervous, but for different reasons?

_space nerd [10:18PM]: yeah I guess I am. not knowing where to go and stuff_

_winter nerd [10:18PM]: yea ik the feeling_

Peridot mentally slapped herself. Of course her friend - Winter, she nicknamed her - knew the feeling. A conversation from a week ago flooded into her memory as she hastily typed back a reply.

_space nerd [10:19PM]: shit I forgot you're starting at a new school_

_space nerd [10:19PM]: that must be nerve-wracking as heck_

_winter nerd [10:20PM]: haha yea im trying to stay positive tho_

_winter nerd [10:20PM]: dont want to fuck up first impressions yanno_

_space nerd [10:20PM]: you never struck me as someone who cared about first impressions_

_space nerd [10:20PM]: when I first met you, you were swearing in the chat at some 10 year old so_

_winter nerd [10:20PM]: isnt that how friendships are normally made? B)_

_space nerd [10:21PM]: nope_

_space nerd [10:21PM]: but you and I don't strike me as normal_

_winter nerd [10:22PM]: right well. dont wanna sleep in on my first day so i think i need sleep_

_winter nerd [10:22PM]: talk to u after school?_

_space nerd [10:22PM]: definitely, you'll have to tell me all about your day!_

_winter nerd [10:22PM]: haha yea night nerd_

_space nerd [10:23PM]: goodnight nerd no.2_

The coloured circle at the bottom right of _winter nerd_ 's icon - a drawing of a deer in snow (how appropriate) - became white. Peridot sighed happily, propping her elbow on her desk and resting her chin into the palm of her rather small hand. She couldn't help but like online friends more than offline friends. Whilst she did love Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet for being really good friends, they could be quite tiring. Well, offline friends in general, were tiring. She had to constantly watch her tongue and filter her words so she didn't accidentally slip out something mean - though, she usually did anyway (but she was getting better - that was something, _right?_ )

Typing to online friends gave Peridot time to think of what to say, lowering the risk of something _malicious_ being said. As much as she pretended not to care about what came tumbling out of her ranting mouth, she didn't want to hurt anyone. Or, in the worst cases, lose someone.

Plus, Winter, as she'd habitually called her closest online friend, was always around to chat. They would stay up late on weekends together, rambling about the newest game, playing co-op and multiplayer, and just generally chatting until the early hours of the morning after.

Sure, Amethyst sometimes came around and binge-played games with Peridot, but she ended up being a sore loser around the girl with the mane of hair. Not that it wasn't fun, having a challenge, and sometimes the odd dare about who could win the game and whatnot. And Amethyst did laugh at all her stupid jokes and bittersweet sarcasm, so that was a plus.

Garnet, on the other hand, was a girl of mystery to Peridot. They didn't talk much, and only really knew each other through Pearl, who in turn knew Amethyst and Garnet. It wasn't that she was intimidating (though sometimes that was the case), or that Peridot didn't like her, it was just that she was almost _always_ quiet. It seemed the tall, dark-skinned woman with the eye-drawing afro never really had much to say, except for words of wisdom which seemed uncharacteristic of a teenager. That, or words of slight mockery, hidden under a deadpan but positive tone.

Peridot shook the thoughts of her friends (and the concealed nervousness for tomorrow) out of her head, quite literally. If everyone else was going to sleep, maybe she should too, with nothing else to do but play more games.

Switching off her computer monitor, the small blonde girl tumbled into her bed, crumpling into a ball and flicking her glasses off onto her bedside table (which was also a stereo). The feeling deep in her gut - Peridot couldn't pinpoint _what_ feeling it was - faded away as she drifted off into slumber.

* * *

Peridot's peaceful dreams were suddenly catapulted out the window and into the sunrise as some hellbent figure came crashing through her door, jolting her awake.

"You're going to be late for school!" her mother snapped, and slammed the door as she made possibly the loudest entrance and exit a parent ever has. Peridot, heart racing and mind throbbing, rubbed the drowsiness in a hurry to wake up fully before stumbling out of bed and probably tripping over the scattered belongings of hers on the floor. This _always_ happened. She hated alarms, and would always rely on her body and the sun to wake her up before her mother barged into her room, but it would never work for the few days of school instantly after holidays.

Placing her glasses that were twice the size of her eyes on the bridge of her nose carefully, Peridot staggered over to her computer desk briskly, ripping out her phone from the charger and quickly glancing at the time - 8:07AM. Mumbling something negative about school, Peridot rushed into her clothes drawers, dragging out a suitable outfit. Green in colour, of course.

Throwing off her pyjamas - a black singlet and white shorts with alien heads patterned on them - she almost literally jumped into her clothes for the day in a rush to get ready.

Launching out of her bedroom and bolting into the bathroom down the hallway, she quickly did her business and brushed her teeth (who ate breakfast anyway?), staring at herself proudly, despite the bags under her eyes that never seemed to disappear.

"Bra - check," Peridot muttered. "Oversized white shirt with a really cool alien on it - check. Those worn out blue-black jeans you always wear - check. Green check hoodie that totally doesn't stand out - check. Black Vans because you're plain as heck - check."

Satisfied with her clothing (although it wasn't exactly fancy or 100% matching), Peridot glared at her hair, which no matter how much she brushed it, it was always messy. Her friends always claimed that her messy hair was cute, but well… she would never admit that she liked being called cute. She left her hair nonetheless.

Dashing back into her room, Peridot swiped her phone into her pocket, checked the contents of her bag (which was a shit-tonne of books and her tablet), and darted back out the room again.

Chucking last night's leftovers (fried rice ordered from the Chinese restaurant in town) and a couple of snacks into her lunch box, which then in turn was stuffed into her already-full bag, Peridot charged out the front door, hurriedly calling out goodbye to her mum.

She had 10 minutes to get to her bus stop.

* * *

The school was more chaotic than ever; hundreds of students were cramped in the yards and hallways, the newbies had no idea where to go and fretted anxiously over it, teachers stalked the school grounds - the list could go on.

Upon arrival, Peridot breathed deeply, trying to flush out the nervousness in the pit of her stomach, and sauntered with fake confidence to where the school's seniors would camp, hoping to find at least one of her friends. Amongst the flurry of students hurrying about, catching up with their friends and talking skittishly about the new school year, Peridot glimpsed the familiar peach-pink hair of Pearl.

"Hey, Pearl!" Peridot almost _rammed_ through the students in her way, and jumped to her side.

Pearl, whom was anxiously threading her fingers together and standing by herself, blinked in surprise when the smaller-than-average nerd bounded over to her. She tried for a relaxed smile, but Peridot instantly saw the stress in it.

"You know, most of our classes are the same as last year," Peridot attempted to calm the other's nerves.

Pearl only hummed timidly in response.

"Or is it your crush that you're so anxious about?"

Her eye's fluttered wide open, a deep blush quickly seeping into her cheeks, and playfully slapped Peridot on the shoulder. "Shush! That's not the problem."

Peridot laughed her characteristic 'nyeh heh heh'. "It's good to have you back, Pearl."

"You too."

The bell suddenly sounded throughout the entire school, drawing students into the largest yard for the beginning of the school year speech. As if she was in a trance, Pearl shook her head slightly, and stumbled off in the direction they needed to go. Peridot stared, but followed nonetheless, bag heavy on her shoulders.

* * *

"Oh, thank the stars. We've got English first," Pearl muttered, scanning her new timetable. Peridot stared at her own, soaking up all the information - like she confirmed earlier, most classes were exactly the same.

"And we're in the same class!" Amethyst snuck up behind Peridot and noogied her head, despite her thick hair. Peridot hissed, weakly trying to throw the ecstatic girl off her shoulders.

"Oh how fun," she countered sarcastically, but a big smile grew on her lips anyway. "It's good to see you too, Amethyst."

"Ditto, P-dot."

"You too, Garnet." Peridot directed her gaze to the woman leaning against the wall next to Pearl, a small smile tugging her lips. She merely offered a thumbs up.

Peridot's eyes wandered over into the distance, catching a familiar flash of pink in the hallway. Grinning from ear to ear, she hauled Pearl's shoulders down to her measly height of 5'1" and whispered, "Look, it's her!"

Pearl followed her line of sight and blushed the slightest. "Yes, I am very well aware of that."

"Hey, isn't that your English classroom? Oh my stars, it is! She's in your class!"

"Peridot!" Pearl snapped. " _Please_ , for the love of god, be quieter!"

Peridot, whom was pointing at the girl with the massive pink curls of hair walking into the classroom next door, slowly let her arm fall and smiled sheepishly.

"Dude, you should totally sit next to her!" Amethyst joined in, snickering and patting - or more like shoving - Pearl harshly on the back.

"Would you guys stop?" she barked in a hushed tone, and stalked off to her class with her cheeks burning. Garnet stared at Peridot and Amethyst - at least, it seemed like she was, it was hard to tell when she wore shades that hid her eyes - and trailed behind Pearl.

"Aw, c'mon!" Amethyst called out to Garnet, trying to suppress her laughter. Peridot eyed her, finding the whole spectacle amusing, but vouched on not teasing Pearl _too_ much.

"Come on Amethyst, we have our own class to attend," she urged, grasping the other girl's arm and tugging her into the class.

The two took a seat at the back of the classroom, as both of them didn't like people staring at the back of their heads, and enjoyed the seclusion. Peridot watched the other students filing through the classroom, observing who had changed over the summer, and who looked exactly the same, picking out every piece of information she could from the way they dressed and lumbered to their chosen seats.

_He's tired, obvious by his hands tucked lazily into his jacket pockets, and the bags under his eyes. Not to mention the complete lack of concentration in the way he's walking._

_She's obviously a bigger nerd than me, actually seeming excited to be here. Or maybe she just likes English. Maybe she had a date on the holidays?_

_She's… unreadable. No, wait, she's bored. And pretty. Wow._

Peridot stared wide-eyed at the girl who walked into the classroom last, baffled by the thought that entered her mind.

_I've never seen her around before. Is she new? Has to be._

The girl, slightly tall and lanky (but nothing like the spindly limbs of Pearl, Peridot noted) wandered over to a table to the opposite side of the classroom door, and in effect, Peridot and Amethyst. She wore a completely bored expression; eyes droopy, lips slightly apart, brow relaxed. Peridot observed her sink into her seat, turning away from everyone in the classroom (even the teacher whom had finally strolled in), to blankly stare out the window, chin rested in the palm of her hand.

"Dude, you're staring," Amethyst's warm whisper into her ear awoke Peridot from her daydream. She whipped her head around, staring at Amethyst straight in the eyes, and a faint blush crawled to her cheeks beneath her thick glasses.

"Oh," was all she managed to splutter in the softest of voices, and instantly diverted her attention to the teacher.

But she could see it, out of the corner of her eye, not only Amethyst's growing cheeky grin, but that flutter of brilliant blue hair.


	2. A Literal Salt Shaker

A Literal Salt Shaker

"Dude, you should've seen the way Peri was staring at her!" Amethyst announced cockily through a mouthful of a bacon and egg roll. Pearl flinched back, dodging the flying pieces of food flung out of the over-excitable girl's mouth opposite her.

"Amethyst! Don't talk with your mouth full!" she chided, frowning when Amethyst merely poked her tongue out at her.

"Don't be such a mum, Pearl. Plus, don't you want to know who it is?"

"Who what is?" Pearl's face scrunched up in confusion, and then relaxed a second later. "Oh! Oh my stars! Has Peridot finally found someone worth staring at besides herself?"

Even Garnet snickered at that remark. Peridot hid her face further into the depths of her tense arms resting on the cool, metal bench.

"You do realise I am _RIGHT HERE_?" Peridot groaned into her arms, trying but seemingly failing at ignoring the conversation. She flicked her head up, scowling at the spitball machine that was Amethyst beside her for bringing up the topic. "I don't get crushes! That's all of your weaknesses!"

Amethyst gazed at her smugly, remembering to actually swallow her food before talking, to avoid another lecture about manners from the uptight Pearl. "Nope, I don't believe that. Obviously, you couldn't see the way you were staring at her. Literally, your eyes followed her to her desk as if she was a walking hotdog or something."

Peridot scowled darkly at Amethyst, who was basically choking on her sandwich trying to stifle her laughter.

"Shut up! Am I not allowed to look at someone for 15 seconds and then never look at them again?" she snapped. "How dare you accuse me of such atrocious romantic actions!"

"Amethyst, look what you did!" Pearl scolded playfully, flinging her arms into the air for extra effect. "You made the raging asexual come back!"

The trio erupted into laughter as Peridot shoved her head back into her arms. "I need new friends."

"Amethyst, Pearl. I think Peridot's had enough embarrassment for one day," Garnet's soothing voice responded to the chaos from in front of Peridot. She placed a hand delicately on Peridot's arm for a brief moment, some form of comfort, then retreated it.

"Thank you," she grumbled in response. Mood still sour, she relaxed and lifted her head out of her arms, reaching inside her bag beside her feet for her apple. Before sinking her teeth into the fruit, Peridot faced Amethyst, who was finally suppressing her giggles, and darkly commented, "Remind me to never come to English again."

The four of them - Peridot, Amethyst, Pearl and Garnet - had survived the first two classes of the day, and were taking their well-deserved break. Peridot, after being flustered from the new girl in English (not that she'd ever admit it), actually tried to concentrate on the teacher and the work put out for them, but every now and then, she couldn't help glancing at the girl with the bright blue hair.

 _It's not my fault that she has such a vivid hair colour,_ Peridot inwardly grumbled to herself.

After their English classes, the four split off into different directions - Peridot to Information & Technology, Amethyst and Pearl to Home Economics, and Garnet off to Drama. IT had to be one of Peridot's favourite classes, if not the best; programming and general computer use was right up her alleyway. With an introduction to the final year of IT from the teacher, she set off researching HTML & CSS for her first assignment. If it were any other class, the silence would be unsettling, but being a room full of anti-social or shy nerds like herself, it was probably the most comfortable thing to happen. Peridot was thankful for a silent period to herself anyways; friends were tiring after all, though she was very grateful for their company.

Even if their desired form of company at the time being was teasing her for even _looking_ at somebody.

Peridot turned her attention back to her (very boring) apple, ripping a chunk of it out, distractedly staring off past Pearl at a very blank wall.

_I shouldn't be mad that they're picking on me; after all, we all do it to Pearl. Man, it must be tiring. Maybe I should apologise for picking on her so much?_

"Psst." Amethyst was in her ear again and Peridot couldn't suppress an irritated groan.

"What now?" she replied, each word heavy with disinterest.

"The new girl's over there. Why don't you ask if she wants to hang with us?"

Peridot stared at Amethyst, and slowly sunk into a frown. "What, so you can tease me more in front of her?"

"No dude!" she responded with very convincing fake-shock, Peridot noted. "She's all alone. It would be nice to offer her a chance for friendship, yanno?"

Peridot continued to leer at Amethyst, trying to see any hidden catch behind her words. She studied her face; dark brown eyes unmoving, but glinting with cheeriness, brow slackened, lips smiling softly - everything pointed towards truth (though that was rare of Amethyst, Peridot knew).

Yet, she refused. "No. She looks fine by herself."

"Aw, c'mon Peri! Don't be such a sourpuss."

"Look, I don't need coaxing!" Peridot snapped back. At her harsh tone, her eyes widened. "I'm sorry, I just don't like talking to new people. You guys know that."

Pearl and Garnet whipped their gazes from each other, effectively stopping their conversation, and stared at her. Peridot felt something inside of her click. She needed to be alone.

Offering an apologetic look to her friends, she launched up from her seat and slung her bag over her shoulders, throwing her half-eaten apple in the bin as she passed it on her way out of the cafeteria.

Peridot shuffled through the hallways of the school, reaching the senior yard and finding a secluded place to lie down for a few minutes before the next class would start. She was surrounded by low-lying trees with pastel white bark, branches extending metres away from the trunk, ending in bushes of green-grey leaves. Back pressed against a certain tree she usually found herself running off too, she wrenched her tablet from her bag, sighing in relief as she sunk into the perfect cranny in the trunk.

The last years seniors (and this years too, it seemed) hardly ever came to the forested part of the yard, which left Peridot content but confused. Between the trees offering comfortable resting places and lots of shade, and the cool breeze parting through her hair and stroking her skin, she couldn't understand why this _wasn't_ the perfect place. But, it left Peridot alone, and that's exactly what she wanted at times like this.

Times like this were when her thoughts-to-words filter in her head started to deteriorate, and words fumbled from her mouth in desperate attempts to say something coherent, but ultimately the words strung together only proved to be harmful.

_Why can't I just bloody think before I talk all the time? For the love of god, I can't go two seconds without saying something stupid! I'm such a clod._

It was times like this when the self-depreciation seeped into her mind space. It was quite… _different_ , contradicting her arrogant and narcissistic personality.

_Just talk normally for once!_

_How hard is it to be nice, Peri?_

_You're better off with just online friends._

Peridot bit her lip hard. She hated these thoughts - they were very rare, but nonetheless, unwanted. She wasn't great at controlling her speech, and self-consciousness had a way of nagging at her when so.

Peridot forced her concentration to her tablet. Connected to the school's WiFi, she hastily logged into Skype - her last resort.

_space nerd [11:27AM]: help_

_space nerd [11:27AM]: I'm having those thoughts again and they suck_

Peridot eagerly awaited a reply for five minutes, but then _that_ screeching sound, the bell, rang throughout the school, and she sighed disappointedly. Okay, so, maybe Winter wasn't always around to reply.

Tucking her tablet back into her bag, she stood up defeated, heaving her bag back onto her back.

Time to finish off the rest of the day.

* * *

As a general rule of thumb, any class after some form of mental breakdown is going to suck. That much said was true for Peridot, as Maths with a perky Pearl ignoring the outburst at break wasn't easy. She was thankful for her friends appreciating her feelings and not mentioning times where her personality flawed, but at that moment in time, all she wanted was Pearl to shut her mouth with this positive attitude.

But maybe the class after would be better.

Peridot, sighing (she was doing that _a lot_ today) against the wall outside her Art class, waited for her teacher to come along and unlock the door so she could slink into the shadows and blend in for a period, before the inevitable lunch break.

Art wasn't a strong suit of Peridot's. Being a nerd and openly acknowledging that, she stereotypically had a strong point for Mathematics and classes revolving around problem-solving. She didn't exactly _like_ Maths, but it was where her highest grades were, along with Information  & Technology and Physics. Nonetheless, she enjoyed Art - it was probably going to help with the creative side of her IT class anyways.

The creative classrooms were always the strangest to walk into - all other classes were so formal. Maths had its strategically placed desks and colourful posters decorating the walls, English had its rows of bookshelves filled with sets of novels and dictionaries, and so forth. But for classes like Art and Music, Peridot noted, there was always a relaxing, almost informal, atmosphere to the room. You could call the teacher by their first name and it'd be totally normal.

So when the teacher arrived and unlocked the door, giving Peridot a soft smile for being so early, and the small girl creeped in, her spirits were lifted a little. There were two large rows of desks, dozens of (rather uncomfortable looking) stools placed underneath them, and against each wall of the room were shelves filled with interesting tools and materials. Against some of the windows were the best of the students' work; from painted clay models to felted clothes. Peridot ached to have one of her pieces up for show there someday, purely because of her competitive personality and arrogance.

Finding a seat towards the back of the classroom (as per usual), Peridot plonked onto her stool, and gazed at the teacher and around the room, soaking in the scenery. The other students filed in later than her again, much like every other class she had - she had a tendency to come to all her classes early.

Some of the students would throw her a wary or concerned look, as if they were _actually_ contemplating sitting near Peridot, or pitying her. But most didn't bother noticing her existence at the end of the row of desks.

 _Once a loner, always a loner_ , she bitterly thought.

Hiding her face from the rest of the students, she had an intense staring contest with the polished wooden tabletop - at least until she was _rudely_ interrupted by someone slumping into the seat to the right of her desk.

Lifting her head, Peridot went to glare at the person who dared to sit next to the nerd with the unruly mop of hair and thick glasses.

But it was _her_.

Locks of wavy deep blue hair curled around her chin, hiding the slight freckling on her cheeks, and those intense blue eyes were glazed over, as if in daydreaming, and _oh my stars_ -

_I should stop staring._

As if on cue, those extraordinary sea blue eyes focused on Peridot, and she felt the extreme desire to break eye contact, but _damn_ she was pretty, even when staring at her so dully. Peridot took full note of everything she could about the new girl in roughly 10 seconds: plump cheeks, some freckles, intense blue eyes, skin not nearly as pale as hers, vibrant chin-length blue hair, blue fingernails, black leather jacket, black je—

"… What?" the new girl drawled, her bored expression not wavering for a second.

Peridot realised she was still staring.

"N-nothing," she stammered, jolting back into reality, directing her attention away from the new girl, to _anything_ but the new girl. Peridot inwardly cringed - so cliché.

The teacher was blabbering on about something important, something about researching and practising clay-work techniques, so perhaps that would be the best thing to focus on.

"You're high strung," the new girl bluntly mumbled, focus away from Peridot but clearly directed at her.

Peridot took a second to observe her condition; shaking hands and legs, eyes wide, and of course she was anxiously biting and licking her lips. She decided that if there was ever a better time to _not_ be a giant clod, that time was now.

"It's the first day back, so yeah, I am kinda nervous," Peridot muttered. The new girl nodded slightly, but didn't pay anymore attention to the nervous wreck sitting across from her.

Peridot didn't stop shaking until lunch break.

* * *

"Yo, P-Dot!" Amethyst almost concerned voice shattered through Peridot's internal voices. "Look, the new girl is by herself again!"

'The Two Nerds and Two Probably Cool People' group were making their way to the outside yard for lunch break, Pearl and Amethyst bickering about hygiene or something rather, and Garnet agreeing with Pearl, when Amethyst decided the best thing to do was to awake Peridot from her mindless state.

She gestured over to the new girl, the same one who _actually talked to her_ in Art, albeit only a few words, and Peridot gazed over.

"I'm going to invite her to lunch with us," the blonde nerd stated, filled with determination.

"Woo, yeah! Go Peri-dactyl!" Amethyst cheered softly (was that even possible?), and Peridot stumbled over to the new girl.

She stood by the table the new girl was seated at, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot. "Hi, I-I never introduced myself to you in Art." Peridot waited for some kinda response, but all the other girl did was glance at her with that same bored expression she had all day. "My name's Peridot."

The new girl, whom Peridot suddenly realised was browsing through her phone under the table, didn't utter a word for a few seconds. Noting the small nerd's determination - or stubbornness - she sighed in defeat.

"Lapis."

Peridot blinked in surprise. She didn't expect an answer at all. "As in Lapis Lazuli?"

"No, as in the fucking planet," she drawled sarcastically. Peridot flinched at the sudden vulgar attitude.

"There's a planet named Lapis?" Peridot asked, genuinely confused. Sometimes, sarcasm didn't come naturally to her. _Sometimes_. The new girl looked up disbelievingly.

_Oh._

"Well, I-uh, saw you've been sitting alone… and, um… would you like to sit with us?" Peridot stumbled over her words, shaking slightly.

_God, she's intimidating as heck._

Without even looking up from her book, the new girl - Lapis - stated, "No thanks."

Peridot glanced at her once more and nodded, maybe a bit too eagerly, and dashed off, Amethyst, Pearl and Garnet hot on her heels. She probably would've had a panic attack at the rate that conversation was going at.

* * *

Peridot collapsed into her bed the second she arrived home. Her mother, of course, had tried to ask how her first day back was like, and how it was like to see her friends again, and—

"Good," she managed to spit out, and stormed off to her bedroom, evading the questions to come.

She groaned into her pillow. Today had gone _horribly._

_First, I just had to sleep in and basically be electrocuted awake by Mum storming in, then the school's crowded as heck, and then there's this really pretty girl who actually got my heart racing for a few seconds! Hah! Who would've thought! And then it turns out she's the human manifestation of a salt shaker with a vocabulary of 5 words! And not to mention, the constant teasing by my friends. Thanks guys._

Peridot rolled over in her bed. _Fuck today._

Maybe there was something good awaiting her on the computer. She scrambled over the junk scattered on the floor, including stray pieces of paper, multiple headphones, and lots of cords. Maybe scrolling through whatever Steam sale there was currently on would help sooth her mood.

But her computer had other ideas in mind - the blue Skype icon pinged when her desktop flooded to life. Peridot glanced at it. As much as she wholeheartedly never wanted to participate in conversation again, she couldn't ignore this one request.

_space nerd [11:27AM]: help_

_space nerd [11:27AM]: I'm having those thoughts again and they suck_

_winter nerd [3:47PM]: oh shit sorry i wasnt online_

_winter nerd [3:47PM]: this new school doesnt let us use phones_

_space nerd [3:47PM]: that's okay, I guess_

_space nerd [3:48PM]: I'm better now anyway, I think_

_winter nerd [3:48PM]: how was ur day anyway? apart from those thoughts_

_space nerd [3:49PM]: it was… okay. I've seen better days. what about yours?_

Peridot, although disheartened by the question directed at her, was beginning to show the faintest smile, watching her closest friend bumble on about their day. It reminded her of the first time they 'met'.

_winter nerd [3:49PM]: i did some stupid things_

_winter nerd [3:49PM]: r u proud of me?_

_winter nerd [3:49PM]: fuck first impressions amiright_

_winter nerd [3:50PM]: some of the classes were actually fun_

_winter nerd [3:50PM]: and the school is pretty. lots of nature n stuff_

_winter nerd [3:51PM]: i think u would rlly like it here_

_space nerd [3:52PM]: I don't know how you do it, but you always cheer me up_

_space nerd [3:52PM]: sorry, off topic. did you make any new friends?_

_winter nerd [3:52PM]: whats up nerd? someone i need to beat up for u?_

Peridot fidgeted in her seat with an ever-growing grin. That's what made online friends such good company - threatening to fight your enemies whilst being nowhere near you.

_winter nerd [3:52PM]: and who needs friend when ive got u?_

Peridot almost laughed out loud. No, she was not going to mention the butterflies in her stomach. That didn't happen, at all.

_space nerd [3:53PM]: I don't think I've ever heard you say something as cringey as that. I'm going to expose you_

_space nerd [3:53PM]: you could be some creepy 43 year old man parked in a white van outside my house_

_winter nerd [3:54PM]: im a very beautiful 17 yr old girl thank u v much_

_winter nerd [3:54PM]: im offended! i proclaim my love to u and u call me a 43 yr old man?_

Peridot snorted. Out of all of her friends, considering she'd seen her three offline friends, it was her one online friend that cheers her up? More proof for her 'online friends are better than offline friends' imaginary essay.

_space nerd [3:55PM]: you up for a game of overwatch or something?_

_winter nerd [3:55PM]: ur all over the place today_

_winter nerd [3:55PM]: but yes, id love a game with my fav nerd_


	3. 1st the Worst, 2nd the... Slightly Better

1st the Worst, 2nd the... Slightly Better

"He's the terrorist! Cat's the terrorist! Get him!"

Peridot perched in her seat tensely, hands shaking on the mouse and WASD keys of her keyboard, shouting into her headset. Her eyes were glued to the computer screen, not flinching for a second when her mum slammed through the door of her room.

"Peridot!" she roared, and _then_ the small nerd reflexively curled into a ball on her chair. She whipped her head around to face her mum, but avoided eye contact. "You've been screaming for the past half an hour! Give me your headphones. I don't want to be woken up again."

Peridot quickly flicked her head up, staring at the glowering woman, mouth hanging open. "But Mum—"

"No buts!"

Peridot slunk over to her mother, headset tangled around her arm, and she glanced up, shamefaced. "Sorry Mum," she mumbled, extending her arm, feeling the cool plastic headset ripped away.

"Now go to bed, Peridot. You've got school tomorrow," her mum chided after an apologetic sigh, and stalked out the room.

Peridot sighed defeatedly into her seat at the computer, but didn't make a move to finish her game of Trouble in Terrorist Town.

If she wasn't going to chat by voice, then she always had her keyboard.

_space-doritos: I turn around for one second and now I'm dead on the floor_

_space-doritos: thanks clods_

_WinterStrikesAgain: welcome to the club_

The Terrorists won, and another round commenced, Peridot being placed on the Terrorist team. Her heart pounded a little - she loved being the one to massacre everyone, but it was exhilarating trying to get away with it (not to be taken out of context).

She opened the terrorist shop, purchasing a C4 and a knife.

_WinterStrikesAgain: are u fUCKIN KIDDING ME_

_WinterStrikesAgain: no nO_

_WinterStrikesAgain: i am not being killed by a 10 year old dont u dare take away my dignity_

Peridot flew around the corner, quite literally backstabbing WinterStrikesAgain. She had to suppress her 'nyeh heh heh' signature laugh and muttering, "Die die die!" as to not wake her parents.

A few more rounds proceeded, and Peridot found that despite the game being very entertaining, she was going to fall asleep on her keyboard. Even the whiney voices in-game couldn't keep her irritated enough to stay awake (though, WinterStrikesAgain's commentary in the chat-box about '10 year olds shouldn't scream into their mic' was worth hanging around for).

Before she logged off, Peridot sent a quick message to the stranger player:

_space-doritos: hey, you seem like a pretty cool person. would you like to chat on Skype? my username's green-space-doritos_

_WinterStrikesAgain: yea sure! my username there is the same here_

Peridot was both surprised and excited. Nobody ever wanted to talk to her - online or offline!

She quickly opened up Skype, practically bouncing in her seat, and wasted no time adding this new friend of hers.

Before she bolted off to bed, full of gamer adrenaline and giddiness, she left another message:

_green-space-doritos [9:57PM]: hey! I'm off to sleep but maybe we can talk tomorrow? :)_

_green-space-doritos [9:57PM]: also can I call you Winter?_

_WinterStrikesAgain [9:58PM]: smilies are for old moms_

_WinterStrikesAgain [9:58PM]: but yea ok!_

Peridot didn't know whether to talk offence from the emoticon comment (she didn't really know the appropriate usage of them anyway), but launched off her chair, trying to contain her joy.

She'd made her first friend.

* * *

The sun's light flickered through the curtained windows, and some light shed onto the half-asleep Lapis curled into her bedsheets, whom was watching the dust particles float in the air around her in a hazy state. Reaching for her phone sitting idly on her beside table, she eyed the time - 6:48AM.

_Way too early._

She fumbled for her earphones tangled next to her phone, plugging them into the jack and placing them in her ears. She sighed back into her pillows, propping her elbows into her hips, and brought her phone to her face (wary, however, as she dropped her phone on her face far too many times).

With no new text messages, emails, or notifications, Lapis scanned through her iTunes library, shuffling through her go-to music to relax to in the early mornings. She tapped at her current favourite song over the past few days.

The Paper Kites' song _Willow Tree March_ softly burst into her ears. She hummed to the lyrics, occasionally whispering some of the words to the summer-autumn morning in her bedroom.

_And we all still die._

_Yeah we all still die._

_What will you leave behind?_

_Oh we all still die._

Lapis snuggled up to her thick blue tiger blanket, falling further into the half-dreaming haze that she enjoyed every morning. Sure, waking up (especially early) sucked, but chilling for an hour with acoustics softly purring in her ears was more than enough to give her a sense of contentedness.

Countless songs played throughout the morning, from singer/songwriters, and indie rock, to folk. Anything soothing and acoustic was up Lapis' music alleyway.

Checking the time again - 7:35AM - she slowly rose out of her bed, shuffling over to dresser and pulling out today's attire. Tugging her black ripped skinny jeans around her waist and white PVRIS shirt over her head, Lapis tumbled out of her room and drowsily entered the kitchen, grabbing a quick breakfast snack - a couple of biscuits. Definitely a healthy breakfast.

"Hey honey, how was your first day of school?" Lapis' mum asked from the kitchen table. "You didn't tell me last night."

"Oh, sorry. It was alright." Lapis dropped into the seat next to her mum at the table, softly smiling. "What book are you reading now?"

Her mother looked up from her book, keeping her hand wedged at the page she was at. "Just another teenage cliché romance. Did you make any friends?"

Lapis lazily stared at the kitchen. "No."

"Are you putting on the attitude again?"

Lapis shrugged hesitantly.

"Sweetie, I don't want you to be alone for the rest of the year. Please, try to be nice to someone." Her mother's concerned look drew Lapis' eyes to look at her.

She sighed. "Maybe."

Lapis' mother placed a soft hand on her arm, gently patting it, and went back to being nose deep in her book. The girl stood up from her seat and sauntered to the bathroom, checking herself in the mirror.

Lapis always caught herself staring into her own eyes, taking note of the intense swirls of blue and sea-foam green hues in the irises. Her line of vision flickered to her nose stud, the small blue stone matching her eyes.

Pulling herself out of her trance, she brushed her teeth and ignored her mother's make-up bag left on the tabletop; she was much too careless to bother caking her face with cosmetics like other girls did at school. Satisfied with her morning ritual, Lapis wandered back into her room, collecting all her schoolwork for the day. Her eyes flickered to a silhouette in the corner of her room, and she grabbed that too. Now that she saw what Music was like yesterday, she wasn't going to neglect her acoustic guitar.

Quickly stuffing on her blue Converse high-tops, Lapis made her way to the front door, backpack slung over her shoulders and guitar case in her hand.

"Do you want a lift Lapis?" her mum called out, still seated at the kitchen table.

"Um, could you pick me up after school? I want to walk this morning."

"Sure. Have a good day at school!"

"Yeah," Lapis grumbled, "because 'good day' and 'school' go together."

Strolling out the front door, she took in a deep breath of the cool summer-autumn air, refreshing her lungs. Tightening her grip on her guitar, Lapis paced herself to the school, passing by parks thick with beautiful trees, and she felt something inside of her, something _good_ , click. Being enveloped in so much nature always made her insides buzz with warmth. This definitely deserved some acoustic music in the background.

Pulling her phone out of her jeans, she scoured her music library again, clicking on Mumford & Sons' song, _Awake My Soul_. The day could've been perfect if it wasn't for the looming threat of school.

* * *

Arriving at the school half an hour later with 20 minutes to spare, Lapis found a secluded area near the front gates to sit down and people-watch. It was peaceful and serene; much better than her old school, an overcrowded place with no outside areas apart from the oval. It simply sucked.

 _But this?_ Lapis thought, _definitely worth moving to._

Playing with her phone to pass the time and scrolling through her music furthermore, she spotted someone eye-catching. The tiny blonde nerd with the huge glasses was bounding into the school grounds, a small smile tugging at her lips as she waved to the other nerds.

Lapis wondered why the dork invited her to her group. They looked like a bunch of loners to Lapis (maybe with the exception of the one with the giant hairdo and funky style), and well, she was a loner too, but loners were meant to be _left alone_. Hence the name.

The bell sounded, and Lapis was drawn from her thoughts. Yanking her timetable from her bag, she scanned and found her first class was study period. She could probably get away with not attending the class - which was in the library - but something about being nice played in head from her earlier conversation with her mother.

Lapis sighed, enjoyment fleeing as her school day started, and made her way to the Music room (which admittedly she got lost trying to find yesterday, like with all her classes), carrying her guitar.

Knocking on the door, she briefly greeted the teacher and asked permission to leave her instrument in the classroom until second period. Bolting away from the teacher (not that he wasn't nice, she just didn't want to linger), she trudged to the library, wondering what she could do with a study period. Research art techniques? Jot down some lyrics? _Ugh, Maths_?

Entering the library and cowering to the back of the room, she found a seat by herself, opting for a bored expression so nobody came over. _Yes_ , she would 'play nice' today, but Lapis preferred to scare off anybody before they had a chance to talk to her. That nerd that talked to her - Penny? - wasn't the only one to make attempts. Some dark-skinned girl with silky black hair invited her over to her group, and then one of the guys from said group with a really long face and bleached hair made a second attempt. Lapis recognised him as the local DJ Sour Cream, but she had no idea who he _really_ was.

_Why did everyone have to try so goddamn hard?_

Sinking further into her seat, Lapis glimpsed the blonde nerd again, a stupid grin on her face and bounce in her step. Immediately behind her, one of her friends with the short pink hair was chatting away, gesturing all over the place with her hands.

Despite clearly being the biggest nerds, Lapis couldn't help but think they were also kinda cute.

_I should probably stop calling everyone a nerd. I'm probably as nerdy as them._

Lapis felt a pang of guilt in her chest - she'd been so rude to the ne— blonde girl ( _what was her goddamn name?_ ). She deserved at least an apology for her unthoughtful behaviour.

Groaning quietly to herself, the blue haired girl slowly lifted herself from her seat and wandered over to the other girl, interrupting her conversation with the spindly looking one (in fact, if you stuck four more arms on her, she'd look like a spider, she noted).

Lapis glanced over the much smaller girl, noticing she was wearing the same obnoxious bright green checkered hoodie as the day before, but pointed out her shirt.

"'The sight of this shirt fills you with determination', huh?" Lapis commented, focusing on the other girl's eyes.

Her mouth slackened, awestruck, and a tinge of colour crept to her cheeks as her friend crossed her arms behind her. "Y-yeah, it's an—"

"Undertale reference."

The other girl's eyes bulged out of her head. "I didn't know you knew about games!"

Lapis nodded. "Look," she began. What was her name? Perry? Oh, Peridot! "Peridot, I'm sorry for being rude yesterday."

"I-it's okay," she stumbled.

_Is Peridot afraid of me? Shit._

Lapis went to say something more, but nothing fell out of her open mouth. The other one, the one with the long limbs and pink hair, butted in.

"As much as we'd love to stay and chat, we've got work to do," she said matter-of-factly, and began dragging Peridot away by the arm to a desk on the other side of the library.

Lapis watched, glaring at the back of Peridot's friend. She hoped that the pink haired girl wasn't always like that, otherwise how would she stand spending break with them?

_Wait, what? No, I am not seriously considering taking up Peridot's offer._

Lapis groaned into her palm - second day at school and she was already considering making friends? Especially with a cute girl? She wondered how long she could keep up the careless and bored behaviour.

* * *

Lapis made it all the way until her final period - another free period (which every student had) - until her attitude broke. Having no Art or English for the day meant she could easily ignore Peridot's invitations, which _thank god_ , she didn't try again at breaks. Though, Peridot's friend were in her music class. They mostly kept to themselves, minus the few times the girl with the white-purple dyed mane of hair glimpsed at her quietly strumming at her guitar, grinning wildly. It made Lapis kinda uncomfortable, like she was a zoo animal in an enclosure to be gawked at.

Media was breezy, simply planning what the students wanted in their photography folio. And even better, nobody in the class bothered her, as if everyone understood that she was a loner that _actually_ _liked_ being alone.

But then Maths came, and Lapis was trapped in the same room with the white-purple haired girl from Music. Lapis took a seat at the back of the class (as per usual), but the other girl took a seat at the desk in front of her, and swivelled around, staring at her with a huge mischievous grin.

"I'm Amethyst, by the way," she announced, grin not faltering for a second.

Lapis merely raised an eyebrow at her antics, directing her bored expression back to her maths book.

"I would ask your name, but P-Dot already said it was Lapis. Right?" she continued, pretending that Lapis wasn't ignoring her.

 _P-Dot?_ "Yep."

"That's great, that's great. This is also the part where you say hello."

Lapis glared at Amethyst. "Stop. Talking."

 _Be nice_ , she scolded herself inwardly.

Amethyst sighed, and flipped around to face the front of the class. "I tried."

Lapis frowned, more at herself than anything, and scribbled something in her maths book and tore it out.

_Hello. Sorry I suck at talking._

She leant over and placed the torn paper note on Amethyst's table, then instantly stuck her face back into her book, pretending to actually read.

A note was a start.

In her final and 5th period of the day, Lapis sunk absentmindedly into her chair that she sat on during 1st period in the library, manoeuvring her pen through her fingers in a small attempt to entertain herself. Bailing was a nice idea. She'd much prefer to spend an hour under a tree and play her guitar or listen to music than twiddle her thumbs in the book museum.

The chair to her right was pulled out of its place, and someone fell into it without a word.

Lapis gazed over, and — _oh. It's the nerd, Peridot._

"Hi," the blonde grumbled in her higher-than-average pitched voice.

"You're persistent."

She looked up with shock plastered over her face. Maybe that wasn't the right thing to say.

"Sorry. Hi," Lapis corrected.

Peridot paused for a second, as if turning the cogs around in her head for the correct thing to say. "So you like Undertale, huh?"

"I like lots of games."

"Oh?" Peridot turned her full attention to Lapis, those big, round eyes focusing entirely on hers. It was startling, to say the least, gazing into those warm, hazel eyes. "Me too."

"Duh," Lapis snorted. She watched the blonde quickly turn away, hiding an embarrassed blush. "What games do you like?"

"I mostly like story driven games. L-like, um, The Last of Us?"

"Oh. Same." Lapis watched Peridot hesitate on what to say, clearly failing to keep the conversation going. She realised that it was probably her turn on trying to hold the conversation (though, did she really want to?) "I also like multiplayer games. It's fun playing with other people."

"Same." Peridot fidgeted. "Any specific games you like?"

"I'm chill with all."

"Ah. Okay."

Lapis shook her head, probably trying to rid the soft smile on her lips. She ignored Peridot's tension. "Do you want to bail?"

Peridot flinched. "Skip class?"

"Yeah." Lapis shrugged. "It's the last period, and it's a spare."

The blonde delayed for a partial second, then shook her head vigorously. "No! I can't skip class!"

Lapis raised an eyebrow dubiously. "Whatever floats your boat."

The blue haired girl stood up slowly and stretched her limbs, humming when her body no longer felt strained. Throwing one last glance at Peridot, she strolled away.

"Lapis!"

" _Yes_ , Peridot?" she groaned.

"Um, goodbye?"

"Bye."

Before the blonde nerd could open her mouth to say anything else, Lapis continued strolling away at a much faster pace, bursting through the library doors and on her way to Music to gather her guitar.

* * *

Lapis had to admit; walking to school was a nice feeling, but driving back home in her mother's car after a long day at school was a much better feeling.

She shadowed her mother into the house, dropping her luggage in her room and returning to collapse into the couch. "You wanted to tell me something?"

"Oh, yes!" her mother replied, seemingly forgetting the conversation only five minutes ago. She stacked the few bags of groceries on the kitchen bench, and ambled over to Lapis on the couch. "Your father wants to see you on Saturday."

Lapis swore under her breath. "Please tell me you're joking."

"He's not that bad." And it was true - her father actually wasn't that bad for one that didn't live with her. He made sure to visit often with only kind words to say, and taking her out to do fun things - like dads were supposed to do with their children. It was the company that he brought along that bugged her.

"I know," Lapis sighed.

"Then what's the problem?"

"It's _Jasper_."

Her mother bit her lip. "She's not that bad either, Lapis."

"Yeah, that's because she doesn't treat you the same way as me," she retorted. "She's a real pain in the ass."

"Lapis!"

"What? It's true!" Lapis crossed her arms over her chest tightly, huffing and frowning. "She makes fun of me all the time." Well, it wasn't entirely the truth, but it was close enough.

"Isn't that what sisters are supposed to do?"

"She's my _half_ -sister."

"I don't see how that makes a difference."

"I'm going to my room."

Lapis stalked off, mood bitter. There were better people to talk to about issues like that than her mother, that's for sure.

She slumped into her bed with all the intention to have a nap, when her phone pinged in her pocket. She brought it up to her face and read the message, a small smile forming on her lips.

_space nerd [3:56PM]: I think I died from embarrassment today. twice. not ONCE. twice_

_winter nerd [3:56PM]: thats my nerd B)_


	4. That's What Friends Are For

That's What Friends Are For

Lapis lazily sunk onto the stool to Peridot's right. Barely shooting her a glimpse, the blonde gazed ahead at the teacher, pointing at the many facts about modelling and clay-work techniques scribbled on the whiteboard. Pretending to be interested in whatever the teacher was chatting about with her posture so rigid probably wasn't convincing.

"I was weird yesterday," Peridot mumbled, not glancing at Lapis for a second. "It's probably best if you just ignore me."

Lapis stared at Peridot for a few seconds. "It's hard to ignore you when you look like you've seen a nude for the first time."

If Peridot could get any more rigid, then she did. Lapis watched the blonde's cheeks redden and failed to suppress a snort-laugh.

"Relax, it's only a joke."

"I know," Peridot grumbled, sketching some of the techniques from the whiteboard on her A3 piece of paper.

"I'm not going to ignore you."

Peridot glanced at Lapis, sketching on her page as well. Expression blank, she asked, "Why not?"

The blue haired girl hesitated, her hand pausing on the paper. "I'm not sure. You're in three of my classes and Tuesday's free period."

"Three classes?" Peridot frowned in confusion. "Oh! English, Art and in the library?"

"Yeah, you have a free period in the library with what's-her-name?"

Peridot shook her head. "Not exactly. Technically, it _is_ a study period, but Pearl and I are… busy."

"Busy?" Lapis raised an eyebrow skeptically. She mentally took note of the other nerd's name.

Peridot turned her attention back to the Art teacher, initially ignoring Lapis' question for the sake of her embarrassment, but gave in anyway. "We're a part of the… Robotics Club."

"Oh, that's cool. I still have Art and English with you, and the free period on Tuesdays."

"Huh?" Peridot threw her a glimpse, confused again and taken aback by her acceptance of being a total nerd.

"I'm not going to ignore you. You're in two of my classes," Lapis commented, smiling the slightest.

"Oh. Right."

Peridot felt her heart thud in her chest. She couldn't tell if it was an excited or fearful heartbeat.

* * *

"You're nervous," Garnet confidently stated as she settled down next to Peridot. The much smaller girl halted, sandwich comically hanging in front of her open mouth.

"How can you tell?" she questioned, dropping her sandwich on the paper bag.

"A magician never reveals her secrets."

Peridot frowned, and resumed eating, definitely not in the mood for a philosophical match on her break.

Pearl and Amethyst took their seat on the other side of the table, the former quizzically glancing at Garnet, and the latter shoving a cold pizza slice into her awaiting mouth.

"Hey guys, what'cha talkin' about?" Amethyst queried through a mouthful of stiff cheese and stale crust.

"Amethyst! What have I told you about eating with your mouth full?" Pearl squawked beside her, instinctively flinching away from the other girl.

"Sorry _Mum_ ," she joked, swallowing down the rest of her pizza slice in two seconds. "But seriously, you both look mundane. Well, Peri does at least. I can't tell with Garnet's shades."

Peridot finished off half of her sandwich, putting the other half back in the bag. She went to answer, but Garnet beat her to it.

"We were talking about Maths. We're going to see the teacher now. Come on, Peridot."

Peridot jumped out of her seat without a word, quickly trying to mimic the taller girl's large strides. She threw a glance behind her; Pearl and Amethyst stared at them, confounded.

"I don't understand," Peridot began. "I don't remember mentioning Maths?"

"That's because we didn't," Garnet replied calmly. "Follow me."

Peridot threw her hands into the air. She didn't understand _anything_ that was happening today. Grumbling under her breath, Peridot shoved her hands into her pockets and shadowed Garnet.

When she felt a cool breeze ruffle in her messy hair, she peered at her surroundings, realisation soaking in. "Oh, we're here?"

Garnet smiled softly, beckoning Peridot over to where she plonked down beside a large tree. This was _her_ seclusion place - did Garnet know she came here when she was stressed?

"Why are we here?" Peridot asked, sitting down next to Garnet and drawing her legs close to her chest, hugging her knees.

"I want you to know that I'm here, Peridot," Garnet affirmed, seemingly gazing into the blonde's eyes behind her own shades.

Something told her Garnet didn't _literally_ mean that she was right next her. "Okay? Thanks?"

"Something's bothering you."

Peridot inwardly shivered, body firm as she stared at a leaf tumbling past her feet. "Maybe."

"I'm not going to push you," Garnet spoke in a soothed voice, placing a tender hand on Peridot's arm, "but I will listen to what you have to say."

Peridot breathed deeply. "The new girl - Lapis."

"What about her?"

"She's being nice to me now. I asked her to ignore me, but she doesn't want to."

Garnet chuckled lightly. "That's a normal reaction, Peridot. You don't ask people to ignore you and expect them to comply."

"She was ignoring me on the first day." Peridot sighed into her arms - it felt _good_ to talk to someone about this, but… it didn't feel right.

"She was probably stressed about starting her first day at a new school. Try to look at it from her perspective," Garnet assured, still offering that kind smile. "Do you share a lot of classes?"

"She's in my English and Art classes. She's also in the library when Pearl and I do Robotics, and for the free period on Tuesdays."

Garnet hesitated, thinking of the best response. "You've attempted to talk to her before. She's all alone in a new school, and you just so happen to be in a few of her classes. If she wants a friend, you're probably her best shot."

"I never thought about it like that," Peridot breathed, staring wide-eyed at Garnet. "Shoot, do you think I blew it?"

"You said so yourself," Garnet started, gathering herself and standing up, offering a hand out to Peridot, "she doesn't want to ignore you."

Peridot grabbed Garnet's hand, and was hauled up. "So things might be okay between Lapis and I?"

"There's nothing to worry about for the time being, Peridot."

The blonde beamed - so things were going to be okay, she was just overreacting. "Hey Garnet?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for listening… and helping."

"No worries."

"And Garnet?" Peridot bit her lip.

"Yes?"

"Why are there so many people named after stones here?"

Garnet chuckled. "Must've been a trend."

* * *

"Alright class, pick your partners," the teacher hollered, clapping his hands together and smiling crookedly.

Peridot curled into herself in the corner of the room, gazing over at the other students excitedly picking their best friends with mild disinterest. Of course, she ignored that pang of loneliness and exclusion making her heart beat faster. People didn't like her, and she had to accept that truth.

The teacher locked eyes with Peridot, and gestured in an encouraging way, as if pushing her towards the other students using the Force. Frowning, she ignored his hand requests and slumped into an uncomfortable swivel chair.

The chaos between the students died down, and the designated groups either sat around beige tables covered in dismantled electronics or on the navy carpet. Peridot sighed, and found herself staring distractedly at the open case of a computer on the table in front of her, so much so that she didn't register the person standing next to her.

"Hi," they said, and Peridot immediately groaned. Apparently that didn't shoo them off, because they stubbornly took a seat at the table.

"Why don't you go dominate someone else, Pearl?" Peridot snarled, propping one elbow onto the table and resting her cheek into her palm.

The other girl's face scrunched up, but she quickly cooled down. "I'm not here to fight, Peridot. I was… ugh, wondering if you'd like to team up?"

"I certainly wouldn't _like_ to," the blonde retorted. "But I don't have a choice, do I?"

Pearl smiled smugly, flicking her shoulder length strawberry-blonde hair off her shoulders. "That's right."

"Let me guess - nobody wanted your controlling, perfectionist ass in their group?" Peridot sniped back, leering.

"Listen, you tiny twerp. If we don't work together, _neither_ of us will pass this assessment," Pearl growled darkly, baring her teeth. "As toxic as your attitude is, I'm not willingly going to fail."

Peridot bit her tongue, holding back the wall of insults she had prepared. Reluctantly, she obeyed. "Whatever, but I'm taking the lead."

Pearl seethed. "This is a team project! _Not_ a competition over who can do better."

"Fine!" Peridot barked a little too loudly. "You take the lead! I'd love to see you get your first D."

"Ugh, that's not… Peridot. We are to work as a team. That's all I ask."

Peridot glared at Pearl, her blood boiling. "Liar," she spat.

Pearl raised an eyebrow questioningly, and sighed. "If you're going to be intolerable, at least be maturely intolerable. You're 15, right? Start acting like it. You'll never get friends if you hiss and snarl at people like you are now."

Peridot stared at the other 'mature' girl, stunned, but quickly wiped that expression away and grumbled.

"Good. Now, if your attitude is settled, how about we start brainstorming plans before the teacher becomes suspicious." At Peridot's unwilling glower, Pearl sighed and ignored the ball of anger and elected to see only a mature, nerdy teenager. "How much do you know about robotics?"

* * *

"Peridot, can you come with me for a second? I'm not feeling too well," Pearl quietly asked, voice quivering. Peridot sent her a suspicious glance, but nodded her head anyway. The students filed out of the Physics room, Pearl taking the lead as to quickly avoid prying eyes.

Taking hold of Peridot's hand - the blonde felt the nerves on her fingertips electrify and her heart flutter - Pearl stalked through the hallways, squeezing between the flow of teenagers and bursting through the front doors, almost gasping for fresh air.

"I saw Lapis here on Tuesday morning, and it reminded me of how I used to come here when I was younger," Pearl mentioned as she pulled a very confused Peridot to sit against a tree with soft and sturdy bark. "It is very serene, is it not?"

Peridot tucked her timetable into her bag. Amethyst and Garnet would probably wonder where the two of them were soon, but the blonde wasn't too worried. She had Robotics Club last period - _next_ period - on Thursday afternoon, and she had her lunch packed with her. Yeah, she could chill here with Pearl.

Pearl took Peridot's silence as a gesture to continue. "Remember two years ago, back in Year 10 - Sophomore - we used to always fight?"

"Yeah, what about it?" Peridot asked, cringing at the memory of how _stupidly hateful_ she was. _God, no wonder why nobody wanted to be my friend._

"I don't regret choosing to team with you," Peal reminisced, smiling distractedly. "You always called me popular, but I was as nerdy as you. Sure, some of the girls and boys in our classes invited me to team up with them, but I was always seen as below them." She sighed, hugging her knees to her chest. "They just wanted me because they knew I was smart and would help them get higher grades. Like an accessory. The only difference between you and I back then, was I was friendly and you were not, and people took advantage of that. But not you, Peridot. You were selfish, arrogant and a brat—" Peridot flinched at this, "— but you never used me."

Peridot cleared her throat. "I didn't know back then, but things worked out, didn't they?"

Pearl gazed into Peridot's eyes and smiled sorrowfully, and slowly rested her head against the blonde's shoulder (though, Pearl did have to sink further into the ground to be comfortable). Her short, pink hair brushed against Peridot's pale skin, and it sent shockwaves of tingles through her nerves.

"I never realised behind that attitude of yours there was someone who cared."

"I'm not very good at showing that I care though," Peridot admitted, noticing that Pearl's hand was still linked with hers. "That's what Garnet's good at."

"Well, I've got you for now."

Peridot fidgeted uncomfortably. She wasn't used to touching, and although she didn't mind it too much, it made her mind race and her words jumble together. "Pearl? Is something wrong?"

"Hmm?" Pearl hummed, absentmindedly squeezing Peridot's hand tighter.

"You don't normally spontaneously grab someone by the hand and drag them out to a quiet place, and then talk about the past. Plus, you said you're not feeling well as we left Physics."

Pearl jolted from her position on Peridot's shoulder, as if she were zapped. Instantly, Pearl yanked her hand away from Peridot's, holding her other hand over the mouth.

"Oh my stars, I'm sorry, I forgot you don't like people touching you, and, and—"

"It's okay," Peridot soothed (though she had no idea how to imitate a soothing voice - that wasn't her strength).

"—and… I'm really nervous, Peridot. Anxious, scared, terrified - I could conjure up hundreds of words."

"About the past?" Peridot frowned in confusion. "I don't understand."

"Oh," Pearl muttered. "Oh! No, I didn't explain myself, did I?"

Peridot watched the other girl tug at some loose threads on her pink leg-warmers distractedly, and then snapped her attention away, running a hand over her forehead and through her short hair. It suddenly seemed like the proud, perfectionist Mum-friend that Peridot knew vanished into a shipwreck of scattered words and thoughts.

"Maybe it would've been easier to talk to Garnet," Pearl uttered under her breath, but Peridot caught it. "I-um, what I was, am, nervous about is… I wanted to maybe invite Rose out to something?"

Peridot cocked her head like a dog, which Pearl did find amusing, but didn't smile. "Rose? Your crush?"

"Ah, um, yes. The one I… kinda like." Pearl's cheeks glowed at the admission.

Peridot genuinely smiled. Usually, she'd tease Pearl about this, but right now she was invulnerable, and she came to _her_. It was amazing to see her and Pearl go from bickering and play fighting to caring conversations. "Have you two talked much?"

"W-well… yes, but she talks to a lot of people."

"Psh, I'm sure she loves talking to you!"

Pearl looked up, gazing into Peridot's eyes, her own watery. "You really think so?"

"Definitely." Peridot nodded her head eagerly. "Actually, whenever I see you two walking in or out of the same class, it's always _you_ she's talking to!"

"Oh, I…" Pearl's blush deepened. "Rose and I have seen each other quite a few times outside class, but… I'm nervous to ask. Should I ask her if she'd like to catch up this weekend?"

"Yes, definitely!" Peridot repeated, beaming at her friend. The blonde jumped to her feet, offering her hand out to Pearl like Garnet had done for her yesterday. "In fact, we should go find her right now!"

"A-are you sure?" Pearl questioned worriedly, taking Peridot's hand and allowing her to lift her up.

"100% certain! Oh, but first… I need to apologise."

"For what?"

Peridot hid her face shyly. "For teasing you so much about your crush on Rose. I-I realised how small it makes you feel when everyone's picking on you for things you can't really control. So I'm sorry."

Pearl peered down at Peridot, a stupid giddy smile spreading on her face. "Thank you, Peridot."

"But that doesn't mean I won't pick on you when you do embarrassing things with her," Peridot snickered, and instead of Pearl's smile disappearing, it just grew bigger.


	5. Traveller

Traveller 

Lapis had known the blonde for four days and she'd already started enjoying her company more than being alone sometimes. She found herself trying to force back a smile every time Peridot tried to understand a vague metaphor in English, or stubbornly practising the 'correct' clay-work techniques. Even when she was having a free period in the library and watching the nerd tinker with all sorts of electronics, she found herself entertained for the hour. She was just so _exciting_.

Lapis did, however, find Peridot's presence annoying at times. It wasn't nearly as annoying as most other people, but it was still there. Like the times Peridot would constantly ask questions despite clearly being disinterested in talking and just wanting to sit in silence, or her arrogant and narcissistic flair - Peridot shoving her victories in everyone's faces could only stay amusing for so long.

When Lapis woke on Friday morning, she felt the sudden urge to talk to someone about Peridot. It wasn't to brag or swoon over her, but more of a yearning to discuss what it would be like with more or less interesting people like her in her life. Her mother would listen, and smile about how she'd already found a friend at her new school, but that wouldn't be the conversation she _really_ wanted.

She'd taken a liking to Amethyst too. They didn't talk much, but at the beginning of every Maths lesson, Lapis found herself dropping sarcastic comments about the class and the other girl joining in. But Lapis didn't trust Amethyst - she was the sort of girl to make fun of every little thing you said. As much as she found the girl with the mane of white-purple hair amusing, she couldn't talk about Peridot to her.

And of course, Lapis couldn't have a casual conversation about Peridot _to Peridot_. She ached to ramble on about the blonde to someone in person, but maybe an online friend would have to do for now.

Lapis stretched her arm out, fumbling for her phone on her bedside table. Confident that the cool metal pressing against her fingertips was her phone, she pulled it close to her body, tugging her bed sheets over her shoulders. She smiled to herself at the messages left for her.

_space nerd [10:38PM]: hey which word do you prefer - babe or bae?_

_space nerd [10:39PM]: don't ask why I'm asking, it's just a sudden thought_

_space nerd [10:41PM]: I like bae better. babe sounds too harsh? I'm not sure. bae just rolls off the tongue so nicely_

_space nerd [10:41PM]: that was weird pretend I didn't say that_

_space nerd [10:42PM]: nerd I want a reply_

_space nerd [10:42PM]: like right now_

_space nerd [10:44PM]: did you seriously just heckin fall asleep on me_

_space nerd [10:44PM]: you did didn;t you_

_space nerd [10:44PM]: look. i wrote didn;t. I stayed up this late and now I'm tired and you just leave_

_space nerd [10:45PM]: I didn't capitalise my 'I' either. I must be becoming a rebel like you_

_space nerd [10:45PM]: goddamnit you're asleep. well at least you'll get all these messages in the morning_

_space nerd [10:46PM]: goodnight my winter nerd, I hope the bed bugs bite and teach you a lesson_

By the last message, Lapis found herself grinning madly. _Space nerd_ could never fail to make her smile.

_winter nerd [7:10AM]: sorry i fell asleep babe ; )))_

Sighing contentedly, Lapis found the energy to haul herself out of bed, yawning loudly as she stepped over to her dresser. Grabbing a blue checkered shirt, plain white undershirt, and another black pair of jeans (seriously, she had at least five), she dragged herself lazily to the bathroom and decided, _Hey, maybe I have time to take a two hour long shower_.

In reality she spent less than 15 minutes.

Collapsing back into her bed, basically ready for the day, Lapis whipped out her timetable from her bag. _No music today. Hm._

She offered an apologetic smile to her obviously sentient guitar propped up against the blue wall in the corner of her room. "Looks like you're not coming with me today. Though, it was getting tiring carrying you around."

She imagined her guitar swearing a reply back to her.

Checking her phone again, Lapis couldn't stop the smiles this morning.

_space nerd [7:26AM]: are you serious 'babe'_

_space nerd [7:26AM]: I thought you didn't like emoticons! and you're using them!_

_winter nerd [7:27AM]: i dont like smilies. some emoticons are fine_

_space nerd [7:28AM]: that's great to know :)_

_winter nerd [7:28AM]: u little shit_

Lapis hugged her phone to her chest, daydreaming of how to mention Peridot to _space nerd_. She entertained millions of ways, but decided for a vague approach.

_winter nerd [7:30AM]: i met a girl at my new school_

_space nerd [7:30AM]: oh? there's probably lots of girls at your school so I'm not surprised_

_space nerd [7:30AM]: OH_

_space nerd [7:31AM]: do you like her? are you ditching me for her?_

_winter nerd [7:32AM]: i could never ditch u babe ; ))_

_winter nerd [7:32AM]: but shes interesting. ive never met someone like her b4_

_space nerd [7:33AM]: I would ask about her but I'd probably be overrun with jealousy_

_winter nerd [7:34AM]: shes a smol nerd. rants about lots of things but its kinda cute. and she gets excited over everything_

_space nerd [7:34AM]: so you HAVE replaced me? I'm offended!_

_winter nerd [7:34AM]: ily nerd i could never replace u <3_

_space nerd [7:35AM]: you better not_

Lapis shoved her phone in her pocket - now she felt a slightly better after at least mentioning Peridot to someone. Still wearing a goofy smile, she heaved her bag onto her shoulders and entered the kitchen, finding her mother indulging in her morning reading, as with every other morning.

"Hey Mum, I'm going to walk to school this morning, but could you pick me up in the afternoon?" she called out, already half way through the front door.

"Sure, honey!" Lapis heard her mother reply, despite already stepping outside.

Today was probably going to be a good day for Lapis.

* * *

Apparently she jinxed that. Lapis' good day ended at lunch break - Maths last period on a Friday was probably the worst torture the school could've given the students.

Starting off the day with photography and such in Media was very calming. It allowed Lapis to think clearly and relax, especially since she worked on her own. When her study period came, she watched the blonde mess around with her electronics again. Her friend - Pearl - caught her gaze a few times and shooed her off with a gesture, but Lapis just glared back in return. She could stare at what - or who - she wanted, _thank you very much_.

When Lapis slumped into the stool next to Peridot in Art after first break, the blonde sent her a questioning yet smug look.

"I saw you staring in the library," she announced, a playful smile curling her lips.

"Oh?" Lapis replied. "Are you sure it wasn't Pearl who told you?"

"W-well, that too. But I don't think it's normal to stare at people for a whole hour," Peridot quipped.

Lapis shrugged. "I find you interesting when you're getting over-excited pulling apart a computer."

Well that obviously backfired. Peridot had intended for the blue haired girl to be embarrassed, not herself.

Lapis watched the small girl's cheeks flare as her breath hitched with enjoyment. It wasn't easy to make someone who didn't give a shit 80% of the time blush, but it certainly was easy to make a socially-awkward nerd blush.

"Well, I-I hope you think I'm good at that!"

Lapis snort-laughed (something she despised about herself but let it slide anyway). "What, good at pulling things apart? Sure."

"Shut up," Peridot mouthed, scowling at her paper.

"With pleasure," Lapis sniggered - and she kept to her promise. The two didn't share a single word for the rest of the lesson, and she could see Peridot's restraint every time she went to open her mouth.

When the class ended and all the students made their way to fourth period, Lapis finally cracked.

"Don't ever tell me to shut up again, because I can last longer than that," she commented proudly, contemplating lightly shoving Peridot's shoulder playfully.

"I will make sure to remember next time," Peridot grumbled sourly.

"Aw, Peridot. We have English next, so I'll make sure not to shut up then."

Peridot raised an eyebrow skeptically. "You sit on the other side of the class."

Lapis bit her lip - maybe it was time for her to actually try to socialise. "I'll sit in front of you and Amethyst."

"Really?" Peridot perked up, a warm smile taking over her previous grimace.

"No, I just said that to make you thrilled, then watch it drain away."

"I really hope that's sarcasm," Peridot replied with a hint of fear that maybe it wasn't.

Lapis smirked and shoulder-bumped her softly, noticing her go rigid at the touch. "Of course it is nerd."

The pair arrived at English minutes later, Peridot sliding into the seat next to Amethyst and Lapis awkwardly taking the seat in front of them, shooting the mane of white-purple hair a weak smile.

"Hey Lapis," Amethyst greeted, turning her head to Peridot and grinning almost manically. "You finally made her come over here!"

Lapis raised an eyebrow at Amethyst and shot a small glance at Peridot. "We've been at school for five days."

"Five days too long," Amethyst commented, winking at Lapis for no apparent reason. Lapis just arched her eyebrow higher in return. "So, spill the beans! What did Peri bribe you with?"

"W-what?" Peridot stammered, "I did nothing!"

"I bet you went full nerd on her. Not sure how that's attractive though."

Lapis rolled her eyes. "Right, well, that's my cue to leave and never return to this table."

"Lighten up, LP," Amethyst assured, grinning and trying to laugh quietly (but failing). "I'm pretty sure Peri here doesn't want you to leave!"

Lapis scrunched up her face. "LP, seriously?" Amethyst merely grinned at her, waiting for her curiosity to pique. Lapis' face un-scrunched and she glanced at Peridot again. "Why doesn't she want me to leave?"

Peridot finally caught on to the conversation and flicked her attention back and forth between the two, wide-eyed. "Wait, Ameth—"

"She totally thinks you're cute."

Peridot glared at Amethyst, fighting between pushing the loud-mouth off the seat or curling up in embarrassment. "I never said that!"

Amethyst gave Peridot a cheeky grin. "Relax, I'm joking!" She turned her attention to Lapis briefly, whom was watching the spectacle with amusement. "Nah man, Peri just doesn't want you to be alone."

"Aw, how sweet," Lapis drawled, sending Peridot a mocking smile.

"I didn't say that either," she grumbled, facing away from the two, hiding her blush. "You two are terrible."

And in unison, feigning hurt, they replied, "I'm offended!"

Peridot went to shoot back a reply, but the English teacher interrupted their bickering. "Peridot, this is the English classroom, _not_ your break. Get on with your work."

A moment later and half of the eyes in the classroom where piercing into hers, if only for a couple of seconds, but it sent shockwaves of fear in her body. Whilst Lapis and Amethyst stared at Peridot in shock that _she_ got the blame, everyone else lost interest immediately and resumed their quiet chatter and work.

"Thanks," Peridot sarcastically muttered, shoving her face into her English work. Lapis and Amethyst exchanged a glance, and the former whipped around in her seat to face the front of the classroom, whilst the latter pretended to work for the rest of the lesson.

Lapis wanted to apologise the entire lesson, but at the same time she didn't want to disturb the blonde nerd. It seemed public attention really took a toll on her, though Lapis felt she could relate. She hoped she wasn't mad at her and Amethyst.

When English finished and lunch dawned, Peridot hurriedly left the classroom, leaving a confounded Amethyst and disappointed Lapis behind.

"Damn, that didn't go down well," Amethyst groaned, waving at Lapis. "I'll see you at Maths, unless you want to come sit with us?"

Lapis sighed. "See you at Maths."

"Alright." She trudged off down the hallway, melting into the crowd of students also leaving English. Lapis thought she spotted Pearl and the girl with the giant afro joining Amethyst.

Lapis hooked her bag over her shoulder, lumbering in the opposite direction. She found herself at the secluded earthy area at the front gates of the school, and relaxed into a tree, gazing at the leaves swinging in the light breeze.

Half an hour later, Lapis braced herself with the last period of the week - Maths. Something quite definitely _not_ enjoyable.

When she joined Amethyst in the classroom, it was like everything that had previously happened was wiped off the timeline. The shorter girl plonked into the seat in front of Lapis, sending her a toothy grin as she pulled her book out.

"You know what would be a great idea right now?" Amethyst mused, still staring at Lapis with that goofy look. "Bailing. I mean, who wants Maths for last period on Friday?"

Lapis was honestly tempted. "I don't think we can get away with that."

"You afraid of getting caught?" Amethyst raised an eyebrow mockingly.

"Yes, actually. I've been at the school for five days - don't want to be ruining my reputation with the teachers so early on."

"Who cares about teachers!" Amethyst grumbled unconvincingly as she still had that stupid grin. She threw her hands up into the air for effect. "We have less than a minute to leave."

"I can't believe I'm actually considering this," Lapis murmured, sending Amethyst a wary glance.

Before Lapis had time to make a decision, the other girl made it for her. Her grin widened as she shoved her maths work into her bag, quickly slinging it over her shoulder. "Come on, the teacher will be here any second!"

Lapis glimpsed around the classroom, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Alright, fine."

Amethyst darted out the classroom, Lapis on her heels and hurriedly throwing all her work into her bag whilst simultaneously trying to swing it onto her shoulders.

"Come on!" Amethyst urged excitedly, leading Lapis through the maze of hallways and bursting out the front door. The blue haired girl found herself smiling giddily as the cool breeze swept through her thick hair and bristled against her skin.

"Let's go to town," Amethyst suggested enthusiastically, sharing the same giddy grin that Lapis had.

Breathless, Lapis nodded eagerly, and took off down the road. Amethyst raced after her, throwing her hands into the air and whooping.

When their short race ended on the main road of the town centre, Amethyst caught up to a proud looking Lapis, whilst she panted mildly.

"Damn son," she wheezed between heavy breaths, "you an athlete or something?"

Lapis glanced down at Amethyst, bent over with her hands on her knees, and exhaled. "Nah, but I used to like running and swimming."

"Eh, close enough. Where do you want to go first?"

"Huh?" Lapis squinted quizzically.

"Dude, the shops. You wanna catch a bite to eat or?" Amethyst commented, regaining her breath and shooting a smile at the other girl.

"I don't know." Lapis spun around in a small circle, taking in the scenery of the town. "I don't really come to town much."

"What really? I totally need to take you to the Big Donut!"

Lapis paused her spinning, opting to stare curiously at Amethyst. "I'm not really hungry, but sure."

"Aha, awesome!" Amethyst laughed, making a rough grab for Lapis' arm and dragging her in the direction of said shop.

Lapis groaned, but didn't make a move to yank her arm back, and instead let the over-enthusiastic girl 'lead' her. When the cool air of a store stung her skin, she peered up, noticing she was at their destination. With a disinterested expression, she stared in the eyes of someone else mimicking said look - a spindly looking boy with tan skin, a fluffy ginger undercut mohawk, and large stretcher holes in his ears.

She glimpsed the name tag on his shirt - Lars.

"Oh, it's you," he sneered from behind the counter, propping his elbows on it and resting a chin into his palm. "Come to extort more from me?"

Lapis was about to question whatever that meant (though it did sound vaguely familiar), when Amethyst opened her mouth.

"Chill, I have money this time. Plus, I'm here to show her around." Amethyst jabbed a thumb in Lapis' direction, who's bored expression was replaced with a dumfounded one. "Pass up the six donut special, my man!"

"You better have the full five dollars this time," Lars grumbled, turning around and grabbing selected donuts from the shelf behind him. "Shouldn't you be at school anyways? And who's your friend?"

Amethyst dug her hand into her wallet which seemingly appeared out of thin air, according to Lapis, and whipped out a five dollar bill and slapped it on the counter. "We have Maths last period on a Friday. Ditching it for donuts is a much better idea." Amethyst sent another smile to Lapis, who hadn't moved the second she stepped into the store. "And that's my girl Lappy."

Lapis squinted at her with a disgusted look, but couldn't suppress a snort-laugh. "Holy fuck, did you really just call me Lappy?"

"Yep," Amethyst giggled, grinning cheekily.

"I've known you for less than five days and you're already giving me terrible nicknames and calling me… your girl?" Lapis shook her head, still laughing her signature laugh.

"Gotta swoop in and mark my presence in your life early, yanno?"

"Oh my god, shut up." If her embarrassing snort-laugh was going to end any time soon, Lapis had to retreat immediately.

Glancing at Lars, whom was trying to hide his amusement with fake annoyance, she bolted out the door and lent against the windowpane walls, breathing heavily to regain her composure. Once her breathing became steady, the shock hit her like a tidal wave.

_Am I actually having fun and making friends? Didn't know I could do that._

And suddenly, the snort-laughter erupted again at the irony - only four days ago, she was guarded and zipped her mouth shut, glaring at anyone who came her way, and now she was running off with a 'rebel' to eat donuts instead of attending Maths. This was the exact situation she was avoiding, and yet she got herself caught up in one anyway.

Half a minute later, Amethyst lumbered out the front door of the Big Donut and leant against the windowpane next to Lapis.

"You want one?" she asked, her mouth full of two donuts. Lapis hesitantly dipped her hand into the open box, wrapping her fingers around a vanilla-topped donut.

"It's funny, isn't it?" Lapis questioned after taking a bite of the donut.

"What is?"

"I'm supposed to be a quiet loner. I'm not supposed to have friends, or talk to anyone. I've socialised more in the past five days than in the past two years."

"I guess I just have that effect on people," Amethyst huffed smugly, winking at Lapis.

Lapis snorted a little, managing to suppress her full snort-laugh. "Is it weird that I'm actually considering we could be friends?"

Amethyst feigned shock. "I just bought you donuts and you don't already consider me a friend?"

Lapis shook her head slightly, staring down at the cracks in the cement tiles. "On Tuesday, I completely pushed everyone away. And yet here I am, talking to you and skipping class. I even told you to stop talking to me."

Amethyst thought of an appropriate reply as Lapis slowly finished her donut, sighing as she licked the sugar off her fingers. "Everyone's not really themselves on their first day of school, so it's no biggie."

Lapis hummed, and Amethyst started smiling cheerily as she stuffed the last donut into her mouth.

"Y'know, Peri was way worse for her first few _months_."

"Peridot?" Lapis asked, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"Yeah, dude!" Amethyst jumped off the windowpane, chucking the empty box into the nearby bin and gesturing for Lapis to follow her. "She was like a wild dog! Garnet and I didn't really know her, but she was in some of our classes and was a complete arrogant bitch. Keyword, _was_. Pearl wasn't entirely friends with us at the time, but she attempted to talk to Peri a few times. They _hated_ each other at first," Amethyst chuckled at the memory, witnessing the fights they had firsthand, "but I guess they nerded out on each other in the end. It turned out P-Dot wasn't a bad person at all! She just needed some friends."

"Wow," Lapis breathed, already clicking in the missing pieces in her mind. _So the girl with the afro is Garnet?_

"I kinda think you're the same - you just need some mates to hang out with!" Amethyst continued enthusiastically.

Lapis hummed again, and her mind strayed to Peridot. _Who knew she used to be so… different? She's just a cute nerd!_

"Are you giving Peri a shot?"

"Huh?" Lapis replied, stunned.

"Y'know, she's trying real hard to be your friend."

"Didn't realise."

Amethyst scoffed. "Sarcasm on point, man."

As the pair travelled further down the main street, gazing through the shop windows and looking at the difference merchandise, Lapis pulled out her phone.

"Hey, Amethyst? I should probably head back," Lapis commented, glancing between her phone and the other girl. "I've got a ride."

"Oh, yeah sure! But you still haven't answered my question," Amethyst responded with a faltering goofy smile.

"And… that was?" Lapis feigned confusion, but she already knew what Amethyst meant.

"Are you giving Peri a shot at being friends?"

Lapis smiled softly, stopping in her tracks. "How could I resist someone as dorky as her? Anyway, I gotta go. See you on Monday!" She bolted off before Amethyst could ask more questions.

* * *

Lapis hurriedly threw on her shoes, not bothering to tie the laces up as she stumbled out her bedroom door, throwing a quick glimpse at her phone - 10:10AM. Sure, Saturdays were the prime sleep-in days, but as much as she hated to admit it, she wasn't going to miss her day out with her father.

Even if it meant breathing the same air Jasper was.

She chucked her deodorant back into her room after she sprayed herself, and sprinted through the hallway, halting in the living room as her mother sent her a curious look.

"I heard knocking," Lapis announced breathlessly.

"One would think you're actually excited to see your father," Lapis' mother countered from the kitchen table, reading an entirely new book from the one on Tuesday. "He's waiting in the car. Have a good day, honey!"

Lapis grimaced at the pet name, but waved to her mother nonetheless, and bolted out the front door, quickly patting her pockets for her items - phone, wallet and earphones. With one last glance at her home, she hastened to her father's car, kind of chummy machine compared to her mother's vehicle.

Feeling anxiety twist her gut, she whipped the back car door open and perched in the seat agitatedly. Her father's car was as messy as usual - empty cans and chip packets littered the dirty carpet floor and grey polyester seats, and books of various kinds were scattered everywhere.

Eyeing a particular almost empty bottle of soft drink to distract her nerves, Lapis heard her dad clear his throat.

"Are you ready, Lapis?" he asked in a kind, semi-deep voice, throwing a small glance and shaky smile at her over his shoulder.

"Yeah," she mumbled, crossing her arms and hugging her leather jacket to her chest. Lapis felt the air solidify with tension, and the hairs on the back of her neck prickled.

"Hey Lapis," a throaty voice chimed from the passenger seat of the car, and goosebumps ran over Lapis' arms, despite the jacket covering them from the cool air. She peeked up, staring at the wild dirty blonde mane grasping the edges of the seat in front of her, like it was several pythons constricting the life out of a poor victim.

"Jasper," she replied in a low voice, but kept it steady.

Her father noted the obvious discomfort in the small space of his car, and cleared his throat again, switching the radio on with his free hand as he took off down the street.

"So how have things been for your first week at your new school?" Lapis' father pressed for conversation.

She eyed the back of Jasper's head, wondering to what extent she should boast or lie. "Better than I expected."

"Ah, that's great! Have you met any interesting people?"

That was her father's code-sentence for ' _have you made any friends?_ ' because he knew, despite not living with Lapis, that friends were hard to make for her. Ignoring Jasper's presence so she could at least have a somewhat comfortable conversation, she replied, "I think so."

Her father's eyes concentrated on the road, but his lips betrayed that with a big smile. "I'm glad for you!"

"That's great," Jasper added, sending a soft smile to Lapis through the windscreen mirror. "Better than our old school, huh?"

Lapis ground her teeth, biting back, ' _sure is when you're not there_ '. "Yeah."

_So Jasper is pretending to play nice in front of Dad - perfect._

"So, do tell about these interesting people," the blonde continued, cocking her head to the side and giving eye contact to Lapis for the first time in weeks.

Lapis had to refrain from curling her lips into a snarl, glaring at that one amber-brown eye trained on her. "No."

Jasper arched the eyebrow Lapis could see. "Suit yourself," she replied, tone absent of hostility, and faced the windscreen again.

Lapis absolutely _hated_ it when Jasper acted civil - it made _her_ look like the bad guy, guarded with antagonistic attitude.

She rolled her eyes (for no particular reason, mind you), and plugged her earphones in, leaning against the window of her door and watching the scenery whizz by. Occasionally, she glimpsed her father chatting with Jasper, gesturing with one hand whilst the other gripped the steering wheel. The seat in front of her would rock, as if Jasper was laughing. Lapis sighed - she'd be more sociable if it weren't for the blonde brute's presence.

A little over half an hour later, Lapis watched the greenery of the thick forests dissolve into colourful buildings and slow traffic. Her heart thudded in her chest as she watched the buildings grow taller and taller, and allowed herself a toothy grin as the flashy lights blended into each other.

They had arrived at one of her favourite places - the city.

It wasn't nearly the biggest city of her state, nor the capital, but it was bustling with activity nonetheless. People hurried between stores, buses ruled the streets, and there were sales signs _everywhere_. The country had its own strengths and advantages, but the city would always leave her awestruck.

Lapis ripped out her earphones, giving up on trying to hide her stupid smile. "Where are we going first?"

"I'll take you wherever you like," her father replied, replicating that silly grin she wore. "We can either go together, or I can drop you off there, and Jasper and I can go wherever we want."

Lapis was uncertain to let Jasper tag along to all the places she loved, but she wasn't going to abandon her father who'd come all this way for her. "Let's go together."

"Alrighty! So where do you want to go first?"

Lapis' grin grew wider. "The music store!"

Her father grinned too, and if she could see Jasper, she would probably see a stupid smile on her face too.

"Of course," the two in the front sang in unison, and ended up laughing. Lapis snorted too, ignoring the fact one of them was Jasper.

The vehicle putted along the main streets, quickly arriving at the outskirts of the city centre despite the weekend traffic. When Lapis' destination faded into view, it's colourful walls popping out like neon, she wasted no time launching out of the car milliseconds after it parked.

"Damn, Lapis," Jasper commented with a chuckle, unbuckling herself from the seat seconds later, "You really haven't been here for a while?"

"No," Lapis distractedly replied, forgetting to add her usual disdain into her tone when speaking with the brute. Jasper picked up on this, grinning like Amethyst did, but remained silent.

Lapis stared at the building before her in awe; colours splattered on the walls almost randomly, posters of concerts and events blue-tacked to the windows, and an eye-drawing sign covered in neon lights announcing 'Universe Music'. Last she remembered of the store was black walls with some vinyl paintings, and the sign had no supporting lights.

Holding her eagerness within, Lapis stalked behind her father and Jasper as they swung open the front door. The serenity of the store hit her instantly; soothing indie rock softly playing in the background, refreshing homey scent of coffee and new electronics, and comfortably warm air brushing against her skin.

Instantly, she wandered to the front desk, a smile curving her lips ever-so-slightly as she spotted the messy black-brown mane of the employee and friend she knew.

"Hey Greg," Lapis greeted when the employee registered her and her family.

He willed his wild fringe to move away from his face as he offered a genuine smile. "Lapis! It's been so long! Where have you been?"

"Oh, yanno, busy summer holidays and started at a new school," she mumbled, gazing off at the new releases rack near the entrance. "What about you man? You got into the showbiz yet? And since when did you spice up this old store?"

"Heh, heh, I convinced the oldies to splash some colour," he replied, abashed as he rubbed the back of his neck, but his confidence sprung back. "I've actually got a gig next weekend at the tavern! You should totally come by! I'll def give you a shoutout." Greg winked and started strumming his air guitar. "It's gonna be awesome!"

Lapis smiled excitedly. "I'll see what I can do!"

Greg chuckled, returning back to his humble self. "Well, what can I do for you?"

"Oh," Lapis spluttered, forgetting she was a customer. "I'm just browsing."

Lapis wandered around the store, eyeing the rows of instruments and stacks of CDs, throwing a quick glance back to her father and Jasper every now and then, whom were captured in the new releases isle. Her father stood still with his chin in between his index finger and thumb, gently rubbing his stubble in thought, and Jasper crossed her arms across her chest, scanning the new releases in the rock and alternative stands. Lapis glared at her when she handled a Twenty-One Pilots album.

A couple of minutes later, Lapis' father walked up beside her, and she refrained a startled flinch. "Do you want anything? I can buy you a few albums if you like."

Lapis gave him a small smile. "No, I'm fine thanks."

"Alright, well, tell me when you're ready to go."

"Let me just say goodbye to Greg first." Lapis glanced over at the semi-bored employee, entertaining himself with a less visual air guitar.

"Hey, I'll try to see you next weekend," Lapis stated as she wandered back to the counter and leant against the tabletop, lazily staring at Greg.

"Hopefully!" he exclaimed, sending her a sweet smile. "Alright, I'll see you then!"

Lapis waved goodbye, a warm feeling fuzzing in her chest as she exited the building and lounged in the back seat of the car.

The rest of the day flew by, shadowing her father and Jasper as they went to all the stores they found interesting. She once found herself in the local games store, and allowed herself a small smile at the displays of new games and consoles.

_winter nerd [11:48AM]: tfw youre following your family and end up in eb games_

When the trio arrived at a cafe for lunch, Lapis tried to ignore the grumble in her stomach as she read the messages left for her.

_space nerd [12:13PM]: I'm jealous I wanna come_

_space nerd [12:13PM]: I'm running low on console games and the town's game store is really small_

_winter nerd [12:14PM]: aww ill remember next time to bring u along B)_

Lapis ordered a grilled sandwich, but after consuming half of it, she pushed it away. At her father's questioning glance and Jasper's grunt, she guiltily shrugged. "Sorry, I'm not really hungry."

Some time after lunch, unaware of her surroundings as she was glued to her phone messaging _space nerd_ repeatedly, Lapis noticed the energetic buzz and lights of the city merge into light patches of nature. Shocked that she hadn't realised sooner, she questioned, "We're leaving already?"

"Did you want to stay longer?" her father answered with a question.

Lapis groaned silently in thought. She did want to stay, but there was nowhere else she wanted to go - at least, not yet. "No…" she lazily replied, sinking into the window, her head bumping a little against the glass.

_winter nerd [2:05PM]: apparently we just left the city and i didnt even realise_

_space nerd [2:06PM]: nice one nerd. am I distracting you?_

_winter nerd [2:06PM]: no i like talking to u_

_space nerd [2:06PM]: wow thanks_

_winter nerd [2:07PM]: that sounded sarcastic, u better appreciate me_

_space nerd [2:08PM]: I DO I SWEAR_

Their conversation continued on with a humorous demeanour until the car stood standstill half an hour later. Lapis glanced up, recognising her driveway and home. _Jeez, time goes fast when you're talking to someone._

Hiding her surprise behind a bored expression, Lapis slowly pushed the car door open.

"Thanks Dad, for taking us to the city," she mumbled gratefully, softly smiling at him as he twisted in his seat.

"Anything for my daughters," he humbly replied, smiling sweetly as he opened up his car door and hopped out.

Lapis dropped out of the car, closing the door behind her as she wandered over to her father, quickly wrapping her arms around his upper torso and gently hugging him. She tugged away and waved as her father returned back to his seat in front of the wheel.

As she lumbered up to the front door, she felt a surprisingly gentle hand rest on her shoulder. _Uncharacteristically_ gentle, she realised.

"Hey, are you okay?" Jasper asked, her deep voice almost booming in her ears. Lapis reflexively flinched away from the touch, slapping Jasper's hand away.

"I'm fine," she grumbled, a sneer twisting her features. "Not like you would care anyway."

Jasper scoffed. "If I didn't care, then I wouldn't ask."

"Whatever."

"Lapis," Jasper almost scolded. "I know something's up. Is it… _that_ thing?"

Lapis' skin instantly froze. "Don't mention that."

"I didn't. I just want to know if you're alright… if you're getting better."

"Please, don't," Lapis pleaded, her back still facing Jasper. "I'm _fine_. I'm getting better."

At Jasper's silence, Lapis stomped off to her house, clenching her fists. She heard a faint, "Stay safe," over her shoulder as she slammed the door behind her.

_And now she's being caring? Fuck off Jasper. You weren't caring when I needed you to be._

Lapis stormed off to her room, ignoring whatever was spilling out her mother's mouth, and sunk into her bed seething.

_winter nerd [2:51PM]: u know what sucks? sisters_

_winter nerd [2:51PM]: half sisters. fuck. FUCK ME._

_space nerd [2:52PM]: you don't have to yell at me to fuck you. ask nicely and maybe I will_

_winter nerd [2:53PM]: fuck you_

_space nerd [2:53PM]: you know you love me_


	6. This is Why I Fight For You

This is Why I Fight For You

_Why do I fight for you?_

Pearl shrugged her jacket off her shoulders, as per usual. Despite the cool weather of early autumn, she couldn't deny her love for sleeveless clothing, and opted for wearing a white-blue singlet with a sky blue print of birds on it.

Something told her that maybe she should wear pants at least, as distasteful as they were.

No, she was definitely not fussy with fashion.

Groaning inwardly to herself, Pearl tugged on a pair of ankle length navy skinny jeans - she admired others wearing skinny jeans, but she majorly disliked wearing them herself. They were, of course, the most comfortable of all jeans, but pants in particular aroused disgust in Pearl. Shorts were the way to go (except maybe this time).

Maybe she was overthinking this whole thing. Maybe that's why she was internally fighting herself over what to _wear_.

If she was crazy, Pearl probably would've snapped at herself.

Huffing at her reflection in her bathroom mirror, she tugged her long, pink socks over her ankles and slipped on her pastel pink canvas Vans.

Okay, maybe her fashion taste was a bit out of wack, but at least she wasn't wearing her flats or shorts.

Plus, blue and pink were matching colours, right?

With one last glance at her reflection, and eyeing the unused make-up bag her mother had gifted her next to the mirror, she stalked out of her bedroom before she could regret her appearance.

Grabbing her phone and purse and stuffing them in her jean's pockets, she exited her bedroom and practically jumped into the living room.

Her parents glimpsed at her questioningly, but her mother spoke first.

"Have you got a date with a boy?"

Pearl blushed - _something like that_. "N-no, I'm just seeing a friend. That's all."

Her father piped in. "Well, you look gorgeous darling."

Pearl hid her ever-growing blush by turning away from her parents. "Thank you. I'll be on my way now."

"Okay, I hope this boy is nice!" her mother called out, waving frantically with a cheeky smile. "Bring him home sometime!"

Pearl made no comment and rushed for the front door, slamming it behind her in embarrassment. She would _not_ be bringing any boys home.

Fumbling for her earphones tangled around her phone, she flicked through her music library. There wasn't many songs there - a few classical albums Peridot had somehow found, a couple of orchestral/soundtrack albums, roughly six Korean pop albums, and a few pop songs Amethyst had insisted on giving her. They were all obscene, unclean songs - one of them being Nicki Minaj's _Anaconda_. Pearl frowned at the song, a prank played by her friend. She needed to remember to delete it.

Admittedly, Pearl didn't listen to music often, but today was a special occasion. Plus, the newest album Peridot recommended was _really_ good, ignoring the electronic singles on it.

Sighing as her earphones slotted in, she tapped on a particular song as she wandered off in the general direction of the address she was given.

_Why do I fight for you?_

It was true that Pearl talked to Rose a lot. More than a lot, actually. Whenever she spotted Rose, she would hurriedly leap to her side, instantly sparking up a conversation. If it were anyone else, they would get tired of the act, Pearl knew. But this girl, Rose, never had glanced at her with a tint of annoyance - she _always_ happily listened. And so Pearl happily provided.

Over the years, they had seen each other more and more outside school (albeit, still irregularly), usually inviting each other to the cinemas, or out for an ice cream on the beach during summer, and so forth. But never had they given each other their address.

Pearl blushed at the mere thought of knowing where Rose lived. Of course, she had memorised the address off by heart, even went as far to remember each direction to turn from Google Maps. Perhaps she was obsessive and particular, or perhaps she was just falling hard. Pearl refused to answer that.

Nervously threading her fingers together, Pearl treaded to her destination with haste, hearing the orchestra in her ears attempt to soothe her nerves. The song was on loop, and Pearl was ready to listen to it on repeat for a solid ten minutes. If she ignored the sad truth to it, the song could even make her feel more confident. Maybe.

Ten minutes passed, and Pearl still hurriedly walked in the direction of Rose's house. When the scent of the ocean filled her nostrils and the salty air stung at her eyes, she allowed herself a small grin - her destination was within her peripheral vision.

A small house, a unit even, nestled against the beach. There were many of them, small but spacious in between each, but Pearl recognised Rose's instantly. A tree that vaguely reminded her of a cherry blossom grew in the minuscule front yard, surrounded by other colourful flower bushes, most noticeably the rose bushes. Pearl found it quite fitting.

Lumbering up the driveway, anxiety pounding in her heart, she softly knocked on the front door. Waiting for a response, she twirled around, taking in the full scenery; an empty driveway, mid-length grass curling around the tree and bushes, sandy colourful bricks lining the house, and a dark brown tiled roof. The mahogany door flung open.

Rose squealed in excitement, or something quieter resembling a squeal. Her stunning grin instantly caught Pearl's attention, and she found herself grinning back.

_Why do I fight for you?_

Ripping her earphones out, and in essence, ripping the song out of her head, Pearl tucked her phone away, just in time before she was pulled into a tight embrace.

Pearl froze. With her cheeks burning, she returned the gesture, her skinny arms curling around Rose's neck, heart thudding at the realisation of her counterpart's warm and welcoming arms tightly wrapped around her waist.

Pearl didn't want to, but she pulled away from the hugging a couple of seconds later. She didn't need more fuel for the fire that was her stupidly annoying feelings.

Rose was still beaming at her, but Pearl could only bring herself to shyly smile back.

"I'm so glad you asked to see me today," Rose began, her voice soothing Pearl as much as the vocalist in the song had. Pearl probably was swooning.

Pearl replied sheepishly, "I'm glad too. Someone had to ask eventually, heh."

Rose's grin dimmed into a sweet smile. "Come on, I'll show you around."

Pearl obediently followed Rose through the front door, softly closing it behind her as the girl with the mane of wild pink locks guided her through her home. Pearl found herself staring at the room surrounding her with an odd look - there was no immediate hallway, or master bedrooms - the front door simply launched Pearl straight into a mixture of a living room and kitchen.

To her left was a coffee table surrounded by couches, the biggest one backed up against a wooden slatted wall. Opposite that particular couch was a medium sized television propped up on a small cabinet reaching up to the height of the coffee table. To her right was a small kitchen with beige countertops and a white fridge.

In front of her, the room thinned out into a hallway, which had four doors. Rose beckoned Pearl to follow her, and she obliged.

"This room here is my Dad's," Rose commented, pointing to the only door on the left side of the hallway. "He's not here, but he will be at night. And this," Rose redirected her gesture to the exact opposite side to the first door, "is my room. The other door is just a spare room." Rose gazed down the hallway at the last door, a transparent door showing off the brilliant shore. "And of course, that is the outside door! Now come," Rose softly grasped Pearl's hand, guiding her into her room.

Pearl gazed around the room; the white walls were drowned in posters of all sorts, ranging from movie promos to (rather attractive) celebrities, the carpet was thick and pastel pink, much like Pearl's shoes, and the bed was covered in layers upon layers of soft, white and light pink blankets.

"Your room has so much personality," Pearl breathed in awe, stifling the urge to twirl again to observe her surroundings, and opting to crane her neck instead.

"Why thank you," Rose giggled, collapsing into her bed. Pearl felt her eyes draw to Rose, and couldn't help taking a mental note of how absolutely _gorgeous_ she looked. A simple white knee-length sundress curled around her body, her long pink curly locks trailed down her back and fluttered in front of her attractive face, and warm black-brown eyes gazed into her own as she studied her. Pearl noticed and quickly redirected her line of sight, her cheeks reddening for the millionth time in front of Rose.

"What do you want to do?" Pearl managed to choke out, gaze still lingering away from Rose, fighting the urge to stare into her eyes.

Rose merely patted the space on the bed right beside her, and Pearl finally looked back at the other girl in subtle shock. Nonetheless, she fell onto the bed beside Rose, trying to ignore the tiny smirk Rose wore.

"We can just chat," Rose replied, a small chuckle escaping her lips for simply no other reason than being cheery.

"About what?" Pearl queried. They chatted often at school, and even though there was lots about each other that they didn't share, it wasn't like they were complete strangers.

"Oh, I don't know. What do you do with your spare time?"

"I'm sure I've answered this before," Pearl replied skeptically.

Rose grinned, which was one thing Pearl would always admire about her. It seemed whatever the situation, the other girl was always smiling, and Pearl couldn't resist smiling as well. It was contagious. "Probably. Tell me something I don't know!"

Oh, there were plenty of things Rose didn't know about Pearl. She didn't know about her hobby for engineering, or her homosexuality, or her giant crush on her that's being going on for years. Rose probably didn't need to know about the last two facts, Pearl concluded.

"Sometimes I tinker with my parents' car. I also used to work at the automobile repair shop until it was closed down. I guess I have an aptitude for machinery, which has kind of turned into engineering."

Rose's face lit up. "Ah, yes! I've seen you at the Robotics Club at school sometimes, so I figured that sort of stuff was up your alleyway!"

Oh, so apparently that wasn't something she didn't know. Pearl fidgeted a little, noticing Rose had swivelled to face her, their legs brushing up against each other.

"W-well, I guess that's not a new fact then. I… uh…" Pearl frantically searched for another fact, absentmindedly peering at the posters on the wall, until she registered one of them. A jolt of anxiety, hope and shock combined into one electrified her body, and she felt her skin starting to sweat.

"Can I ask you a question instead?"

Rose cocked her head to the side, observing Pearl. "Of course."

Pearl pointed at the posters on her wall, widening her eyes at the shakiness of her hand. "What are all these posters?"

Rose giggled a little. Starting from the furtherest away from her (which was also closest to the entrance), Rose also pointed. "That one is an Adventure Time poster of my favourite character, Princess Bubblegum. Obviously, we have the same hair." Breaking out into a grin, Rose continued onto the next one. "And that one is a Florence + the Machine poster. My dad saw her live and brought that back for me. That's Tatiana Maslany, that's Natasha Negovanlis, and that's Tom Hiddleston. I haven't watched many movies with him in it, but he's cute." Rose finally motioned to the last poster, oblivious to the agitated Pearl next to her. "And that's the pansexual pride flag."

Pearl almost squeaked. Almost. Panic coursing through her veins, she managed to rasp out, "You're pansexual!?"

Rose flinched, staring at Pearl with a sad eyes, and Pearl felt like she'd kicked a puppy.

"You're not phobic, are you?" Rose questioned, her tone a shade darker than previously. And then she added, as an afterthought, "or do you not know what pansexuality is?"

Pearl shook her head vigorously, definitely at the first option, but Rose gave her a confused look. This time, a squeak did slip out. "I know what pansexuality is!" she exclaimed, too loud.

"Then what's the matter, Pearl?" Rose calmly asked, that stupid but striking smile returning.

_What's the matter!?_ Pearl screamed inwardly. _I was right! I knew I recognised that flag! Oh my stars. Oh my flipping stars! She's pan! She likes girls!_

Pearl's chest twisted at that thought. Like someone was pressing a dagger into the centre of her rib cage, but instead of pain, it elicited shockwaves of feelings. She didn't know many girls who liked other girls; as far as she knew, Peridot was asexual and Amethyst was bisexual. Garnet was… well, she didn't know. There was Garnet's mums, but Pearl waved off that thought.

Realising she hadn't actually replied to Rose, Pearl awakened from her thoughts, cringing at the feeling of sweat covering her body and her cheeks burning like a hot stove.

"Nothing's the matter! I'm just surprised," Pearl hastily answered, diverting her attention to the carpet, watching the strands crawl around her shoes as if they were pink worms wriggling to life.

"I'm surprised you know what pansexuality is," Rose mused, opting to stare at the light on her roof. "I haven't told many people, but everyone I have 'come out' to had no idea what it was."

This fact struck Pearl's curiosity and ego, but also her anxiety. "You trust me with… your sexuality?"

Rose smiled warmly. "Of course."

"So who else knows? Not to be intrusive!"

Rose giggled. "Not at all. My dad knows, he was the first I told. My exes know, but that doesn't matter. One of my online friends also knows. An old friend from way back as well. But other than that, it's just you."

Pearl grinned, proudness fuelling her frame of mind at the thought of being trusted with a secret like sexuality. She puffed her chest out, but it deflated fast at Rose's next words.

"So, how do you know about pansexuality? I'm curious!"

Pearl's right leg started to bounce under stress. "I-I, um, just saw the flag on the Internet."

"And you knew it was a pansexual pride flag?" Rose asked innocently. "I'm glad you know this stuff, it makes it so much easier to talk about it."

"I…" Pearl squirmed, looking at the roof light now. "I know about the f-flag because… I'm… not pansexual." Well, that entire sentence stuffed up.

Rose raised an eyebrow, half-quizzical, half-amusingly.

Pearl mentally slapped herself. Twice. Well, she couldn't go back now. She couldn't leave that atrocity of a sentence as it is.

"I-I meant… I might be… gay?"

Rose burst out into a fit of giggles, and Pearl blushed madly (how shocking).

"You _might_ be?" Rose questioned in between eruptions of laughter, holding her hand over her mouth to silent them.

Seriously, this was a blush-fest. Pearl flushed harder, turning away from Rose entirely in a feeble attempt to hide her awkwardness.

Once the laughter died down, a soft hand fell onto Pearl's shoulder, and a warm breath brushed up against her neck, standing the hairs on edge. "Hello 'I might be gay', I'm Dad."

"Are you flipping serious?" Pearl squawked, jokingly shoving Rose away to the other side of the bed. When Rose erupted into another stage of laughter, Pearl couldn't resist and found herself chuckling heartily as well.

As the laughter began to quieten, Rose edged her way back to Pearl's side, taking on a light-heartedly serious tone (if that was possible), "Am I the first person you've told?"

Pearl nodded vaguely. "Somewhat. I accidentally came out to my friends, but that's it."

"Oh, do tell," Rose replied in an almost mocking tone.

"W-well, I was kinda… staring at someone I liked when my friend Amethyst sat down beside me at break, and she noticed. She joked, "If you're gonna stare so much, maybe you should ask her out," but I was kinda daydreaming and absentmindedly replied, "Probably." Amethyst took that literally and started asking millions of questions, and I realised my mistake too late. Peridot and Garnet had arrived when I told Amethyst that _maybe_ I did like her."

"You have a habit of saying maybe and kinda a lot," Rose commented, a smug smile curling her lips.

"Yeah…" Pearl trailed off. "Um, please don't tell anyone about… my sexuality."

"Of course." Rose stood up, slowly turning around to face Pearl, and extended her hand. "Come, let's go down to the beach."

* * *

Pearl didn't really like swimming, whether ocean or pool, but she loved cruising along the shore, especially when it was with her crush.

Her and Rose spent most of their day after visiting Rose's place on the beach and at the coastline shops. Alternating between the Big Donut, the fast food stops, and the beach was an exhilarating activity in a sense. At least, to Pearl it was.

There were two workers at the Big Donut, and Pearl learnt to despise one of them - Lars, she recalled. He was three times more sour than younger Peridot, which was a huge feat. Pearl would've immediately left the shop after he spat at her and Rose if it weren't for the other worker, a short, plump girl going by the name of Sadie. She was welcoming and nice, even offering a deal for Rose, whom apparently came often.

When the two left for the fast food takeouts later that day, they didn't stay long. Pearl didn't really enjoy food like McDonalds, and the places were so unclean and unwelcoming. After that, they instantly returned back to the Big Donut, but this time Sadie was only there. Whilst Rose chatted with Sadie about probably everything, Pearl wandered outside the store and collapsed into a seat. She found herself daydreaming about Rose, despite the fact the woman was literally 10 metres away from her. It was probably dangerous, but Pearl accepted the invitation with open arms.

In her daydream, Rose and her were sitting at the edge of the cliff overlooking the town - dubbed Beach City by the locals as a joke. The slight breeze ruffled through their equally pink hair, though Rose's was more a vibrant wild mane of curls, and Pearl's was best described as a thick, fluffy, pastel pixie cut.

The full moon blazed at them intensely, the bright light elicited by it landing softly on Rose's face, and _god,_ Pearl had to admire that - admire the way the moonlight danced across her features, especially the way it reflected off Rose's glossy, full lips. Pearl found herself drawn to them, and spontaneously, her hand reached out behind Rose's head, her long fingers tangling in the wild locks and softly touching the back of her neck, as she drew their faces together. Her nose edged up against Rose's cheek awkwardly, but real-time Pearl ignored that, and daydream Pearl urged closer, closing off the gap between their lips.

Something sparked inside of Pearl - like a fire of anxiety and love tearing through the pit of her stomach, only heightened when Rose kissed back, and Pearl found both her arms wrapped around Rose's neck, similar to earlier that day.

And then in an instant, Pearl was in Rose's lap, and the other party's tongue was demanding entry, and Pearl whimpered into it, gleefully enjoying—

"Pearl?" a voice called out.

Pearl snapped awake, eyes flickering around her surroundings as her back straightened against the wooden bench. Her eyes rested on Rose's, whom was curiously looking at her, her face centimetres away from her own, and a blush quickly crept up her neck and flushed her cheeks red. Rose couldn't possibly know what she was daydreaming about, but something about that curiosity in her eyes fading into cheekiness unnerved Pearl.

"Come on, let's watch the sunset on the beach," Rose suggested, a grin overtaking her lips.

Those lips Pearl had just daydreamed about. Suddenly Pearl's mouth felt dry and she swallowed.

She slowly stood from the bench, watching Rose with interest as she skipped across the pathway in the general direction of the beach area in front of her house. Pearl followed, ignoring how her heart was racing at the daydream - perhaps it was bad timing. She'd probably continue it later.

Five minutes later, and Pearl had arrived to where Rose was standing proudly in the sand, wriggling her toes in between the grains. She quickly glanced back in the direction of town, and she noted they were in fact right in front of Rose's house, albeit by roughly a hundred metres.

"Pearl, you have to take off your shoes!" Rose encouraged giddily, now prancing around in the sand. Pearl smiled softly at this. She didn't usually take her shoes or socks off in public, but she admitted the beach was so much better when she could feel the sand in between her toes.

Pearl obliged, slipping off her Vans and mid-length socks, cradling them in one hand as she wandered through the sand. She craned her neck to the sky, noticing the sun beginning to dip into the horizon. Colours bounced off in all directions as the sun made its descent, and Pearl watched in awe. Pinks merged into oranges, oranges blurred into crimson reds, and the clouds stood out like fluffy yellow fairy floss floating mindlessly as the sun shimmered like a brilliant golden cymbal.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Rose observed, her serene voice materialising right next to Pearl, instead of previously in the distance. Pearl glimpsed the other girl standing by her side, her pink locks not obscuring too much of her pretty face, and Pearl had to hold back from saying, "You are too."

"It is," Pearl breathed as she sunk into the sand, still captivated by the spectrum of colours dancing in the sky. A few minutes later of silence, and the sun finally descended down beyond the horizon, the colours fading into hues of dark reds and purples. "Do you get to see this every night?"

"Yeah," Rose purred, "I never get tired of it."

Pearl smiled at that - just like how Rose could never get tired of the sunset, Pearl could never get tired of her. She pulled out her phone, quickly finding the camera app and posing it in front of her, seeing the descent through the camera lens. After a few shots, somehow Rose appeared in the photos. When Pearl hugged her phone to her chest, she realised Rose had crawled in front of her, essentially photobombing.

With a giddy grin, Rose suggested, "We need some selfies!"

Pearl blushed a little and indulged without a word. She poised the camera above her, and beckoned Rose over to her side to join in on the photo. The setting was dark, but not too dark for the two of them to be invisible.

They started off sweet at first, but after a few shots, they poked their tongues out, made silly faces, or posed dramatically over each other, and they ended up in a fit of laughter. They were lying side-by-side in the sand, feeling every grain scratch against their skin, when Rose proposed, "Play the last song you were listening to."

Without thinking, Pearl happily flicked up the panel on her phone, tapping the play button. A second later, and the last song Pearl heard softly oozed out the speakers. Her blood went cold.

It was the song she played on repeat before she arrived at Rose's.

_Why do I fight for you?_

At first, the humming of the vocalist hushed the two of them into a sense of dreaminess. Then, Pearl started making out the same lyrics reiterating over and over again.

_Why do I fight for you?_

The piano tried to lull Pearl, but her nerves, her heart, her stomach, were all twisting with anxiety at the lyrics, even as they faded away into the piano solo.

Pearl heard Rose breathe heavily beside her, and watched her breath float in the air above them, before disappearing.

"Why do I fight for you?" Rose whispered into the cooling night air, and as Pearl rolled over onto her shoulder to gauge the reaction, she was stunned to see Rose softly smiling with her eyes closed.

When Pearl said nothing in return, Rose hummed the tune to herself. "I really like that song."

Pearl was even more taken aback. "Y-you do?"

Rose's eyes flickered open and she thrust herself up, so she was now sitting in the sand. "It's sweet. What's it called?"

Pearl reddened. "For You, by Karma Fields."

Rose hummed again, and Pearl started to sweat. Was Rose figuring out her hopeless crush on her? Panic swelled in Pearl's chest, and she darted up, conceitedly scooting a few centimetres away from Rose. She didn't want to make it obvious, her feelings, though some part of her already told her that she had.

And then Rose spoke up. "You have the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen, Pearl."

Her blush kicked into maximum overdrive. "I-I do? Heh heh, nice one."

"I'm serious."

Pearl finally swivelled and glanced at her counterpart - there was no deception in her eyes. Her smile was soft and encouraging, and suddenly Pearl felt like collapsing into Rose's arms.

Rose seemed to notice this, or maybe the grateful tears threatening to spill out of Pearl's eyes, and captured Pearl in a warming hug without a word.

"You are beautiful," Rose murmured into Pearl's hair, tucking her forehead under her chin. The pair fell into silence, Pearl's arms squeezing Rose's waist tighter with each passing minute, and once again she had to bite off another compliment before it made its way out. This was simply a friend thing, nothing more. Flirting would not be appropriate.

Another minute passed, and Pearl released the tension she had on Rose's waist. Something tender grazed her cheek, and she recognised it as a hand. Rose's hand. Pearl glanced up, patiently waiting for an explanation or _something_ , but all Rose did was cup her cheek. And suddenly, Rose's eyes were too intense and Pearl stared off into the distance over her shoulder, biting her lip anxiously.

It suddenly occurred to her that she was lounging in Rose's lap, curled under her chin, after tightly and desperately clinging onto her, and the awkwardness settled in as her blush returned.

Risking a glimpse at Rose's now intense eyes, she began, "U-um, I think we should go back n-now."

Rose merely droopily smiled in return.

Just as Pearl decided to crawl out of Rose's lap, she felt something touch her lips. _Other_ lips. Pearl's heart leapt out of her chest. It was like a fire had ignited in her heart and was consuming her insides. Combating the butterflies and fire mingling inside of her, she kissed back, smiling inwardly at the taste of berries.

She couldn't believe it. She was kissing Rose Quartz, her crush for just over two years now. _Kissing_. _Rose_.

And stupidly, just to make sure it was real, Pearl pulled away from the kiss, staring deeply into Rose's eyes as they flickered open. Immediately her cheeks reddened brighter than a tomato, and she bit her lip again.

"W-was that real?" Pearl mumbled, more to herself than anything, but Rose seemed to hear.

"We can test again to see, if you like?" Rose purred flirtatiously into Pearl's ear, and her cheeks furiously burnt more than ever. Quickly shuffling into a better position on Rose's lap, Pearl gently pulled her counterpart's head away from her neck, slowly and carefully bringing their lips together.

Maybe Pearl was being too desperate. Maybe. But years of daydreaming could not live up to this moment.

She deepened the kiss, pushing into Rose's body and wrapping her arms around her neck, entangling her hands into the mess of pink hair and gently stroking it. When Pearl's cold fingertips grazed the back of her neck, Rose's breath hitched. Pearl grinned at that.

Experimenting, she lightly bit on Rose's bottom lip, waiting to feel Rose's breathing change, but instead was greeted with her counterpart pulling the two of them closer into each other, her hands travelling up Pearl's spine and grooming her hair.

Pearl shuddered excitedly at the touch, but her heart threatened to claw up her throat when she felt a tongue request entry to her mouth. This was all too much.

She had no idea what to do. Granted, this was her first time actually kissing someone that wasn't a daydream person. Pearl mentally shook her head. Now was not the time for doubts, now was the time to live in the moment.

Pearl opened her mouth, and suddenly, like electricity running through her nerves, Rose's tongue was in her mouth, and her whole body seized up. And honestly, how many times can she blush in 24 hours? Too many times to count. Instead, she whimpered into the kiss.

Pearl decided her favourite thing was Rose's tongue in her mouth, as obscene as it sounded.

Immediately as Rose retracted, Pearl dived straight back in, only pausing for a quick breath as she tenderly pressed her lips against Rose's.

And that's when Pearl noticed it. The feeling that shot down through her body, leaving a tingling sensation of butterflies in her abdomen.

Pearl gently pulled away from the kiss, drawing quiet breaths at the reality of what just happened.

"Wow," she breathlessly commented, drawing her eyes to meet Rose's.

"Wow," Rose echoed, her stunning eyes staring back at Pearl.

And suddenly, a sea of giddy giggles escaped Pearl's mouth, and she tucked her head under Rose's chin, not making any effort to stop the sounds.

Rose joined in on the laughter too, and the two of them collapsed into the sand, arms wrapped tightly around each other.

"That was my first kiss," Pearl whispered into Rose's neck, bringing up her free hand to graze her lips. _And it was real._

"Pretty good for a first kiss," Rose hummed into Pearl's ear. Pearl could sense the smug grin on Rose's lips, and her cheeks flushed. "I'm sure the next ones will be even better."

"R-Rose?" Pearl squeaked, trying to ignore what she just heard. "How did you… know? That I, um, like you?"

"You're very good at being obvious," she chuckled. "Which is good. Now I know I can kiss you."

Pearl flinched, hiding her blush into Rose's neck, but whipped out her phone from her pocket. "I-It's getting late, my p-parents will want me home."

Pearl pulled out of the embrace, smiling shyly at Rose still lying in the sand.

"Going so soon?" Rose showed no signs of disappointment, only an amused grin.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Pearl asked rhetorically, making a grab for her shoes and socks as she sat up.

Rose shrugged, the stupid grin unwavering as Pearl stood up, clutching her footwear in her hand.

Completely unsure on what to do in a situation like this, Pearl rubbed the back of her neck nervously and awkwardly farewelled, "I'll… see you at school tomorrow?"

Rose half-stifled a few snorts, raising herself to her feet as well. She stepped closer to Pearl, one of her giant hands resting on her right hip as her lips grazed her forehead. "Of course, Pearl."

Pearl stared wide-eyed at Rose, spluttering as she tried to spit out a coherent sentence, but only formed a choked out, "Goodbye."

Quickly averting her gaze away from Rose, Pearl trudged off towards the town, knuckles going white as she squeezed the life out of her shoes. If she wasn't careful, she probably would've started hyperventilating right there.

Ten minutes later, she collapsed into her bed gratefully, slipping her shoes off her feet and clenching her fingers around the blankets and sheets as she shoved her face into the cool material.

_Holy smokes. I just kissed Rose Quartz._


	7. Bring the Madness

Bring the Madness

To say Peridot was surprised was an understatement.

Pearl bent her knees slightly to come close to eye level with the smaller girl, sending her a massive yet abashed grin. "Rose… kissed me," she repeated in an excited whisper.

Peridot stared at her counterpart with wide eyes, shock quite literally freezing her to the spot. "And you kissed her back?"

Pearl's cheeks flushed faint red as she bit her lip, either in an attempt to dim her grin or out of an embarrassment-induced habit. "Yes."

"Oh my stars! I-I'm so happy for you! That's great news! Wow, I…" Peridot squealed in joy, stumbling over the waterfall of words spilling out her mouth.

Pearl's blush deepened and she noticeably bit harder on her bottom lip. "Don't be too loud! Nobody else knows," she warned.

"Wow, I-I just… I still can't wrap my head around this!" Peridot eagerly started jumping on the spot, clenching and unclenching her fists repeatedly as some sort of excitement alleviator. "Rose Quartz _kissed_ you. Ki—"

Pearl abruptly placed her index finger against Peridot's lips. "Peridot! Hush," she scolded, but betrayed the tone with a sheepish smile.

Peridot went rigid at the touch, inching a step back from Pearl's finger. Dying down her thrill, Peridot asked quietly, "Will you tell Amethyst and Garnet?"

"I… don't know. I would tell Garnet, but that would leave Amethyst out, and that wouldn't be… nice." At Peridot's skeptical gaze, Pearl corrected herself. "It's not that I don't trust her! I just don't want to be teased… or have it accidentally slip out."

Peridot frowned slightly. "It's a possibility that I could've teased you when you told me, yet you still came to me first?"

"You're the one who urged me to see Rose on the weekend," Pearl chuckled awkwardly, "so I have you to thank for the… kissing."

At the mention of the final word, Peridot broke out into a giddy grin once again. Lifting her hands to Pearl's shoulders lightly, she praised, "I'm so glad things have worked out well for you! I expected embarrassing stories to joke about, but this is actually something really hopeful."

Pearl recognised the gesture as Peridot's equivalent of a hug, and smiled sweetly. "Thank you, Peridot. Though, I have no idea where Rose and I are going with this…"

Peridot retracted her hands, offering a warm smile as she leant against one of the trees near the front gates. It seemed like retreating to the greenery at the front of the school was becoming a habit of Pearl's, and consequentially, Peridot too. Lapis wasn't around either, so that gave Pearl the opportunity to call Peridot over earlier.

"I feel like this may be an appropriate time to say this," Peridot began, clearing her throat awkwardly as she stared at the grass bristling in the breeze at her feet. "But I'm also starting to… question feelings."

"Oh?" Pearl hummed, arching her eyebrows at the somewhat confession. "And what do you mean by that?"

A tinge of red stained Peridot's pale cheeks, and she grumbled a little to herself for putting herself in the position she was in. "There's someone who I'm beginning to question whether my feelings for them are purely platonic or not."

Pearl lowered so she was right at eye level with Peridot. With an encouraging smile, she asked, "Do you mean Lapis?"

Peridot seemed quite surprised at that - mortified even. With wide eyes and a cramped posture, she spluttered, "No! N-no! Lapis? Hah! No, it's someone you don't know."

Pearl looked a little taken aback. "Oh! My apologies, you just seemed interested in Lapis."

"I am not!" Peridot snapped, hunching her shoulders and tightly crossing her arms over her chest. At Pearl's silence, Peridot relaxed slightly, sighing heavily. "It's my online friend."

"You have a crush on a friend online?" Pearl questioned innocently.

Peridot growled, more to herself than Pearl. "No! Not a puny crush. I'm far superior than that. I'm just… merely questioning the extent of my feelings."

Pearl snorted. "That's called a crush, I should know."

"W-well, whatever!" Peridot stammered, crumpling further into the tree. "I regret saying anything. Let's just move on."

"Hey, I'm not judging you," Pearl reassured, brushing her hand against her shoulder softly. Surprisingly, Peridot didn't recoil.

"I've been meaning to say something about it for ages, but I couldn't exactly talk about it with my friend. You're the next person I trust the most."

Pearl deflated the slightest at not being the top person to trust, but she respected Peridot's choice nevertheless. "What did you want to say about these feelings?"

"They're clods!" Peridot half-shouted, pretending to be mad but lost that facade when she chuckled a bit. "They're confusing. I don't understand them. I haven't really ever had questionable feelings, but my friend… she makes me really happy. I think I've grown attached to that feeling of contentedness."

"Hmm, well I know that feeling all too well," Pearl mused, lightly squeezing Peridot's shoulder as a form of comfort, before retracting her hand. "However, I don't know anything about online… feelings. I'm not sure if Garnet or Amethyst can help in that department either. Perhaps ask Lapis?"

Peridot went a little stiff. "Lapis? Are you sure?"

"Well, do you trust her? I know you've only known her for a week, but you two seem to be getting along great."

"I… don't know if I trust her, but I supposed I could ask. For research," Peridot contemplated, humming in thought.

Pearl smiled sweetly. "That's the spirit. Now come, the bell is sure to ring any second."

Peridot obliged, dragging her thoughts away from Lapis and her… questionable feelings. Shadowing Pearl through the school hallways without sharing anymore words, they halted once they reached the area they started to call theirs in the senior quadrant. Amethyst immediately ran up to the pair, Garnet trailing behind with a confident stride.

"Yo, where have you two been?" Amethyst shout-asked, then promptly brushed a hand through her hair. "And; notice anything new?"

Peridot and Pearl stood in awe, their mouths almost dropping comically.

"Your hair!" they exclaimed in unison, shifting their gazes between Amethyst and Garnet.

Amethyst puffed her chest smugly, running another hand through her hair and grinning once her fingers slipped out of the wild tangle above her shoulders. "I wasn't convinced at first, but Garnet believed I would look better with a shorter haircut!" She glanced at Garnet, whom was smiling encouragingly. "Plus, easier to maintain and dye, yanno?"

"I don't know if I regret this," Garnet perked up, her small smile growing as she vaguely gestured at her own hair, "but I agreed that I would do something with my hair too if Amethyst cut hers short."

"Yeah, Garnet went wild!" Amethyst butted back in, whooping and laughing.

Pearl nervously chuckled too. "Wow Garnet, I didn't know pink and blue would suit you!"

"Anything looks good on me," Garnet replied smugly, yet truthfully. Nobody could deny that.

"Yo, Peridork! You gonna say anything or?" Amethyst urged, snapping her fingers in Peridot's face.

The smaller nerd reflexively flinched back, still wide-eyed at the two completely different hairstyles of her friends. Honestly, Peridot wasn't great with change - it always took her by surprise or made her uncomfortable. Luckily, this time she was only surprised; she had to admit both of her friends looked _great_ with their new hairstyles - short, messy bob for Amethyst, and half of Garnet's afro sky blue, the other half hot pink.

"Y-yeah! Sorry, I'm just in shock!" Peridot scrambled for a reply, her voice stuttering slightly.

"Are you swooning over me?" Amethyst teased, bursting out into laughter at her own words.

Peridot snorted. "I'm pretty sure that's Pearl."

Pearl glared at Peridot menacingly, a small blush tinging her cheeks lightening the effect of said glare. "Please, can we not talk about this?"

"Sorry, you're right," Peridot shamefully apologised as the bell rang throughout the school. With a small smile to correct herself, Peridot enthusiastically continued on, "Alright, let's go."

* * *

It was when Lapis collapsed into the seat right beside Peridot that she decided to have a friendly chat, of sorts. And by friendly chat, she meant ask her about online… feelings.

Peridot had swallowed down the conversation topic after discussing it with Pearl Monday morning. With Amethyst in her English class, she knew she couldn't blurt it out to Lapis then - either she'd get awkward looks from Lapis, or unending teasing from Amethyst. Or both. By the time their Art class arrived for 4th period, Peridot no longer had the confidence to speak up about it, and tried to be as casual as possible. Obviously, Lapis didn't fall for it and started asking questions, but didn't pry too far after Peridot snapped.

Tuesday had her nerves on edge, too. Peridot couldn't understand why she was so nervous about asking a damn question. No, wait, she did understand. It was an extremely personal affair, and one that showed weakness. Feelings were all good - or 'all G' as Amethyst would put it - when it was purely platonic, like when Lapis smiled at her dorkiness and she would feel all fuzzy on the inside (albeit, embarrassed too).

Yeah, that was purely platonic.

But when feelings escalated past platonic, then they started becoming a problem - a weakness. Peridot was afraid of showing weakness to Lapis, but logic and reason started nagging at her.

It _had_ occurred to her that feelings weren't perceived as a weakness to anyone else, made evident by Pearl's weekend adventure. Logically, Lapis wouldn't blink twice if Peridot asked for… romantic advice, of sorts. This only soothed Peridot's nerves a little bit.

The thing that made her the most confused was _why_ she was afraid of showing weakness to Lapis and nobody else, so far. Peridot felt a sense of unease at the thought and decided to stray away from that topic.

But now that Lapis was sitting merely centimetres beside her in their final free period on Tuesday, gazing at her with a glimpse of a smile and interest catching in her eyes, Peridot was enamoured by logic and reason, and perhaps curiosity too.

Peridot cleared her throat as she closed her Maths book slowly, fiddling with the page edges and corners nervously. She went to speak, but it seemed Lapis beat her to it (which wasn't surprising, at the pace she was going).

"Hey Peridot, you okay?" she asked, concern etching into her voice.

"Ye-yeah, of course!" Peridot tensely replied, avoiding looking into Lapis' eyes. Apparently, Lapis noticed this.

Leaning over the table and into Peridot's line of sight, she relaxed and gave a small smile. "You're a terrible liar, y'know?"

Peridot quickly glared at her, then focused down on her closed book, watching her hands stress with the paper. She did not expect Lapis' face to appear there as well.

With a startled yelp, Peridot flew back in her chair, a blush tinging her cheeks as Lapis snorted, a grin breaking out on her face.

"You're cute when you're afraid," Lapis pointed out, lying upside down on the table. At this, Peridot reddened more.

"I am not cute!" she snapped, abruptly turning away from the blue-haired girl and folding her arms over her chest.

"Hey, you know what I just noticed from this angle?" Lapis questioned, hoping to spark curiosity in the blonde.

Peridot grumbled something about not being cute, and sighed. "What?"

Lapis grinned. "Your hair looks like a pyramid. You're a Pyramid Head."

"One, my hair is not a pyramid. That would be almost impossible. And if it were, my hair would have many more sides than a pyramid." Peridot huffed, a small smile beginning on her lips. "And two, no, I refuse to be referenced to Silent Hill!"

Lapis flipped herself onto her stomach, sprawling herself across the table and kicking her legs into the air. "I have to admit, when you're trying to prove yourself right, it's kinda cute."

"Stop calling me cute!"

Lapis hummed. "Can I call you Pyramid Head?"

"No," Peridot grumbled, a scowl scrunching up her face.

"Well aren't you fun."

"I try to be."

Lapis snorted, but found Peridot had inched closer back to the table, and gently poked her on the nose. "That was sarcasm, nerd."

"I know that," Peridot deadpanned, before stiffening slightly and swatting Lapis' finger away. "What's with you today? You're all… touchy."

Lapis placed the tip of her index finger on her lips, pretending to hum in thought. "Well, you were all jittery and nervous when I sat down. I guess I was trying to make you feel better or something."

Peridot realised she needed to clear something up right there, but something in the back of her mind intervened. _No, don't tell her you don't like being touched!_

Upon hearing this thought, Peridot frowned, instantly questioning why that thought came. A thousand possibilities flooded her mind, but she was suddenly overcome with goosebumps as she realised the truth. _I want her to touch me?_

"Peridot..?" Lapis asked, her voice breaking through Peridot's thoughts, and she abruptly turned to Lapis with a surprised expression, who had sunk back into her seat. "Honestly, are you okay? I was being weird because I figured you were weirding out on me too, but something legitimately seems up."

Peridot shuffled in her seat - now was the time to ask. It wasn't even that big of a deal.

"Um… have you ever had feelings more than platonic for someone online?"

Lapis reeled back a little, shock evident on her features, but then settled into a curious expression. "Peridot, master of subtlety. Why do you ask?"

Peridot felt sweat starting to dampen her clothes and face. "I-um, have a friend online, and I'm starting to question my feelings for… them."

"Them? Do you not know their gender, or are they non-binary?"

"I-I do know their gender!" Peridot spluttered, and she began to realise the anomaly herself. "They're a… she."

Lapis raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know you were into girls."

"I'm not!" Peridot barked. "They're… _she's_ just an exception." Peridot fully believed this. She had chosen her identity as an asexual, there was nothing more to it. Just some questionable feelings that were put off to the side.

"Right," Lapis sarcastically drawled. "It's totally okay if you are."

"I'm _not_ ," Peridot repeated in a darker tone. "Look, I asked you if you've ever had questionable feelings for someone on the Internet."

"Oh, sorry. No, I haven't."

Peridot threw her hands into the air. "Why didn't you say so in the first place!?"

Lapis allowed herself a small grin. "I was curious."

"You're _terrible_."

"I know right?" Lapis smile grew sly, and a groan escaped from Peridot's lips.

"What happened to grumpy, sarcastic you that I knew a week ago?" Peridot mumbled.

"Well, I like talking to you," Lapis replied honestly, a small smile on her lips. "Do you prefer grumpy, sarcastic me?"

Peridot blushed a little. "No… and wow, thanks."

"You know what else I find cute about you?" Lapis teased, her small smile developing into a cheeky grin.

"Don't," Peridot warned, hiding her head into her hands.

"You blush a lot."

Peridot shot a glare at Lapis, feeling her cheeks heat up at that comment. "You clearly haven't met Pearl! You mention the _name_ of her crush and she reddens like a tomato!"

"Oh, she has a crush?" Lapis pried, a glint in her eye.

Peridot quickly covered her mouth with her hands. "Shoot, I wasn't supposed to say that! Pretend I didn't say that."

Lapis grinned, but dimmed her smile as she sighed into her chair. After a minute of silence, Peridot was about to ask if she _would_ keep her mouth quiet, but she was once again beaten to speaking up first.

"What music do you like?"

"Huh?" Peridot asked, surprised at the sporadic question. "Oh, um, EDM - electronic dance music."

Lapis hummed. "What are your thoughts on alternative rock and indie rock?"

"I'm honestly not sure what those are, Lazuli."

Lapis snorted at the nickname. Ever since she told Peridot that her middle name was Lazuli, she'd drop it in a sentence every now and then. Apparently it sounded cool, according to the nerd.

"It's like rock, but… softer."

"That wasn't very informative, but I suppose it would be alright? I'm not sure, I don't think I've ever heard that genre of music before."

Lapis tugged her phone discretely out of her pocket, and plugged her earphones in. "Here." She thrust an earphone at Peridot, and she silently took it. "This is what indie rock sounds like."

Lapis tapped at Mumford & Sons' song _Little Lion Man_. She stared at Peridot, judging her reaction. She seemed rather okay with the music. Lapis even saw her foot tapping to the beat.

Peridot noticed Lapis' staring and reddened slightly in the cheeks, disliking the attention a little. Lapis didn't get the hint though, and continued to ogle at her.

When the song ended, Peridot immediately stated her opinion. "I probably wouldn't listen to that all the time, but it was enjoyable."

Lapis beamed. "Well, my friend has a gig in the city on Saturday, and he does music a bit like that. Just replace the acoustics with his electric guitar because that song was more folk."

"Oh, that's cool. I wonder what it's like to perform in front of people," Peridot mused, apparently not picking up on the invitation.

Lapis snorted. "Peridot, I was asking if you wanted to come with me?"

"Oh!" Peridot squeaked, astonished and slightly embarrassed. Immediately, she thought no. She probably had study. Or just wanted some alone time. But for some strange reason, Peridot found herself drawn to the offer. "Can I bring Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet?"

Lapis shifted in her seat, frowning slightly, but sighed. She didn't know Peridot's friends well, and although she was opening up to Amethyst at an alarming rate (which, she noted, was the same for Peridot too), Pearl and Garnet were still quite foreign to her. But what could she do? It was a public gig anyways. "Sure, I can't exactly say no. It _is_ a public tavern."

"That's great! I'll ask them tonight!" Peridot replied excitedly, returning back to her cheerful demeanour. "What's the address, and what time do I attend the event? I should be able to make it."

Lapis grabbed a book out of her bag, scribbling ' _Fusion Tavern, 5:30PM Saturday_ ' on a corner and tore it off. As an afterthought, she hastily jotted down her number too.

"Here." She handed Peridot the slip of paper.

As she unfolded the paper and looked over the details, Peridot's cheeks started to colour. "Yo-your number?"

"Call me babe," Lapis mimicked a stereotypical popular girl voice, and burst out snort-laughing at Peridot's horrified face. "It's so you can text me if you can't make it, dork!"

"A-ah yes. Would you like my n-number?" Peridot stammered, mentally slapping herself for the stutter that had a habit of sneaking out.

Lapis nodded, and Peridot scrawled her number down in her Maths book, tearing it out and handing it to the other girl.

Trying to shoo the awkwardness away, Peridot questioned, "So why didn't you bail this period again?"

Lapis barely blinked before she answered, "Like I said, I enjoy talking to you."

Peridot didn't know whether to be skeptical or flattered. But if Lapis liked talking to her so much, then what bad deeds could come from providing?

And so Peridot smiled a bright, glowing smile, lighting up all her features, and shoved the thought of study away as she chatted the entire period away with the girl who happily listened. They talked about their favourite games and new ones releasing soon, and of their different tastes in music, and just genuine conversation about themselves to learn about each other more. Towards the end of the free period, they found themselves talking about art, Peridot more pretending to be grumpy about the class, and Lapis about her love for all creativity.

"So why did you take Art?" Lapis queried, slightly confused as to why such a technological person took part in a creative class.

"I'm not very good at expressing myself with words or feelings. However, I find I can express myself with art," Peridot sheepishly replied, a small smile curling her lips. Lapis found it funny how someone so confident could also be so questioning of herself.

Lapis lent back in her seat and sighed happily. "I can understand that, and I s'pose that makes sense."

"And what about you, Lazuli? Why are you in Art?"

"While I find it relatively easy to express myself with words - although I choose not to - expressing myself with art, music and writing is something completely different. It's like making something out of feelings and emotions without having to explain yourself, and everyone else can feel something too, but everyone can feel something _different_. Art is a _feeling_."

Peridot stared at Lapis gobsmacked, her jaw literally hanging open. Lapis noticed and sent her a smug smile. "Was my speech good?"

"That was more than good!" Peridot exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air for the second time that hour. "You're probably good at creative writing, aren't you?"

"I s'pose I am, though I take pride in music and art first and foremost," Lapis replied, beaming at the praise.

"Have you written any songs?"

Lapis hummed. "Yes and no. I haven't published any songs, as I don't know if I want to go public with my passion yet. But I have a few snippets of songs that I've shown my mum before."

"That's great! I wish I was better at expressing myself - maybe if I was, I could sing or make music too." Peridot smiled thoughtfully as she gazed at the roof, but was interrupted by the end of school alarm.

Internally groaning, Peridot began to sling her bag over shoulder, but stopped halfway as Lapis scribbled something in her book. Ripping out the corner of another page, she folded up the torn piece and passed it to Peridot.

"It would mean a lot if you checked out my deviantART. Maybe you'll feel something from my artworks."

Peridot nodded eagerly, pocketing the folded piece of paper and waited beside Lapis as she packed her stuff. The pair lumbered out the library and to the front gates in comfortable silence until Lapis said her farewells and jumped into a fancy looking SUV, leaving Peridot waiting for the bus.

Peridot was beginning to believe she only needed to _see_ Lapis to feel something.

* * *

Peridot sunk into her bed as soon as she arrived home, ready to take a five hour nap. Her mother had sent her an annoyed glance when all Peridot did was briefly greet her, but let her daughter crawl into her room.

Peridot closed her eyes as the cool, soft fabric rubbed against her hot face, and sighed. She would've slept right there and then, but then her hand creeped its way into her pocket and clasped around the torn piece of paper.

"Oh, yeah," Peridot grumbled to herself, rubbing her eyes with her knuckles. Yawning a little bit, she trudged over to her computer, collapsing into the seat and wiggling the mouse to shake her computer alive. She briefly glimpsed the Skype app pop with a new notification, smiling to herself.

Something nagged at the back of her mind briefly, and she jolted awake. Before she forgot, she jerked her phone out of her pocket and typed a quick message to a group chat.

_Peridot [4:00PM]: Lapis invited me to a 'gig' on Saturday. Fusion Tavern in the city at 5:30PM. do you want to come with me?_

Satisfied with her message, Peridot placed her phone onto her desk, turning her attention back to the blaring computer screen. She opened Skype.

_winter nerd [3:56PM]: u know what ive decided_

_winter nerd [3:57PM]: school isnt actually that bad. or this one isnt at least_

_space nerd [4:02PM]: I've been telling you that for years! who made you change your mind?_

Waiting for a response, Peridot opened up Chrome and un-crumpled the folded piece of paper in her hands. When she first saw the username, she didn't register anything and began typing out the letters.

However, when the browser automatically finished the address for her, she actually studied the name.

She had an equivalent of a heart attack.

Scrawled in blue ink, the letters slanting into each other but clear enough to read, was the name 'WinterStrikesAgain'.

Peridot rubbed her eyes again, blinked, and stared at the torn shred of paper in shock. She brought the paper closer to her eyes, squinting, but the name didn't change. None of the letters magically revealed themselves as different ones, the ink didn't suddenly transform, nothing happened.

Peridot's heart thudded in her chest rapidly, and she could hear every rushed beat thump in her ears like the drum of a song. She physically felt her heart slamming against her ribcage, and pressed the palm of her hand on her chest.

She surprised herself when her eyes became watery and a few stray leaks trailed down her cheeks. Peridot had never experienced shock on this level before.

With sharp, shaky breaths and twitching hands, she finished writing the address, her mind completely blank at this stage.

And sure enough, a familiar page popped up on her browser. Dull and pleasing green colours collided with ocean blues and blacks, the page being minimal but eye catching. The same writing style flooded the boxes, the same icon taunted her, the same name mocked her.

_WinterStrikesAgain_. An all too familiar name.

Peridot's brain suddenly woke up. Hundreds of thousands of possibilities flew in and out of her mind, causing a short-fused headache as she flicked each unlikely option out the window.

_Lapis could've accidentally written down the wrong name._

_Lapis could've misspelt a letter or two._

_I could've misspelt a letter or two._

Peridot double-checked her spelling in the web address bar with that of the scribbled letters on the torn paper. They were exactly the same. She triple-checked. Still the same letters.

_Lapis is not Winter._

In her mental frenzy, she didn't notice the notification on her Skype. Clicking with haste, her hands shaking, she read the message left for her.

_La—winter nerd [4:04PM]: all the people ive met here are so nice. i wish u could be here_

The message meant nothing to her. Just words on a screen with no meaning. Except Peridot couldn't stop staring at that name, a name she'd grown to for a year. Everything felt like a lie, but it wasn't. There was no lying.

_Lapis is not Winter._

Peridot fumbled for her phone, squeezing the damn thing until her hands were paler than ice, and she watched the blue veins crawl up her hand like vines. With trembling fingers, she grabbed the other shred of paper in her pocket, tapping the numbers into her phone. Every few taps she corrected herself, the letters and numbers jumbling together.

Finally, after some effort, she opened her messages and sent a frantic message to her new contact without thinking.

_Peridot [4:09PM]: are you sure yuo gave mr the right deviantart?_

_Lapis [4:10PM]: hello to u too_

_Lapis [4:10PM]: why?_

_Peridot [4:11PM]: it's not working_

Peridot hated lying - not only was she terrible at it, but it made her feel guilty beyond words. She grimaced. She needed to do this, but the evidence was already pointing in the wrong direction.

_She even types like Winter._

_Lapis [4:11PM]: try WinterStrikesAgain [hyperlink]. see if that works_

Peridot bit her tongue hard. She didn't need to click the link to know where it'd take her. This had to be a dream, but Peridot wasn't stupid. Dreams didn't feel as real as this.

She lunged at her bed, crumpling into the sheets and blankets, clenching her fists into the soft fabric. After some time had passed (Peridot guessed 10 minutes), her breathing slowed to just above normal place, her hands shaking a little less as she unclenched them, and she slowly sat up.

The facts started aligning. Both Winter and Lapis started at new schools 9 days ago. Both typed with the same illiterate style. Both coincidentally liked the same games, the same music, the same _everything_. Both had the same deviantART. And both were friends with her.

"No, no, no, this can't be! Lapis is _not_ Winter!" Peridot muttered angrily, baring her teeth and her fingers scraped at her skull. Still mumbling hushed 'no's, Peridot started pacing around her room, stumbling every few seconds. She threw a fist at her wall and had to stifle a shriek as pain shot through her knuckles.

_Lapis is Winter._

"She is not!" Peridot snapped back at herself, massaging her sore hand with a tight grimace.

_Lapis is Winter._

"Stop!"

_Lapis is Winter._

Peridot fell back into her bed. "Please, stop," she cried to herself, her pleas muffled by her thick blankets she'd stuffed her face into. "Please. This can't be."

_But it is._

Peridot curled into her bed once again, staying absolutely still and silent for minutes. She banished all thoughts and squeezed her eyes shut, breathing in the scent of somewhat clean blankets.

After lying unmoving for roughly 5 minutes, Peridot pushed herself away from her blankets, letting the waves of thoughts come crashing down.

_My closest friend for the past year is my new friend at school. Every second I shared with Winter, every time I listened to her vents, every time we played games together, behind it all was Lapis._

Peridot breathed in deeply in attempt to soothe herself. Her thoughts were racing, but her physical symptoms were calming. The shaking subsided, her heart pounded more regularly, and her breathing returned to normal.

_This is something I have to deal with. How do I tell Lapis? Do I tell her? How will she react? Does she already know?_

Peridot returned back to her computer, eyeing the Skype message still mocking her.

_space nerd [4:25PM]: I need to go sorry_

Before she could receive any reply, she shut down the application. She needed to distance herself from Winter - Lapis - for the rest of the evening. She needed to understand the mess she'd been shoved into.

Reaching back to her phone, she clasped the cold metal object in her tiny fingers and instantly swiped out of the conversation with Lapis. There were notifications from the group chat.

_Ams [4:13PM]: hell yeah! im definitely going! fuck school im partying on the weekend_

_Pearl [4:16PM]: Amethyst, please use appropriate language._

_Ams [4:17PM]: dont be such a mom p_

_Pearl [4:17PM]: My parents won't be able to drive me to the city._

_Ams [4:18PM]: im gonna catch the bus. join me p_

_Garnet [4:24PM]: I should be able to make it, who's playing?_

Peridot slapped herself. She had agreed to go to this event with Lapis, and she couldn't back out now after she'd invited her friends along.

_Peridot [4:26PM]: Lapis' friend is playing. I think I'll catch the bus with you Amethyst_

_Ams [4:27PM]: aw yeah! peri's with me_

_Garnet [4:29PM]: I'll catch the bus with you two then_

_Ams [4:30PM]: yo pearl u gonna join us?_

_Pearl [4:33PM]: I might have homework._

_Ams [4:33PM]: o lighten up and have fun!_

_Pearl [4:36PM]: I'll think about it._

Peridot, bored with the conversation and restless at the subject of going out with Lapis, chucked her phone back to her desk. Cowering into the palms of her hands, she thought, _How am I going to survive?_

Peridot wasn't _mad_ or anything. She enjoyed both Lapis' and Winter's company - but knowing that her new friend at her school was her friend of over a year really shook her. And knowing herself, she'd probably be a stuttering mess at the tavern.

Maybe she could get through this. It was only another obstacle in their friendship.

Then a thought made her blood freeze.

She had admitted she had questionable feelings for an online friend to Pearl on Monday. Questionable feelings for Winter. Who was now Lapis.

And she told Lapis.

Peridot groaned.

_This is a fucking mess._


	8. Releasing Tension at a Tavern

Releasing Tension at a Tavern

Peridot gazed over herself in the bathroom mirror, her eyes trailing up and down her body. Her fingers crawled up her torso and puffed out her jacket out once again. Well, hoodie. She was fussing over it nonetheless.

She had noted that her obnoxiously charming green check hoodie probably wasn't the best attire for this 'gig'. Instead, she settled for a dark grey one with a green alien head located on the back with 'Aliens Rock!' written underneath it in a funky font.

Peridot eyed the shirt underneath the hoodie - white with the words 'Don't Touch My Shit' scrawled in an array of bright colours. She hoped it wasn't too much.

Slightly faded navy black jeans clung to her legs, crumpling a little at her ankles where her green canvas Vans slotted onto her feet.

Before exiting the bathroom, she wrapped a necklace around her neck, a small dragon pendant with a peridot gemstone in it's mouth hanging off the silver chain. And of course, she strapped her dorky black and green watch to her wrist.

Honestly, Peridot had never really 'dressed up' for special occasions. She liked her casual, slack clothes - faded and worn jeans paired up with an oversized hoodie - and never really worried about how people thought of her. However, when she was younger her mother would take her to restaurants, usually for business meetings, and was expected to look presentable. Thankfully, as Peridot became more independent, she was rarely dragged along. As Lapis would put it, they were boring as bat shit. Except maybe the food - that was nice most times.

So that was really the only times Peridot had dressed up, and now going to a social event for the first time in years proved that she forgot how to properly 'dress up' - at least it was only a gig and not dinner at a restaurant.

With a satisfied hum and eager nod at herself, Peridot left the bathroom, wandering into her room for a brief second. After grabbing her phone, headphones and wallet, she turned back around. As she passed her packed bag resting against the doorframe, a nervous huff escaped from her lips. It was going to be a long night.

Peridot sunk into the couch opposite her mother, her legs spread wide and elbows propped on the back of the couch. Her mother sent her a vague dirty look.

"Peridot, you should have some self-respect and refrain from sitting like that," her mother scolded, eyes straying back down to the tablet in her hands.

Peridot rolled her eyes slightly. At her stubbornness, her mother sighed.

"But, you do look good enough for this evening. I would've chosen a different shirt however."

A small smile escaped from Peridot. "Wow, thanks Mum. Yeah, I probably would have too if I were you."

Her mother briefly glanced up, a smile straining her tired yet somehow elegant face.

"You know, sometimes when I look at you, all I can see is myself in my adolescence," her mother reminisced.

Peridot nodded. She had seen her mother's youth in photographs - they shared the same ash blonde hair, piercing green-gold eyes, and a long squarish face. And although some of their features were different, they looked very similar. Peridot's messy, wild hair, short pointed nose, and thin lips were the only differences. They were her father's features - or so she was told. There weren't any pictures of her father around the house.

Peridot stared at her mother, watching her gold-green eyes flick from side to side as she read her tablet. "I believe you, despite our personalities being different." She kept her eyes trained on her mother, thought about the evening to come spent with Lapis, and let her mind drift to a childhood memory. "Sometimes I miss Krystal."

Her mother glanced up briefly, narrowing her eyes. "Why?"

"It gets quiet when it's just us at home. Plus you and her were… nice." Peridot shrugged and stood up, stretching her limbs and relieving her mother of the topic. "Well, I'll be heading to the bus stop now. Will you be home tomorrow?"

"No, but I'll see you tonight. Goodbye, Peridot."

"Yeah," Peridot drawled, then made her way to the front door, "see you."

Patting her jean pockets, checking she had everything, Peridot pushed open the door and stumbled into the cool evening. With a glance at her phone, she calculated she had 40 minutes until the gig started, and made haste to the bus stop.

She groaned as multiple thoughts flew into her head about the evening to come. Much like Pearl, she had a habit for overthinking things. Except Pearl didn't overthink _this_ decision she made - or maybe she didn't think _at all_.

On Wednesday morning, Peridot had apparently been sulking around, because Pearl pulled her to the side and had a little chat with her. Peridot couldn't lie, so she mentioned that she didn't know how or what to think about Lapis. She was vague, but it wasn't a lie.

Then at first break on Wednesday, Pearl finally invited Rose to their group. Garnet and Amethyst were apparently well acquainted with the taller woman, as they easily got along with her. Peridot was pleased for Pearl and Rose, but her sour attitude showed every now and then.

It also occurred to her that maybe she should've invited Lapis to sit with them again, but she wasn't in the mood, and was very nervous about conversation with her.

Rose didn't stay with them every break for the 3 days left of the week, but she joined half of the time. It was on Thursday that Pearl had the brilliant idea to invite Rose to the gig. With flushed cheeks and a skittish smile, she asked the pink haired 'sweetheart' to the event on Saturday evening. Rose immediately accepted, and things were easily arranged. Pearl and her probable girlfriend, Garnet and Amethyst as the party duo, and Peridot and Lapis. If they were going in pairs, that is. Not that Peridot would want to be paired with Lapis at the moment.

As if the current arrangement wasn't awkward enough for Peridot (hint: spending two or more hours with her simultaneous secret close friend and teasing acquaintance that she had questionable feelings for at a social scene), Rose had her own marvellous idea. With a giddy grin, she asked everyone if they wanted to stay the night at her beach house. And if not… she then whispered something in Pearl's ear and the spindly girl blushed a bright red.

Amethyst was the first to agree, jumping on her chair and raising her fist in the air with a whoop. Garnet crossed her legs, and with an amused smile, hummed and said that it was a great plan. Pearl and Rose turned their attention to Peridot, whom was slumped onto the table, pretending not to listen.

"If you're coming, you should ask Lapis," Pearl encouraged, a small smile on her lips.

Peridot instantly wanted to say no to both proposals. But like when Lapis asked her to the gig, she couldn't resist for reasons unbeknownst to her. Plus, she didn't really want to be left out.

With an irritated sigh, she agreed. And so she spent the entire Thursday fretting over talking to Lapis, but in the end sent her a text after school. Lapis' reply was quick - "I'm up for that."

For the whole Friday, and partial Saturday, Peridot was annoyed by Pearl's quick thinking. She'd told her that she felt somewhat uncomfortable around Lapis, and yet the taller girl urged her to tag along _and_ bring the blue haired girl to this 'sleepover' or whatever.

If Peridot was honest (which she always was), she felt like she was having an unending heart attack. She wasn't riddled with anxiety like Pearl was, but she was certainly feeling it as she trudged to the bus stop. What would happen tonight? Would she open her cocoon and tell Lapis what she knew? Would she lose her closest friend?

Peridot shook her head, and made haste to the bus stop.

When she arrived, Garnet was leaning against a beam of the bus shelter, her arms loosely crossed over her chest, and Amethyst was sprawled across the shelter bench, her arm hanging off the edge. In the distance, she could see a blurry Pearl and Rose walking towards them.

Peridot instantly noticed their attires - Garnet's was a little more dressy, whilst Amethyst seemed almost as casual as she was. Garnet donned a short black leather jacket, a loose v-neck with red and purple patterns, and black leather pants with ankle high boots. Blue and pink tinted shades rested over her eyes, matching with her hair. Amethyst wore black ripped jeans, a fashionably torn white tank top, black boots, and lots of arm jewellery.

"Yo, P-Dot!" Amethyst hollered, lunging at the other small girl and dragging her down onto her lap. Peridot yelped, hugging her knees to her chest as she got comfortable on Amethyst's lap, and sent her a soft glare.

"Why would you do that?"

Amethyst sent her a toothy grin. "Well, you aren't protesting."

"Ugh, clod," Peridot half-heartedly insulted as she scrambled out of her lap. As she got back to her feet, Garnet messed up her already messy hair with her hand. Peridot jumped at the touch.

"Why are you clods touching me?" she snapped. Amethyst burst out laughing, whilst Garnet covered a quiet snicker with her other hand.

"Dude, Lapis was right!" Amethyst choked out between giggles and snorts.

"Yeah she was," Garnet confirmed, smiling smugly at Peridot.

Peridot glanced at Amethyst, then Garnet. "What? What did she tell you!?"

"You get so flustered when people touch you! It's super funny man," Amethyst answered, jumping up from her seat as Pearl and Rose arrived at the shelter.

"What's funny?" Pearl asked, curiosity sparking in her eyes.

"P-Dot gets super flustered when people touch her."

Pearl rolled her eyes. "As if we didn't already know that."

The new pair were thankfully dressed casually - Peridot didn't want to seem like the odd one out. Pearl wore a light blue singlet with a white star printed on the chest, dark blue high rise jeans, long pastel blue socks, and her normal pastel pink Vans. Rose wore a pink dressy shirt with a white lion face print on it, white jeans, and a generic pair of pink shoes similar to Pearl's.

Ignoring Amethyst's comment, Peridot greeted the new arrivals. "Hey, Pearl, Rose."

Pearl glanced over Peridot's shoulder, a gleam in her eye, and asked, "Where's Lapis?"

Peridot shot a glare at Amethyst, who broke out into snickers on the bench. "She should be here soo— ah!"

The blonde stifled a scream as cold hands poked her waist, essentially tickling her, then wrapped around her belly. A soft whisper sent shivers down her neck. "Hey cutie-dot."

Instantly, Peridot jolted away from the person behind her. "Lapis! Don't do that! And don't call me that!"

Lapis broke out into snort-laughter, crippling over and pointing at the smaller girl. "Oh my god, you should see your face! You're such a small anger bean!"

Amethyst wheezed beside Peridot and also pointed at her. "Look, she's blushing!"

"Enough," Peridot grumbled, clenching her fists, and staggered behind Pearl for some sort of protection. Even Rose was beaming at her when she retreated.

"Aw, you're so adorable! I wish I knew you earlier," she complimented as she tried to bend down to Peridot's height.

"I'm not adorable," Peridot mumbled.

Rose's grin didn't falter, but she stood to her full height as the bus pulled on to the street. As the vehicle parked in the bay, Peridot pretended to ignore the way her heart still thumped in her chest from the scare - if she was being honest, she would've been less scared if it was a stranger. Lapis was a… touchy subject. Quite literally too, as she brushed against Peridot. The blonde recoiled.

"Hey, are you okay?" she muttered to Peridot, a concerned smile twitching her lips.

She watched her friends board the bus, and made her way too, Lapis trailing behind her. "I'm good."

Lapis' smile faltered, and Peridot wasn't sure what that meant. She watched the taller girl, her blue hair bristling against her slightly freckled skin, and then the smile disappeared altogether. Lapis glanced warily at Garnet and Pearl, and Peridot realised that she wasn't entirely comfortable around her friends. Maybe it was a bad idea inviting them along.

Her friends sat along the back row of seats, and Peridot took the seat in front of them to their left. As she slid against the window and stared outside, she heard a sigh, and turned around slightly to see Lapis sinking into the seat next to her. Peridot edged over a little to make room, not that it was necessary with how small she was. Once again, she studied Lapis, the way she cautiously glimpsed between Garnet, Pearl and Rose, and the way her lips also curved into a sad smile.

"You're staring," Lapis deadpanned without bothering to look at Peridot.

Peridot flinched into the corner of her seat. She needed to realise when she was staring at people earlier than they did, but she couldn't help herself. She couldn't get that one dangerously emotional thought out of her head every time she'd seen Lapis since Tuesday - _she's Winter._

Despite flinching back, Peridot didn't stray her eyes elsewhere. "S-sorry," she stuttered, eyeing her clothes. Out of all of them, Lapis was the most casually dressed, maybe even more than herself. She wore ripped black skinny jeans, white and black check shirt, and her blue Converses. The blue stud in her nose wasn't removed either. "Why are you dressed so casually?"

"Why are you all dressed so well?" she retorted, but snorted. "I know Greg - the musician - and I know the tavern. I know casual - or wacky - is their style."

"Oh, I wish I knew that, I would've been more comfortable in casual clothes."

Lapis snorted again, rolling her eyes slightly for emphasis. "You _are_ wearing casual clothes."

Peridot was about to argue, but knew she was right. She finally ripped her gaze away from Lapis and opted to stare out the window, watching the sun make its descent in the sky. The array of colours painted across the sky distracted her for a while, until Lapis sighed once again.

"Peridot, I'm not a fool. What's wrong? Something's up."

The blonde shivered, feeling goosebumps rise on her arms despite being under her hoodie. She knew this time they didn't arise from the cold.

"It's okay," she half-lied, switching her stare from the window to the back of the seat in front of her.

"No, it's not." Peridot glanced back up to Lapis, and felt a twinge of pain in her chest at the other girl's wobbly smile. "Like I said, I'm not dumb. Ever since Tuesday, you've been trying to avoid me."

_Shoot, did I make it that obvious? Oh my stars, she looks hurt._

It was technically true, but Peridot was going to try her best to assure without lying.

"T-things have been kinda weird lately! I-I-I mean, not you! I just discovered something that… made me uncomfortable, and-and-and…"

"What did I do?" Lapis whispered hoarsely, so quiet Peridot barely caught it. When she deciphered the words, the pain in her chest twisted more. Instantly, she reached her hand out to Lapis' arm, her fingers ghosting over her skin. Lapis expression settled into something grave, something like her expression on her first day at school.

"You didn't do anything, I swear! I'm just… just trying to figure m-myself out. I-I just needed some space."

Lapis sucked in a deep breath, her eyes fluttering closed. When she opened them, she gave Peridot another wobbly smile. "Please tell me you're not lying."

Peridot stared at her, her soft green eyes focusing too intensely on Lapis. "I'm not lying. I'll try to explain myself in the future."

After a hesitation, Lapis muttered, "Thank you." Her right hand floated on top of Peridot's, which was still ghosting her left arm, and gently pressed her palm against the other girl's hand. Her cold hand craved the warmth from the smaller one under hers, and so she tucked her fingers around it.

Peridot froze. Lapis had moved her gaze elsewhere, which she was thankful for because she felt her cheeks heat up. With some amount of reluctance, she flipped her hand around and clasped Lapis' - she needed reassurance. Following Lapis, she stared elsewhere too, opting for the colours dancing in the sky as the sun travelled further down.

"Aw, look at the lovebirds!" Amethyst cooed as she leant over Peridot's seat, her arms hanging over her shoulder. Immediately, Peridot stole her hand back, tucking it in her hoodie's pocket with a sour expression.

Amethyst feigned a dejected frown. "I didn't tell you guys to stop!"

"Peri is the one who pulled her hand away," Lapis countered as she whipped around in her seat, her back leaning against the seat behind her. "And I think those two are the lovebirds." She vaguely pointed at Pearl and Rose, the former snuggling into the latter's shoulder.

"Shit, you're right! Maybe they got together…"

Peridot watched Lapis' small, sad smile evolve into a mocking grin, and she felt herself smiling too.

_She called me Peri._

Maybe things were going to be okay.

* * *

They arrived at Fusion Tavern right on 5:30PM.

Peridot observed Lapis keeping her distance from the rest of the group. Pearl and Garnet were happily chatting away at the front of the 'line', Amethyst and Rose behind them, and Lapis stayed close to Peridot.

"Hey," Peridot spoke up, nudging Lapis' shoulder (which was kind of hard, considering how small she was), "if you're staying with us at Rose's beach house, you might want to get to know my friends better. Who knows, maybe you'll call them your friends eventually."

The blue haired girl gave Peridot a slight nervous smile. "Thanks. Come on, I'll show you Greg."

The pair trailed into the tavern last, noticing Pearl and Garnet searching for a suitable table, and Amethyst and Rose introducing themselves to an abashed Greg.

Lapis lumbered over to the musician, Peridot shadowing her, and his face lit up as she lightly punched him in the arm.

"Universe, it's good to see you!" Lapis greeted, a playful smile tugging her lips.

"Lapis! You made it!" Greg welcomed excitedly, rubbing his arm in mock pain. "Have you grown stronger in one week?"

Lapis flexed her arm, her playful smile growing into a toothy grin. "Yeah, I've been working out."

Greg flashed his own grin at Lapis, then rolled his eyes towards Amethyst and Rose whom had fallen silent at Lapis' introduction. "Are these guys friends of yours?"

"Well… they're actually my friend's friends." She gestured towards Peridot cowering behind her. "This is Peridot. Peridot, meet Greg. Universe, meet Small Nerd."

Peridot scowled at Lapis' means of acquainting her with Greg, but the expression quickly faded into a flustered one. With an awkward wave, she muttered, "Hi."

There was a cough beside Peridot, and Amethyst waved more enthusiastically. "Yo Music-man, I'm Amethyst! Can't wait to hear your jams tonight!"

Greg's nervous smile returned. "Ah, th-thanks!" As a confident afterthought, he added, "I"m going to rock your night!"

Rose giggled, and introduced herself. "Greg, is it? My name's Rose. I do hope your show rocks!"

"Heh heh, thank you." Greg's cheeks flushed slightly red, and he scratched the back of his neck. "Well, I'll be starting soon, so I need to go now!"

"Alrighty Music-man! Blow my socks off!" Amethyst called out as the shy man ran a hand through his brown mane and took off to the stage to prepare.

"He's seems like a sweet guy," Rose commented after he left, a curious and sweet smile curling her lips.

"Who seems like a sweet guy?"

Rose glanced down, feeling a tug on her arm, and saw Pearl latched onto her arm protectively, and laughed lightly. "The musician, Mr. Universe."

"Hmph." Pearl tightened her grip on Rose's arm, squinting at the musician preparing his show on the stage.

"I think someone's a little jealous," Amethyst whispered loudly into Peridot's ear, smirking as she noticed Pearl glaring at her. Apparently she heard that.

"I'm not jea—" Pearl's sentence halted as Rose bent down and gently pressed her lips against her forehead. As she pulled away, Pearl's cheeks flushed a bright red. "—lous…"

"Better?" Rose asked with an amused smile. Pearl stared at her feet, then without saying a word, hurriedly walked away to the table Garnet had chosen.

Amethyst broke out into a few hearty laughs. "Oh man Rose, you're smooth A-F!"

"Oh, I know," she hummed, then signalled for the rest of them to follow her.

Lapis warily followed her, waiting for Amethyst to do so first, and glanced down at Peridot, whom was beginning to relax. "Your friends are pretty alright."

"Yeah…" the blonde trailed off, gazing at the back of Amethyst's head.

Lapis arched an eyebrow. "Dude, you okay?" she asked as she snapped her fingers in front of Peridot's face.

Peridot blinked in surprise, but pushed past Lapis' hand and sunk into the middle chair of one side of the table. "Yes, I'm fine. Just… thinking."

Lapis' eyebrow arched further. "About what?"

Peridot rolled her eyes as Lapis collapsed into the chair beside her. "None of your business, Lazuli." She certainly wasn't ready to admit what Rose kissing Pearl's forehead made her think of.

"Sure, sure," she deadpanned, her expression neutralising. "Alright, I'm ordering drinks and food if you want any. Can you ask your friends if they want anything?"

"Guys, you want anything?" Peridot asked, raising her voice.

"I just ordered cokes for all of us and a couple of bowls of chips," Garnet intervened as she took her seat next to Pearl, directly diagonal to Lapis. "But thank you for the offer Lapis."

Lapis frowned, wondering how Garnet knew she was actually asking and not Peridot. Apparently Peridot was confused as well because she threw a glimpse at her, and then at Garnet. The girl with the afro remained silent.

"Ri-ght," Lapis drawled, leaning on the palm of her hand and watching Greg saunter up to the microphone.

Peridot surveyed Lapis curiously, but remembered the whole staring thought she had earlier and redirected her gaze to Amethyst who sunk into the chair beside her and in front of Garnet. "What do you think of the musician?"

"I dunno, but I hope he rocks tonight!" she exclaimed, emphasising her words with a fist pump. "I'm ready for a party!"

"We really don't need any parties tonight," Pearl stated saltily, faking a frown at Amethyst's enthusiasm. "But maybe he'll 'rock', who knows?"

"You're just jealous that your girlfriend called him sweet," Amethyst bit back, a smug smile tugging her lips.

Pearl looked like she was about to seethe, but bit her lip and held whatever denial she was going to say.

Before another conversation could arise, the microphone at the stage buzzed to life.

"Hey guys, I'm Greg Universe, and I'm going to rock your night tonight!" Greg's voice boomed through the speakers around the tavern, and a few tables cheered on. He kicked into slow rock for his first song, a cover of _Do I Wanna Know?_ by the Arctic Monkeys. One of his crew manned the drums behind him, and another clasped onto a bass guitar as he strummed his electric guitar and sang into the mic.

Peridot was contentedly watching the musician and his backup perform that she didn't notice the hand settling down the drink in front of her until it drew back. She recoiled a little in surprise, throwing a quick look at the waitress leaning over her shoulder. She towered over the blonde, her own ash blonde hair tied into a ponytail and trailing down her back. Peridot glimpsed the name tag - Opal.

_How many more people am I going to meet named after gems!?_

A bowl of chips was placed at both ends of the table, and Peridot absentmindedly reached for a handful as Greg finished up his first song. Like a cliché, her hand flinched back as it grazed Lapis', and she mentally slapped herself as she stuffed a chip into her mouth. Lapis sent her funny look but didn't say anything.

Greg jumped into his second song with the line, " _'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars._ " He swapped his electric guitar for his worn yet loved acoustic, and someone else played the keyboard. The audience cheered louder as the song kicked into the chorus, and Peridot found herself clapping along and smiling. She eyed Lapis enthusiastically clapping her hands too, and Amethyst restraining herself from whooping. Even Pearl seemed like she was enjoying herself, even though she was staring at Rose most of the time.

After his second cover finished, Greg took a breather and grabbed his electric guitar again, and the crew behind him took their positions with their instruments.

"Now, this is my first original song for the night, _Just a Comet_! I hope y'all are having a blast!" he hollered, a huge grin on his face.

He started strumming his guitar, and as he sang the first lines, the audience stood up, some even whooping like Amethyst. Peridot stayed seated, content with watching the show from the height she was at, but Amethyst jumped onto her seat, and Lapis, Rose and Garnet stood.

Peridot probably wouldn't admit it, but she was enjoying the gig much more than she thought she would, and it seemed the same for Pearl too. The peach-pink haired girl perched in her seat, trying to hide her stupid smile every time someone glanced at her, but it kept coming back.

As Greg ended his song, falling to his knees dramatically on stage, the crowd burst into cheers and shouts. Peridot even found herself cheering along.

_This guy is good!_

As he started his fourth song, a cover of Eskimo Joe's _Black Fingernails, Red Wine_ , Lapis gave Peridot an odd smile and offered her hand. Peridot, though confused and hearing her heart thump in her ears, accepted the gesture and placed her hand in Lapis'. She wasn't expecting to be tugged off her seat and into the small crowd forming in front of the stage.

As soon as Lapis stopped, someone bumped into the back of her and she reflexively whipped around, calming upon knowing it was only the rest of her friends joining. Pearl looked annoyed for being dragged along, but as soon as Garnet started dancing against her, she couldn't suppress the laughter and joined in too. And soon, everyone was vaguely dancing except Peridot, her hand still clasped in Lapis'.

"Come on, dance with me," Lapis urged, her small smile growing.

"I don't dance," Peridot stubbornly replied, stealing her hand back and crossing her arms. She yelped as someone behind her gently pried her hands away from her chest, catching one of them and spinning her around. Peridot tripped over her feet and growled as she smacked into the body of the other person.

"Surprise," they light-heartedly deadpanned.

"Garnet!" Peridot snapped, pushing herself away from the other girl and dusted off her clothes out of an embarrassment-induced habit. "Warn me next time!"

"Lighten up, Peri," Amethyst teased as she leant her back against Peridot's. "You gotta have fun and dance!"

"Ugh, fine!" she mumbled, and half-heartedly began tapping her feet and waving her arms around in the air in a weird attempt to dance. Lapis began snort-laughing, and Peridot took that as her cue to leave, but as she turned away, a hand held her back.

"No, don't go! I'm sorry," Lapis apologised, offering a warm smile. "Just… be you."

Peridot scowled, but continued her awkward dance until the song finished. Without another word, she made her way back to the table, collapsing into her chair once again. She hated dancing, but that wasn't too bad, despite the teasing. (Who was she kidding; it was the worst).

Lapis followed suit, sinking into her own chair. "Are you having fun?"

"I don't like dancing," Peridot stated, but a smile curled her lips, "but yes, I am having fun. Greg's a good musician."

"I'm glad you like him."

Silence probably would have followed if Amethyst and Garnet didn't come back to the table.

"Yo, Peri! You're not half bad out there on the dance floor!" Amethyst complimented with a toothy grin.

"Thanks," Peridot replied sarcastically, but a small blush tinged her cheeks. "But I think Garnet stole the dance floor."

"Oh, no doubt," Garnet smugly appraised herself.

"Wai-ta-minute," Amethyst slurred, throwing glances around the tavern. "Where's P and Quartz?"

"Amethyst, don't go looking for them," Garnet warned.

"Pearl's probably tryna make out with her anyways, don't wanna intrude on her 'funky flow'." At everyone's silence, she continued on. "I mean, have you _seen_ them? They were basically cuddling on the bus, Rose kissed Pearl's head, and Pearl didn't deny Rose being her girlfriend! They're totally dating!"

Lapis fidgeted in her seat. "Right, well. I'm gonna order more drinks, you guys want anything?"

"Yeah," was the collective answer around the table, and Lapis took to her feet and wandered to the bartender.

Peridot followed out of curiosity, but as she left her seat she heard Amethyst say, "Wanna make a bet?"

"Hey, Sardonyx," Lapis greeted as she arrived at the counter.

Peridot inwardly groaned. _Another gemstone?_

The bartender was another tall woman, but this time she had mild dark skin like Garnet's, and wore a black tuxedo coat, giant red bow tie, and shades almost bigger than her face. Peridot also noticed that her hair was very similar to own, albeit less messy. Peridot now understood what Lapis meant by wacky fashion.

With a dorky grin that reminded Peridot of her own, Sardonyx replied, "Hello Lapis! Who's your little friend?"

Peridot blushed a little, embarrassed about being called the 'Little Friend'. Lapis sent her a small smile.

"This is Peridot. Peri, meet Sardonyx."

The bartender leant over the counter, trying to come close to eye level with Peridot. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Peridot!" She offered her hand out to shake, and Peridot awkwardly took it. She'd never experienced a greeting like this before. "I am the lovely Sardonyx, how are you doin' tonight?"

"Oh, uh…" Peridot flustered, "I'm good?"

"That's great to hear!" The bartender then laughed heartily in a way that sounded like Santa's laugh sped up and higher pitched - at least to Peridot. She then turned her attention back to Lapis. "She's a cute one, isn't she?"

Peridot felt fury bubble inside her, and grumpily mumbled, "I'm not cute."

"Yeah, I guess she is," Lapis answered, ignoring Peridot's protest and smiling smugly at her shamefully hiding her face.

"Well, what are you ordering tonight dear?"

"Just another round of four Cokes."

Sardonyx flashed a grin. "Coming right up!"

The bartender somehow managed to make the process of pouring soft drink into a cup _elegant_. In a way, it reminded Peridot of how Pearl made everything seem so effortless and easy. Except this woman had the ego of… well, herself. Peridot was 90% sure when she was younger she boasted about herself this much.

Sardonyx gave two drinks to Lapis and two to Peridot. "Here you go! Are you enjoying the show Lapis? Mr. Universe is doing well tonight!"

"Yeah, definitely," Lapis confirmed. "I'll see you around, Sardonyx!"

The pair arrived back at the table and placed the drinks on the table, but realised they were now short. Pearl's entire face was flushed red as she slightly leant against Rose's shoulder.

"I'm not even gonna ask what's made her so red," Lapis stated, gesturing vaguely at Pearl. This somehow made Pearl's blush brighten.

"We didn't know where you guys were, so we didn't order any drinks for you," Peridot awkwardly added in. "Sorry."

"They're both lying, we all know Pearl was tryna flirt her way into Rose's heart," Amethyst teased, smirking at Pearl and taking a sip of her drink.

"Amethyst!" Pearl quietly screeched, crossing her arms tightly across her chest.

Rose giggled beside her, tucking her hands in her lap. "Well, she's not wrong."

Pearl flicked her attention back to Rose, surprise etched on her face. "Rose!" she squeaked. At that, everyone at the table burst into laughter - even Peridot couldn't hold in the 'nyeh heh heh' laugh.

The song that was playing in the background faded away, and Greg fumbled with the microphone. "I'll be back shortly, so stay tuned!"

The group returned back to it's usual chatter and teasing, but Peridot watched Lapis watching Greg stumble over to them. A few people from the crowd congratulated him, but he finally made his way over to the table, nervously running a hand through his hair, tucking a few stray hairs behind his ear. Peridot was enamoured with the way he could be so confident on stage yet so humble and abashed in person.

Lapis immediately sprung to her feet. "Greg, that was amazing!"

"I-it was?" he asked, but then corrected himself. "It was!"

"Yeah dude, you rocked!" Amethyst butted in, slapping a hand on his shoulder. "Can't wait to hear what you have planned for the rest of tonight!"

Peridot didn't say anything, but offered him a kind smile.

"Thanks you guys!" Greg responded cheerfully.

"You were brilliant," Rose chimed in, smiling brightly. "Your songs are so nice!"

"Th-thanks, again," he replied once again, the compliments starting to make him blush.

Pearl turned her back to him, facing the scrutinising glare of Garnet as she did so. Or maybe it was an amused glare - it was hard to tell with the shades covering her eyes.

As Lapis dragged Greg away to talk to him personally, Pearl turned back around, placing her hands on her hips and facing Rose. "I can sing!"

Instantly, Garnet and Amethyst broke out into snickers and giggles, and Rose grinned down at Pearl, who recoiled and tucked her arms close to her body. She switched her gaze between the three of them as she timidly asked, "What?"

"I mean, she's not wrong," Peridot spoke up, shrugging as everyone looked at her. Apparently both Pearl and Peridot were oblivious to her… thirsty comment. "Pearl is good at si… okay what am I not getting here?"

Amethyst's laughter became louder. "I think I just figured out why Pearl is so thirsty!"

"Amethyst," Pearl warned, gritting her teeth and blushing.

"It's because she's so freakin' salty!"

"Amethyst!"

"Chill P," Amethyst soothed, flicking her fringe out of her eye. "You can't deny truth."

Pearl took in a deep breath, then gulped down a mouthful of her drink. "I'm going outside."

Peridot watched her exit the tavern through the side doors to an outside paved area of the building. Peridot sent a quick glare in Amethyst's direction, whom shrugged apologetically. Taking a swig of her own drink, Peridot followed her. With her hoodie on and thick jeans, she still shivered from the cool breeze of the evening.

_How does Pearl even survive with only tank tops in this weather?_

The girl in question was leaning over the wooden planked fence of the patio, her arms crossed and resting against it. She gazed at the sun completely sinking underneath the horizon and the moon taking its place, noticing the stars twinkling in the darkening sky too.

Peridot leant against the fence, grazing her shoulder against Pearl's, but neither of them flinched away from the touch.

"Hey," Peridot breathed, gazing at Pearl. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Pearl sighed. "It's just Amethyst's teasing can get overwhelming."

Peridot turned her attention to the sky. _I understand_. "Have you told her and Garnet about whatever is going on between you and Rose?"

Pearl let out a breathy laugh. "Peridot, I… I still can't believe it. I-I think Rose… is my girlfriend."

"You… think?" Peridot sent her a confused look. "I don't know anything about dating but… don't you ask each other 'out' or something?"

Pearl bit her lip. "Yes. We… haven't done that yet, but we both know we like each other so… we'll see where it goes. But to answer your previous question, no, I haven't told Amethyst and Garnet. I-I will soon."

"That's good, because whatever this is isn't something to be ashamed of! You and Rose are… well as much as I hate this word, you two are cute together."

Pearl's blush returned. "O-oh, thank you."

"You're welcome."

Pearl sighed again, this time content. "So what's going on between you and Lapis?"

Peridot fidgeted, shifting from foot to foot. "Don't tell anyone this, okay?"

"I promise."

Peridot breathed in deeply, shutting her eyes close for a few seconds. "It turns out I've known Lapis for a year. She's the same person that is my closest online friend. I don't think she knows that I'm her online friend too, yet. It's so awkward and weird knowing that she's someone I've confided in for over a year through Skype. I know so much about her, and yet I've only truly known her for two weeks. It's just so… bizarre."

"That is truly something different," Pearl murmured, awestruck. "Is she the same friend you were talking about having questionable feelings for?"

Peridot bit on her lip hard. "Unfortunately, yes."

"Oh." Silence fell between the two for a few seconds, but Pearl had more to say. "So how do you feel about Lapis?"

"You mean, do I have questionable feelings for Lapis now that I've realised she's also my online friend?"

"Yes, but I was _trying_ to be subtle. I don't want to spook you."

"It's okay." Peridot sighed, sinking her head into her crossed arms for a few seconds, before lifting back up. "I don't know how to feel anymore. I really enjoy her company but I feel so awkward around her now. And… it doesn't feel exactly right that she's this, uh, personal after two weeks. I don't know, it's going to take time getting used to, but… maybe those questionable feelings will stay."

"Oh Peridot…" Pearl trailed off, a warm smile tugging her lips. "I hope things will go well for you."

"Thank you." Then Peridot did something rare - her arms wrapped around Pearl's waist and she hid her face in her torso. "I really mean it," she added, muffled through Pearl's clothes, and then quickly pulled away. Pearl was too stunned to return the hug.

Hastily trying to alleviate the awkwardness away from her, Peridot teased, "So how was making out with Rose at a tavern like?"

Pearl completely reddened, her eyes going wide. "Wh-what!?"

"You've got lipstick on your lips, and you don't wear lipstick." Peridot winked and then ran off back inside, snickering her 'nyeh heh heh' laugh the entire way. Pearl laughed her embarrassment away and took off after Peridot.


	9. Hello Angel

Hello Angel

"Thanks for coming along, Lapis," Greg expressed his gratitude, sheepishly running a hand through his hair. "And your friends too."

Lapis leant against the wall space next to the exit doorframe, shooting the man a smug-like smile. Peridot sauntered up to her side, sending her friends a quick glance as they left the tavern.

"Dude, you were amazing, there was no way I was gonna miss this," Lapis congratulated, light-heartedly pushing him on the shoulder. In a quieter voice, she added, "But they're not my friends."

"Yeah, you were pretty great," Peridot squeaked from beside Lapis, tapping and playing with her fingers as a self-distraction. "Will we see you again soon?"

Greg ran another hand through his hair shyly. "Heh heh, probably not _soon_ , but I'll let you guys know if anything comes up."

"Awesome," Lapis commented before being abruptly poked in the arm by the smaller girl.

"We need to go so we don't miss the bus."

"Right, right." Lapis focused back on the musician, and offered a longing smile. "I'll see you around or whatever, Greg."

"Yeah…" he drawled, a slight blush tinging his cheeks as he smiled longingly back. "See you!"

Lapis pushed herself off the wall and lightly grabbed Peridot's wrist as she dragged herself out the tavern. Peridot's arms tensed, but she waved at Greg nonetheless as the cool air of the night brushed against her warm skin.

Peridot never thought she'd admit it, but apparently she did. She had fun. Lots of fun.

She'd never been a huge fan of acoustic music, rock, pop and all that, but that didn't matter. Greg was a great musician, and she got to spend time with her friends. And Lapis, the enigmatic girl with the terrible habit of touching her and calling her cute. Peridot wanted to despise that. She really did. But that didn't stop the reddening of her cheeks or the booming thud of her heart.

Peridot guessed that she was feeling this way because of the revelation. Two people becoming one, like fusion or something. Someone she trusted so much, who she always found the time to talk to, had fused with this mysterious and ironically inviting girl whom almost had the aura of a bad girl stereotype. They had fused and sparked a whirlwind of conflicting feelings and emotions within Peridot. She didn't like that she didn't know what to feel.

One moment, she was intrigued by Lapis, the way she could so effortlessly make herself seem so appealing as a friend, the next, she made the perfect example of why Peridot chose grumpy as her default emotion. She wanted to learn everything about this girl, which was the strange thing - she already knew so much, but it all felt invalid now, like she needed a recap of everything she ever knew about _Winter_. Whilst Lapis craved emotion and feelings derived from her world of art, Peridot craved knowledge, and she was drawn to the other girl like a moth to a lamp in the night sky.

Peridot stared down at the hand grasping hers, seeing the different emotions typed out in front of her eyes, winding around Lapis' wrist and trailing up her arm.

_Joy._

_Frustration._

_Confusion._

_Interest._

Peridot watched one word spiral around Lapis' neck, and stifled a gasp.

_Infatuation._

_No, no, no_ , that was not an emotion associated with Lapis. The words abruptly faded away, and Peridot returned back to reality. Lapis was giving her a funny look.

"You okay there Peridot?" she asked, her odd voice enticing her out of her weird daydream.

"Ye-yeah, I'm fine," Peridot hastily pushed the subject away, but glowered at Amethyst as she wiggled her eyebrows. She added in a whisper, "Maybe I'll tell you later."

"My, my, Peridot, was that flirting?" Lapis smugly commented, purposefully loud enough for the rest of the group to hear, whom were beginning to board the bus.

"Wait, wha- no, no! I-I-what? I didn't—"

Lapis burst out into snort-giggles, sending Amethyst an amused smile as she erupted into laughter too. Pearl and Rose must've already boarded, because Garnet was the only other one witnessing Peridot's flaming embarrassment. She merely offered a thumbs up and a small encouraging smile.

It seemed like Lapis wanted to say something, but between her fits of snorts, she couldn't get a decent word out. Peridot frowned, her blush deepening.

"Garnet!" she hissed, waving her arms dramatically at Lapis almost crying on top of Amethyst as the both of them heaved their shoulders in laughter. "Help me out here!? I wasn't flirting, what do I do!?"

Garnet's smile grew wider as she lightly tapped Lapis away from Amethyst, whom looked like she was about to collapse on the floor. With a small grunt, she wrapped her arms around Amethyst's waist and drew her to her chest as she boarded the bus.

"Oh… oh my," Lapis managed to spit out, her watery eyes drying up as she began to calm herself. "… fucking… god. You should've seen… your face!"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. You keep teasing me and I keep reacting, how surprising," Peridot sourly snapped back, and jumped onto the bus after Garnet, leaving Lapis to gather her senses.

As Peridot rigidly sunk into her seat on the bus by herself, she huffed at the voice outside the bus shouting at her to wait up. Lapis collapsed into the seat next to Peridot again, still puffing a little bit, but there were no more giggles.

"Hey, am I hurting you? I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be mean," she calmly apologised, and Peridot noticed for the first time Lapis seemed a little flustered.

"It's just the same predictable bull over and over again, Lazuli!" Peridot exclaimed, but the fury inside of her washed away. Trying for a light-hearted tone, she added, "You tease me, then I get flustered, big deal. Don't you get bored seeing the same reaction?"

Lapis saw the angle Peridot was trying to get at, but she wasn't letting it go. "You didn't answer me - am I hurting you? I.. I don't want to hurt anyone." Peridot could've sworn she heard Lapis whisper afterwards, "Not like she did."

"You aren't hurting me, I swear, I'm just a bit of a grumpy butt. It's a bit annoying at worst."

Lapis snorted softly. "You're a small anger bean."

"Lazuli, you need more nicknames than that! You already called me that once today," Peridot countered, enjoying the playful bickering she would usually indulge in with Pearl.

"Because you've totally been calling me anything else other than Lazuli," she shot back, a small grin overtaking her previous worried expression. "At least I'm more creative than you."

"Fine, how about…" Peridot froze. Of course the first nickname that came to mind was _Winter_. "Water… Witch?"

Lapis sarcastically clapped her hands. "Wow, bravo, so creative. Since when was I a witch?"

Peridot mumbled to herself, glaring at the chair in front of her, as if deep in thought.

"Well, your official nicknames by yours truly are: Small Anger Bean, Pyramid Head, Peri, P-Dork, and Cutie-dot."

Peridot's face scrunched up, and she turned to Lapis with the expression. "Those are all horrible nicknames! Except Peri. But especially the last two! And why the heck do you keep calling me cute!?"

"Because you _are_." Lapis rolled her eyes at Peridot's stubbornness. "I barely know your friends and I know all of them think you're cute. Hell, even Sardonyx, a complete stranger, called you cute!"

"I'm not cute! I'm-I'm…"

"Sexy?"

Peridot's face fired up as her eyes went completely wide. "Lapis!" she screeched and shoved the other girl.

Lapis was so shocked at the outburst that she toppled off the chair and smacked her backside on the bus floor. Suddenly, the snort-laughter escaped again.

"What in the stars is going on!?" Pearl's shrill voice echoed through the back of the bus, which thankfully, only consisted of their group.

"I called Peridot sexy and she pushed me off the seat," Lapis bluntly stated.

Peridot poked her head out. "She deserves it!"

Amethyst flung herself over Garnet's lap and came close to Lapis' face. "I'm beginning to think you flirt with Peridot more than Pearl and Rose."

"Well, obviously I'm super-lovestruck for that nerd."

"And Pearl isn't super-lovestruck for Rose?"

"Hey, leave me out of this!" Pearl snapped, squinting at Amethyst almost crawling into her lap over Garnet's. "Buuu-t, it is interesting as to why you keep flirting with Peridot."

Lapis shrugged. "Peri's reactions are funny. I swear nobody's flirted with her before."

"Hellooo, I'm right here!" Peridot barked, waving her hands in the air. "It would be nice if you could stop talking about me, clods."

"Yes, right, sorry," Pearl intervened before more teasing made Peridot uncomfortable. She knew that feeling all too well. "Rose? Since we're staying at your beach house, what are your plans for tonight?"

"Well, we'll need to grab our stuff from home for the night, so once everyone has their stuff, we can meet up at the Big Donut," Rose began, pondering over the night with a distance look in her eyes. "And then I'll show us the way to the beach house, and we'll order pizza or whatever anyone wants."

"And we'll have party games!" Amethyst interrupted, still leant over Garnet's lap with a huge grin.

Pearl groaned. "Really?"

"Well, I'd love to know everyone better," Rose contemplated. "The good _and_ the bad."

Lapis watched the conversation in silence, but shook her head when Peridot offered her a hand up. "Nah, the floor's comfortable."

"Are you sure?" Peridot questioned, arching an eyebrow.

"Come join me, I'm sure you'll change your mind."

"Sit on a dirty floor?" Peridot responded, dissatisfaction tainting her tone. "No tha—"

It seemed she didn't have a choice, as Lapis tugged Peridot down by her still extended hand.

Peridot yelped as she tumbled down from her seat, squeezing her eyes shut reflexively. When she felt warmth underneath her and not the cold, plastic floor grazing her knees, she opened her eyes to find her knees around Lapis' waist and her forehead almost pressed against her nose. She felt heat furiously burn her face as she noticed the eyes of her friends prying.

"Comfortable?" Lapis purred, her face dangerously close to Peridot's.

Peridot instantly pushed herself away. "No!" she spat, climbing out of Lapis' lap, but to no avail. When she turned her back, Lapis wrapped her arms around her waist and hauled her back down onto her lap.

"Lapis!" Peridot cried out, her face still on fire. "Let me go, you clod!"

"Don't be rude," she chided, resting her chin on Peridot's shoulder.

"Says the person who refused to be polite to me on the first day."

Lapis merely grunted in response.

Peridot glanced over to her friends, all of which were still staring at her cradled in Lapis' arms. "Don't get any ideas."

"Too late," Amethyst commented as she whipped out her phone, taking a picture of the two huddled on the floor. Peridot scowled the entire time.

Pearl leant over Amethyst and somewhat whispered to Garnet, "I think Lapis is conditioning her to touching."

Garnet hummed. "I think so too."

"Is this good for her?"

"That's her decision, Pearl."

"Uh-huh," Pearl grunted, noncommittally agreeing, then retracted back to Rose.

Peridot didn't bother prying Lapis' fingers away from her body after a few minutes of struggling, and remained in her lap, watching the written words float around her.

She found herself staring at _infatuation_.

She _really_ didn't know what to feel.

* * *

Peridot quickly shut the door behind her, signalling to Lapis to continue walking on as she shrugged her bag onto her shoulders.

"Alright, yours is this way?" she asked, already taking hasty steps away from her house. Lapis sauntered up beside her.

"Yeah. Are you gonna tell me why you left me out in the cold now?"

Peridot gazed at the concrete path her feet were tapping on. "My mother is a bit strict and stuff, I didn't really feel like introducing you to her yet."

"Oh, really?" Lapis gazed at Peridot, her lips slightly pursed. "That's your reason for letting me go cold?"

"Yes," Peridot bluntly acknowledged, but bit her lip a little.

Lapis snorted. "Great excuse. I'll actually introduce you to my mum."

"Well, make it quick, we don't want to make everyone else wait for us."

When the bus had arrived at the town centre bus-port, the group split up, Peridot and Lapis going to their neighbourhood, Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst going to their's, and Rose making her way to the beach. Honestly, Peridot preferred getting some alone time - Lapis was making her feel weird - but they both lived relatively near each other so it was efficient walking together.

Lapis seemed to take the hint from Peridot's attitude, or perhaps expression, and they strode to her house in comfortable silence. Or maybe not comfortable. Peridot was finding being comfortable around Lapis was both very easy and very hard.

Something like ten minutes later, the pair stopped in front of a rather small house, having larger garden space than interior space. The beige-brown bricked walls seemed like crimson in the darkness, and the black tin roof blended into the moonlit night sky. Peridot watched Lapis creak open the mahogany front door in anxious anticipation.

Like a coincidence, the interior walls of Lapis' home were painted sky blue, the lights and lamps scattered throughout the house gleaming against the walls in a brilliant orange-white. Lying lazily on the couch in the centre of the room was a tall woman with long blue-faded brown hair tangled around her body. Peridot noticed the woman was nose-deep in a book, though she couldn't observe which book.

"Hey Mum," Lapis called out, lumbering over to what appeared to be her room, and when her mother glanced up, she waved meekly.

Lapis' mother's gaze rested on Peridot, her intense blue eyes too similar to her daughter. Peridot froze under the stare, but relaxed a little bit at her warm smile.

"Hey Lapis, who's your friend?"

Lapis sent Peridot a quick glance, beckoning her to her room. "Her name is Peridot."

Lapis' mother fidgeted on the couch a little, as if trying to get a better look at Peridot. "Hello, Peridot. My name's Iris."

Peridot caught Lapis rolling her eyes and then wandered off into her room. Peridot tried to casually lean against the wall, awkwardly maintaining the conversation. "Hi, Iris. You look a lot like Lapis."

Iris snorted, the sound being very familiar to Peridot. She guessed it ran in the family.

"I would hope so, she _is_ my daughter." She sent another curious glance at the smaller girl. "Speaking of which, you wouldn't happen to be Daisy's daughter?"

Peridot frowned, her mouth hanging a little. "You know my mother?"

Iris' curious glance became one of amusement. "Of course I do, we work together."

"She's never talked about you before," Peridot mumbled, frowning harder at the wall she was distantly staring at.

"Well, knowing Daisy, I was probably never referred to as Iris. I guess she doesn't talk much about business at home anyway; none of us really do."

Peridot hummed in thought, softening her frown. "That's strange."

"What, is Mum creeping you out?" Lapis intervened, drifting out her room with her own bag on her shoulders.

"Our parents work together," Peridot replied, quickly glancing at the other girl.

"That is pretty strange," Lapis stated, humming, before she gently grabbed Peridot's wrist. "Well, we gotta go Mum. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Alright, see you sweetie! Have fun with your new friends!" Iris cried out, giving a small wave before digging her nose back into her book. Lapis grumbled under her breath and rushed out the front door, Peridot quickly trailing behind.

As the pair took off for the Big Donut, Peridot sent Lapis curious glances.

"Aren't you even a little surprised our parents work together?" she questioned.

"These days, nothing really surprises me," Lapis responded with a shrug.

_I'm 96% sure I can surprise you._

"Right."

Lapis smiled slightly. "Nah, I'm just messing with you. It is pretty surprising. Maybe I could've met you earlier if your mum was different."

_You have._

Peridot refrained from saying that out loud. "Perhaps."

"Peridot?" Lapis suddenly questioned, her tone sharp.

"Yeah?"

"Your friends are pretty alright, but I'm coming to this thing to hang out with you. You know that, right?"

"I don't know why you devote so much to me," Peridot absentmindedly replied, but was honestly flattered. And… confused. _Why me?_

"Because I care about you. You're different, you're passionate, you're like a wild adventure. I'm sorry, it is pretty weird for me to act like this after two weeks of knowing someone, but you really are something different."

Peridot blushed a little. "Wow, thanks. The Big Donut is up ahead."

"I didn't notice the giant donut on the roof at all."

"Shut up," Peridot grumbled, walking faster towards their destination.

Sure enough, the rest of the group was waiting patiently. Well, except Amethyst - she seemed to be bored out of her mind and bugging Pearl every few seconds.

"Finally, we were wondering where you two were!" Amethyst complained, opting to move away from Pearl and urge Rose ahead. "C'mon, let's go already."

"Alright, alright, hold your horses," Rose scolded Amethyst, but smiled nonetheless as the smaller girl tried to shove her. She moved easily out of the way and Amethyst crumpled to the ground, Pearl giving a satisfied snort. Rose beckoned everyone else to follow her.

The group chatted on the way to Rose's beach house, located roughly five minutes away, but Lapis stayed silent. Peridot encouraged her a few times to join in on the small talk and teasing, but the other girl just shook her head. Peridot couldn't tell if this was uncharacteristic of her, or if Lapis bounding with joy and flirtatiousness was the anomaly.

When they reached the beach house, Peridot was quite awestruck. The house was like a large shack, made completely out of white wood, excusing the light brown tiled roof. It was nestled underneath the cliff overlooking the ocean, a lighthouse perched at the top. Peridot noted that the house wasn't directly underneath the cliff, thankfully, as she wouldn't appreciate being crushed by a loose boulder crumbling off the cliff-face.

Rose trailed up the steps, kicking the sand off her bare feet, and opened the front door wide for everyone else to enter. Amethyst excitedly zoomed into the house first, Garnet and Pearl wandering in after her, and Peridot followed, Lapis trudging in behind her. The door squeaked closed as Rose bounded in last, taking to the lead.

Amethyst already had sunk into the longer side of the L-shaped couch, comfortably groaning into the pillow her face was squashed into. Garnet made no sound, but rather flicked Amethyst's legs away so she could sit down too. Pearl stood in awe, staring around the beach house, and Rose watched her curiously. Peridot guided Lapis and herself over to the smaller side of the couch backing against a small flight of stairs, gratefully slumping into the cushions.

"This place is just like your house!" Pearl exclaimed, a hand covering her mouth and muffling the words a little.

"My dad's a builder. This house was designed by him to replicate home," Rose replied, dragging a singular couch seat in front the coffee table at everyone else's feet. She settled into the beige seat and patted her lap, beckoning Pearl over. The slender girl frowned a little, noticing Amethyst's suggestive eyebrow wiggling, but obliged and crawled into Rose's lap.

Amethyst shifted so she was leaning on her elbows, her hands cradling her cheeks, and her short legs were bent at the knees and pushed against the back of the couch. Still making suggestive faces, she interrogated with a snicker, "So, when are you gonna tell us the big news?"

Pearl blushed as Rose wrapped her arms around her waist, cradling her to her chest. She shot Peridot a nervous glance, but Peridot tried to smile encouragingly. "It seems you already know, so it would be pointless saying it out loud, Amethyst."

Amethyst's wicked grin grew. "C'mon, say it!"

Pearl sighed, raising a hand to her head and massaging her temple, but she put on a keen smile as she drew her hand back. "Rose and I are dating."

"I knew it!" Amethyst cried out, throwing a fist in the air and whooping. Pearl scowled, but the effect was lessened by her flushed cheeks brightening.

"That's great news," Garnet congratulated, taking off her shades for a rare occasion and offering a warm smile and a thumbs up.

Although Peridot already knew, she cheered on for Pearl anyway. The spindly girl gave her a giant smile of appreciation for that. However, Lapis remained silent beside Peridot, only a tinge of a smile on her lips.

"Are you okay?" Peridot whispered, frowning concernedly at her friend.

"Hmm? Yeah," Lapis replied, brushing off the subject immediately. She widened her smile to seem more convincing.

Peridot frowned a little harder, but shrugged to herself. "So are we ordering the pizza?"

"Oh, yes!" Rose happily replied, digging her hand into her jeans' pocket and whipping her phone out. "What pizzas do you want? I'll get three."

After some restless discussion, it was decided to get a meat lovers, Hawaiian, and supreme. As Rose finished up ordering over the phone, Amethyst started excitedly kicking her legs back and forth in the air.

"What's made you so cheery?" Pearl asked condescendingly.

"Let's play a game," Amethyst responded devilishly, winking at Rose. Rose grinned back once she shoved her phone back in her pocket.

Pearl raised an eyebrow. "Like a board game?"

Lapis snorted, but remained quiet when a few eyes gazed at her.

"No, P, as in Truth or Dare, and Never Have I Ever."

Peridot felt her stomach sink at that. Sure, it was good fun to play those sorts of games, but she didn't really want to be revealing any truths tonight.

Pearl was skeptical. "Are we really going to play those games?"

"Of course we are," Rose responded for Amethyst over Pearl's shoulder. "Let's take a vote on which one to play first. Who wants Truth or Dare?"

Amethyst and Lapis raised their hands slowly, as if in a classroom they weren't keen on.

"And Never Have I Ever?"

Rose raised a hand, and Pearl reluctantly raised hers as well. Peridot timidly joined in too.

"Garnet?" Rose asked.

"I'm cool with whatever," she hummed, relaxing further into the couch and getting comfortable.

"Alright, well, it looks like Never Have I Ever first. Amethyst, can you grab the drinks?"

"Ugh, I wanted to save the alcohol for later on, but fiii-ne," Amethyst groaned, falling off the couch and trudging towards the kitchen.

"Wait, what?" Pearl and Peridot shouted in unison, sending worried glances to Amethyst and Rose.

"What, you guys didn't know there's alcohol involved in Never Have I Ever?" Amethyst questioned, grinning cheekily. "Well, you ain't getting out of this one - everyone's drinking tonight. I brought a four-pack of ginger beer and a few different flavours of vodka thanks to my older sibling, and Rose has a couple of regular beers."

"I'll take a ginger beer," Garnet called out.

"What vodkas did you get?" Rose questioned over her shoulder.

Amethyst hummed. "Hmm, raspberry, pineapple, watermelon and guava!"

"I'll take a raspberry then. What about you Pearl?"

Pearl stuttered. "I've, uh, never had alcohol before, apart from sips offered by my parents."

"It's okay, we won't let you go overboard," Rose soothed with a smug smile. "You can have a taste of mine, then decide. What about you, Lapis?"

"Just a regular beer, thanks," she easily replied, waving a hand in Amethyst's direction, and the other girl nodded.

"P-dot? What do ya want?" Amethyst asked, head deep in the fridge.

"I'm in the same boat at Pearl, but um… pineapple vodka, thank you?"

"Awesome." Amethyst trailed back to the living room, placing five drinks on the coffee table, opening them all. Lapis grabbed her's and Peridot's drink, passing the other's over with an encouraging nod.

"Vodka isn't too bad if you like soda."

"Yeah, I figured," Peridot replied, scrunching up her face a little as she brought the bottle to her lips.

"Wait, wait!" Lapis intervened, grasping Peridot's hand wrapped around the bottle and tugged it away from her face. "Don't taste it yet! Save it for the game."

Peridot blushed a little. "Oh, okay."

"Pearl, do you want a taste?" Rose politely urged, passing the bottle to the girl in her lap.

"Um, sure." Pearl gripped onto the bottle, slowly bringing it to her lips and taking a sip. As she pulled the bottle away, her lips pursed and she frowned slightly. "If I have to do this, I'll have the same as Rose."

"Yeah, P!" Amethyst cheered, running back to the fridge and bringing the bottle over to Pearl. "A'ight, so, the aim of the game is to be the last person standing with alcohol left in their bottle. When it's your turn, you have to say "Never have I ever…" and finish off with something you haven't done. Or it can be something you've done, but then you have to take a swig of your drink. If anyone _has_ done the thing the person says they haven't, then they have to take a swig too. Get it?"

"I s'pose so," Peridot murmured beside Lapis, tangling all ten of her fingers around the bottle and feeling the dampness of the condensation on her palms. Everyone else nodded their heads.

"Alright, I'll start!" Amethyst continued on, bouncing on her seat on the couch. "Never have I ever _not_ been drunk before."

"Okay, she is clearly targeting Peridot and I, _and_ that was a double negative," Pearl argued, crossing her arms on the one arm Rose still had around her waist.

"That's the aim of the game, P. And I can do that," Amethyst shot back with a smirk.

Pearl groaned and took a small sip of her drink. Peridot followed suit. Somewhat surprisingly, Garnet drank as well.

"We'll go clockwise, so Garnet, it's your turn," Amethyst concluded.

Garnet hummed. "Never have I ever been drunk before."

"Hey, that was a puny move," Amethyst growled, but took a drink anyway. Rose and Lapis joined in too.

"Now everyone's even, but nobody else do that."

"It's your turn Pearl," Rose encouraged, resting her chin on her shoulder.

"Um… Never have I ever skipped a day of school for illegitimate reasons?" Pearl stated, though it sounded more like a question.

"Ohoho, Pearl the bad-ass!" Amethyst teased, taking a swig of her drink. Everyone drank except Peridot and Pearl.

"Shush, at least I know my grades are excellent," Pearl snapped smugly.

"Never have I ever…" Rose began, hesitating for effect. "Been outside the US."

Garnet, Amethyst, Lapis and Peridot drank.

"Where have you two been?" Rose asked, directing her gaze at Lapis and Peridot.

"My mother has taken me on business trips to the UK, Australia, Singapore, and Canada, when I was too young to take care of myself," Peridot informed, puffing out her chest proudly.

"I was raised in Canada," Lapis added in, deadpanning.

"Oh! That's great." Rose sent a smile to Peridot. "Your turn."

"Hmm, never have I ever dated someone!" Peridot laughed her infamous laugh and rubbed her hands together, as if she was plotting an evil plan. Everyone in the room took a swig of their drinks except herself and Garnet. "Hah! I knew I'd get most of you."

"Alright, Peridot. Never have I ever built an electronic device," Lapis stated, grinning at Peridot taking a gulp of her drink in annoyance. Pearl joined in too.

Amethyst offered her fist to Lapis, and she bumped it. "Nice one Lap-dog. Never have I ever kissed a girl… yet."

Pearl grumbled as she took another sip of her drink - this was supposed to be easy for an innocent person like her, but it wasn't turning out to be. Rose, Garnet, and Lapis took a drink as well.

"You've kissed a girl before?" Peridot questioned Lapis skeptically.

Lapis grunted. "I'm bi."

"Huh, same dude!" Amethyst interrupted. "See? This game _is_ good P! We're getting some bonding over this!"

Pearl rolled her eyes, but before she could say anything, Garnet took her turn.

"Never have I ever gone to a party. And I don't mean a birthday party."

"Ugh, Garnet, you're no fun," Amethyst whined as she took her fifth swig. Lapis drank as well, taking the lead with her sixth drink.

"See? This is why we're friends Lap. You actually do fun stuff!" Amethyst exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air.

"Hm, never have I ever…" Pearl froze, a small blush tinging her cheeks. "Are there any limits to what we can say?"

"Nope," Amethyst replied, popping her 'p'.

"Oh, okay…" Pearl cleared her throat. "Never have I ever watched pornography."

Amethyst burst out laughing. "Upping your game there, P!"

Pearl's blush reddened, especially when Rose took a swig over her shoulder. Everyone else drank as well.

"Peri?" Lapis questioned as the blonde took a slow sip of her drink with a very red face. "Wow, I thought you were innocent."

Peridot threw a light punch into Lapis' arm, and grumbled, "Shut up."

Rose went to have her turn when the doorbell chimed. "I'll get it!"

Pearl jumped off her lap, standing awkwardly without the warmth of Rose pressed against her. When she returned, she had three large pizza boxes stacked up in her arms, and she managed to balance all of them on the small coffee table.

"The game's not over," Rose declared, "but dig in!"

Everyone reached for a slice. Peridot and Amethyst seemed the most eager to stuff the glorious food into their mouths, whilst Lapis took small bites of hers and Pearl picked off some of the toppings.

Between bites, Rose announced her turn. "Never have I ever slept in the same bed with someone."

"Really?" Lapis asked doubtfully. "Not even with a friend?"

"Nope. I never stayed with people with big enough beds," Rose replied with a grin, which only widened when Amethyst burst out laughing.

"Wow Rose, that's your reason? Wow." She took a swig, along with Lapis, Garnet and Pearl.

Lapis drank the rest of the liquid in the bottle and placed it on the table. "I'm out. Didn't even have a chance." After a hesitation, she added, "I can believe _you_ haven't slept in the same bed with someone though," Lapis admitted, staring at Peridot's untouched bottle. "You seem as closed off as a… I dunno, a hibernating bear."

Peridot scoffed, and started shoving a second slice of pizza in her mouth. "Nice simile. Never have I ever kissed someone before."

"Ugh, well, I'm out," Amethyst revealed, tossing her empty bottle onto the table. "That one was harsh P-dot."

Peridot puffed out her chest again as everyone in the room took a drink. "Hah, I'm getting you all!"

"Quick, Garnet, make Peridot drink!" Lapis persuaded, a grin tugging her lips.

Garnet returned the smug grin. "Never have I ever had an online best friend."

"Are you serious? Ugh." Peridot shot Lapis a glower, then took her fifth drink. She was starting to feel the slightest bit light-headed. She guessed Pearl was feeling the same, considering both had never had alcohol before.

To her surprise, Rose took a swig as well. It seemed like there was one use left in the bottle.

"Don't crack out another one like the last," Amethyst warned cheekily, relishing Pearl's blush.

"N-never have I ever… kissed a boy," Pearl declared.

Rose took her final drink and propped her empty bottle on the table, grabbing another slice of pizza in the process. "Well, it's just you three left. Battle of the innocent people."

Peridot hummed in thought, scratching her chin with her fingertips. "Never have I ever taken a dance class."

Pearl groaned as both her and Garnet took a swig - her seventh swig and Garnet's final one. The British girl placed her bottle on the table and leant back into the cushions.

"Of course it's the nerds that are last… or first? I dunno," Amethyst teased. "I bet Peri-dork's gonna win."

"Never have I ever…" Pearl began, staring intently at the other nerd, trying to find her weak points. "Had a crush on someone on the Internet."

Peridot's face flared up as she took her sixth drink.

"Wait, what? Oh my god, this calls for a celebration - Peri has feelings!" Amethyst cheered, flopping onto her back and throwing her hands into the air for effect.

"Of course I have feelings," Peridot snapped, "just not normally… questionable ones."

" _That's_ what you call having a crush? Holy mother of Pearl," Amethyst spluttered between hearty laughs. Lapis joined in snort-laughing as well when she saw Pearl's disapproval at the substitute for swearing.

Peridot shot a glare at Pearl, but only half-heartedly as the slender girl gave her a sincere shrug and apologetic smile. "Never have I ever daydreamed about making out with someone!"

Pearl took her final swig, resting the empty bottle between her knees. "Well, you got me. I can see why you guys like alcohol. What a nice warm feeling it leaves."

"I knew Peri would win, she's literally done nothing a normal teen does. Except apparently watch porn," Amethyst teased.

"Hey!" Peridot shouted, the blush returning. "In my defence, I was figuring out my sexuality!"

"I'm pretty sure we all were," Amethyst shot back, but started snickering.

Peridot grumbled to herself and placed her almost empty drink on the table, whilst reaching out for another slice of pizza. Apparently Amethyst had already engulfed more than half a pizza, and the number of slices left were dwindling.

Peridot noticed Lapis hadn't touched the pizza after having her first slice. "Hey, are you going to have more?"

Lapis shrugged. "Nah, I'm good thanks." Then turning her attention back to everyone else, she asked, "Are we gonna play Truth or Dare?"

"How about we take a breather first," Garnet answered. Everyone seemed happy with that decision. Rose put on some pop music quietly in the background on her stereo, and cheerful chatter commenced. Peridot even swore she saw Pearl peck Rose on the lips when she sunk back into her lap. For some reason, that made her think of Lapis.

After taking another sip of her drink and waiting for Lapis to return from the fridge with the last beer for herself, Peridot slowly brushed against her shoulder when she sat down.

"I'm glad you came tonight," Peridot mumbled, unaware of the muffling of her words.

"And I'm glad you came to Greg's gig," Lapis appreciated happily, running a hand through Peridot's messy blonde hair. "Do you get cuddlier when you drink alcohol?"

Peridot hummed. "Possibly, though I am nowhere near drunk."

"Well, you're definitely tipsy." Lapis poked Peridot's nose, to which her only response to was squinting. "See? I think I like tipsy Peri."

"Mmm, you should like me all the time."

Lapis snorted. "I do, dork."

Peridot only hummed in response.

"Rose, where the fuck is your bathroom?" Amethyst swore, glancing around the room with a cute scowl.

Rose giggled a bit before answering. "I don't have one."

Everyone gazed at her with confused and/or surprised expressions, except Pearl, whom seemed to lighten up at that.

"I _knew_ you didn't show me one at your house!" she exclaimed, turning around in Rose's lap and coming nose-to-nose with her. "I wasn't imagining things!"

Rose's giggles erupted into full on laughter at the sight around her, to the point where tears were welling up in her eyes. "I'm joking, Amethyst! It's under the loft - don't ask why, I don't understand either." She glanced back to Pearl, smiling at the adorable face she was making. "It's the same at my house. Dad basically applied the same plan to this house. I just forgot to tell you."

"Of course you did, you were too enamoured by the beautiful, graceful being that is me," Pearl flirted, but hid behind a scoff.

"God, she sounds like you," Lapis whispered to Peridot still lazily leaning against her shoulder.

"Probably," Peridot replied absentmindedly.

When Amethyst returned from the bathroom, she shouted as she leapt onto the couch, "Alright! You chumps up for some Truth or Dare?"

"Definitely!" Lapis cheered on, raising her beer to her lips. "Who's gonna go first?"

"You can go," Amethyst suggested.

"Alright. Peri, truth or dare?"

Peridot grumbled into Lapis' shoulder. "Why me first?"

Lapis nudged her face with the shoulder she was leaning on. "C'mon, truth or dare?"

Honestly, Peridot hated truth or dare. She was never a liar, but she had things she liked to keep secret, and she was always dared to do something stupid.

"Dare, but it _has_ to be fair."

Lapis smirked. "Oh, how _daring_. I dare you to take off an item of clothing."

Peridot groaned and slipped off her right Vans. "There. Is it my turn now?"

"How scandalous."

"Well that was lame," Amethyst whined, "but yeah, it's your turn."

"Pearl," she began as she pointed her index finger at the slender girl curled up in Rose's lap. "Truth or dare?"

She hummed a little before she answered, "Truth."

A devilish smile curled Peridot's lips. "Before you started dating Rose, how many times did you daydream about kissing her?"

"Peridot!" she squawked, and a bright red blush tinged her cheeks. "Erm… maybe once or twice a week?"

"Oh my stars, that's so adorable," Rose cooed, and Peridot joined in too when Rose planted a gentle kiss on Pearl's cheek.

"Okay you two, that's enough," Pearl scolded, then cleared her throat. "Ahem, Amethyst. Truth or dare?"

"I'll take a dare, P. Hit me with your best shot," Amethyst responded with a smug smile.

"With pleasure," Pearl shot back with her own smirk. "I dare you to swim in the ocean with your clothes on."

"Are you kidding me? It's going to be fucking freezing!" At Pearl's unmoving smug expression, she sighed. "Rose, can you get me a towel? I don't want to freeze to death."

As the group headed outside, Rose with a towel in her arms, they plonked down on the sand and watched Amethyst dip her bare feet in the water.

"Yow!" she yelped, but toned it down and immediately leapt into the ocean head first. A few seconds later, she breached, shouting and cursing the entire time.

"Fuck! Pearl, how long do I have to stay in this shit for?"

"Ten more seconds!" she hollered, receiving high fives from Garnet and Rose. When Amethyst trudged back onto the shore, she was shivering like a wet cat, though honestly, that's exactly what she was. She instantly lunged at Rose holding her a towel and wrapped it around her as fast as she could. As she passed Pearl, she flicked some saltwater at her, eliciting a growl from the other girl.

"Well, now that I'm dripping wet, I'm gonna have a shower and change into PJs," Amethyst announced as they all entered the beach house again. "But before I go, Lapis, truth or dare?"

"Dare," Lapis immediately responded.

"I dare you to kiss Peri."

Before Lapis could argue (though she probably wasn't going to), Amethyst darted off to the bathroom, laughing the whole way.

"Well, I'm not complaining," she stated as she stared down at Peridot, her entire face reddening at the dare.

"No, she can't do that! She dared _you_ , that shouldn't include me as well!" Peridot protested, spluttering the entire time.

Lapis didn't respond, merely cupped Peridot's face as her cheeks brightened furthermore. She dipped down and pressed her lips against her cheek, then retreated. Peridot stared at Lapis with wide eyes.

"She didn't say what type of kiss," Lapis nonchalantly replied, shrugging her shoulders at everyone. Peridot wasn't sure if she was openly lying or Lapis really didn't register the corner of her mouth being touched by her lips too. Peridot decided to stay quiet about that.

"Garnet, truth or dare?" she continued, oblivious to the still heated Peridot beside her.

"Truth."

"If you had to sleep with someone in this house, who would it be?"

Garnet barked out a laugh. "Define what you mean by 'sleep'."

Lapis hummed. "I'll go easy on you - just sharing a bed."

"Already done that with Amethyst and Pearl, though Amethyst is a pain to sleep with. Probably Peridot, she looks like a peaceful sleeper," Garnet answered, sending Peridot a small smile.

"Yeah, okay," Peridot mumbled to herself.

"Rose, truth or dare?"

"Dare." She sent Garnet a bold smile.

"I dare you to take off an item of Pearl's clothing of your choice."

"Wait," Pearl squeaked. "No! Well… I suppose Peridot was included in a dare, so it wouldn't be fair if I declined… but still!"

Rose started giggling. "Oh my gosh, you're so adorable. Hmm, I wonder what will look best not on you?"

Pearl stayed silent, her cheeks completely flushed, but begged Rose with her eyes. By some magical entity or something, Pearl was spared embarrassment.

"Take off your socks Pearl, but keep your shoes on." At Pearl's confused but grateful glance, Rose justified herself. "If I'm not going to embarrass you, I'm going to make you uncomfortable. I know you hate wearing shoes without socks."

Pearl grumbled but smiled thankfully.

Amethyst then sauntered out of the bathroom, rubbing her wet hair with the towel she was given. "What did I miss?"

Pearl starting counting the two dares and one truth on her fingers. "Well, Lapis kissed Peridot on the cheek, and then Garnet admitted if she had to share a bed with someone in this house, it would be Peridot, and then she dared Rose to take a piece of my clothing off, which was my socks."

"Awww," Amethyst complained, disappointment obvious in her tone, "I wanted Lapis to kiss P-dot on the lips!"

"Too late," Lapis countered, crossing her arms after taking a sip of her beer. She gestured to Peridot's still not-empty bottle. "Are you going to finish that?"

Peridot shook away the thought of Lapis kissing her on the lips - if she wanted a heart attack, she could just walk outside during a thunderstorm. She didn't need Lapis for that. Sending Lapis a glimpse, she chugged the rest of her drink down.

"Finished."

Lapis arched an eyebrow. "Ri-ght."

Rose spoke up. "Pearl, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

Rose briefly thought to embarrass Pearl about her fantasies, but she thought better of that. Those truths were better left to when they were alone.

"If you could kiss anyone else except me, who would it be?"

Pearl flushed a light red. "I wouldn't want to."

"Aww, how cheesy," Lapis teased, sending Pearl a smug smile.

Rose smiled sweetly at Pearl's response and gently kissed her nose. "My Pearl."

"Okay, tone the cheesiness down," Amethyst intervened, squinting at Pearl. "It's your shot now."

Pearl cleared her throat, her face still burning. "Uh, Peridot, truth or dare?"

Peridot groaned at being pinpointed again. "Dare?" When she saw the gleam in Pearl's light blue eyes she knew she made a mistake.

"I dare you to tell Lapis."

Peridot went rigid, her legs getting that queasy feeling in them, like you're about to collapse. Her heart instantly thudded in her ears.

_Why can't she go easy on me?_

"Tell her… what?" Peridot stuttered, playing dumb and glancing between the slender girl and Lapis.

"What you told me," Pearl urged, but gave her an encouraging smile. It didn't really help at all.

This wasn't something she had prepared for. She expected to be running around in the cold, screaming at the top of her lungs, or dared to do other stupid but fair things. Yet something told her that Pearl wasn't doing this to be mean, but to spark something greater between her and Lapis.

Peridot slowly turned around in her seat, and she glimpsed Amethyst almost squealing in excitement. Obviously, she thought Peridot was admitting something different. She drew in a deep, long breath, and stared into Lapis' eyes.

_Her eyes are like the ocean._

"I can't do this," Peridot admitted. She stood up abruptly, throwing her hood over her head and left the house, quietly closing the door behind her. If her friends were protesting, they were doing it quietly, as Peridot heard no voices as she stepped down from the patio and ran through the sand until she felt far away enough from the house.

She collapsed in the sand by the shore and tugged her phone out of her pocket. As hastily as possible, she skimmed through her library with shaky hands and selected a song to calm her down - Glacier's _Dancing By Myself_.

She heard the sand crunching underneath footsteps once she had reached the bridge of the song, singing it out before the punch line. The chorus began thudding out of her phone's speakers when Lapis sunk into the sand next to her, silent. After a few moments, Peridot shakily muted her phone.

"I'm sorry," Peridot apologised.

"I'm not sure what you're sorry for," Lapis admitted. "Are you okay?"

"I'm just confused and I don't understand and I'm scared. I don't know which emotion to face with first."

Lapis frowned a little at the ocean, and gazed at Peridot. It was dark, but the light of the stars and moon reflected off Lapis' hair. "What are you worried about?"

"I—ugh, I don't understand Lapis!" Peridot turned to her side to face Lapis and scrunched her hands into frustrated fists. "You've known me for two weeks; _how_ and _why_ are you so willing to be so… _personal_ with me! And why am I okay with it?"

Lapis rubbed her arm. "Yeah. I already told you that it's not normal of me to act like this around such a new friend. It's weird of me. I guess I'm just trying to have a clean slate after my bad experiences in my last school. I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay! I'm just… confused. I'm trying to understand _why me_?"

"I find you interesting…" Lapis shook her head. "Look, if this is what you were talking about telling me on the bus this evening, then why did you invite me along? It's like you don't want me around."

"That's not it either!" Peridot felt like pulling at her hair, then launched to her feet. "I really like having you as a friend, it's just all so sudden. It took me _months_ to befriend my current friends, but it took a mere two weeks to get this close to you. It's… different, that's all."

Lapis hesitated for a long moment, and then stared at Peridot with a small smile. "So is this what Pearl's dare was about?"

"Um, no." Peridot tangled her fingers together stressfully; she could do this. "This is going to come as a shock. Uh… Winter. Yeah, hi, it's your friend, um, Green Space Doritos. Your, uh… space nerd."

Peridot saw the glint in Lapis' eyes. She could see the inner workings, the cogs in her head, turning and piecing everything together. The glint became glassy.

"Oh… my god," she breathed out.

Peridot felt her insides break, and she started shaking again. She _knew_ she shouldn't be the one reacting like this, she already had previously. It was Lapis' turn. But she couldn't stop the way her heart ached from the confession - she didn't even know _why_ her heart ached. Maybe she was afraid of losing two friends who were really the same person.

 _Killing two birds with one stone_ , she thought sourly as she turned away slightly from Lapis.

It didn't matter. Lapis slowly climbed to her feet and took hesitant steps to the front of Peridot. She uncertainly held her arms out, as if to touch Peridot's arms.

"Is it really you?" she whispered, like she was uttering a forbidden prayer.

"Yes," she replied through gritted teeth. She could feel her throat clenching and her eyes stinging - it felt so good to admit it, so why did she feel like crying?

Lapis choked back a laugh, but it came out as a distorted cry. "I can't believe it. It makes so much sense now and…"

Silence fell between them as Lapis could no longer continue her train of thought, her tears threatening to spill. Maybe she didn't need to talk.

Walking slowly closer to Peridot, whom had her fists clenched and was glaring at the sand covering her one shoe and bare foot, she gently wrapped her arms around the petite girl. At first, nothing happened - there was no reaction from either of them. But then, Lapis felt her counterpart's body tremble, she heard sniffles, felt her flannel shirt dampen, and she clutched Peridot closer.

Peridot was mad that she was sobbing into her friends' shirt, but she couldn't stop the emotions from flowing out her body, nor the words.

"God, I'm so glad I have you," Peridot whimpered through sobs, clenching her fingers around Lapis' loose flannel. "I don't know how this ever happened, how you became Winter, or how Winter became you, but I'm thanking every single fucking god out there right now."

"Me too, my space nerd," Lapis mumbled into Peridot's wild hair, feeling tears wetting her face. She let out a strangled snort-laugh. "Why are we crying about this, we should be happy nerds."

"I am happy. I am so so happy, glad, contented, merry, excited, delighted, and thrilled. I get to have my best friend in person."

"I feel like I'm dreaming," Lapis whispered into Peridot's hair, then started genuinely snort-laughing. "I can't believe this is real! Two of my favourite people merging into one!"

Peridot gently pulled away from the hug, staring up at Lapis with wide eyes. "I'm your favourite person? Twice?"

"Of course you are, dork," Lapis assured, grabbing ahold of one of Peridot's wrists, and tenderly wiped the tears away from Peridot's face with her other hand. "So that's why you were avoiding me. I thought it was because of what you admitted just before, but this makes sense. How'd you find out? Wait—when I gave you my deviantART? Oh man. Thank you so much for telling me, Peri. I don't think I've ever been this happy before. _God_ , I'm overjoyed, if anything. I mean, I've only known you for two weeks but it feels so good to know that _you_ are my space nerd."

"We're just emotional wacky-sacks right now, aren't we?" Peridot joked, returning the gesture and wiping the tears away from Lapis' face (though she had to put more effort into it, at her height).

"Yeah, we are," Lapis affirmed, smiling warmly at Peridot. "Come on, let's go back. We can't have everyone thinking we're making out or something."

_And she's back._

Peridot's face flared up, and Lapis couldn't help laughing at how adorable she looked flustered. As Lapis gently tugged her back to the beach house, Peridot couldn't help but think one thing.

_I won't be dancing by myself anymore._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of Act I...


	10. Love Like You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act I: Revelations  
> Act II: Building Relationships  
> Act III: .. something else

Love Like You

Delicate hands fiddled with the fragile cables and hardware keeping the structure intact; the fingers darting in and out of small crevices in the device carefully. Peridot stared at her own short yet somewhat slender fingers and heaved a long sigh, plonking her upper body on the cool wooden table unceremoniously.

"Peridot, we don't have the time to be lazy," Pearl chided, and Peridot could almost _hear_ the frown in her voice. Groaning, the blonde shoved herself onto her elbows, cradling her face in the palms of her hands.

She reverted her gaze back to Pearl's hands dancing around the frail device, the spindly fingers toying around with it unnecessarily. Trailing her line her vision back up to Pearl's face, she gave a small smile at the other girl's dedication face - distracted eyes with her tongue poking out of her mouth slightly.

"We have _some_ time to be lazy," Peridot countered. "We're way ahead of everyone else, and the deadline isn't for a week or two."

"Yes, well, with our recent… distractions, we can't be sure if we'll have all the time in the world to work on this." With the hand now grasping a small screwdriver, she gestured to the electronic device in her other hand.

Peridot arched an eyebrow questioningly. "Distractions?"

"You know…" Pearl trailed off, a small blush tinging her cheeks. "Rose and Lapis."

_Oh_. Now she understood.

"Yes, alright," Peridot agreed only half-heartedly, because in all honestly, she wanted an excuse not to work right now.

It was Thursday afternoon, straight after their Robotics club period, and Peridot agreed that Pearl and herself needed time to work on their little creation outside of school. Of course, Peridot agreed before the whole mess with Lapis on the weekend. If she hadn't planned to see Pearl, or had a growing stack of homework, she probably would've been spending the afternoon with Lapis.

Maybe.

Focusing back on the device that was keeping her away from a social life she never thought she'd be eager for, Peridot straightened herself. "Alright, you want me to help with that or work on the programming?"

"I've got this covered, you can work on the programming."

Peridot was used to that arrangement; Pearl was better at the grittier work, despite being one of the most dainty girls she knew. It was amusing and strange to her, how someone so careful and precise couldn't care less if she got her hands covered in oil and metaphorical dirt.

_I suppose you need to be careful and precise if you're working with tiny electronics._

Peridot, on the other hand, was the computer girl. Whilst Pearl's fingers were fast and adaptable to machinery, electronics and many other things, Peridot's were better working a keyboard and mouse, especially if it was solving whatever the heck was wrong with her code.

With an irritated sigh to herself, she dragged her tablet out of her bag and opened up the necessary applications. She much preferred to programme on her computer, but she didn't have a laptop, and refused her mother's attempts at buying her one. Honestly, she hated being spoilt - she didn't need any more than a good desktop computer and a tablet for the go.

Pearl seemed to pick up on Peridot's displeased sigh, and exhaled too. "We can take a break if you really want to."

"Thank you," Peridot gratefully whined, falling back into the wooden chair she was perched in. "I'm tired of working on this project."

"Well, what would you like to do instead?" Pearl asked kindly, gazing off into the kitchen and getting her own ideas. "We could bake?"

Peridot scoffed. "I said I wanted to relax, not work more."

"Well, I find baking relaxing," Pearl defended, pouting.

"Your ideas of relaxing are physical exertion."

Pearl giggled a little. "Hey, baking isn't that tiring."

"I was referencing your habit for dancing and fencing, too."

"I'm a woman of many talents."

Peridot snorted and waved a hand, brushing the subject away. "Let's just relax in your room or something."

"Would you like a drink first?" Pearl suggested, already leaping off her chair and striding over to her kitchen. With her long legs, it only took two or three steps.

Peridot groaned jokingly. "Fine, but I'm not just a house-guest, I'm your friend too."

"I know. Would you like tea, coffee, hot chocolate or a soft drink?"

"I don't think I've ever had that many options in my life before now," Peridot mocked, humming in thought for effect. "I'll just have a soda."

Pearl motioned to the fridge, indicating that Peridot could choose whatever she wanted whilst she brewed her own tea. It was funny how close Peridot came with Pearl and her family over the last two years; when she first met the taller dork's family, she kept her attitude in line and filtered every word and action she had. Now, she strolled around her friend's house more casually than she did at home.

Pulling out a can of Sprite, she asked, "Where are your parents anyway?"

"They're spending the last of the summer weather at the beach," Pearl replied alter taking a sip of her tea. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. It's weird, your house in complete silence. I'm so used to seeing your parents around."

"I have to enjoy it while it lasts." With a quick nod to her bedroom, Pearl scampered off, Peridot rushing to keep up with her long strides. When she entered the room, she crumpled face-first into Pearl's pastel pink and blue double bed, much to the other girl's annoyance.

"Careful, you'll spill your drink!" she scolded, prying the can from Peridot's fingers and placing it on her bedside table. Pearl only heard a muffled groan in return.

After a few seconds, Peridot shoved herself up for a breath of fresh air, flopping onto her back and staring at the white ceiling. If she hadn't already done so a thousand times already, she would've stared at Pearl's collection of swords on the walls. Her parents were great to an extent, but Peridot still couldn't believe they let her keep _actual_ weapons in her room.

Peridot heard Pearl take another sip of her tea before she fell onto her back beside her, humming happily.

"You still haven't told me what happened between you and Lapis Saturday night," she remarked, threading her hands together on her lap.

"Oh, well…" Peridot trailed off, glad Pearl couldn't see the blush forming on her cheeks. "It was, uh, a b-bit of a sentimental reunion."

"You don't want to talk about it?" Pearl questioned softly.

"I-I do! It was just very, um, unusual for me."

"Unusual how?"

Peridot fidgeted on the bed, absentmindedly curling her fingers around the duvet. "I heard what you said on the bus to Garnet. I think Lapis _is_ conditioning me t-to touching. When she followed me outside after I ran off, I fell into her arms, Pearl! I legitimately hugged her!"

"You even hugged me," Pearl breathed. "It is unusual, but I'm happy you're opening up. I never thought Lapis would be the one to make you open up, though."

Peridot seemingly ignored what Pearl said. "And… then I cried into her. What's happening to me, Pearl?"

"You're growing up," Pearl simply replied. "Did anything else happen between you and Lapis?"

Peridot sighed heavily. "Yeah."

* * *

Everyone's eyes pried at the pair when they sauntered through the doorway with bloodshot eyes and grains of sand sticking to their feet.

"So, what happ—" Amethyst began, but her mouth was abruptly shut by Garnet's hand. Peridot was instantly grateful for that. She had no problems telling her friends about her situation with Lapis, but she wasn't ready to admit that she sobbed like a child who had their candy stolen.

Pearl seemed to pick up on that, and intervened before Amethyst could pry again. "Should we continue playing our game, or settle for the night?"

"Definitely settle," Garnet affirmed, removing her hand away from Amethyst's mouth and scowling at the slobber covering it. Amethyst sent her a childish grin, but refrained from prying about Peridot and Lapis, both of which were still standing in the doorway. Peridot clutched onto Lapis' forearm, but made no other contact.

"Alright, Amethyst, will you come help me bring out the mattresses?" Rose asked, gently lifting Pearl off her lap and ambling towards the hallway.

Amethyst groaned, but complied. "Yeah, sure."

When the two quartz-named girls left the room, Peridot finally collapsed back into her seat, followed by Lapis.

"Are you okay Peridot?" Pearl questioned, guilt stinging her eyes. "I didn't mean to make you upset. I'm sorry."

"I'm okay," Peridot half-lied, shooting Lapis a glance. "We're okay."

Pearl nodded and sunk into the seat her and Rose had shared.

There was a certain mood hanging in the air, as if it was universally agreed to not ask questions about Peridot's retreat and Lapis' chasing after her. Peridot was not always the best at deciphering body language, and certainly not foreign emotions, but she could see the curiosity in everyone's eyes. Except maybe Garnet; even though she had her shades off, as she did around close friends, her amber eyes only shined with patience and quiet encouragement.

Muffled grunting and hushed huffing sounded throughout the room as Amethyst and Rose dragged out a double size mattress. They carried it up the small flight of stairs and to the loft, dropping it in between the television and the couch-bed already there.

"There's one more mattress we'll get, so there'll be two people per mattress," Rose announced, already making her way down the stairs and back to the hallway. "Is everyone okay with that?"

Surprisingly, Peridot didn't internally freak out. She didn't panic about having to share with anyone. She didn't worry about Lapis making her uncomfortable.

Okay, admittedly, her heart did thud a little louder in her chest, but she _was_ okay with the arrangement. Maybe it was because she knew Lapis was too.

Peridot nodded her head at Rose, whom was directing the question to her, and the taller girl smiled. A minute later, the third mattress was up on the loft, squished against the other mattress on the floor. Garnet and Pearl followed behind, cradling blankets and duvets to their chests. Peridot thought to make herself useful and grabbed a bunch of pillows from the storage cupboard, beckoning Lapis over to carry a few too.

When the bedding was organised (which looked like a sleepover haven, with pillows and blankets strewn everywhere), Peridot rushed off to change into her PJs. She took the bathroom, assuming everyone else took one of the bedrooms to change as well. Except maybe a few brave people, she thought. Like Rose.

Fitting on her white shorts with green alien heads on them, and a black Assassin's Creed shirt, Peridot trudged back out into the living room, tucking her 'good' clothes under her arm. When she stuffed them into her bag, she felt the hairs on her neck prickle, like she was being watched. Whipping her head around, she gave Garnet a questioning look, whom was now wearing a red singlet and black trackies.

"Nice shorts," she commented, her lips curling up lightly, and gave her a thumbs up. Peridot blushed slightly.

"Th-thanks," she replied, glancing down at her bare shins and knee long shorts, then leapt up to the loft. Rose and Amethyst were laying on the mattresses, and sent Peridot warm smiles (which surprised her, coming from Amethyst).

"Do you and Lapis want to share the bed?" Rose asked, signalling at the couch-bed cozied up against the wall.

"Are you sure?" Peridot quickly replied, uncertainty in her tone. "Don't you and Pearl want that?"

Rose giggled. "I'm sure."

"Oh, okay. Thank you." Peridot quickly scrambled onto the bed, sliding under the blue-grey duvet and blanket.

With nothing else to say until someone else spoke up, Peridot pulled out her phone and began distracting herself scrolling through Tumblr. She registered some quiet chatter between Rose and Amethyst, but didn't bother prying her eyes away from her phone until someone sunk into the bed beside her.

Peridot gazed at Lapis, whom was wearing a dark grey pullover hoodie and pastel blue trackies.

"Won't you be hot wearing two layers under the blankets?" she questioned, frowning a little at the Lapis' attire.

"I'm not wearing anything under my hoodie," Lapis bluntly stated, but smiled devilishly as Peridot began to blush.

"Oh," was all she managed to squeak, then quickly turned away.

"Alright, so who wants a movie night?" Amethyst queried loudly as Pearl and Garnet trudged up the stairs and slumped onto the mattresses on the floor. Garnet was carrying two bowls of chips, and Pearl, for some reason, had a platter of cheese and crackers.

"What movies you got?" Lapis asked, crawling to the foot of the bed and lying on her stomach. Peridot inched closer to Lapis, crossing her legs and hugging the blanket to her petite body.

"A bunch of comedies, and the new Captain America," Amethyst answered, digging into her bag and pulling out a stack of DVDs. "Man Up, Date Night, Crazy Stupid Love, The Boss, Central Intelligence, Deadpool, and Zoolander 2."

"I vote for the Marvel movies," Lapis announced.

"Everyone's seen Deadpool by now, haven't they?" Peridot questioned, then added, "Plus, Captain America: Civil War will spoil the previous movies if anyone hasn't seen them."

Lapis pouted at Peridot. "Fine, my third vote is for Central Intelligence."

Apparently everyone else agreed with that choice, and Amethyst slotted in the disc into the TV.

Watching the movie was rather uneventful, with only a bit of chatter here and there regarding the plot and jokes. Lapis scooted closer to Peridot half-way through the movie, but that's all she registered until the end neared.

Taking a hand full of chips, Peridot leant back into the bed frame and snuggled under the covers. She sent Lapis a shy smile when she followed her lead. As the credits rolled out, Peridot barely noticed that she had her head resting against Lapis' shoulder and the warm, slender hand wrapped around hers under the duvet.

"Well, I think it's time to hit the sack," Amethyst proposed after yawning.

"I agree," Pearl chimed in as she stretched and curled into Rose's arms. Garnet sent Peridot and Lapis a glance, and smiled slightly at the two comfortably resting against each other.

The television flickered out of life, and the house was sent into darkness, save for the beams of moonlight shed through the windows.

Peridot heard her friends whisper to each other for a few minutes before Lapis whispered into her ear.

"I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable."

Peridot shuddered at the breath electrifying her nerves.

"Of course you're not," she replied in a hushed tone. To emphasis her words, she snuggled closer into Lapis' body. Unfortunately though, that _did_ make her uncomfortable, and she retreated back to just resting her head against Lapis' body.

"I understand if you're not comfortable with me, Peridot," Lapis soothed, retracting her hand from the other girl's and placing both of hers on her stomach. "You don't have to force yourself to do anything just to appease me. I understand now, after what you told me."

"I'm _not_ uncomfortable with you," Peridot reassured, but sighed. "I never told you, but I'm not used to touching. I've never liked it much. But I want to like it."

Lapis remained silent for a while. "So I've been forcing you into uncomfortable positions ever since I met you? Why didn't you tell me that you don't like people touching you? I would've respected that."

"Because I want to like people touching me. I don't want to be closed off my entire life."

Lapis quietly snorted. "You think if people touch you more, you'll get used to it?"

"Yeah," Peridot admitted, sighing again.

"Okay. If I ever make you uncomfortable, you'll tell me, right?"

"I will."

"How about we have a codeword, to make it easier?"

"Heh, okay. How about…" Peridot glanced at her shirt, even though she couldn't see it in the dark and under the covers. "Templars?"

"That's incredibly geeky of you to suggest," Lapis mocked. "I thought you would suggest something easy, like 'red light' or something."

"The Templars wear red," Peridot reasoned, blushing a little bit.

"So do the Assassins. But we can keep it if you like."

"I like it, as if touching Templars is a wrong doing."

"Tenets of the Creed; stay your blade away from innocents, hide in plain sight, never compromise the Brotherhood, and never touch a Templar. Ever."

Peridot chuckled, but bit on her tongue when she remembered there were other people in the room. "Tell that to Arno."

"I haven't played _Unity_ yet, so don't spoil it," Lapis warned.

"Will do."

After a moment of silence, Peridot felt Lapis' hand ghosting over her waist, and her throat clenched.

"Templars?" Lapis suggested.

Peridot shook her head, but realised that wouldn't be easily understood in the dark, and whispered, "No."

Lapis hand strayed over Peridot's stomach and wrapped around her waist as she turned on her side. At Peridot's silence, she snuggled into Peridot's hair and sighed.

If it was anyone else, except maybe Pearl (though Peridot thought that would be weird), she would've said the safety word right there and then. But she trusted Lapis; maybe not as much as online Lapis, but she knew she would eventually get used to her offline version.

Somehow, with her heart thumping in her throat and heated cheeks, Peridot managed to fall asleep.

* * *

A few moments passed before either of them said anything.

"You two are progressing fast," Pearl stated. "I'm happy for you."

"Thank you," Peridot replied with a blush, brushing her sweaty palms on her shirt. Retelling that night still made her nervous and flustered. "I asked if she wanted to sit with us again, but to no avail."

Pearl piece it together. "So you've been sitting with Lapis at breaks?" she asked, but it sounded more like a realisation.

"Yeah, sometimes. I don't want her to be lonely."

"It's okay, Peridot. We're all happy for you," Pearl reassured, humming contentedly.

Peridot sat herself upright, tired of staring at the ceiling, and reached out for her drink. She took a sip of the extremely sweet soda and glanced at Pearl relaxing beside her, smiling warmly when she noticed the other girl was daydreaming, her eyes closed and a small smile on her lips.

"So how are you and Rose going?" Peridot asked, eyeing the patterns on the duvet as she took another sip.

Pearl's eyes flickered open. "Oh, we're going f-fine."

"Just fine?"

"Yes. Well, I suppose better than fine." Pearl paused, biting her lip softly. "She's so perfect, Peridot. She treats me like I'm worth everything, but that's what _I'm_ good at doing. Like, I'm the knight and she's the princess, though she's definitely capable of protecting herself." Pearl wrapped her arms around her waist. "I don't want to ever let Rose go."

"Maybe Rose should be here instead of me," Peridot joked.

"I care about you too, Peridot," Pearl scoffed, but placed her hand on top of Peridot's free one. "Seriously. I won't forget about you."

Peridot blushed a little at the genuine compliment. "Th-thank you."

Comfortable silence fell over them for a minute. Peridot thought about Lapis to distract herself, and she suspected Pearl was daydreaming about Rose. Now that Peridot had admitted she was Lapis' online friend, she had changed a bit. It was like the flirtatious facade the blue-haired enigma owned had fell down. Suddenly, she was emotional and sensitive towards Peridot, though there were a few playful comments thrown here and there. She supposed it was because Lapis didn't want to lose her either, now that her online identity was revealed. Or maybe this was her way of reacting to the news. Peridot was just thankful Lapis didn't have a panic attack like herself.

Peridot was briefly dragged out of her thoughts when Pearl began humming a soft tune. She gazed at the other girl, her eyes closed again and her fingers tapping slowly with each hum. When words softly left Pearl's lips, Peridot listened, intrigued.

" _If I could, begin to be. Half of what, you think of me. I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love._ "

Peridot found herself thinking of Pearl's and Rose's relationship, how happy they seemed with each other, and wondered what the lyrics could mean.

_Does Pearl think of herself lowly?_

Peridot shook that thought, deciding to just listen to Pearl's vocals. Honestly, Peridot always admired her singing talent - her voice was as soothing as a creek trickling through a forest.

" _When I see, the way you act, wondering when I'm coming back. I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love, like you._ "

Peridot thought of Lapis' arms around her waist at that moment, and thought that maybe the song wasn't just for one person, but everyone could relate to it. Heck, maybe she'd learn to care like Lapis one day.

" _I always thought, I might be bad. Now I'm sure that it's true. 'Cause, I think you're so good, and I'm nothing like you._ "

Peridot bit her lip at those lines; she used to feel that way about everyone.

" _Look at you go, I just adore you. I wish that I knew, what makes you think I'm so special._ "

" _If I could begin to do, something that does right by you. I would do about anything, I would even learn how to love._ "

By now, Peridot hummed along too. Honestly, the more Pearl sang, the more she thought of Lapis. Maybe she needed to admit something.

" _When I see, the way you look, shaken by how long it took. I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love, like you. Love, like you…_ "

The room fell into silence, and Peridot held her breath.

"That… was beautiful," she admitted.

Pearl flicked her eyes open, smiling shyly at Peridot and blushing slightly. "It was?"

"Is that how you feel about Rose?"

Pearl looked away, opting to stare at the pillows on her bed. "Yes, b-but… I think anyone would feel that way about someone, some time in their life."

Peridot frowned a little. "Why do you feel that way about Rose?"

Pearl choked back a laugh. "Because she's so amazing, and I don't think I am… I love her, Peridot, but the way she cares about me is something else."

"I think you're pretty great, so I think that Rose is right. You are amazing." Pearl glanced at Peridot, and the blonde swore she saw stars in those watery eyes.

"Really?"

"Yes, really." Peridot fidgeted slightly, wanting to distract Pearl before the tears overflowed. She didn't want her to cry, even if they were happy tears. "Your song made me feel something."

"What did it make you feel?" Pearl asked, wiping her hand over her eyes.

"It made me think of Lapis, and how she cares about me. I simultaneously have known her for a year, and three weeks, and it's just so odd how easily she latched onto me. Maybe it was more of a joke, or maybe she just wanted a friend when she first met me, or maybe it really was just because she found me interesting, but now… It's a different kind of attachment, like she's nostalgic for me."

Peridot breathed deeply. "She's amazing too. She might be cocky and tease me a lot, but she could've easily kept pushing me away. But she stayed, and now she cares."

"So how do you feel about Lapis?" Pearl asked warmly.

Peridot bit her lip. "I think I still have those questionable feelings."

Pearl laughed knowingly. "If my song made you feel something about Lapis, I don't think those feelings are _questionable_ anymore."

"Yeah… Maybe you're right."

Maybe feelings _weren't_ a weakness, for they made Peridot feel warm and content.


	11. Rising Tide

Rising Tide

The weather forecast predicted this Sunday to be the last of the summer weather before the town was plunged into cool autumn weather. Lapis had been initially disappointed; the dubbed Beach City was renowned for the epic swimming weather and of course, the beautiful bay. But when she thought of the cooler weather kicking, days prolonged with rain, and huddling up inside with a hot beverage or searching for inspiration in the dazzling wet weather, she couldn’t help smiling.

But nevertheless, the last good day of summer weather needed to be spent wisely. So when Peridot was easily convinced to venture to her house, she couldn’t deny the fact that she had chosen well.

Lapis was getting her bearings on her absurd behaviour over the last week. Yes, she was overexcited to know her closest online friend in the real world, but it was no excuse to become a sobbing and emotional mess. Those feelings were cooped up for a reason.

But now, she felt a sense of ease and comfort around the peculiar dork, like the initial sense of chaos and unfamiliarity had washed away. It was certainly a nice change of pace compared to her rising tide of emotions threatening to bubble out. But it was beginning to worry Lapis.

She questioned herself with each passing day why she had become so clingy to Peridot. The obvious answer was infatuation, and she had no trouble denying that. The blonde nerd was unbearably cute, and she could see she purity within her; despite her obvious lack of people skills, she tried really hard to please others. That was something to admire. It was also something to miss.

Maybe she needed someone pure to replace what she lost long ago.

_Now is not the time to dwell on the past._

Lapis stretched, relishing the sun gleaming against her skin, and sent Peridot a giddy smile as she strolled outside behind her.

“Did you bring your bathers?” she asked, and feeling the heat of the bricks fry the soles of her feet, she took hasty steps towards the shade.

“Yeah,” Peridot replied, staring down at her body sheepishly.

“Do you want to go for a swim now?”

Peridot shrugged, then gazed back up, giving Lapis an uncertain glance.

“Well, you can come join me when you feel like it,” Lapis suggested, and began tugging her white singlet over her shoulders. When she threw her shirt onto one of the poolside chairs, she snuck a peek at Peridot, grinning devilishly. The nerd was not-so-inconspicuously staring at a point on her back, blushing furiously, and Lapis was thrilled by that.

She adjusted her blue bikini top, and pulled her short, light blue boardies up to her waist, unconcerned about the hairs on her legs poking out. Sending Peridot another mischievous glance, she leapt into her swimming pool, taking pleasure in the cool liquid warping around her body and sending her nerves on fire at the sudden temperature drop. As long as she didn’t think of memories, she would be fine.

When she breached, Peridot was staring at where she had disappeared under the water. Lapis paddled over to the edge of the pool, crossing her arms over the burning bricks and flicking her wet fringe out of her face. 

“You okay there, P-dork?” Lapis questioned, raising an eyebrow at the nerd’s shocked expression.

“I’m good!” she squeaked back, laughing nervously.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah! But I’ll just, um, sit back here a bit while you swim.”

Lapis was already beginning to devise reasons for Peridot’s wacky behaviour. _Maybe she doesn’t like showing skin, like she dislikes touching? Maybe she’s self-conscious? Maybe she doesn’t know how to swim? Maybe it’s that time of the month?_

Lapis’ curiosity got the better of her.

“Hey, if something’s wrong, you can tell me, y’know?” Lapis encouraged as she kicked off the pool wall, floating on her back.

After what seemed like minutes, Peridot finally replied. “I’m not a very good swimmer.”

_Ah, so that’s it._

“Hey, that’s okay. There’s a shallow end, and I can help you if you like,” Lapis offered, sending Peridot a concerned smile as she returned back to the ledge.

“How can you help me?” Peridot asked dubiously, propping her elbows on her knees and leaning into the palms of her hands.

“Well, I can teach you some techniques or something.” From her position on her ledge, it was difficult to shrug, but she tried anyways.

After another moment of silence, Peridot sighed. “Okay, I’m coming in.” She slipped off her light green thongs, and padded her bare feet across to the steps lurching underwater, noticeably clutching onto her shirt with both of her hands. As she dipped her feet in on the first two steps, Lapis floated over to her, gazing at her questioningly.

“Are you gonna swim with your shirt on?” she asked, vaguely waving her arm at the pastel green shirt with ‘Weekends are better’ written on it in black.

“Yeah?” Peridot responded rather defensively, her cheeks blushing slightly.

Lapis raised her eyebrow once again. “Whatever suits you.”

Peridot frowned, but plunged deeper, the water rising up past her knee-length white and black alien print boardies (Lapis guessed by now that this girl loved aliens). As the water was threatening to wet her shirt, she suddenly stopped with an annoyed expression.

“Wait, I don’t have any dry shirts with me,” Peridot stated, and sighed. “Don’t make fun of me okay?”

“Why would I make fun of you?” Lapis worriedly asked as Peridot turned away from her, pulling her shirt over her body and making her way back up the steps to place it on the poolside chairs. As she returned, she shrugged, her cheeks still red from blushing.

“I don’t know,” she admitted, wrapping her arms around her stomach.

Lapis glanced over Peridot’s body, admiring her petite yet curvy shape, and inwardly laughed at the fact her bikini was _of course_ , green.

“You shouldn’t be ashamed of your body, it looks good,” Lapis complimented, and started swimming backwards, waggling a finger at Peridot to join her.

Peridot’s blush deepened and she stared down at the water lapping at her waist, probably to conceal it. “Oh, um, th-thanks.” After a moment of hesitation, she followed Lapis, raising her arms as the water crawled up her stomach and to her underarms.

“See? The water’s nice,” Lapis mused. “Would you like me to teach you some techniques, or are you happy just floating around the shallow end?”

“It’s okay, you don’t need to teach me anything,” Peridot assured as she began stepping towards Lapis. She stared at her in disbelief as she struggled to keep her head above the water.

“C’mon, let me help,” Lapis urged, but didn’t bother waiting for an answer as she slipped her hands under the water, trailing one over Peridot’s back, the other on her stomach, as she lifted her up to the surface. “You just gotta float, and when you’re not moving, you gotta kick your legs back and forth, and kinda make circles with your arms.”

“Lazuli, put me down,” Peridot snapped as her blush reddened, seemingly ignoring Lapis’ advice.

“And let you drown? Sure,” she snorted sarcastically, but let go anyway. “You just gotta do this to float.”

Lapis began treading water, sending Peridot an encouraging smile as she began to keep herself afloat. “Yeah you’re doing good! Do you know any swimming styles?”

“I kinda know freestyle? And I’ve seen that butterfly one too and… doggy paddling,” she admitted, demonstrating her capabilities as she paddled herself over to where her toes could touch the bottom. “But it’s okay, I think I’ll just stick to the shallow end.”

“Alright.” Lapis sent her a warm smile, then dived under the water, enjoying the water sweeping through her hair once again. When she surfaced, a thought occurred to her. “Hey, do you want a pool floaty toy thing?”

Peridot seemed somewhat excited by this. “Hey, yeah! I’d love that!”

Lapis swam past Peridot and launched up the steps, sauntering over to the small wooden ‘shed’ nestled into the corner of the pool fence. She dragged out a white pool ring printed with yellow ducks, an inflatable crocodile, and a regular transparent blue inflatable chair.

“Take your pick.”

She watched Peridot eagerly flick through her options with amusement; the way the dork would open her mouth to choose one, then quickly shut it, as if mentally debating with herself, was honestly adorable.

“I would choose the crocodile, because frankly, that’s pretty freakin’ awesome, but I’d probably slip off it. So I have to choose the donut; those yellow ducks won’t stop staring at me,” Peridot reasoned, and then outstretched her arms as she made her final decision. Lapis snorted at the grabby hands, but threw the ring into the pool for Peridot.

As the dork scrambled for the inflatable toy, Lapis dived back into the water, disliking the way it made her whole body shiver when it wasn’t surrounding her, only leaving a coat on her skin. As she resurfaced, she swam to where Peridot was floating in the water and noticed she was taking relaxation to a whole new level.

Poking her in the arm gently, Lapis couldn’t help but let her mind drift to conversation topics about their history. “I need a recap of everything we’ve told each other over the past year.”

Peridot’s eyes glazed over for a few seconds before she snapped back to reality. “I don’t think my memory serves me that well that I can remember _everything_.”

“Probably,” Lapis agreed, “but a small recap would be nice.”

Peridot held up her index finger and stared Lapis straight in the eyes. “Well, if we’re on the topic of discussing our past, there’s one thing I want to know first. I’ve noticed you’re very comfortable in this house of yours, which is kinda rare for someone who just moved in. So, how long have you been living here for? And what school did you go to before ours? And why—”

“Woah, woah, one question at a time,” Lapis interrupted, then swam over to the ledge to hold herself up. “I moved schools, but I never moved house. This place was relatively close to both schools, so Mum and I decided it would be better to just stay here. So I’ve been here for… five or six years?”

“Wow, I can’t believe I’ve never met you before this year, considering you only live 20 or so minutes away,” Peridot considered.

“We’re both reclusive nerds, so yeah, I can believe it,” Lapis retorted playfully.

“Whatever. So what school did you go to before ours?”

“Keystone Senior High,” Lapis answered, her tone dull. At Peridot’s confusion, she explained further. “It’s on the outskirts of Beach City, we would’ve passed it on the way to the city last Saturday.”

“Oh, okay! If it’s close by, and you didn’t move house, then why did you change schools?” Peridot asked, intrigued on piecing the puzzle together.

Lapis froze, glaring at the pavement her arms were resting against. “Bad shit.”

Peridot seemingly felt the air tense and quickly tried to change the subject, which Lapis appreciated. “Oh, uh. Your house is quite blue.”

Lapis snorted at the topic of choice. “Of course it is, why else would my mum call herself Blue Diamond?”

Peridot groaned loudly. “Are you serious!? Your mother does it too?”

“What does your mum call herself?”

Peridot groaned again. “Yellow Diamond. Why is everyone in this forsaken town obsessed with gemstones!? Why can’t it be a flower or bird obsession?”

“Yeah, I know right?” Lapis responded, snorting again. “Though a flower obsession would be pretty boring. Maybe a whale obsession would be cool?”

“Or crocodile,” Peridot provided as she glanced at the inflatable crocodile still strewn across the pavement surrounding the pool.

Lapis’ mind wandered off to the topic of diamonds. If Peridot’s mother really did work with hers, then did she know other coworkers? It was highly likely, but Lapis really didn’t want to talk about that subject. Her curiosity could wait.

Instead, she tried to think of conversations she had with Peridot online, gathering up all the facts she knew about her. When barely any came to her, she sighed.

“Peri, you should give me a recap of everything I should know about you,” Lapis encouraged, raising her eyebrows up and down for effect. “I’ll give you a recap of me too afterwards.”

Peridot frowned a little. “Alright, but I don’t remember every little detail. Do you want, like, everything? Even the basics of my personality?”

“You can brush over everything I already know from meeting you in person, like you being a blushy dork.”

Peridot frowned deeper at that, trying to conceal the redness to her cheeks, and cleared her throat. “Okay. I’m Peridot, obviously, and I’m a 17 year old girl born and raised in the US. My favourite game of all time is The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim, followed closely by Spyro: Year of the Dragon and the Assassin’s Creed franchise. My favourite genre of music is EDM - electronic dance music - but I don’t have a favourite producer.”

“Last year I was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome, or more commonly known as autism spectrum disorder. A year before that, it was obvious I was prone to panic attacks in stressful situations. I also love aliens, outer space, sci-fi and superhero movies, the show Camp Pining Hearts and… reading romantic fictions.”

Peridot had her eyes closed the entire time during her monologue, and flickered them open as she finished, glancing at Lapis warily. “Was that good?”

“Aw, I was expectin’ more juicy stuff,” Lapis complained, “but that was alright. I suppose it’s my turn now.” She took a deep breath, hastily trying to remember details she’d told Peridot before.

“I’m Lapis Lazuli, a lame person who probably looks more punk than I actually am. Hint, I’m actually a huge fuckin’ nerd. I love listening to music, writing, drawing, playing my guitar, and playing games. My favourite genre of music is indie rock, and my favourite band is probably PVRIS. As for games, Life is Strange really stole my heart, along with the aesthetic in Ókami.”

“I live only with my mum, but my dad visits me often. He usually brings… unwanted company. That would be my half-sister, but I would rather stay away from that subject. I also have the wackiest emotional state, so that’s a huge warning, but you probably already figured that out from my erratic behaviour over the past three weeks.”

Peridot hummed in thought. “I know you said to stay away from that, but didn’t you mention your half-sister two weeks ago?”

“Probably.” Lapis shrugged, but gave no further answer. She said she didn’t want to talk about Jasper for a reason. “So you like reading romance stories, huh?”

Peridot blushed, and span around in her donut to distract herself, or possibly Lapis. “Yeah…”

“But you’ve never dated anyone,” Lapis replied, a small smug smile tugging her lips.

“And?” she snapped defensively.

“Well, you don’t seem like a person who likes romance. Wait.” Lapis scrunched up her face a bit, trying to think back to a conversation she had with Peridot. “Didn’t you say you had a crush on someone?”

Peridot blushed harder at this. “I-I, uh, no?” As if she couldn’t possibly evade the question more, she crawled out of the inflatable ring and trudged to the poolside chairs, sinking into one of them and gazing away from Lapis.

“You’re a terrible liar,” Lapis commented as she watched Peridot from the pool ledge. When Peridot only stiffened and gave no reply, Lapis pulled herself out of the water and sauntered over to where the other girl was sitting, grabbing a towel from the chair behind her and wrapping it around her wet body. She noticed Peridot had tugged her shirt back on.

“C’mon, I won’t tell anyone,” Lapis insisted, nudging Peridot in the shoulder.

“How good’s your memory?” Peridot asked instead, briefly glancing up to look at her.

“Uh, probably not bad.”

“I’ve got a really good memory.”

Lapis arched an eyebrow. “You don’t have to evade the question. I’m not going to think lower of you if you do have a crush on someone. Everyone has crushes.”

Lapis noticed Peridot’s fists clenching into her shirt. “Well, I don’t know! Maybe I do, maybe I don’t,” she half-shouted.

“If this is a sensitive subject, we don’t have to talk about it,” Lapis offered in a soft voice, trying to appear non-threatening.

Peridot remained silent. 

“How about you tell me about this Camp Pining Hearts? I like it when you rant, it’s super dorky and cute.”

Peridot still remained silent. Lapis frowned concernedly; she was sure mentioning her presumably favourite show would get her ranting. That, or calling her cute.

“Peridot?”

“I’m not lying when I say I’m not sure if I have a crush or not. But I know whatever I feel, it’s for you.”

Lapis reeled back in shock, which in turn made Peridot flinch away, flustered. With wide eyes, she spluttered out, “Wait, wait, it’s not what you think! It’s j-just, when you were just Winter, you meant everything to me, and that’s hard to a-admit. And when you were just Lapis, you were an enigma who kept enticing me into situations I never knew how to feel about. You m-made - _make_ \- me feel a lot of things and I guess what I’m trying to say is… I appreciate your existence.”

Lapis froze on the spot, her fingers clawing into the towel around her body. “Now that I’m both Winter and Lapis, do I still mean everything to you?”

“Yes,” Peridot immediately replied, gazing at the bricks between her feet.

Lapis felt her the empty space in her chest tighten, her throat clench, and the all-to-familiar stinging sensation in her eyes. Slowly, sensitively, she draped an arm around Peridot’s shoulder, and then wrapped her other arm around her into a tight hug.

“Templars?” she whispered into Peridot’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, Lapis.”

_But it doesn’t feel okay._

As those words migrated into her thoughts, she tightened her grip on Peridot and sucked in a sharp breath. She almost snorted at the thought of bursting Peridot with her grip, but kept it suppressed. She’d never been someone’s everything before and she certainly wasn’t going to ruin it with her laugh she loathed.

“I appreciate your existence too,” Lapis breathed as she let go of her deathtrap of a hug on Peridot. As she pulled away she quickly wiped at her eyes, concealing the mess of emotions screaming to pour out.

“Are you okay?” Peridot asked concernedly, turning to face her completely and crossing her legs underneath her.

“I’m fine,” Lapis instantly replied emotionlessly, but let out a small constricted laugh.

_Don’t let the emotions out._

_Don’t._

“Y’know, when I was talking to you as Winter two weeks ago, I told you that I met a girl at my school. An interesting, cute, nerdy, dork. Have any idea who that is?”

Lapis watched smugly as Peridot’s cheeks began to redden quickly, and her expression scrunched up into a scowl. “I’m not cute!”

“Oh, give it up already!” Lapis teased, running a hand through Peridot’s hair affectionately, messing up the wild mess it already was. “You’re adorable and you need to accept that.”

“Never!” Peridot playfully shouted, and slapped Lapis’ hand out of her hair.

Lapis covered her mouth with her other hand in feigned shock, letting a sly smile slip out. And like that, all destructive and untamed emotions were swallowed down and the bubbly, cheerful feelings spilled out.

“Oh, you asked for it!” Lapis launched onto Peridot, knocking the smaller girl onto her back, and placed her knees either side of Peridot’s hips, although one of her legs was dangling off the edge of the seat. With a mad grin, she started poking the other girl’s sides, enjoying the way she tried to push Lapis off her far too much.

“Wait, wai— Lapis! No, no! How’d you know I’m ticklish!? S-stop!” Peridot managed to convey through the fits of giggles bubbling out of her. Frantically, she tried to throw Lapis’ arms away from her, maybe to manage to crawl away afterwards, but the blue haired girl had her pinned down. “Templars! Templars!”

Lapis halted for a second. “You can’t use the codeword for tickling! And you jump every time I hug you around the wai—”

Suddenly, Lapis was thrown onto her back, her head dangling off the end of the chair. She stared up at the vivid green eyes of Peridot, whom had overpowered her whilst distracted and was now crawling on top of her. 

“Another thing you should know about me Lazuli, is that I’m competitive as heck,” Peridot huffed as she began jabbing her fingers in Lapis’ sides. Her devilish smirk began to fade as Lapis stifled any reactions.

“Another thing you should know about me Peridork,” Lapis countered, sitting her upper half up and coming face to face with the other girl, “is that I’m not ticklish.” Well, that was a lie, but she wasn’t about to tell Peridot her weak points.

“What!? How can you not be ticklish?” Peridot interrogated, but fell back into the chair as she realised the proximity of her and Lapis.

“Dunno, but now I know your weak points,” Lapis drawled with a shrug. 

Peridot sprang off the chair, staring at Lapis with wide eyes. “No, you’re not tickling me anymore! I refuse it.”

“You won’t be able to fight me off,” Lapis stated smugly. “I’m determined too, and if it’s to make you giggle like a little kid, then so be it.”

“Truce?” Peridot offered, suspiciously eyeing Lapis.

Lapis hummed for a moment. “Truce.”

And as Lapis and Peridot spent the rest of their day snort-laughing and giggling, teasing each other about little things, and bickering over insignificant debates, Lapis felt the rising tide of emotions dwell within her, like a volcano readying to explode. It didn’t matter how many good feelings Peridot evoked in her, the tiny voice in the back of her mind still chided her.

_This is an unhealthy obsession._


	12. Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: drug use, moderate sexual themes, mild eating disorder, emotional/mental instability, general bad shit

Monster

Lapis hated that she both hated and loved spending time with her father. As much of a mouthful that was, she just wanted to spend time with her other parent and be content with it. It was easy to be cheerful (or to act like it) when they were visiting some place she rarely found herself, like the city. But when he dragged her to his own home, she couldn’t stop the bitter remarks she spat out every minute.

Lapis had to thank him that he at least _tried_. She knew other people only had one of their parents, as she’d found out about Peridot and Rose. Even though her parents were split apart, she still couldn’t imagine a life without both of them.

Though as much as her father tried, she thought he lost his fucking brains when he suggested board games. Somehow, she found herself seated around a polished coffee table, spreading herself across one length of the couch as she glared venomously at Jasper, whom was counting her dollar bills. Somehow, her father had hauled her into Monopoly. 

She didn’t remember the part where she agreed to play. Probably forgotten with the beast of a girl hunched over her knees near her feet.

_I could probably kick her in the face._

That thought was enough to tug her lips into the smallest of smiles.

Though she had a determined streak in her, Lapis wasn’t very competitive, unlike Peridot. So she was happy to be the first to bankrupt and just play on her phone until her father had another terrible ‘family reunion’ idea.

Unfortunately though, it seemed Peridot wasn’t online. Even before their online revelations, Lapis kept in contact with her often. But now she couldn’t pry her phone away from her hands whenever the other girl wasn’t around.

Lapis honestly didn’t really want to talk with anyone else. Greg was an option, but he was most likely working. There was also Amethyst, but she wasn’t in the mood for a conversation with her.

Recently, every Maths lesson Amethyst found something new to tease her about, and although it was fun at first, it got old fast. Even with her apathetic moods, Lapis couldn’t help but pity the girl; she knew the type, hell, even she was like her at one stage; emotionally distraught but hiding it behind a facade of fake cheerfulness and cockiness.

Actually, that sounded a lot like Lapis now.

Despite that, she still sent Peridot and Amethyst a few messages. Peridot didn’t respond, but a few minutes later, the latter did. Lapis shrugged inwardly; Amethyst could keep her company until her father’s game of ‘stop being so tense, you’re family’ finished.

_Ames [2:39PM]: so when r u gonna ask peri out?_

Lapis probably would’ve spat her drink out all over Jasper if she had a drink. That would’ve been a joyful moment.

_Lapis [2:39PM]: why do u ask_

_Ames [2:41PM]: she wont stop talkin bout u n shit. plus ive seen the way u eyeball her. AND ur the only person she lets touch her. u 2 obvs have the hots for each other_

Well, she wasn’t wrong. Kinda. Lapis wasn’t sure Peridot admired her that way, as the nerd herself stated that she wasn’t sure if she was crushing or not last Sunday. However, Lapis knew she wouldn’t be complaining if she got… locked in a cupboard with the nerd. Or something rather.

_Lapis [2:43PM]: i’m not asking her out. were just friends._

_Ames [2:43PM]: woop theres the infamous fullstop, i didnt mean to piss u off or smth_

Lapis noticed her hand clenching her phone rather tightly and frowned. Being in the presence of Jasper usually put her on edge, but it didn’t make her get like… this.

She flickered her attention back to the game between her father and Jasper, where the latter seemed to be winning. She knew the second the game ended, she’d be dragged into another. Already, a ton of excuses were flooding her head.

Along with other thoughts, mostly about Peridot and dating.

_Ah, that explains it._

_Lapis [2:44PM]: sorry its not ur fault, just bad memories.. i think_

_Ames [2:45PM]: all g. but srsly peri adores u man. take care of her ok? dont go breakin her heart_

At the thought of hurting Peridot even the slightest, Lapis’ mood soured further. She tapped her fingers on the back of her phone out of habit as she tried to keep the snark away.

_Lapis [2:45PM]: i’m not going to hurt peridot_

She left out the part that she meant everything to her.

_Ames [2:45PM]: good_

Lapis didn’t know how to continue the conversation without inducing herself into an awkward state, and so left it at that. Almost perfect timing too, as Jasper stole the last of her father’s money and their game of Monopoly halted to an end.

“Well, looks like you’ve won. Again,” her father sighed, feigning disappointment.

Jasper slapped her hand on his back encouraging - or mockingly, Lapis couldn’t tell between the two with her half-sister. “One day you’ll inherit Mum’s skills and beat me.”

“One day.” Her father turned his gaze to Lapis, offering a warm smile to her. “Well, what do you two want to do next?”

Lapis felt Jasper eyeing her too and scowled at the coffee table, like it deserved her resentment. 

“We could play another game, though it seems Ms. Grumpy over here doesn’t want that,” the brute suggested, jabbing a thumb in Lapis’ direction. Her scowl deepened. “So maybe we could go down town or something, grab a bite to eat maybe?”

Lapis made a retching noise, then glared at the space between Jasper and her father. “Sorry, I have to go die elsewhere.” With a displeased grunt, she shoved herself off her relaxed position on the couch and trudged to the backyard doors.

When the cool autumn air breezed though her hair and prickled her skin, Lapis heaved a long sigh. The backyard was nothing special; a medium-sized paved area beside the door, about seven by six metres, nestled against a stretch of bright green lawn. Lapis knew there was a big shed in the alleyway, but that didn’t interest her. She eyed the fence.

She knew there was a fair amount of forested area outside the house if she jumped the fence. A place she could walk through to refresh her mind and escape from the torture of spending any more tense moments with Jasper. Fate seemed to have another idea however.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jasper’s deep voice rumbled behind Lapis, and she shuddered.

“Feeling great,” she sarcastically snapped back, not bothering to turn around to face the other girl. Instead, she dragged herself over to the fence and leant against it, contemplating taking off there and then.

It seemed Jasper wasn’t letting go easy. “You know you can trust me if anything’s wrong.”

“Actually, no, I don’t trust you.” Lapis finally turned her gaze on Jasper, glaring at least nine daggers at her. 

Jasper didn’t budge under the glare, but hesitated. “That’s fair enough. Did you want to go for a walk?”

“No.” Despite her answer, she launched herself over the fence, either forgetting about the gate or choosing to ignore it. She stumbled into the light forest, knowing soon enough she’d find the path that would lead her back to her neighbourhood. Once again, Jasper stuck to her side.

“Go away,” Lapis snarled, but the venom was wearing away as she began to realise stubbornness ran in the family.

Jasper snorted. “You’re being more of a pain than usual, which means something’s wrong. I’m trying to be here for you.”

“Yeah, well, stop trying.” Lapis hurried her pace despite wanting to relax, but gave up when Jasper’s long strides easily trampled hers.

“You could’ve told Dad you were bailing,” Jasper advised in monotone. “I told him you’d probably do this, so at least he’s aware.”

“Fuck off, okay?” Lapis span around, anchoring herself right in front of the brute, who easily towered at least four inches above her. She jabbed a finger into Jasper’s chest hard, though it seemed to do nothing other than make her readjust her red singlet. “I don’t want you here, or in my life at all.”

Jasper frowned a little, and for a second, Lapis almost jumped in joy that maybe her words affected her.

“What happened to little Lapis?” she mumbled, staring blankly at the blue-haired enigma. “We used to be mates, and now you don’t want me to exist.”

“You know exactly what happened!” Lapis seethed, but pulled back her emotions. She didn’t need this right now, she needed apathetic Lapis back.

“It wasn’t all my fault Lapis, you know that,” Jasper fought back, clenching her massive fists slightly. If she were anyone else, Lapis would’ve trembled even looking at those hands, but she knew, as aggressive as Jasper could be, she would never hurt her. Well, physically.

“Whatever, but I moved schools for a reason, and it was to get away from _you_ ,” Lapis admitted.

Jasper caressed her forehead gently in irritation. “Look, this can’t be what’s bothering you. What’s wrong?”

“ _You’re what’s wrong!_ ” Lapis barked, clenching her fists in a similar matter to the brute. She shoved her balled fists into Jasper’s chest, trying to force her away. “Just fucking get away from me!” Even though pushing into Jasper did nothing, she kept shoving with all her might, trying to ignore the way her eyes began stinging.

_No, I can’t have this now._

“Just… just…” Lapis lost her will to continue shouting and her punches became weak as she bit her lip hard. “Please, just go…” Before Jasper could even turn away, though Lapis doubted that she would, her legs gave way and she collapsed into the brute’s body.

Lapis hated that she didn’t struggle when Jasper’s arms wrapped around her lithe body, hated that she didn’t swallow down the emotions finally spilling out, hated that Jasper’s shirt was dampening with her tears. But most of all, she hated that Jasper managed to rip out the emotions dwelling within her every single time.

“You can’t hold these emotions in all the time,” Jasper softly scolded over Lapis’ shoulder. Lapis felt her feet drag against the ground as the other girl pulled her in a direction. Her mind was blank but she still felt the emotions wracking her body. When she was set down on a bench, she cradled her face in her arms, trying to conceal the tears still overflowing.

“Lapis, let it out. You’re just going to hurt yourself,” Jasper tried to soothe, and somehow, it worked.

“I don’t know what to do. My past has ruined me,” Lapis mumbled through her fingers, tasting her tears running down her cheeks and onto her lips. She barked out a bitter laugh. “Now I’m an emotional mess, and it seems only you can unlock my inner thoughts.”

“Poetic, as usual,” Jasper joked, but took on a serious tone. “What is it you’re worried about?”

Lapis debated sucking in her emotions and refusing to say more, but a sensible part of her brain cut that thought off.

“I met a girl. At first, she was just a girl at my school; a cute nerd who ranted about lots of things. But after I started to trust her, she comes out and tells me that she’s someone I’ve known for a long time. And that kinda… escalated our friendship, I guess. Then she tells me she has some feelings for me; I don’t know _what_ feelings, but she cares a lot. And I think - no, I _am_ infatuated by her. But…”

Lapis bit her lip. She hadn’t meant to rant, but talking about Peridot made her relax, and she needed to get these thoughts off her chest.

“You don’t want to date,” Jasper finished off her sentence and crawled a little closer to Lapis. She inwardly growled and thanked her simultaneously.

“I can’t,” Lapis breathed, raising her head to meet Jasper’s eyes. She quickly wiped the remains of her tears and sucked in a sharp breath. “I just… can’t.”

Jasper stayed silent for a few moments. “I know I’ve said this a lot, but I’m sorry. I know that you still hate me for everything that’s happened, but you can only move on.”

“You don’t understand, Jasper. I’m fucked up. It’s not about moving on, I have the emotional stability of a car driven by drunk driver. That made no sense but you get my drift.”

Jasper shook her head, chuckling. “You’re crumbling and you’re making puns? Have you tried seeing someone about… what’s happened?”

“Not anymore. I don’t know, I thought I would naturally get better. I want everything to be okay.” Lapis bit her lip again. “I only feel okay around her, but at the same time I feel so conflicted.”

Jasper tentatively placed a giant hand on Lapis’. “If she makes you feel okay, then she must be a good person.”

“You don’t know that!” Lapis snapped, stealing her hand back. “Malachite made me feel great, but hell, she’s not a good person is she!?”

Jasper flinched back, wide-eyeing Lapis. “She made you feel great?”

Lapis felt the knot in her chest tighten and her throat clenched as her eyes watered again. “Yes, Jasper! Why do you think it was so hard for me?”

The brute coughed awkwardly, staring at the space on the ground between her legs. “She made me feel the same.”

“Did you two…” Lapis trailed off, frowning.

“No, but it was still intoxicating being around her.” Jasper looked up, staring sorrowfully at Lapis. “I want to make things up to you. I don’t want to be equal to ‘Chite.”

Lapis moved an inch closer to Jasper and clenched her hand under the other’s hand. “I’m… I’m sorry. But things probably aren’t going to return to how they used to be. It’s just how I am, how you are.” Lapis sucked in a sharp breath, eyeing the scenery around her, then laughed bitterly. “I guess Malachite fucked both of us up.”

* * *

“Hey, who’s the new junior?” Jasper grunted, elbowing Lapis in the ribs. She hissed and swatted Jasper’s arm away, leaning back into her folded arms on the desk. Staring at the whiteboard for a few more moments, Lapis quickly let the curiosity eat her away.

She glanced over her shoulder to where Jasper had her head cocked to. Lapis was immediately caught off guard; she expected a formal teacher’s pet to be the new student, but instead it seemed to be a grunge girl with wild, bleached hair and a devious grin. And that grin was pointed at her.

Lapis turned her attention back to the front of the class, watching the teacher make his way to the front of the class with disinterest. Jasper finally turned back around too.

“She almost looks as much of a mess as you,” Lapis mocked, resting her chin back on her crossed arms.

“Yeah, we do have the same hair, don’t we?” Jasper replied with a grin.

_And the same smile_ , Lapis thought.

“Are you gonna go make friends with the chick then?” Lapis asked, finally lifting her head off the desk when the teacher scolded her for her posture.

“I won’t be an ass and leave you by yourself, but we should definitely go say hi at break.” 

Lapis threw another glance at the girl sitting at the back of the class. She had her earbuds jammed in and seemed to be falling asleep on the palm of her hand. Strangely enough, Lapis found herself already relating to the new student.

“Yeah, we can do that,” Lapis agreed, focusing back to the lesson the teacher was giving.

The two periods before first break seemed to drone on forever with the anticipation to greet the new girl, but Lapis found herself dozing away to pass the time anyways. All the school was throwing at her was Maths and Chemistry, and Lapis really didn’t care about those subjects.

When first break finally arrived, Lapis immediately chased down Jasper at her locker.

“So should we find her or just wait ‘til we see her?” Lapis eagerly asked.

Jasper snorted. “You’re really excited to meet this new chick, aren’t cha?”

“Yes, she looks like our sort of people,” she immediately replied shamelessly.

“We’ll sit down and see if we can find her from there.”

Jasper led the way, finding difficultly weaving through the tight crowds with her size, but people tried to scramble out of the way when they laid eyes on her. Jasper wasn’t a bad kid, but when things got heated, violence was sometimes a solution that came to mind. Other than that, she was actually a rather pleasant person to be around, as long as you weren’t insulting her.

Lapis trailed behind the brute of a woman, not nearly getting as much attention as her. Lapis was usually careless around strangers, but when people stared at her for too long, it would make her uncomfortable, so she had to thank Jasper for soaking up all the unwanted attention.

When the pair sunk into their designated table in the cafeteria, Lapis gazed around the room as Jasper dug into her sub sandwich. Scanning over the tables, she couldn’t pinpoint the girl she was looking for.

“Mind if I sit here?” a husky, deepish voice asked over Lapis’ shoulder. She whipped around and found her target.

“Go ahead,” Lapis replied in monotone, hiding how intrigued she was to meet the new girl. The person in question collapsed into the seat next to Lapis and pulled out a can of tuna from her bag, sending the other girl the same devious smile she had first period.

“You’re eyeballin’ girl,” she teased, her canines pointing out over her lip.

Lapis seemed unfazed. “Sorry, you’re just the new chick and all. What’s your name?”

“Malachite,” she grunted. “What about you guys?”

“Jasper,” the brute answered, then signalled to Lapis, “and she’s my half-sister Lapis.”

“Wow, you guys don’t look related,” Malachite commented, shoving a spoonful of tuna in her mouth. Lapis watched the other girl, noticing the snake bites under her lips, the piercings in her ears, and the ring in her nose.

She slowly drifted her gaze back to the food in her hands; a muesli bar and a banana. Boring food, as per usual, but she wasn’t going to go hungry, so she stuffed them into her mouth.

Small chatter pursued between Jasper and Malachite, sometimes involving Lapis in the conversation, but she was happy to watch. She was enamoured by the new girl.

* * *

“Come on, La _piss,_ ” Malachite urged, sitting cross-legged on her bed.

Lapis frowned at the exaggeration of her name. “You don’t have to be an ass. I’ll come if Jasper comes, okay? Just waiting for her reply.”

“She should reply faster,” the other girl mumbled, picking at her shirt. “I’m all dressed and I don’t wanna arrive late.”

Lapis eyed Malachite’s attire; a light green v-neck, black leather jacket, sea foam jean shorts, and stockings. “You’re always dressed like that, it’s no big deal.”

“Yes, but I feel great and I wanna go now,” she whined, throwing her limp body half off the bed for effect.

“Okay, okay, Jasper replied, now stop being an impatient baby,” Lapis scolded, her frown unwavering as Malachite pouted. “She said she’d meet us there.”

“Good! Finally! Now let’s go!” Malachite grabbed Lapis’ wrist and dragged her out of her bedroom, rushing out of the empty house and locking it.

“Why are you so eager to drag me along?” Lapis asked skeptically, tugging her arm back.

Malachite came over to Lapis’ side as they walked, throwing an arm around her shoulder easily as she was slightly taller than her. “Because, my friend, you’ve never been to a party before, and you need to experience it.”

Lapis hummed; she supposed she was right. “I’m not friends with anyone there.”

“Well, neither am I, but they’re a bunch of school kids so I’m sure we’ll be okay,” Malachite replied, shrugging slightly. “Plus, didn’t you bring your sister to like, protect you and shit?”

Lapis snorted. “I consider her more of a friend then a sister, and no, I didn’t bring her to protect me. She may be tough but she ain’t my guardian.”

“Then why’d you bring her along?”

Lapis gave Malachite her best ‘are you serious’ face. “Because she’s our friend?”

“Right, right,” Malachite immediately replied, then pulled Lapis into a driveway. “We’re here!”

“You go ahead,” Lapis stated as she pulled from the embrace. “I’ll wait for Jas.”

Malachite briefly scowled, but darted off into the house. Lapis sighed as she leant against the garage door of some stranger’s home, shoving her hands in her pockets to keep them warm. The sun had fallen over the horizon and the sky was painted with brilliant pinks and oranges, but it wouldn’t last long until the dark blue overtook it.

After about five minutes, Jasper sauntered up the driveway, sending Lapis a concerned yet proud smile. “You waited for me, huh.”

“Of course I waited for you, idiot,” Lapis playfully replied, jumping off the door and heading inside, Jasper trailing behind her. “Malachite’s here, but knowing her, she’s probably already making out with some guy or getting drunk off her tits.”

Jasper chuckled heartily. “Oh yes, I do see that, but you do know she’s gay dude?”

“What, for real?” Lapis queried, sending Jasper a shocked look. “I thought she was joking.”

“I don’t know man, she seemed pretty legit,” Jasper responded with a shrug.

The pair wandered to the outside of the house where the party seemed to be kicking off, and a few guys and girls from school hastily greeted them. Some even looked fearful of Jasper, dressed in her black cargos and dark red pullover hoodie.

Malachite stumbled over to the both of them. “Hey, Jas! Have you ever been to a party before?”

“Just a wedding party,” Jasper replied, fist bumping Malachite. “Nothin’ special.”

Malachite grinned deviously. “Well, you two are in for some fun tonight!” She gestured for both of them to follow her, and she led them to the makeshift bar. “Usually it’s bring your own drinks, but since you didn’t, you can have some of mine.” She pulled two cans of beers out of her bag at the bar, handing one each to the newcomers.

Lapis took hers without a word, but Jasper voiced her thanks and immediately took a sip.

Twenty minutes later, Lapis found herself in the centre of the party, chugging down her second beer and throwing her hands in the air. She couldn’t tell if she was really enjoying herself, but she was starting to feel the kick of the alcohol and that was making her giddy. 

She eyed Malachite most of the time, who seemed to definitely be enjoying herself. The girl realised Lapis was staring and sauntered over, sending her a devilish smile.

“How’s the party?” she questioned as she danced around Lapis.

“It’s great,” Lapis replied, unsure if she was lying or not.

Malachite’s eyes flared. “Wait, you have to try something! Come.”

Lapis wasn’t really given a choice as Malachite grabbed her wrist for the second time that night and dragged her away. She found herself huddled next to Malachite, scanning the crowd for Jasper but somehow not finding the massive girl, and watching as the girl beside her grasped the blunt from the guy next to her.

She took a long drag of the drug, puffing out a little bit of smoke, and sent Lapis a dazzling smile. “You have to try this.”

“I’m not sure I want to,” Lapis submissively responded, shrinking away slightly from the makeshift cigarette.

“It’ll make you feel great,” Malachite urged, shoving the blunt in between Lapis’ fingers. Though unconvinced, her intoxicated self took a short drag, immediately passing it back to Malachite, shaking her head as the smoke seeped out her lips.

“I think I’m good. I’m gonna find Jas,” Lapis suggested through quiet coughs, and took off before Malachite could yank her into another situation she didn’t really want to be in.

She found Jasper sitting on a swing, chatting with some guy from their school, most probably from her sports class, and taking swigs from her drink.

Lapis butted into their conversation selfishly. “Hey Jasper, how are you going?”

Jasper beamed. “I’m having fun. Are you?” The guy standing beside Jasper seemed to get bored easily and wandered off elsewhere.

“I think I am?” Lapis answered, puzzled.

“Aw, that sucks. I don’t wancha getting sick or anything, but maybe you should have another beer or somethin’.”

Lapis hummed. “Yeah, maybe.”

As she grabbed another beer, it seemed that the rest of the night faded away into bright lights, loud music, and alcohol burning her throat.

* * *

After the first party, Malachite kept inviting Lapis to every one she could find, which was suspiciously regularly. Lapis had no idea how she kept finding so many parties to attend to, until her parents were away for the weekend and she hosted one herself.

Once again, she found herself in the party scene, chugging down cans of beer and watching but not partaking in the smoking. She knew Malachite’s house, unlike the other party host houses, so she relaxed on the couch inside until Malachite came to find her.

Lapis also noticed since she started regularly attending the parties, Malachite and Jasper became closer. Maybe they both enjoyed the parties or something, but Lapis was feeling a little left out. She hated to think that maybe that’s how Jasper felt before the first party.

Finishing off her second can and throwing it in the bin, Lapis began to feel drowsy and laid across the couch on her back. A few moments later, Malachite collapsed into her legs, laughing at a joke or something in her head. Jasper wasn’t around.

“Hey, what’s up Lapis?” Malachite asked with no sense of concern.

“Just a little bored,” Lapis admitted, letting her eyelids droop.

Malachite glanced around the room, noticing that there were only a few people lying about in the kitchen. “I can show you some fun.”

Lapis groaned. “I don’t want to smoke or drink anymore, if that’s what you’re suggesting.”

“Don’t worry, that’s not what I was thinking,” Malachite hurriedly replied, then sent her a huge grin. “Here, let me show you what I mean.”

Lapis watched as Malachite crawled over her body, curious as to what was going to happen, but some part of her already knew. Malachite’s legs were on one side of her body, almost hanging off the couch, and her hands were beside her shoulders.

“Don’t freak out, okay?” Malachite asked, for once having a bit of concern in her husky voice. All Lapis could do was nod.

She first felt Malachite’s snakebites graze her chin, and then she felt the sensation on her lips. She recognised it as other lips, from her previous experience with a boy when she was younger. And true to her word, she didn’t freak out, and Malachite slowly pulled away. If Lapis was honest, she wasn’t expecting the girl to be gentle.

“So, I can show you some fun…” Malachite repeated, lightly trailing a finger down Lapis’ stomach and to the hem of her jeans. She flitted her eyes away. “If you get my drift.”

Lapis didn’t know what enticed her to the offer; she always found Malachite rather attractive, though somewhat toxic, but she wouldn’t normally accept an offer like this at all. She guessed the alcohol rewired her brain, and the feeling in her abdomen at Malachite’s touch were what pushed her.

“Not here,” Lapis stated in monotone, glancing outside where the party was still going on. Malachite merely nodded and fell off the couch, seizing Lapis’ fingers and guiding her upstairs. Lapis counted every step as she ascended, trying to ignore the nervous feeling in her gut. 

Malachite’s bedroom loomed over her, and she stepped in, unsure on how a place so familiar had become so tense for her.

Malachite closed the door behind her quietly and pulled her down onto the bed. She flicked her hair out of her eyes as she glanced Lapis up and down. “Is this your first time?”

Lapis nodded, and guessed the other girl could tell from her rigid body.

Surprisingly, Malachite smiled warmly. “Kinda same too, but just relax.” She slowly drew her face near Lapis’ and pressed her lips against the other’s. After a few moments, Lapis kissed back, wrapping an arm around Malachite’s neck and into her wild mane of white hair. She kind of liked the feeling of the piercings against her skin and the tongue edging into her mouth.

After about five minutes of sharing kisses, Malachite began kissing down her jaw and to her neck, biting slightly every now and then. When her hands tiptoed up her stomach to her chest, Lapis lost herself.

* * *

Lapis stopped going to most of the parties after that. She wasn’t clear on her relationship with Malachite, but it seemed every time she went to a party, she ended up in bed with her. The relationship felt strained, like it wasn’t meant to be, but Malachite honestly made her feel great, feel _powerful_.

The more time she spent with the girl, the more Lapis realised some negative streaks in her; she was manipulative at times, she didn’t care much for other’s opinions or feelings, and she was rather bossy. And the more she realised those streaks, the more she realised how she was affecting herself.

It wasn’t directly her fault, but some part of her brain thought that if Malachite was going to stay with her, she had to be attractive. The sensible part of her argued that she already looked fine, but some toxic thoughts within told her she wasn’t healthy enough.

When the weeks flew by into months and Lapis grew clingy to Malachite, almost possessive, Jasper seemed to noticed something was up. She questioned her constantly about her eating habits, which had dwindled now that she had latched onto Malachite, and about she acted out of jealousy sometimes around the other girl.

Lapis was pissed at first that Jasper was questioning her motives, but in the end told her there was something between her and Malachite. As soon as she said that, Jasper immediately approved of whatever sort of relationship they had, even urging it. It was no doubt that Jasper admired Malachite in a sense, but Lapis thought she would be jealous about their relationship.

As the two of them saw each other more after the weeks following Jasper’s questionings, Lapis couldn’t pry herself away from Malachite. She felt senseless and almost worthless without her, like she needed the other girl to validate her, which present Lapis would scoff at. It was almost like a craving, and she hated that she couldn’t rely on herself much anymore.

But for some reason, the worst thing was that Jasper didn’t stop her. She always relied on Jasper to keep her sensible, to guide her to the right choices, but she was promoting the relationship. Lapis couldn’t really blame her, as she appeared to be happy with Malachite, but it was teetering on a dangerous obsession.

And then one day, it became dangerous.

* * *

Lapis trudged along the beach, hearing the beats of the music fade into the background. Now that Greg had finished his gig, and some kid under the producer name ‘Sour Cream’ was performing, Lapis didn’t have many reasons to stay, other than to be with Malachite and Jasper. Lapis threw a wary glance over her shoulder to the crowd before the beachside stage, knowing that the other two were in there somewhere. With a sigh, she forced herself to neglect them and sunk into the shoreline.

The cool ocean lapped at her enclosed feet, and with a disgusted grunt, she pulled her shoes and socks off. Normally, Lapis didn’t care about comfortability, as she noticed about herself recently, but wet socks were a big no-no. She stuck her feet back into the minuscule waves, shuddering at the cold touch alarming all the nerves in the area.

She didn’t know why she was doing this, much like she didn’t know why she followed Malachite around like a dog, or why she couldn’t let her go. She was glad she could get away for once with her breaking mind demanding her to go back to the safety of someone else’s arms.

Lapis bit her lip. People weren’t meant to be addictions, and yet she found herself there. All Malachite gave in return was urges and orders to come to certain events, or do stuff for her. Or do stuff _with_ her, but Lapis wasn’t complaining about that. There wasn’t much emotion in it anymore, not like there ever was, but she would take any sort of pleasure these days just to validate her existence or some poetic shit like that.

Her alone time for brooding was interrupted when Malachite and Jasper scampered over to her, cradling cartons of beer (she had no idea where they got it from, or how they got away with it) and a picnic rug (also something she had no idea where it came from).

“We’ve been looking for you!” Malachite declared and threw the rug on the beach, plonking down next to Lapis on it. “Why are you out here being sad and shit?”

Lapis frowned. “I just wanted some alone time.”

Malachite hummed. “Well, now we’re here.” She quickly gave Lapis a peck on the cheek, and Lapis had to stifle a snort at how uncharacteristically romantic that was. “Do you want a drink?”

“No thanks,” Lapis breathed, waving the alcohol away from her. “I just want to relax.”

“Wait, before you do, we totally have to go for a midnight swim.”

Lapis frowned again. “It’s super cold in there though.” For effect, she wriggled her toes grazing the water’s edge.

Malachite grinned. “Yeah, and it’ll be exhilarating!” She turned her attention to Jasper, whom had sunk into the rug beside her. “You in Jasper?”

She took a slow slip of her beer before answering. “I s’pose so.”

“See? We’re both doing it, so join in Lapis!”

Lapis held in a growl. There was stubborn, then there was manipulative. Why couldn’t she just take ‘no’ for an answer?

“Fine, stop pestering me,” she hissed.

Malachite grinned and ran a hand through Lapis’ fluffy brown hair. “That’s my girl.”

The two drinking finished their beers, and Lapis drew her legs close to her chest.

_These guys are fucking nuts, we don’t even have spare clothes to change into and fuck skinny dipping._

Malachite ripped off her shoes, shirt and shorts, and Jasper followed her lead but left her pants on. The former urged Lapis again, and she groaned, even as the latter glanced at her oddly. Reluctantly, Lapis tugged her shirt and jeans off, instantly feeling the freezing air biting at her skin. She stood beside Malachite, hoping she’d be the first to dive in or back out.

The smile the girl sent her was almost evil, and she felt the world spin around her as a hand shoved her into the water. Her whole body screamed at the temperature drop, and she tried to reach the surface to yell at Malachite, but another body plummeted into hers, dragging her deeper into the icy abyss.

She clawed at the water and presumably a tipsy Malachite around her waist, and she felt her lungs burning as she finally reached the surface and inhaled deeply. The other girl resurfaced, laughing wildly as she did so. Lapis turned her gaze on her, glaring furiously.

“What the fuck was that for?” she spat and threw her arms into the air. “You almost fucking drowned me, you ass!”

Malachite’s face scrunched up into a scowl. “Hey, I was just having some fun.”

Lapis was not going to let her act like she was the victim, not this time, not ever again. “No, you weren’t. You don’t actually give a single fuck about how I feel, you just do what makes you happy even if it endangers the people around you.” Lapis laughed her first bitter laugh. “I don’t even know what we have! What sort of relationship is one where one person gets drunk and high every weekend and fucks the other emotionlessly? I don’t know, but it’s certainly clear you’re fucking poison for me Malachite.”

Jasper stepped in between the two, frowning at Lapis. “Hey, don’t be mean Lapis.”

Lapis almost screeched. “You’re siding with her!?”

“I’m not siding with anyone, but you’re being an ass right now,” she growled, crossing her arms over her chest.

Lapis focused her glare on Jasper and seethed. “You know what? I’m done with both of you. You two can go fuck in some alleyway or some shit because I ain’t doing that with you anymore, Malachite.”

Without pausing to hear their replies, Lapis launched out of the water, quickly tugging her jeans around her waist and her shirt over her head. She didn’t once glance back as she ran off the beach, ignoring the stinging in her eyes that wasn’t from the ocean.

* * *

The days after their somewhat break-up left Lapis shattered. She wanted to be independent, to rid the poison in her system, but every time she saw Malachite in school she wanted to run into her arms and constantly apologise. She knew she developed an unhealthy clinginess for the girl, but it wasn’t easy to overcome.

Jasper didn’t talk to her either, at first. A week went by at school where Lapis was entirely alone. She cursed everyone who got in her way, not wanting to deal with _anyone’s_ shit, and huddled into a beanbag in the library, letting her mind wander in the world of books. Every time her mind wasn’t occupied she felt like an absolute mess, her body threatening to succumb into sobs. She was breaking and she had no one to talk to about her mentality. Well, no one in person.

She still had _green-space-doritos_. She _always_ had her. But it wasn’t the same as finding someone to physically attach to and receive love.

After the first week, Jasper had finally checked up on her. By then, it was too late and the damage was done. Lapis couldn’t believe she constantly preferred this new toxic chick over her own blood, and hated that she defended someone who almost drowned her. She shuddered at the memory.

Weeks went by, and all Lapis heard were rumours about her lifestyle, particularly of her liking for girls. She guessed it was Malachite spreading the rumours, and snarled at anyone who asked about it.

The weeks turned into months, and Lapis had grown colder with the lack of anybody in her life. Jasper tried to be there for her every now and then, almost like she realised her mistake, but she constantly pushed her away. She wasn’t ready to forgive her yet.

She felt a lot better about herself when she got her nose piercing, a beautiful little lapis lazuli in a stud, and started dyeing her hair cobalt. Now, anyone who tried to talk to her at all was completely flipped off - Lapis both craved and hated human contact and socialising. Trust wasn’t something she was going to give out easy.

Lapis almost felt a light in her life after months when news was passed around that Malachite was leaving the school. True to the rumour, the grunge girl disappeared a week later. Lapis probably would’ve asked Jasper about it if the curiosity ate at her enough, but she managed to swallow it down. She no longer wanted to be associated with her.

Despite Malachite leaving, Jasper was still around, and even worse she seemed to be sulking. Lapis bitterly refused to be there for her after the shit she’d been through.

Lapis was glad when she made the decision to move to the famously dubbed Beach City High. She vowed to scare off anyone who dared to socialise with her, to protect herself from future hurt and further trust issues. That didn’t work out well.

And maybe, _maybe_ , she was thankful for that.

Even though they weren’t exactly her friends, they were already much better then what she used to have. 

Especially Peridot.

_Exclusively_ Peridot.

* * *

Lapis held her breath, running a hand over her eyes to rid the second batch of tears. “I’m sorry, I really was a douche, wasn’t I?”

“We both were,” Jasper replied, fidgeting slightly. Lapis suddenly realised the other girl had tears in her eyes too.

“How about we go home and play more stupid board games?” Lapis offered, snorting-chuckling weakly.

“Heh, yeah, that’s enough emotions for today.” Jasper slowly raised herself and turned to Lapis, offering her hand out. Lapis tentatively took it, and didn’t struggle when she was pulled into a tight hug. In fact, she wrapped her arms around Jasper and squeezed harder.

When she unwilling pulled away from the embrace, she began strolling back to Jasper’s house, bumping into her sibling affectionately every now and then. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and her mood immediately perked up at Peridot’s and Amethyst’s names lightened on the screen. She eagerly swiped Peridot’s name and read the message.

_peridork [3:14PM]: sorry for the late reply! I’ve been with Amethyst and Pearl today and left my phone at home_

_peridork [3:15PM]: oh and Amethyst said her friend is hosting a small house party next weekend and she’s been forcing me all day to go. I said I’d only go if you went, so are you cool with that?_

Lapis’ chest tightened considerably. She couldn’t have more intoxicated nights and being forced to get high, but… Peridot wasn’t Malachite. Peridot was kind, considerate, nerdy, and just wanted to be friends with everyone. Malachite wasn’t.

Before she answered, she checked Amethyst’s text, and as expected, it was asking about the party too. Uncertain, she paused her walking briefly to stare at Jasper.

“What?” she grunted in confusion, glancing at her surroundings.

“My close friend, the one I like, she’s going to a party next week with all of her friends, who maybe I can call my friends. What should I do?”

“You’re asking me for advice?” Jasper questioned, and burst out laughing. Steadying her laughter, she continued, “That’s new. But uh, this girl makes you feel great and she’s a good person right? If… parties and stuff still make you uncomfortable, you don’t have to go and she’ll understand. But if you think you’re safe with her and her friends, maybe it’ll be good to try it, to gain a new perspective of what it could be like without… ‘Chite.”

Lapis hesitated for a moment, and began walking again. “That’s pretty solid advice. Thanks, Jas.”

“You’re welcome.”

Lapis hesitated before her next question. “Have you ever heard of Peridot?”

“The name rings a bell. Hey, yeah, isn’t she like the daughter of one of Mum’s coworkers?” Jasper replied, lighting up at the name. “Yeah, I think I met her once at a meeting Mum took me to. Why do you ask?”

Lapis froze slightly. She wasn’t expecting an affirmative reply. “She’s, uh, the girl.”

“What, really?” Jasper turned to her, shock morphing her face. “Wow, small world.”

The two fell into silence again, but Lapis began tapping a response to Peridot.

_Lapis [3:19PM]: i will go anywhere with you, so im cool_


	13. PARTY

PARTY

“Do I look alright?” Peridot asked, spreading her arms wide and glancing down at her body.

“Since when did you care about how you look?” Amethyst questioned, raising an eyebrow accusingly.

Peridot scowled. “Since never, but I don’t want to be underdressed, like when we went to the city.”

Peridot watched Amethyst’s eyes trail up and down her body, a flush beginning to spread on her cheeks for bringing the attention to herself. She felt Garnet staring too, even though she couldn’t see her eyes through the shades.

“You look fine,” Garnet answered for Amethyst, sending Peridot a small smile.

“Nah, I think she needs to change her hoodie or somethin’,” Amethyst butted in, picking at the sleeves covering Peridot’s wrists. “You wanna dress to impress, am I right?”

Amethyst’s accusing eyebrow now turned into two, wiggling suggestively. Peridot hunched her shoulders as the blush deepened, but didn’t say anything. Instead, she unblocked the doorway, stumbling to her room. The other two took the silence as an invite and stepped into Peridot’s house, following the small girl to her bedroom.

Peridot tugged her pullover hoodie over her head, exposing her white shirt with the word ‘clod’ scribbled over it in uppercase. Amethyst leant against the doorway, snickering as Garnet peeked over her shoulder.

“Dude, are you seriously wearing that shirt?” she mocked, grinning smugly.

“Yes!” Peridot blurted, refusing to look at her friends. “I like the word, okay?”

She dug into her closet beside her computer desk, tugging out a green flannel shirt. She frowned at her friends. “Is this better?”

“If you want to look even more gay for your girlfriend, sure,” Amethyst teased, relishing in the brightening blush.

“Then this will do,” she admitted, but added mumbling, “I’m not gay.”

Amethyst raised both of her eyebrows. “Oh my god, are you guys _actually_ dating? And oh, I’m sorry; you’ll show how _romantically_ gay you are.”

Peridot glared at Amethyst as she pulled her flannel over her arms, letting the cuffs fall just past her wrists. “Are you making fun of my sexuality? That’s low.”

“Shit, sorry dude, I-I didn’t mean it like that…” Amethyst trailed off, staring at the carpet between her feet guiltily.

Peridot sighed. “Yeah, I know. It’s okay.”

Garnet figured it was her time to speak up. “So, what’s going on between you and Lapis?”

Peridot threaded past her two friends, waving at them to follow her. She closed the front door behind her, adjusting her glasses briefly before locking the door.

“I’m not sure, she’s been more distant and yet still close over the week.” At the other’s puzzled expressions, Peridot attempted to explain herself. She was never very good with words. “I mean, she’s distant in that her head’s in the clouds and she hasn’t been talking nearly as much. But at the same time, she’s always there, and we’re… closer, I guess.” At Amethyst wiggling her eyebrows again, she added in with a huff, “And no, we’re not dating.”

“Awww, breaking my hopes there Peri,” Amethyst melodramatically complained.

“I’m happy for you two,” Garnet complimented lightly, placing a hand on Peridot’s shoulder as they walked to their destination. Garnet confirmed her earlier suspicious from two weeks back when the other girl didn’t shrug the hand away.

“Yeah, thanks guys,” Peridot commented, her previous blush returning briefly.

As the trio found their way to the house party, Peridot kept to her thoughts as the other two chatted. If she was honest, as she always was, she didn’t really want to go to the party. Typically, as an anti-social nerd, they just weren’t her scene. Other than the music, and the opportunity to socialise with the people she could stand, they just weren’t appealing.

Peridot wished she could say she was going just for Lapis, but that wasn’t true. She didn’t want to let Amethyst down, as the only person her height expressed so much excitement when she heard her friend was hosting it. She would’ve felt terrible if she declined her friend’s wishes. So she agreed to attend her first party, and Amethyst threw her arms around her in a tight hug. Pearl also rather awkwardly agreed, saying she would only join if Rose would come.

The idea to invite Lapis struck Peridot then, and quickly sent her a message. The party was a week away from when she asked, but she liked to be organised and have everything sorted. She couldn’t help grinning when Lapis said she’d join them.

Speaking (or rather, thinking) of the Devil, Peridot and her friends finally arrived at the host house of the party. It seemed like an average sized two story house, but Peridot peeked over the fence (amazingly, at her height) and saw the large backyard quickly filling with guests. Turning her attention back to the house, she spotted Lapis leaning against the garage door.

“Hey guys,” she greeted nonchalantly, with a short nod to Amethyst and Garnet over Peridot’s shoulder. 

“Lapis!” Peridot called out, far too loud for the close proximity they were in, and reached out to graze Lapis’ arm. The touch was brief and unnecessary, but Peridot saw Lapis’ lips curl upwards ever so slightly.

Garnet seemed to sense something spark between the two and gestured for Amethyst to follow her inside. Peridot shuffled from foot to foot, honestly a little cold as the evening started settling into night.

“Nice flannel, you look really cute in it,” Lapis commented, running her eyes over her torso.

Peridot blushed. “Th-thanks. Should we go in and catch up with the others?” She didn’t bother denying the cute comment, it was not worth the useless bickering that followed.

Lapis shook her head, gazing up at the sky. “I need to tell you something briefly.”

“What is it?” Peridot frowned a little; she hoped it wasn’t bad news.

“If I act weird tonight or something, forgive me.” Peridot noticed Lapis shaking a little, unsure whether it was from the cold or something else. She donned her infamous leather jacket, so she presumed it wasn’t from the temperature. “I’ve had my fair share of bad parties and… yeah.”

“Are you uncomfortable being here?” Peridot asked soothingly, brushing her hand against Lapis’ arm again, but gently held onto her wrist.

Lapis flinched a little, and Peridot’s mind clouded over with worry.

“Sorry, I… I’m comfortable,” she lied.

Peridot squinted at her, but after a minute of silence, she spoke up. “Come on, let’s go inside.”

The two trudged inside, Peridot instantly seeking out her friends. She found Amethyst lying across a couch, Garnet sitting on the arm rest, Rose beaming at the both of them, and Pearl…

Peridot scampered over to her friends, temporarily forgetting about Lapis. “Pearl!?”

The person in question crossed her arms over her chest and sent Peridot a cocky smile. “Oh, hello Peridot.”

Peridot’s jaw almost dropped comically. This was _not_ Pearl. Her normal weird mix of a pixie cut and a bob was tousled and kind of pointy at the end, and had faded to her natural strawberry blonde colour. She wore a maroon, almost black leather jacket over her blue top, the sleeves rolled up and the collar unfolded. White denim shorts stopped half way down her thighs, and the usual pastel blue socks & pink Vans combo were on the end of her legs.

“Yeah, I know right!?” Amethyst practically shouted, her messy white bob caressing her chin as she jumped up and down. Peridot noticed short brown hairs spouting out the top of her head.

“Amethyst, she didn’t say anything,” Pearl coolly commented, frowning slightly, but returned back to her overconfident smile. “I think everyone deserves a little bit of change. You cut your hair short, though it’s much better that way, and Garnet—” she gestured to the other girl whom had her legs crossed, “— dyed her hair pink and blue, even though it’s back to black now.”

Amethyst grinned. “So, now we’ve got Bad Pearl here, would you like a drink?”

Pearl briefly hummed, sending a glance to Rose. “I’m fine thank you.”

“Awww, Bad Pearl’s not going to drink? Then what’s the point?” Amethyst whined.

“I can have fun without drinking,” Pearl replied, smiling smugly at Rose. Peridot swore she saw the taller girl’s cheeks tint pink, for reasons unbeknownst to her.

“Right,” Amethyst quickly muttered, and launched off the couch. “C’mon, let’s go see the performer! I think his name is Mark Krill or something?”

The rest of them went to follow her lead, but Peridot was stopped short when she heard a familiar voice call out Lapis’ name behind her. She whipped around to see the blue-haired enigma pulled into a quick embrace by no other than the bartender she met weeks ago.

Peridot bounded over. “Sardonyx? What are you doing here?”

“It’s a small world, isn’t it?” she answered as a question, bending down to Peridot’s height. She gazed at Lapis. “And you brought the lil’ cutie too!”

Peridot blushed and backed away from the very much taller girl, almost laughing at the fact she was dressed in a tuxedo and bow tie. This wasn’t a formal gathering, after all.

“Yeah…” Peridot drawled nervously, scratching the back of her neck. “I’ll let you two be.” Being called a ‘cutie’ by a stranger made her too uncomfortable, and she supposed the two had some stuff to talk about.

Before she could change her mind, she darted off outside, easily finding the rest of her friends as they stayed out of the crowd in front of the makeshift stage. Pearl had her arm wrapped around Rose’s waist, and it seemed Amethyst was begging to be lifted up by Garnet. 

“Where’s Lapdog?” Amethyst asked as Peridot arrived.

“She’s talking with someone she knows from the tavern,” Peridot responded as she stopped by Garnet’s side, watching Amethyst’s futile attempts to climb onto her shoulders. “What are you doing Amethyst?”

“I wanna see the show from here!” Amethyst explained, huffing as if it was obvious. “Garnet, please let me up! Don’t let the shorties hang!”

Garnet reluctantly sighed, a small smile curving her lips as she hoisted Amethyst onto her shoulders. “Better?”

“Thank you Garnet!” Amethyst called out, then cheered as the performer and his band finished the first song. 

When she felt an arm sling around her shoulder, Peridot looked to the source, noticing that Pearl and Rose had disappeared. Her eyes drifted to Lapis, her arm cradling her neck.

“Sardonyx apologises for calling you cute, but she doesn’t take it back,” Lapis stated, smiling as if her mind was distant.

“Of course,” Peridot scoffed, fidgeting under Lapis’ touch.

Lapis hummed, and Peridot responded to that by resting her head on her shoulder.

After a few minutes, Peridot heard Lapis mumbling. She couldn’t make out the words, but the tone seemed to be… melancholy.

“Hey, are you okay?” Peridot asked, craning her head to stare at the side of Lapis’ face.

Lapis shifted, glancing at Garnet and Amethyst. “This place is a lot better than the other places I’ve been.”

“Do you want to elaborate?”

“Well, everyone is drinking responsibly. You guys haven’t even touched any alcohol yet, and the parties I remember… people would be drunk in five minutes. And… and there’s no smoking either. It’s just… much better. Safer.”

Peridot glanced quizzically at Lapis. _What does she mean by safer?_

Once again, she asked, “Are you uncomfortable here?”

Lapis smiled at her friend’s concern. “Not entirely.” She traced circles on Peridot’s back with the hand slung over her shoulder, and Peridot hummed happily. She could deal with this touching - or probably any sort of touching from Lapis that didn’t evolve tickling.

“Plus, the musician’s pretty good. Mike Krol, I believe,” Lapis added as the song the band was playing ended.

“Yo, we’re going back in to see V!” Amethyst announced, still on Garnet’s shoulders. “Coming?”

“Who’s ‘V’?” Peridot asked, lifting her head from Lapis’ shoulder.

“She’s my good friend and the host! We have to thank her.” Garnet started walking back to the house, ducking under the doorframe so Amethyst wouldn’t get knocked in the face. Lapis and Peridot trailed behind, watching Garnet drop the childish girl on the same couch she was on earlier. Peridot squeezed in beside Amethyst, patting the seat next to her for Lapis. She shook her head slightly and sat on the arm rest instead.

Peridot rested her gaze forward, ignoring the bickering between Amethyst and Garnet. Or mostly just from Amethyst. When her eyes registered what was happening, she froze, her face heating up rapidly.

Rose had Pearl pushed up against the wall, their mouths dancing together, but most of it was obscured from view by Rose’s pink curls. Pearl wrapped a leg around Rose’s thigh and a hand started to play with the hem of Rose’s jeans.

Peridot looked away in embarrassment, biting her lip hard. She noticed the chatter beside her died and her stomach dropped.

“Pearl’s gettin’ laid tonight!” Amethyst cried out, her smug grin spreading across her whole face. Pearl’s free hand weaved under Rose’s arm and she shoved her middle finger up in the air.

Amethyst erupted into a fit of shocked giggles, her eyes going as wide as plates. “I think I like Bad Pearl!”

Peridot’s eyes were as big as apples too and her eyebrows shot off her forehead and into the roof. Maybe Pearl _had_ changed, if only for a night.

When it seemed Amethyst was about to continue teasing, Garnet grabbed the hem of her shirt and dragged her to the kitchen. “Come on, let’s give them some privacy.”

“Privacy at a party in front of _everyone_?” Peridot heard Amethyst retort as she was pulled around a corner. 

Peridot sent Lapis an uneasy glance. “We should follow them.”

Lapis shrugged, but shadowed Peridot nonetheless as she got up and stormed off to the kitchen. Amethyst was hunched over the small fridge, pulling out two bottles of beer and chatting away with someone behind her. She looked up when she noticed the other two standing in the doorway.

“Hey, do you guys want a beer?”

Peridot shook her head vigorously, but Lapis merely shrugged once again.

“Sure, but just one.”

Amethyst stuck her hand back in the fridge, whipping out another bottle and passing it to Lapis. 

Lapis thanked her and nodded her head to the person behind Garnet. “S’that ‘V’?”

“Why yes it is, and who might you be?” the woman answered, crossing her arms across her stomach but sending her a content smile.

“I’m Lapis, and this is Peridot.” She lightly poked Peridot in the arm.

Peridot didn’t register the touch and mumbled out a ‘hello’. She was honestly confused as to why - or how - Amethyst had a friend at least twice her age.

“How did you two meet?” Peridot asked skeptically, shifting her gaze back and forth between Amethyst and V.

“She’s friends with my mum, which is kinda weird I guess, but she’s cool. I’ve known her since I was younger,” Amethyst replied, shrugging as she took a sip of her drink. “We’re gonna head back out, you coming V?”

“Nah, I’m staying here for a while. Someone’s gotta keep a ready supply of food.” She sent Amethyst a playful smile and urged her out of the kitchen.

Peridot threw a glance over her shoulder as she left the kitchen, and Amethyst seemed to read her mind.

“We’ll leave the lovebirds for a while, wouldn’t want to interrupt their funky flow.”

The four of them wandered back outside, getting closer into the crowd this time, and watched Krol’s performance. Peridot appreciated the musician’s skill, but didn’t really like genre. However, when they finished their songs and a DJ by the name of Sour Cream took the stage, she got a little more excited.

“Huh, he seems familiar,” Lapis mumbled beside Peridot, resting her arm over her shoulders again.

Amethyst seemed to hear her. “Yeah, he’s V’s son! He’s actually pretty good at this music stuff.”

“Thanks for the info, Amethyst,” Lapis sarcastically replied. “I just met V for the first time, so he can’t be fami—… oh.”

“What is it?” Peridot urged, sticking her nose into Lapis’ shoulder.

“I saw him perform on the beach last year,” she deadpanned. Peridot felt her shiver slightly.

Amethyst’s interest piqued. “Hey, I was there with V!”

“You were?” Lapis’ eyebrows raised to the top of her head.

“Yeah! Wow, that’s weird. I wish I saw you.”

“No, you don’t,” she strictly assured.

Peridot felt Lapis’ body tense and the arm around her shoulder grip on too tightly. “Are you okay?”

Lapis stayed frozen for a bit, until something flickered in the corner of Peridot’s vision. They both turned their heads, and Peridot almost laughed at how flustered Pearl and Rose looked.

“You had fun?” Amethyst teased, slapping Pearl’s shoulder playfully.

Pearl returned the gesture. “Shut up,” she hissed, a blush spreading across her face but her cocky smile still intact. Amethyst made smooching noises and earned another slap across the shoulder.

Peridot remained neutral, rolling her eyes at the affectionate display, but shot awake when the DJ finally started playing.

“Hey, I know this song!” she shouted far too loud, a grin curling her lips quickly. “Lapis, come dance with me!”

Lapis gave her an odd smile, then snorted. “You’re such a dork.”

“A _loveable_ dork.”

Lapis snorted again, shaking her head, but moved closer to Peridot. “Yes, you are.”

Peridot’s grin grew as she began tapping her feet to the beat, bouncing over the place. She didn’t care if she was making a fool of herself, the song was absolutely perfect.

Before the drop, she yelled out the only vocals of the song, “Party!”

The chorus kicked in and Peridot grabbed Lapis’ hands, bobbing her head to the music joyfully. She swung them around, despite being the shorter one, and Lapis found herself smiling and snort-laughing.

Lapis took the initiative and spun Peridot around before trailing her hands up the sides of her body with the beat. When she turned Peridot back around, her face was completely red.

Lapis’ eyes went wide when she realised she didn’t ask permission to touch her so sensually. “Templars?”

Peridot gave a nervous smile, but shook her head. Lapis smiled devilishly and grabbed Peridot’s hands, stepping back and forth with the fast beat.

Peridot sang out the only vocalised word in the song again and fell against Lapis’ body giggling as the song ended abruptly.

“Wow,” she breathed into Lapis’ collarbone.

“You seem to be enjoying yourself,” Lapis purred into Peridot’s hair, wrapping her arms around Peridot’s waist. “Templars?”

“I’m good.”

“What’s the song called?”

Peridot pulled away from the embrace, staring at Lapis with a giddy smile. “ _Party_ by Tokyo Machine!”

Lapis hummed, but darted her eyes to the rest of Peridot’s friends. They were all staring at the two, albeit with different expressions. Amethyst’s mocking, Garnet’s encouraging, Pearl’s shocked, and Rose’s excited. Peridot’s blush returned.

“Yo Peri, you’ve got moves bro!” Amethyst shouted teasingly.

“Thanks,” she mumbled, though no one could hear her other than Lapis, and her blush deepened. She was thankful when Lapis began pulling her away from the scene.

“Where are we going?” she questioned, frowning slightly yet still grateful.

“I need to tell you something. Again. But I don’t want the others to hear,” Lapis answered, stopping when they were far away enough. Peridot frowned again - _what could be important or secretive enough for Lapis to not want anyone else to hear?_

When Lapis remained silent, Peridot raised an eyebrow. “Are you okay?” she asked for the third time that night.

“I’ve had far too many bad experiences at parties before, and I know I already told you that but… I feel you deserve to know more,” Lapis began, sighing as she fell into the grass. Peridot sat down beside her, waiting for Lapis to continue.

“I dated a girl who was, to put it nicely, fucked up. She took me to a lot of parties, and things weren’t exactly pleasant. We did some stuff that… I regret. But I want you to know, even though I’m scared shitless of being here, I’m enjoying myself. I’m enjoying _you_.”

Peridot blushed at the compliment. “Oh, uh, I’m s-sorry about what’s happened… You don’t have to stay if you d-don’t want to.”

Lapis shook her head, a stupid smile on her lips. “You dork, I want to be here because I get to be with you.”

Peridot stayed silent, averting her gaze elsewhere as the blush burned her face more.

Lapis continued on. “What I’m trying to say is… I’ve considered what you told me about your feelings, and I think it’s time I’m honest with you.”

Peridot froze, her body going cold except for her face. _Oh no. Was it wrong to tell her?_

“I know I feel the same way. I mean, I’ve made it pretty clear, but I understand you might not comprehend that.”

Peridot gulped. “S-so, what does this m-mean?”

Lapis shrugged. “It could mean nothing, or it could mean everything.”

“Explain.” Peridot had to refrain from scoffing at the poetry.

“Well…” Lapis slowly turned her gazed on Peridot sitting cross-legged beside her. “We could stay how we are and share these mutual feelings platonically. Or…” Lapis bit her lip slightly, but a confident smile spread across her face. She drew her face slowly, delicately close to Peridot’s, touching her nose on hers. Peridot’s heart was thudding in her chest and squeezing the life out of her, even as her face kept on blushing furiously. Lapis flicked her eyes down.

“Temp—”

Her sentence cut off as Peridot pressed her lips against hers, placing her hands lightly on either of side of Lapis’ neck. The knot in her chest tightened, and she knew she was visibly shaking from the nerves wracking her almost-lifeless body. She quickly pulled away, immediately staring at anywhere but Lapis, and hunched her shoulders to her jawbone. She would need an icepack for how hot her face felt.

“Oh.”

Peridot felt her insides turning themselves inside out and slowly reset her gaze on Lapis, doing a double-take. For the first time since she knew her, Lapis was _blushing_.

Peridot averted her gaze to her flannel cuffs and began playing with them nervously, hating the silence. _Was I not supposed to do that!? I thought that’s what people did when they like each other!_

Lapis cleared her throat beside her, interrupting Peridot’s wave of thoughts. “I’ll take it you want the second option.”

Peridot’s voice came out in the tiniest of squeaks. “Y-yes.”

Lapis hummed, bringing a hand to Peridot’s hot cheeks. “That’s good, because that’s the option I want too.”

She gently turned Peridot’s face towards her, sliding her other hand behind her neck. Peridot made a squeaking noise as Lapis’ lips connected with hers again. The feeling that electrified her body was addictive, even though it almost _hurt_ \- the way her chest tightened, her throat closed over, the empty, wobbly feeling in her legs. It felt like fear, like… like a panic attack, but yet _so much better_ , like her insides were coming alive.

Peridot had no idea where to put her hands, so she did what she thought she saw on those stupid romance comedy movies, and placed them at Lapis’ hips, feeling both the leather jacket and her jeans brush against her fingertips. She wanted to remember every touch and feeling, and her mind moved to the touch on her lips, her face heating up even at the thought of it.

She tried to move her mouth in synchronisation with Lapis’, though she had literally no idea what she was doing. Television wasn’t exactly helpful, and she had too high of a dignity to search on WikiHow ‘ _How to Kiss Girls_ ’.

When Peridot felt Lapis’ tongue on her lips, she shot back from the kiss, wide-eyed.

Lapis seemed stunned too. “I’m sorry! D-did I go too far? Templars?”

Peridot bit her lip. She didn’t want to disappoint, but… she nodded her head. “I-I’m sorry. I’ve n-never kissed s-someone bef-fore… and, and… I want to take things s-slow since th-this is so new t-to me.” _God, I’m a stuttering mess._

“Peridot, that’s 100% okay,” Lapis soothed, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and pulling her into an embrace. She caressed her fingers through Peridot’s hair, and the latter sighed into her shoulder.

“There’s s-something else I-I haven’t told you,” Peridot announced, returning the embrace but absentmindedly played with the cuffs of her flannel. “I-it’s not a secret or a-anything! I’ve just f-forgotten to mention it. I-I’m asexual.”

Peridot sensed it, the way Lapis froze for a brief moment before continuing to stroke her hair. Sensed the disappointment.

“I’m not sure I understand,” Lapis mumbled over her shoulder. “I know what asexuality is but…” Peridot pulled away, ready to quickly explain.

“W-well, I’ve discovered that maybe I romantically like g-girls. But _only_ romantically. I-I don’t like… sexual stuff.”

“Oh, I understand.” Peridot wasn’t great at interpreting body language, but she could tell Lapis had deflated the slightest. “That’s okay, I support that you don’t want that stuff.”

“Th-thank you.” Peridot gave a small smile and stood up, brushing off the grass shreds on her jeans. She offered out her hand to Lapis, and pulled her up when she accepted it. “Come on, our friends are probably suspicious now.”

“They have every right to be,” Lapis teased, but took a sudden sharp breath. “Wait, how are you with dirty jokes and innuendos and stuff?”

“I don’t usually like them, but they don’t bother me,” Peridot replied, shrugging. “Most of the time innuendos fly right over my head anyway.”

“Of course they would.” Lapis entwined her fingers with Peridot’s, and the latter felt the lump in her throat stiffen, but in a good way. Hand holding was good. And cute.

She could live with this. Definitely.


	14. Gasoline & Matches

Gasoline & Matches

"There's a reason I catch the bus Lazuli."

Peridot took longer strides to match Lapis' steps, puffing slightly. She wasn't exhausted, just, er, unfit.

"The weather's nice," Lapis replied in monotone, but quickly ran a hand through Peridot's hair affectionately. "It's not far to walk anyways."

"It's far for someone who's caught a bus for four years," Peridot argued, wanting to cross her arms but knowing it would make walking difficult.

Lapis shrugged. "Maybe you just need to get fit. Plus, you chose to walk with me."

"Maybe you just need to catch a bus for once in your life and take the easy route."

"Oh, she bites," Lapis mocked, a coy smile curling her lips. "Don't worry, I like that."

"Yes, well, I'm bound to get snarky when I feel like collapsing," Peridot snapped playfully, unfazed by Lapis' comment.

Peridot's eyes flickered as she spotted a familiar house edging closer to the pair with every step they took. "My mother's probably home, so I'll introduce you to her."

"About time."

Peridot shot Lapis a glare, trudging up to the front door and opening it wide. Her mother was sitting on the couch in front of the television, though the device wasn't turned on. Her legs were crossed, a newspaper nestled against her knees. Watching her mother, Peridot thought about why people bothered to read the newspaper.

"Hey Mum," Peridot greeted, stepping aside to let Lapis sidle in.

"Good afternoon Peridot, how was school?" she asked, her gaze not faltering from her reading material.

"Good," she automatically replied, annoyed that she was asked this question every afternoon after being there all day. Did her mother really think her opinion of the place was going to change? "This is my friend, Lapis."

Daisy finally trained her eyes on the other girl, squinting instantly. Peridot answered the question on the tip of her mother's tongue.

"Yes, she's Iris' daughter."

Her mother studied Lapis for a few more seconds until the girl uncomfortably spoke up.

"Uh, hi."

"Yes, hello," Daisy immediately replied, yet distantly. "Pardon me, you just look a lot like Iris. Blue runs in the family, it seems."

"Oh, thanks?" Lapis glanced at Peridot, shrugging conceitedly.

Peridot's mother gazed back to her newspaper. "There's muffins in the kitchen if you want any."

"What flavour are they?" Peridot eagerly questioned as she hurriedly dragged Lapis to the kitchen.

"Banana chocolate chip."

Peridot nodded her head to the food, silently offering Lapis one. Hesitantly, the blue-haired girl picked the smallest muffin off the cooling tray, taking a nibble out of it. Peridot grabbed two.

"Thanks Mum!" she called over her shoulder as she guided Lapis to her room hastily. She threw her bag on the floor, stretching the dull ache out of her shoulders, and sunk into her bed.

"She doesn't usually bake," Peridot mumbled, more to herself than a conversation starter with Lapis. The other girl more peacefully rested her bag on the navy carpeted floor, pulling out her English book and a tri-coloured pen.

"Oh?" Lapis sounded, if only to continue Peridot's train of thought.

Peridot took a bite of one of the muffins thoughtfully, staring off into space. "Yeah. I think it's a habit she picked up after someone she was with left. Some sort of copying mechanism? I'm not sure."

"Oh. Who was she with?" Lapis fell into the bed beside Peridot, humming as she opened up her exercise book and clicked her pen.

"Have you heard of Krystal? She was a business partner, I guess. I think she still works with Mum as one of the heads. White Diamond I think? I'm surprised they can stand working with each other; I thought break ups were nasty."

Lapis raised an eyebrow. "Your Mum likes women?"

"I don't think she likes anyone anymore."

"What about your father? I mean, was he a business partner?"

Peridot stiffened. "I don't know. Mum doesn't talk about him."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Lapis looked up from her little scribbles in her English book, staring sorrowfully at Peridot. She had her hands clenched into the hem of her shirt. "I can't imagine what it would be like to only have one parent."

Peridot reached over to her second muffin on the desk, staring at it disinterestedly. "I mean, when Krystal was around for a good few years when I was younger, it was like having two parents. She wasn't another mum, of course, but she was _there_. That's more than what my father provided. I just wish she could've stayed, but I think maybe Mum and her had to cut it off because they worked together. I don't know, I'm just theorising."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, my dad left my mum for another coworker of the same business during Mum's pregnancy with me." Lapis laughed, but it wasn't bitter. "And they're still friends and work together. But I'm 90% sure Mum still hates Dad."

Peridot raised an eyebrow and then wolfed down the rest of her second muffin. She glanced at Lapis, whom had returned to writing in her book. "Do you have homework?"

"Don't we all?" Lapis scoffed.

Peridot briefly smiled. "No, some people do it as soon as they get it."

"Nerd."

Peridot lightly shoved Lapis' shoulder. "You're secretly a nerd too."

"My nerdiness is nothing compared to yours." Lapis looked up, smirking slightly.

Peridot rolled her eyes and took a couple of steps to her computer, shaking it awake with the mouse. It blinked to life, and Peridot clicked on Steam. As the application opened, she grabbed her gamepad.

"Hey, you don't mind if I play games?" Peridot asked.

"Of course not," Lapis hummed, distracted with her writing.

Peridot paced to her makeshift bedside table, which was also her stereo, and plugged her phone in. Scrolling through her playlists and albums, she chose the newest releases. "I hope you don't mind me putting on music too."

Lapis shook her head. "Nah, that's cool. I've never heard your music before, and I've shown you mine, so it's a fair trade."

"Thanks," Peridot muttered, stumbling back to her computer. After a few moments of indecision, she clicked on a game in her library. Cradling her gamepad, she fell back into the bed next to Lapis, thankful her computer screen was big enough to be comfortably seen on her bed.

As the game menu opened up, Peridot hoped to start a conversation with Lapis. "So, what are you writing about?"

"I'm not sure yet. I'm doing the English work." Lapis glanced at Peridot, and then leant into her lap, her head resting comfortably on her upper legs.

Peridot blushed at the touch, quickly staring at the screen to ignore her lap being taken. "The story?"

"Yeah," Lapis drawled, distracted in her work again as she bent her knees and leant her book against them. "I'm guessing you have yours finished."

"Of course." Peridot was pulled into the game world, finding ways to sneak past the guards and reduce the amount of kills.

"What did you write about?"

Peridot hummed, teleporting her character to a roof and staring at all the guards in the facility. "A girl who woke up in a game. She had to figure out how to return home, but she decided she wanted to stay in the fictional world."

"Typical."

Peridot shot the girl in her lap a small glare, then rolled her eyes at Lapis' innocent look. "Well, what are your ideas for your story?"

Lapis began brainstorming in her book. "I want to do something with less story and more descriptions, as I want to convey a feeling, like with art. Something you can imagine in your head and lose yourself with the endless possibilities of what it could mean. So, like extended poetry."

Peridot was beginning to normalise herself with Lapis' sporadic poetry. Honestly, her carefully chosen words made her feel warm inside. If she could lose herself just with Lapis talking, she wondered what her writing would be like.

"What feeling do you want to convey?" Peridot asked, focusing back on her game, but it was hard not to be distracted by Lapis.

The other girl scrawled more in her book after Peridot asked. "I've got a few ideas. Happiness, loneliness, and love are the overarching ones."

"Can you make the reader feel love through writing?" Peridot questioned, genuinely intrigued. She loved characters from games and shows, but… that wasn't exactly what she was asking. _God, I'm bad with words._

"Like, the reader doesn't necessarily love the character but the feeling it arises in them?"

Peridot nodded.

Lapis laughed a little. "Some writers can, but I don't think I'm one of them."

"We'll see," Peridot answered, getting a little panicky as a guard spotted her in-game.

A few moments of silence passed, aside from the somewhat peaceful background music, and Peridot started mumbling to herself about the game. Lapis spoke up first. "Can I write about you?"

Peridot's eyes went wide and she shot a look at Lapis, her face instantly heating up. "W-what?"

"I won't mention you specifically, but maybe I can write about your personality and… how you make me feel."

Peridot burned brighter at that. "I-I'm flattered. Um, how d-do I m-make you feel?"

Lapis hummed happily. "You'll know when you read my writing." Her eyes flicked up to the computer screen, then to Peridot's face half a metre above her. "Quick, you're gonna die."

"Oh, heck!" Peridot quickly focused back on the game, but a little too late as the screen went red and the grey 'You Died' screen popped up. She placed her gamepad on the bed, tentatively running a hand through Lapis' hair.

"You're just too distracting," Peridot mumbled, avoiding eye contact with Lapis.

"Then I'm doing my job." Lapis smiled coyly at Peridot, watching the way her cheeks reddened. She nodded her head to the computer screen. "What game is that?"

"Dishonoured. I'm replaying it because the sequel is coming out in a month or two, and the story's really good." Peridot finally glanced back down to Lapis, fidgeting under her intense stare. "Do you want a shot?"

"As tempting as that is, I think I'll find writing about you more fun." Lapis grinned smugly at Peridot as her eyes went round again.

"S-stop making me flustered!" she complained, scowling as she grabbed her gamepad again, continuing her game. "It's not fair, you have no shame!"

Lapis snort-laughed, then her smug look deepened. "You definitely surprised me two nights ago when you kissed me, though."

"Lapis!" she squeaked, hating how hot her face felt. She continued to play her game, but her mind was too distracted. It was hard to concentrate on fighting and sneaking around guards when someone was flirting with you on your lap.

Lapis snort-laughed again, covering her mouth with her hand to mute the noises. "Oh my god, you're so cute."

"How about you stop embarrassing me and keep on writing?" Peridot suggested quickly as she successfully snuck past a guard and entered the next part of the mission.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'll do my homework _Mum_."

Peridot shot her a quick glare, but let herself be immersed in the game again. Silence fell between the two once more, but Lapis began humming with the background music, which soothed Peridot. She was glad that Lapis could enjoy her music, even if it wasn't to her tastes.

Her mind started to wander off again, which slightly irritated her. She just wanted to play her game, but then again, she played it before, so she supposed it didn't matter too much.

She thought back to two nights ago, at V's party, remember the overwhelming feelings that overtook her when she sat beside Lapis. Pearl's words from just over two weeks ago flooded her mind, and she began to familiarise herself with the feelings she described about Rose. But that left Peridot thinking about the whole situation.

She cleared her throat slightly. "Lapis? What are we?"

Lapis looked up from her book, glancing at Peridot with a small, confused expression. "What do you mean?"

"Like…" Peridot paused her game and fiddled with Lapis' hair, enjoying the silky touch. "I don't understand social constructs around relationships very well, but are we dating? Or in a relationship? Is there a difference between those? I don't know what we are. Am I supposed to consider you a girlfriend, or… I don't know?"

Peridot was sure Lapis was going to interrupt her rambling, but the other girl watched with a serious expression.

"If it makes you feel better, we can talk about it seriously, so we both understand where we're at," Lapis suggested, moving herself from Peridot's lap to sit up on the bed, crossing her legs.

Peridot nodded, and Lapis thought for a moment. "Well, we've expressed romantic interest in each other, so most people would call this a relationship. It is normal for one of the persons in question to ask the other out before a relationship starts, but it isn't necessary. Would you be comfortable in a relationship?"

Peridot bit her lip. "I-I'm not sure. I've been asexual my whole life, meaning I've never considered relationships before. Well, not _seriously_. And now I am and… it's a scary thought. It'll take time for me to fully appreciate romance, but I'm learning." She sent Lapis a small, yet uncertain smile. "I'm glad I'm learning with you."

Lapis' lips curled into a shy smile, and Peridot was thrilled to see her cheeks heat with colour for the second time ever. "That's really sweet of you to say Peri. If you like, we can hold off the relationship status and just be us, knowing we care about each other."

"I'm n-not sure if I want that either…" Peridot trailed off, staring at her hands stressing with the cuffs of her hoodie. "I-if I'm anything like Pearl, we both share the love for organisation and precision. I don't think I'm comfortable with not knowing what we really are, it would create a bit of confusion for me. I think I just need a helping hand with relationships." Realising she started ranting again, she quickly stammered out, "I'm s-sorry I'm indecisive."

"Well, I can help you understand and feel comfortable with relationships with time," Lapis offered sincerely, a small smile tugging her lips. "Peridot, would you like to be in a relationship with me?"

For some reason, the wording made Peridot blush. It… felt more intimate. A waterfall of thoughts flooded through her mind. She was initially appalled by the concept of relationships, but here, avoiding eye contact with Lapis but at the same time unable to pry her eyes away, it seemed more inviting.

"I-I… yes."

"Then that's settled," Lapis replied and bent forward to kiss Peridot's cheek. "Anymore questions?"

Peridot's blush reddened further at the touch. "M-maybe later, I think I'm all questioned out."

Lapis sent her a soothing smile as her response, then fell back into the head of the bed frame. Peridot watched her become swallowed by her tower of pillows, and when Lapis waved at her to come to her, she contentedly obliged. Grabbing her gamepad, as Lapis had her book in her lap again, Peridot collapsed next to Lapis, instantly preferring the comfort of cushions behind her than air as previously.

Lapis hummed her approval as she snuggled into Peridot's side, leaning her cheek against the smaller girl's shoulder. The heat rose in her face even though she knew she should be used to the platonic touching by now. She thought about wrapping an arm around Lapis' shoulders, as the blue-haired enigma had done so many times, but decided that Lapis probably didn't want a face full of a controller whilst she worked on her creative writing.

Peridot turned her attention away, stretching her legs as she unpaused the game. She noticed Lapis' unfinished muffin and frowned a little. The girl didn't eat much at school, so it surprised her she still wasn't eating. She wiggled her shoulder to gain Lapis' attention.

"Hey Lapis? Are you going to eat your muffin?" Peridot asked with concern.

Lapis grunted a negative noise. Peridot took that as a 'no' and grabbed the muffin for herself.

As she took a bite, she commented, "I don't know how you're not hungry."

Lapis shrugged, and Peridot took her silence as an invitation to _not_ question further. Despite her worries, at least she got another half muffin. Her appetite was nothing compared to Amethyst's, but she was certainly second in line.

Peridot slipped into the world of the game, completely forgetting her surroundings for up to an hour. The only thing she recognised about the real world was the way Lapis hummed to the tune of some songs that played from the stereo every now and again, but it wasn't enough to pull her from the fictional world.

After about an hour of immersing herself in the game, she saved and quit, reaching over Lapis lying on her left to place the controller on her stereo. She let her arm fall over Lapis' shoulders instead of dragging it back to herself, and opted to stare at her free hand toying with her shirt under her hoodie.

After some silence, Peridot cleared her throat. "Hey Lapis?"

Lapis hummed a response, indicating she was listening despite still scribbling in her exercise book.

"About the whole relationship thing - being, well, _me_ , I don't understand it 100%, so this might be an awkward question but… Does this m-mean I'm your partner?" Lapis finally looked up, and Peridot blushed a little before she added in a whisper, "Girlfriend…?"

The term felt so _alien_ to her. She felt it wasn't the right word, much like 'relationship', like it was obscene, perhaps like a curse was to a child. She supposed she was a child in the romantic world.

"Generally speaking, yes. But hey, I'm yours too," Lapis stated, uttering the last words cheekily as Peridot's cheeks flushed. For extra effect, she poked Peridot in the nose, earning a confused glare.

"Y-yes, okay. I just thought of another question."

"Yeah?" Lapis adjusted her attention back to her book.

Peridot briefly thought of Pearl's relationship with Rose. "Do we keep this a secret?"

Lapis was silent for a while, her pen tapping against her book in thought. "Do you want to keep it a secret?"

Peridot bit her lip. She didn't have many people to tell - her friends and her mother was all there was. But it also raised the question if they were going to express affection publicly, which Peridot preferred to stay away from. "Other than from my friends, I-I think so."

"What about your mum?"

Peridot noticed Lapis' hand had reached her free hand, and started tracing circles on the outside of it. The touch made her hand tingle, but she tried to stifle blushing from it.

Thinking back to the question, she wasn't entirely sure. Her mother wasn't homophobic, made obvious from her relationship with Krystal, but she also didn't think her mother was supportive of relationships anymore. And if she was honest, her bond with her mother wasn't as strong as she wished it to be. Peridot shook her head. "N-not yet. Will you tell yours?"

"Perhaps. If you don't want me to, that's okay." Lapis smiled warmly, sliding her fingers between Peridot's. "I want to make you comfortable, okay?"

Peridot sent Lapis an affectionate smile. "Thank you."

Lapis returned to writing in her book, in effect drawing her hand away from Peridot's. She didn't mind too much, she was spacing off anyway.

It was so much to take in - was she really dating this girl cuddled up to her side, writing about her for her English assignment? Peridot felt her eyes resting on Lapis' face buried in her shoulder, and began running her hands through her silky blue hair. It was definitely surreal. No doubt. But Peridot was glad she could call Lapis her partner.

A stupid grin curled her lips just at the thought of it.

A new song began playing on the stereo, and Peridot instinctively hummed along, mumbling some of the words out contentedly. She knew she didn't have the vocal talent to sing in tune, but she couldn't help it. Music surprisingly played a part in her life.

She glanced through the semi-transparent curtains draped over the window in her room. It was getting dark out, evident by the deep pinks and purples glinting in the sky and transforming the clouds.

Lapis seemed to notice too.

"Yeah, I should probably be going home soon," Lapis muttered, stretching away from Peridot's body. Peridot tried not to frown or sigh at that.

She watched as Lapis trudged to her bag, shoving her work in it and slinging it over her shoulder. Peridot jumped off the bed and reached out to the door, holding it open for her sheepishly. Lapis gave her a mocking smile, but walked through, Peridot trailing behind.

Lapis stepped out the front door, watching the sky melt into an array of colours.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" she mused, her eyes alight with wonder.

"Yeah…" Peridot stared at the sky too. Sometimes, she forgot to take the time to appreciate the small things in life. "Beautiful like you."

Lapis snorted and nudged an elbow into Peridot's ribs. "Don't be going sappy on me, Peridork."

Peridot laughed nervously, a blush quickly spreading across her face. "I don't think I was meant to say that out loud. But, um, c-can you show me the story you wrote?"

"I haven't finished it yet," she admitted with a scoff, but softened at Peridot's puppy-dog expression. "I want to show it to you when I have it completely finished. Hopefully the next time I see you, I can read it to you."

"That would be great!" Peridot exclaimed, a shy grin overtaking her features. The song that played before she left the room echoed in her head, and she let out a small gasp. "Lapis, do you know what we are?"

Lapis raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you already ask that today?"

"Yes, but Lapis, we're gasoline and matches!" she replied excitedly as she inched closer.

"You mean, like the song that played?"

Peridot breathed in sharply, her eyes alight with giddiness. "You were listening! Yeah!"

Lapis hummed, a smile curling her lips. "Well, why are we gasoline and matches?"

"Well, you set me alight." Peridot's blush returned as she stared back up at the darkening sky. "Like, I'm not great with words, but I'm the match, something ordinary and harmless until struck with force. You're the gasoline, capable of making things wild. Together, we're a fire burning."

"That's oddly poetic of you," Lapis teased, but stepped closer to Peridot, placing her hands on her shoulders. "You may be harmless, but you are certainly not ordinary. You're _amazing_."

The heat rose up to Peridot's face instantly, and before she could think about it, the question slipped out. "Can I kiss you?"

Lapis blinked in surprised, then a short burst of snort-giggles escaped her. "You don't have to ask!"

"Sorry, I thought it would be polite to ask." Peridot's face burned even more, out of embarrassment this time.

Lapis' hands, still situated on Peridot's shoulders, rose to cup her face. Peridot fidgeted, but was forced to look up to Lapis when she raised her chin.

"You're adorable," she breathed, dipping down to brush her lips against Peridot's. Once again, the constricting, _addictive_ feeling churned in her chest, making her heart thud against her ribcage and her throat burn. Peridot let out a pleased hum, wrapping her arms around Lapis' neck to play with her hair.

They slowly drifted apart, Peridot hiding her burning face against Lapis' chest as her arms fell to her sides. "Thank you for being with me."

"Thank you for trusting me," Lapis murmured and pulled away entirely. "I'll see you at school tomorrow, okay?"

Disappointment glazed over Peridot's eyes, but she nodded anyways. "Yeah, see you."

Lapis waved as she began treading back home, the sun falling over the horizon entirely and the street lamps lighting up the night. Peridot sighed, shoving her hands into her hoodie pockets and kicking the door closed behind her. Looking up, she breathed another sigh of relief, noticing her mother was in the kitchen, rendering her unable to see her… intimacy.

Thinking of the kiss, Peridot stumbled back to her room, raising one hand to touch her tingling lips as she muttered the lyrics of the song replaying in her head.

_Burn... I'm burning in my skin._

_Can't get them outta my head,_

_The words, these words you said to me, yeah._

_Stop my heart barely beating._

_And now stuck on repeat, I can't sleep through this madness,_

_It's madness…_

_Tame a fire, suffer to live in the ashes, in the ashes._

_That's what happens, when gasoline plays with matches._

_…_

_And we just wanna be burned._


	15. Deeper Love

Deeper Love

The house was dead silent, save for the television quietly blaring music in a foreign language. No chatter about irrelevant issues in society, or the patter of feet against the morning cold tiles. It was peaceful, something that came at irregular intervals.

The television framed a beautiful Korean girl, her hair curving and defining her face almost perfectly, but that could've been effects. Pearl sighed, both in annoyance and in delusion.

She didn't usually find herself situated in the lounge room on the white leather couch (terrible colour choice, she noted as she scrunched her face up at the stains), but she found herself drawn more and more to music the further into the year time passed. She even went to the trouble of memorising the times when the Asian pop show would air on Sundays.

Annoyance briefly flooded Pearl's mind as she watched a music video that had already aired once during the show, but she really couldn't complain. Ailee was a gorgeous singer, almost as attractive as—

Pearl leapt out of her seat suddenly as her phone rang out beside her. Clutching a hand to her chest to feel the rapid thudding against her ribcage, she eagerly reached for her phone with her other hand.

_Rose._

She quickly brought her phone to the side of her face, biting her lip to stop the giddy smile from erupting. Eyeing the pop singer on the television, Pearl greeted, "Hey Rose."

"Hey Pearl." Pearl felt herself melting just hearing Rose's voice; how a voice could be so soothing and dreamy was beyond her. "Are you busy today?"

Pearl knew she didn't need to, but she shook her head anyway. "No. I was only planning to study for the upcoming Physics test."

Pearl heard Rose's pleased hum and sighed happily at the sound. "Would you like to catch up today, then?"

"Of course. Whereabouts?"

Pearl kept her gaze trained on the television screen, and had to stifle a gasp at the teaser trailer to BTS' new song _Blood, Sweat and Tears_. If she was honest, Korean boys were probably the only people to make her consider heterosexuality. Not that she would ever exchange Rose for them.

"Pearl?" Rose's voice called out through the receiver.

Pearl's face became heated when she realised she hadn't been listening. "Sorry Rose! I was just… uh… watching a music video teaser."

"A music video is more captivating than me?" she teased, and Pearl instantly felt guilty.

"I-I'm sorry. Uh, you were saying about the whereabouts?"

"It's okay to be distracted Pearl," Rose assured, her soft voice already mending Pearl's guilt. "I was suggesting I could come to your place?"

Pearl froze on her spot on the couch, and her eyes darted to the front door over her shoulder. "Um… that's not a good idea."

"Why is that?"

"It just isn't," Pearl snapped, hating the way her tone went cold.

A few moments of silence passed, and Pearl buried her face into her hands as anxiety swelled in her chest.

_Oh god, she hates me, she hates me, she ha—_

"Is everything alright, Pearl?" Rose asked in a voice barely above a whisper, and the guilt sunk in her stomach heavier than before.

"Everything's f-fine, Rose… Can we talk about this later?"

"Okay." Pearl rubbed at her eyes, holding in a hiss at how easily her eyes became watery. Something kept telling her she mucked up, and it twisted her chest further.

"Would you like to go to the cafe?" Rose asked after the silence became overwhelming.

"That would be great."

"Would you like me to pick you up?"

Pearl shook her head. An involuntarily habit. "No. I'll meet you at yours."

"Okay." Pearl heard Rose exhale a long breath. "I'll see you in 20 minutes?"

"Yeah."

"Stay safe, okay?"

Pearl let out a few half-hearted breathy laughs. "You too. See you, Rose." She dragged the phone away from her ear and tapped the 'end call' button, then sunk further into her hands.

_I've stuffed this up. She's going to leave me. I deserve it._

Pearl's eyes flickered open, narrowing them at the palms of her hands.

_Stop._

Degrading herself wasn't on her schedule for the day, she decided. With a deflated sigh, Pearl stood from the couch, stretching her limbs a little. She strode to her bedroom, rummaging in her closet for a warmer attire. The autumn chill was soon to become unforgiving.

She eyed the leather jacket she wore at the party, her _first_ party, and her face sunk. It was nice to be different for a day, but she had no intention to be… 'Bad Pearl' again, as Amethyst called it. However, it was rather interesting to watch Rose's reactions… some reactions more than others. Like being pushed up against a wall, Rose's lips skimming her skin, her ton—

Pearl blushed at the memory and shook her head desperately. She didn't need her 'cool' facade anymore, whether to impress her friends or to seduce Rose. She instead pulled out a peach coloured cardigan to wrap around her petite frame. Looking in the mirror, she enjoyed the way it matched her natural hair colour.

_It was nice to go pink for a while, at least._

She tugged her pink Vans over her long, pale pink socks (honestly, she had no other pairs of shoes, other than ballet flats, but unfortunately they weren't as great to wear out) and made a grab for her keys. Eyeing herself once more in the mirror, she sighed and closed her bedroom door behind her. After pocketing her phone and purse, she locked the front door and made her way into town, stressing with her hands subconsciously.

_What if she sees me differently now? I can't lose her._

_You won't. I won't._

_But I snapped at her! Rose will forgive me, right?_

_…_

After about 14 minutes of anxious thinking and threading her fingers together nervously, she noticed the familiar flurry of pink curls in the distance outside her house. Rose hastily strode over to Pearl, her white skirt fluttering with the speed.

Pearl felt her heart thudding in her chest with anxiety, and prepared for a scolding, or at least a barrage of questions. Instead, she felt Rose's warm embrace as she tucked Pearl under her chin, her arms linking around her waist.

"You're not mad?" Pearl whispered into Rose's collarbone, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Of course not! Are you okay, Pearl?" she murmured into her hair.

"I-I… uh, I…" Pearl's words caught in her throat, constricting any coherent sentences. "I'll tell you at the cafe."

"Okay." Rose moved her head a little and planted a gentle kiss on Pearl's forehead. Pearl flinched away from the touch, staring at Rose with wide-eyes.

"Rose! We can't… we can't do stuff like that in public!" she exclaimed, her eyes darting around her surroundings. She relaxed a little as she realised no one was watching, but still tensely squeezed her hands.

Rose's face fell slightly, but reformed into a caring expression. "Let's go to the cafe."

Pearl grimly nodded, adding to her list of failures. The two walked in silence, the awkwardness becoming deafening until they reached their destination. Rose held open the door to the cafe, urging Pearl in. She trudged in, head low with guilt and disappointment in herself.

She stood by the front counter with Rose, gazing at the menu in disinterest. After about a minute, she decided on a chai latte and a blueberry muffin, despite her appetite dwindling. As she went to pay, Rose held her hand back, giving her a pleading look.

"Please, let me pay," she offered, and before Pearl could argue, she already handed the money over.

Pearl sullenly collapsed into a seat surrounding the cleanest table she could find. Rose plonked in front of her, her worried expression increasing with each passing second.

"Please Pearl, tell me what's wrong. I want to help you," Rose requested, sorrow reflecting in her eyes.

Pearl rubbed her arm awkwardly, staring at the centre of the table after checking her surroundings. Nobody seemed to be listening.

"I'm sorry Rose, for being a mess. It's just that… I don't want people to know about us. Especially my parents."

"You're not a mess," Rose assured in a hushed tone and draped a hand over the table, vaguely offering it to Pearl. "So you don't like public displays of affection?"

Pearl hunched her shoulders into her jaw, but gently brushed her fingers beside Rose's hand. "Not really… I'm sorry Rose."

"Don't be sorry, Pearl, please. But…" Rose's voice was desperate yet calming at first, but a small teasing smile curved her lips after a pause. "You didn't seem to mind when you kissed me at the party."

Pearl's eyes bulged out of her head and a blush spread across her cheeks. "That's different!" she spluttered, checking again to see no one heard.

"Oh? How so?" Rose continued, knowing that teasing would help improve Pearl's mood in the short term.

"W-well! It was at a party, nobody pays attention to intimacy, because it's normal!" Pearl scrambled for a reply, then added, "And plus, you know I was playing brave!"

"Our friends seemed to notice. We weren't exactly hidden, Pearl, and let's not forget it was… heated."

"Rose!" Pearl's entire face burned bright red. "You're embarrassing me!"

Rose smiled apologetically. "Sorry, I couldn't help myself. You're awfully cute when blushing."

Pearl groaned, hiding her face into the palms of her hands. "Save me," she mumbled.

A waitress brought their orders to the table, placing Pearl's chai and muffin in front of her (despite cowering into her palms), and a hot chocolate and toastie in front of Rose. Reluctantly, Pearl dragged her drink to her lips, relishing the sweetness awakening her tastebuds.

"I hate to bring the mood down, but I'm curious and worried Pearl," Rose began, dropping two marshmallows in her drink and taking a sip. "Why don't you want people to know about us?"

Pearl sighed, her eyes drooping to stare at the muffin in front of her. She picked off a little and stuffed it into her mouth, bored with the taste as soon as it touched her tongue. "I did say I would tell you what's wrong, didn't I…"

After a moment of silence to regain her thoughts, Pearl finally began explaining herself. "I don't feel comfortable being out. Especially to my parents, I-I think… I think they're homophobic. And I'm terrified that everyone else is, and that I'll - we'll - be shunned for our relationship."

"Oh, Pearl." Rose dropped her toasted sandwich, reaching out to tenderly cup Pearl's cheek, stroking away the wetness around her eyes. Pearl hadn't realised she started crying.

"I want to show you love whenever I see you Rose, I really do. You're all that I think of. But I… I can't handle being judged. Not by strangers and not by my parents."

"It's okay Pearl. We can keep our relationship a secret," Rose soothingly suggested, removing her hand away from her cheek. "I want you to be happy."

"I want you to be happy too, Rose!" Pearl almost cried out, but choked it down with a sip of her drink. She wiped a hand over her eyes, collecting any loose tears and dissipating them.

Rose seemed stunned, but relaxed her expression. "I'm happy whenever I get to be with you. I don't mind if we can't share affection in public, because you're still amazing as a friend. I don't appreciate you on how much you can love me; I appreciate you for your phenomenal personality and the way you care so much about _everything_."

Pearl choked back a sob. She couldn't be falling apart in a cafe, of all places. She looked up, giving Rose a watery smile. "Really?"

"Of course, my Pearl," Rose instantly replied, offering a hopeful smile.

"I-I… thank you so much. You're wonderful," Pearl mumbled, her smile turning giddy. If she wasn't in public she would've leant over the table and given Rose a kiss.

Rose's smile grew, and the pair fell into comfortable silence. Once Rose finished her toasted sandwich, Pearl pushed her muffin towards her, taking off a chunk and swallowing before so. Rose sent her a worried glance, but at Pearl's content smile, she wolfed down the muffin.

As they finished their drinks, Pearl gazed through the cafe blinds, watching the cars roll down the street towards the beach.

"Would you like to come back with me?" Rose asked after taking the last sip of her hot chocolate.

"To yours?"

"Yeah. We can watch silly cat videos and cuddle on my bed." Rose rose from her seat, coming over to Pearl's side and resting her hand on her shoulder. "You ready?"

Pearl nodded and sat up too, briefly wrapping her arms around Rose. "Thank you for being amazing," she muttered over Rose's shoulder, then pulled away.

The comfortable silence continued as the couple exited the cafe, Rose quickly waving goodbye to the cashier. Pearl assumed Rose was friends with basically _everyone_ in Beach City.

"Do you want to talk about your parents?" Rose carefully asked, leading Pearl down the street towards the beach.

Pearl's heart sunk. _I thought we moved on from this?_

"N-not really," she replied, biting her lip slightly. "I mean, I love them. They're my parents, but… I hate thinking that they have bad streaks."

"Nobody's perfect Pearl."

_You are, Rose._

Rose continued on. "What makes you think they're homophobic?"

Pearl thought back to all the LGBT+ shows that aired on television, remembering being open watching them until her parents' snarky comments about the characters' relationships started. She shuddered knowing the worst came from her mother.

"Well, my parents and I used to watch shows together all the time. Now we don't…" Pearl trailed off, wringing her hands. "We we're watching Orphan Black when I heard Mum's first homophobic comments. My dad was less open on his opinions, but he still agreed with Mum."

Despite the less-than-happy anecdote, Rose's eyes lit up. "You watch that too? Cosima's the cutest."

Pearl chuckled a little, loving the fact Rose could find the good parts in anything. "I think Delphine is pretty great, but I agree with you about Cosima."

"And Felix. So all the gay ones." Rose laughed too, covering her mouth slightly to mute the giggles.

"Yeah." Pearl heaved a long sigh. "I don't want them disappointed in me."

Rose stayed silent for a while, either thinking about a response or realising 'they' was Pearl's parents. "Do you think you can change their minds?"

"I can't. That's just how they think, which means I need to hide from them."

"I won't say it's unlikely they'll react badly, because I've seen parents disown their children, but keep your head up, okay? If they love you, they'll accept your choices, even if it takes a long time."

Pearl shook her head. "Thank you Rose, but I don't want to come out to them until I know I have somewhere to go if they don't accept me."

More silence settled between the two, before Pearl chuckled bitterly.

"It's funny, they let me keep real swords, _weapons_ , in the house, but God forbid if I kiss a girl."

Rose giggled a little too, but it seemed forced.

"Please don't let this bring you down Pearl," she pleaded. "I don't want anyone stopping you from being happy."

"I'll try."

The couple arrived at Rose's house, a place Pearl was happy to become familiar with. They stepped in, the aroma of baked cookies wafting through their noses. A tall, somewhat chubby man was resting against the kitchen counter, his auburn hair curling around his face and under his chin. He grinned at the new arrivals through a face full of cookies.

"Hey Rose," he greeted, adjusting his position against the kitchen-top. His eyes drifted to lock with Pearl's nervous ones. "You must be Pearl?"

Pearl's face reddened slightly. "Y-you know me?"

"Rose talks about you all the time."

At the mention of her name, Rose linked hands with Pearl. She went to tug her hand away, but Rose sent her a gentle smile.

"Pearl, this is my dad," she introduced.

"You talk about me?" Pearl muttered, blushing a little more before turning her attention to Rose's father. "Hi. Uh, what's your name?"

"I'm Sal. It's nice to meet you." His smile grew, reminding Pearl of Rose's.

Pearl scrambled to continue what threads they had left for a conversation before Rose bent down to whisper into her ear.

"He knows about us. It's okay Pearl."

Pearl's body went cold, anxiety booming in her ribcage, hands shaking. She looked up, expecting the man to be yelling at her, shouting at her to leave his daughter alone, but all she was greeted with was a broad smile.

She needed to hear it from his mouth. "You know about us?"

Sal's eyes trailed down Pearl's arm to the hand gripping onto Rose's like a vice. "Yeah. From what Rose tells me, I'm glad she found such a nice girl. And seeing you in person, you two look great for each other."

Pearl breathed shakily as her blush deepened. "I—uh, thank you."

"You don't need to be afraid around me," Sal assured after stuffing another cookie in his mouth. "I support both of you. I hope I can get to know you better Pearl. But for now, would you two like a cookie?"

He extended the baking tray out to the pair, but both shook their heads. "We just ate."

"Ah alright."

Rose gestured to her bedroom, sending Pearl a calm smile. Pearl returned it as she held onto Rose's hand still, letting herself be pulled away. As they entered her room, Pearl gasped. A white cat was curled up on Rose's bed, purring into the pink duvet.

Rose edged closer to the feline and ran a hand softly over its thick fur. "This is Lion."

Pearl raised an eyebrow skeptically. "You named your cat Lion? How creative."

"Come on, say hello to him," Rose urged, sinking into the bed next to the cat and scratching his neck.

Pearl frowned a little. Cats were nice, but she wouldn't go out her way to introduce herself to one. With a sigh, she sat beside Lion, tentatively stroking his back. He rolled a little in his spot, exposing his chin and a happy little smile.

Pearl's frown turned into a small smile. "Well, I guess he is cute."

"Almost as cute as you," Rose replied, her smile turning smug.

Pearl spluttered for a response, mumbling out incoherent grumbles as her cheeks flushed crimson. Rose leant over Lion and kissed Pearl's forehead, stopping the line of unintelligible words and reddening her entire face.

"Can I do that now?" she purred in a similar fashion to the cat.

"Of course," she scoffed, urging her blush to dissipate. "Didn't you say something about watching cat videos?"

"Oh, yes!" Rose reached over to her beside table, pulling her laptop to her… well, lap. "I wanted to cheer you up."

"I'm okay now," Pearl replied, reluctantly moving Lion to another part of the bed, and sighing in relief when he didn't sink his claws into her skin. She scooted closer to Rose, leaning her head against her shoulder as she brought up Youtube.

"You're only _okay_. I'm going to cheer you up more," Rose insisted, clicking on a silly animals compilation video.

Rose was giggling within seconds, but Pearl budged from joining in. A few times, a little 'heh' escaped from her, but nothing monumental. Rose nudged her after the compilation finished.

"Seriously? If cute animals can't make you laugh, then what will?" Rose questioned, making an overdramatic performance of being deflated.

Pearl's smile grew wider at Rose's act. "Witty jokes will make me laugh, but _please_ don't search them up. I doubt the Internet can provide."

Rose had already typed 'witty jokes' into Google. She brought up a link and turned the computer screen away from Pearl, clearing her throat.

"Are you ready for the best comedy the Internet can provide?" Rose announced, bowing once to the left, then to the right. Pearl found herself smiling oddly at this.

"Rose, this isn't goi—"

"It seems the dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa," Rose read out in her most convincing voice, giggling afterwards.

Pearl snorted, shaking her head as a stupid grin curled her lips. "Clever."

Rose fixed herself up, straightening her back and putting on her best pokerface. "So there was a prison break, right? I saw a midget climb up the fence. As she jumped down, she sneered at me and I thought, well that's a _little condescending_."

Rose herself shook her head, unable to force down the chuckles. When Pearl didn't make a sound, she whined, "Aw, that one was funny! It's even funnier when you imagine it's Peridot."

Pearl had to refrain from laughing (yet failed slightly) at the last statement. Peridot in prison? _As if._

"Like I said, the Internet isn't very witty," Pearl replied, a proud smile curving her lips.

"Well, I was walking to the store the other day and this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere."

"Rose!" Pearl scolded, a blush tinging her cheeks. "No dirty jokes! Those aren't funny."

Rose burst out giggling, rubbing her face with her hand. "Well, you're smiling."

"No I'm not!" Pearl argued, forcing her face into a frown.

"Whatever you say," Rose replied, a knowing smile curling her lips. "You're _supposed_ to be laughing though."

"I shouldn't be."

Rose sighed, closing her laptop and putting it off to the side. She inched back to Pearl's side, wrapping an arm around her waist. "You're just a tough nut."

Pearl hummed as she quickly melted into the embrace, curling into Rose's side. "Well, I'm more than happy with cuddling."

"Oh really?" Rose commented, wrapping her other arm around Pearl as she repositioned herself in her lap. She snuggled her head under Rose's chin, enjoying the warm embrace. "What about this?"

Rose squeezed Pearl's sides gently, grinning at the yelp that escaped from Pearl.

"What are you doing?" Pearl questioned with wide eyes, but it already clicked in her head.

Rose squeezed again, and a burst of giggles tumbled out of Pearl's mouth. "Rose, no!"

"Tickling makes you laugh!" Rose realised, letting her fingers dance around Pearl's waist. Pearl laughed more, but jolted away.

"S-stop!" she commanded through snickers, trying to leap out of Rose's lap. Rose merely wrapped her arms tighter around Pearl's waist, tugging her back to her lap. Her back pressed against Rose's front as she braced herself for more tickles.

"Okay," Rose purred as she dipped her head to Pearl's neck. Pearl's blood rushed to her face when Rose's lips brushed against her skin. "Are you happier with this arrangement?"

"R-Rose!" Pearl squeaked as she trailed kisses up her neck and to her jaw.

"There's my giggly Pearl," Rose hummed as she planted more kisses on Pearl's neck.

"Rose!" Pearl repeated, this time after trying to stifle giddy giggles.

"Oh? Do you want me to stop?" Rose hovered over Pearl's skin, her breath tickling her nerves.

Pearl swallowed. "I-I never said that."

"Then what is it, my Pearl?" Rose asked, still breezing against Pearl's skin.

Pearl turned around in Rose's lap, bringing her face close to Rose's. She pressed her lips onto hers, humming as she brought her arms around Rose's neck to play with her pink locks. Pearl slowly pulled away, hovering only an inch above Rose's face.

"Don't you think my lips deserve some attention?"

Rose agreed by reconnecting her lips with Pearl's, tightening her grip on her waist and bringing her closer. Pearl's insides twisted at the touch of Rose's lips, and she honestly couldn't be happier than she was right now. She deepened the kiss, Pearl purring as her mouth was set alight by being explored.

Rose pulled away, going back to kissing her jaw, nipping a bit as she reached her neck. Pearl stifled a yelp by biting her lip, nuzzling her face against Rose's. Before she could stop herself, the words tumbled out in a emotional wave.

"I love you Rose."

Rose paused on her neck, and immediately replied, "I love you too, Pearl."

"R-really?"

Rose lifted her head entirely from Pearl's skin, gazing into her eyes lovingly. "Of course I do Pearl. You mean everything to me. You have for a long time."

Pearl's eyes brimmed with tears. She softly pressed her lips against Rose's, then pulled away. "Thank you—" Another tender kiss. "—so much." She brought her body closer to Rose's, kissing her deeper. "You're my everything too."

Rose giggled against her lips, and the couple fell back into the bed, Pearl cradling into her side as she planted kisses on Rose's jaw.

"Is Bad Pearl making a comeback?" Rose murmured flirtatiously.

Pearl hummed. "Maybe another day." She pressed gentle kisses against Rose's neck, going as far as her collarbone, before nuzzling her face into the crook of her neck. "For now, I'm happy cuddling here."


	16. Come With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: emotional/mental instability

Come With Me

The skies above rumbled with anticipation, not quite thunder, but not quite nothing either. Rain sprinkled down into shallow puddles littering the pathway for the first time in months. The full autumn weather was dawning, a chilly breeze in the air as the warm rain pitter-pattered.

Peridot watched the drizzle trail down her window, watching the meek sky darken with the evening. With a sigh, she sarcastically thought, _as if Mondays couldn’t get any more depressing._

Despite the thought, a weak smile curled her lips. Rain wasn’t something she was entirely fond of, due to its relationship with the scariest noise on Earth (thunder), but she could appreciate the change in weather, perhaps even mildly like it. Sprinkling water could be refreshing.

Peridot glanced down at the tablet cradled in her lap, the image of a Youtube thumbnail covering the entire screen. On rainy days like these, she liked to snuggle into her bed and binge-watch Youtube series, usually long let’s play videos. After having dinner, she retreated to her room for just that, but her thoughts began to wonder.

Before any coherent thoughts however, her phone began to vibrate on the computer desk. Hearing the rattling against the wood, Peridot launched over to the device, a small wave of fear flooding through her. She wasn’t exactly an adept at talking via phones.

When Lapis’ name flashed across the screen, she relaxed briefly, then tensed back up. Lapis didn’t normally call her.

“Lapis?” Peridot answered, running her tongue across her teeth anxiously.

Silence fell for a few seconds, before Peridot heard a small hiccup.

“ _I’ve been good, I’ve been bad… But this moment is all we really have._ ” An uncertain pause from Lapis, but Peridot felt her heart thundering in her chest. She knew those words. “ _So when the night is calling, I pick up the phone. A voice is singing sweetly…_ ”

“You don’t have to be alone.” Peridot swallowed.

“Come with me…” Lapis finished, her voice cracking and trailing off.

Two questions nagged Peridot, but she chose the more urgent one. “Are you okay?”

“I need you. _Please_.”

“Ah, a-alright,” Peridot stammered, glancing at the moon glimmering in the sky. “You want me to come to yours?”

“Yes.”

The sound of an ended call beeped in Peridot’s ear. She sent a shocked look at her phone, surprised that Lapis hung up abruptly. Her heart thudded in her chest as she scrambled for her shoes, tugging them over her fluffy bed socks. She would later regret that, when her socks were damp from the rain, but Lapis sounded desperate.

“How am I going to tell Mum this?” Peridot murmured under her breath as she tugged a black hoodie on. She thought of the room next to hers and decided that her mother didn’t need to know. She shoved her phone into her hoodie pocket and tiptoed out of her room and to the laundry, quietly slipping through the door.

As soon as the rain soaked into her clothes, an unexpected shiver rattled her body. Gritting her teeth, she pressured the gate to open as quietly as possible, then snuck past the front yard and jogged down the pathway. As much as she hated exercise, Peridot wouldn’t keep Lapis waiting too long.

Her feet occasionally stepped into shallow puddles, splashing dirty water up her jeans and into her socks. The feeling made her shudder, but she tried to ignore it for the sake of Lapis.

Peridot pondered calling Lapis again, to check up on her, but something told her she’d be ignored. Putting all her effort into running, she battled against the light rain and skirted a corner onto Lapis’ street. 

By the time her counterpart’s house was in view, her breaths were short and rugged, urging oxygen into her tired, unfit body. A glint caught her eye as she neared, noticing a figure hunched in the shadows against the fence. The moonlight danced across blue hair, and Peridot’s heart pounded in her ears.

“Lapis!?” she called out, finally skidding to a stop by the girl. She was drenched, her soaked blue skirt clinging to her bare legs, and not-so-stifled sobs were choking her throat. “Lapis, what’s wr—”

Weak arms strangled Peridot’s waist, effectively cutting off her sentence with a startled grunt. Lapis buried her face into Peridot’s shoulder, muffling her wrangled cries into her skin. Peridot reflexively wrapped one hand around Lapis’ waist, the other slinking up her back and playing with her hair softly.

“Hey, what happened?” Peridot tried to ask as soothingly as possible, despite her emotions wanting to yell out the question.

Lapis sniffled against her shoulder, but said nothing.

“Do you want to stand under shelter?” Peridot glanced up at the sky, the raindrops smearing against her glasses and blurring her vision.

“No,” Lapis answered, her voice weak and quiet. She shuffled on her feet, then gently pulled back from the embrace. Peridot felt her heart sink at the tears streaming her face, uncountable as they blended with the rain. “Let’s just be here.”

“In the rain?” she asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow and snorting disapprovingly.

Lapis let out a deflated sigh and sunk into the wet ground, resting her head on the fence. “Yeah.”

Peridot hesitantly lowered herself to the ground too, cringing at the sogginess dampening her jeans. “The ground is kinda gross.”

“Don’t you mean it’s cloddy?” Lapis retorted, a ghost of a smile on her lips.

“That too.” She shifted closer to Lapis, her expression twisting back to one of sorrow as she wrapped an arm around her. “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Lapis stared at the palms of her hands clenching into weak fists, and sighed once again. “This is stupid, I shouldn’t have called you.”

“Well I’m here now,” Peridot grumbled, then flushed at her sour tone. 

Lapis groaned. “I’m sorry, this is stupid. _I’m_ what’s wrong.”

“That’s not true.” Peridot frowned, tightening her hold on Lapis. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“ _That’s_ not true. There’s plenty wrong with me!” Lapis hissed, tugging her body half-heartedly away from Peridot’s. “I’m a fucking mess.”

Peridot’s frown morphed into worry. “How are you a mess?”

“I’ve been bawling my eyes out for the pass two hours,” Lapis admitted. “I’m so tired of being weak. God, I could do with a drink right now.”

“What!? Why have you been crying, what happened!?” Peridot nearly screeched, staring at Lapis eyes wide with shock.

“You’re not gonna like it.”

“Of course I’m not going to like it, it’s made you upset!”

Lapis flinched. “Well, you liked it earlier today…”

Peridot sent Lapis a bemused half-glare. “What are you talking about?”

“The double date.”

Peridot blushed at the mention of it, but it immediately dissipated into fear. “Why has that made you upset? Did you not want our friends to know?”

“I don’t care if _your_ friends know that we’re dating,” Lapis scoffed. “That’s… not the problem.”

“Then what is?” Peridot urged, her impatience getting the better of her.

Lapis voice fell to barely a whisper. “I’m not a good person.”

“That’s a lie, you’re my favourite person, and my favourite characters are never the bad guys.”

The pure innocence of the compliment made Lapis snort amusedly. “You’re a dork.”

“And you’re a good person,” Peridot assured, smiling wonkily at the pet name.

Lapis turned her head away from Peridot abruptly, staring off towards her backyard. “You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

“No, you don’t!” Lapis spat. She whipped her gaze back to Peridot, her eyes brimming with tears at Peridot’s horrified expression. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… but you don’t know what I’ve done.”

Peridot’s brow lowered in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I told you at the party a week ago, I dated a monster, but… maybe I was the monster, too. She manipulated me, treated me with no respect, pretended I had no feelings, but I was no better. I clung to her, basically begged her to do things to me, craved her like a terrible drug. She might of not become what she was without me.”

“Lapis, stop.” During Lapis’ monologue, Peridot had fully wrapped her arms around her as the rain poured down harder. Peridot buried her head in the crook of her neck. “You’re not a monster, you’re just a dork, like me. We’re perfect imperfections.”

Lapis choked on a sob. “And then there’s Jasper, I treated her like absolute _shit_. I-I just… Pearl and Rose seem so _goddamn perfect_ with each other, and I’m scared I’m not good enough for you. Just a broken toy.”

“Lapis, _stop_ ,” Peridot repeated firmly, squeezing her counterpart tighter. “I love you, okay? From what I’ve seen in shows and fanfictions, it’s ‘too early’ to say that, but goddamn it, it’s true. You’re amazing, you’ve helped me open up and become a more sociable person, and you deserve only the best. So I’ll try to be the best.”

Peridot lifted her head out of Lapis’ neck, freeing a hand from around her waist and gently wiping the tears and rain off her cheeks. At the touch of her finger on Lapis’ cheek, more tears spilt over her eyelids, but Peridot quickly wiped them away too.

Nervously, she quickly planted her lips on Lapis’, the hand at her cheek moving to toy with her hair gently. Filled with warmth but covered in chilling water, Peridot slowly pulled away, flickering her eyes to Lapis’.

“You’re perfect,” Lapis breathed, her eyes still brimming with tears.

“A perfect imperfection,” she corrected, gathering herself to her feet and dusting off her soaking jeans. She offered her hand out to Lapis, an odd smile curving her lips. “Let’s get you warmed up. Come with me?”

Lapis placed her hand into Peridot’s gingerly. “Of course.”

* * *

“Hah, I called it!” Amethyst bellowed, a stupid grin curling her lips and making her already thin eyes squint.

“Amethyst! You don’t need to shout,” Pearl scolded on the other side of the table, her expression softening as Rose plonked beside her.

Amethyst stuck her tongue out at Pearl, but turned her attention to a nervous Peridot and trying-to-be-invisible Lapis. “So you two hooked up at the party?”

“I regret this,” Lapis grumbled, ready to stomp away to her spot in the garden. Peridot latched onto her wrist, sending her a quick pleading glance.

“I don’t like the term ‘hooked up’, but we did reveal our… _feelings_ at the party,” Peridot answered Amethyst in an informative tone.

“That’s great news! You two make a cute couple,” Rose butted in with a compliment, then nudged Pearl softly. “I have an idea!”

Both Peridot and Lapis reddened, the former considerably more so.

“What is it?” Pearl questioned, raising an eyebrow skeptically. 

“We could have a double date to celebrate the new couple!” Rose halted, fists raised in a celebratory fashion, and glanced between Amethyst and Garnet. “Or triple date, if you two want to come.”

Amethyst had been laughing but choked on her food when Rose suggested a triple date. Her tanned cheeks flushing slightly, she answered, “Heh, nah, you guys deserve your dates without us wing-gals.”

Garnet leant back in her seat next to Rose, a smug smile curving her lips. “Sure, that’s the reason Amethyst.”

Her blush deepened, but her expression twisted into a playful scowl. “What!? Maybe they want some privacy to make out or something.”

“Well, that’s my cue to leave,” Lapis deadpanned with an unimpressed expression, and stomped away from their lunch table before anyone could stop her. Peridot watched her disappear into the rainy weather outside.

“Amethyst,” Peridot whined, drawing out the third syllable of her name and glaring at her inannoyance. 

“Sorry Peri, can’t help myself,” Amethyst replied with a coy smile. She earned a half-hearted punch in the arm.

“Are you sure Rose?” Pearl perked up after the little Amethyst ordeal, sending her partner a cautious glance.

“I’ve never done a double date before, but it should be fun,” Rose replied, humming enthusiastically, then turned her attention to Peridot. “What do you think?”

“Me? Uh…” Peridot’s cheeks flamed. “Um, the idea sounds pleasant, but I’ll have to ask Lapis. What day were you thinking?”

“Friday night?” Rose proposed, glancing at Pearl. “Would you like to go on a date?”

Pearl’s reaction was the same as Peridot’s; heat rose to her cheeks. It seemed Rose had this effect on anyone she asked on a date. “Y-yes, of course!”

“Alright! Then it’s a date.” Rose clapped her hands together, winking and giggling at her own pun. “Are you sure you don’t want to come Garnet?”

“Thanks for the offer Rose, but it’s a _date_ night,” she replied, her voice monotone but amused.

“I’ll go ask Lapis,” Peridot suggested, squirming and eager to leave the table before she was asked more questions. She trudged towards the doors leading to the senior quad, eyeing the rain disapprovingly before opening a door. She stepped out, shielding her glasses from the rainfall and searching for Lapis. Her counterpart was nestled under a tree, droplets of water freckling her hair and shining from the distant, muted sunlight.

“Hey Lapis,” Peridot greeted as she knelt in front of the girl, careful not to get her clothes wet. “I’m sorry my friends can be overbearing at times, but it’s great you tried to sit with us for the first time.”

“Emphasis on tried,” Lapis commented sarcastically, but sent Peridot a devious smile as she tugged her down into her lap. The blonde fell down with a yelp, instantly bringing her knees to her chest as Lapis wrapped one arm around her.

“So, uh, d-do you want to do this d-date thing?” Peridot asked, biting her tongue as she stuttered.

Lapis gazed off into the distance over Peridot’s shoulder, a small wave of sadness flashing in her eyes. “With you, yeah.”

Peridot blushed a little, almost thankful the rain was trickling against her cheeks to cool them down. “It’ll be fun.”

“Says the socially inept nerd.”

“Hey, I’m learning to socialise better!” Peridot snapped playfully, a scowl darkening her features.

“You’re adorable.” Lapis placed a quick kiss on Peridot’s cheek, knowing she could get away with it since everyone was inside the school. 

Peridot made incomprehensible noises, spluttering for an answer, but managed to get nothing out. Lapis hummed at her achievement, pecking Peridot’s cheek again as the siren rang.

* * *

Peridot lifted Lapis up, locking their hands together as she pulled her to the side door of her house. Quietly slipping through the laundry door, Peridot guided Lapis to her own bedroom, unsure whether Lapis’ head was working normally with a tide of emotions. When they reached her dark blue room, Peridot stuck her head into her closet.

“We better get you out of those clothes,” she mumbled, digging through the clothing cabinet.

“Are you going to help me outta them?” Lapis asked, her tone teasing.

Peridot blushed bright red, but was glad Lapis’ emotional state was relaxing. “N-no! Just tell me what you want to wear.”

“My PJs are in the wash so just grab whatever.”

Peridot shrugged and pulled out a grey pair of trackies and a navy hoodie. “These good?”

“Yeah, chuck ‘em over.” Lapis held out her hands expectantly, and Peridot threw them before turning back around.

“Let me know when it’s okay to turn around,” Peridot asked, staring at Lapis’ wardrobe of jackets.

“You’re my girlfriend, I don’t care if you’re staring,” Lapis commented smugly, and Peridot’s blush deepened.

“Th-that’s not—”

Lapis snorted-laughed meekly a few times. “I know. Why don’t you find a hoodie to wear? Yours is soaked.”

“Really?” Peridot dug deeper into Lapis’ closet after tugging on her wet sleeves.

“Yeah, I’ll wash yours.”

“Oh, th-thanks.” Peridot pulled out a black hoodie similar to hers, but this one had a small Gameboy Advance pixel on the crest. She quickly tugged her wet hoodie over her shoulders, thankful that her shirt was dry, and pulled Lapis’ Gameboy one on.

“Oh man, that’s one of my faves,” Lapis mused as Peridot sunk onto the floor.

Peridot absentmindedly sniffed the jacket, enjoying the aroma of coffee and sweet deodorant, similar to Lapis herself. “It smells nice, kinda like you.”

“Why thank you, but why are you sitting on the floor?”

Peridot glanced down at her legs. “My jeans are kinda wet too.”

“I don’t care if you wet my bed,” Lapis began but then broke out in snort-giggles. “Wow, that sounded weird. Just c’mere.”

Peridot blushed a little, but climbed onto the bed nonetheless, inching close to Lapis. 

“Are you feeling better now?” Peridot asked in a small voice.

Lapis’ face fell. “Yeah, a little.”

Peridot tapped her fingers together anxiously. “You mentioned someone named Jasper earlier?”

“Yes,” Lapis curtly deadpanned, but sighed.

“She’s one of the ‘Diamond’s kids, right?”

“My half-sister.”

Peridot’s eyes widened. “Ohhh, _she’s_ your sibling? I remember you talking about having a half-sister when we were friends online; never guessed it would be someone in Mum’s business.”

“And I’m dating another person in their business.”

Peridot blushed. “So why were you standing in the rain?”

“I was waiting for you.”

Peridot snorted and rolled her eyes playfully. “You could’ve done that inside, or even under shelter.”

“I like the rain,” Lapis admitted, lying back on the bed. “It’s peaceful and serene. The light drizzle pitter-pattering on the roof, the streaks trailing down your skin, it’s just… nice. It helps me calm down when I’m unstable.”

“That’s… sweet?” Peridot offered before lying down next to Lapis, snuggling into her side.

“Yeah.”

Comfortable silence fell between the two, Peridot listening to Lapis’ heartbeat and uneven breathing, Lapis lovingly observing Peridot. She wrapped an arm around Peridot’s small form, holding her closer.

The second question from earlier popped back into Peridot’s mind.

“Hey, you sung _Come With Me_ when you called me,” she observed, tracing circles on Lapis’ stomach with a steady finger. “Where did you hear it?”

“From you. I felt it described me pretty well, heh.” Lapis shivered under Peridot’s touch, but didn’t prevent it.

Peridot stiffened, then launched up into a sitting position. “Wait! Your English piece! Did you finish describing me?”

Lapis snort-laughed at Peridot’s enthusiasm. “Yeah, I did. I said I’d read you it, didn’t I?”

Peridot’s eyes almost turned into stars. “Yeah!”

“Alright, calm your socks.” Lapis fell off the bed rather ungracefully and tugged out her English book from her bag. Situating herself back on the bed, lying down beside Peridot, she opened her book to the right page and began reading.

“Prepare yourself for the most confusing poetry you’ll ever hear… _The waves are crashing against the shoreline viciously, roaring deafeningly. But they’re also calm and soothing, minuscule waves sweeping up the shore. That’s what this feeling is…_ ”

Lapis held her rather monotone reading of something that felt so dramatic for a few minutes, her confidence trailing off as she finished reading her piece. When she glanced back up, Peridot was staring intently at her, a thick blush spread across her cheeks under her dorky glasses.

“You’re an amazing writer,” Peridot breathed, her voice barely audible. She hesitantly launched on Lapis, her slightly chubby arms clinging around her upper waist. Digging her face into the crook of Lapis’ neck, she asked in a small voice, “Is that how you feel about me?”

“Of course it is, dork,” Lapis teased, sticking her face into Peridot’s messy hair.

Peridot squeaked and stuck her nose further into Lapis’ neck, hiding her very hot cheeks.

“And… I love you too,” Lapis added softly, gently pulling away from Peridot to graze her lips against her temple. Peridot glanced up, noticing Lapis’ eyes glazing over with unshed tears again.

“No, no, don’t cry,” Peridot insisted, cupping her partner’s cheek with a free hand, gently wiping the wetness away with her thumb.

“It’s just that you’re so amazing and I don’t deser—”

“Lapis!” Peridot cried, shaking her head sorrowfully. “Stop saying that! I think you’re amazing too, but we deserve each other, okay?”

Lapis nodded frantically. “I’m sorry! I don’t normally have these thoughts, I just… Sometimes I have breakdowns, like tonight, and my brain kinda says a lot of things that aren’t true.”

“That sounds kinda like Pearl, to be honest,” Peridot mused, sending Lapis a concerned glance. “Maybe you should talk to her?”

“Let’s not talk about this now,” Lapis instantly suggested, snapping her English book shut and throwing it onto the floor. “I’m just glad you came here… I didn’t think you would, since it’s late and stuff.”

“Shit, yeah, I should be going back home soon.” Peridot tugged her phone out of her jeans pocket, glancing at the time. She looked up, giving Lapis a sheepish smile. “I didn’t tell my mother I left.”

“You snuck out?” Lapis snort-laughed. “Wow, never saw you as a rebel.”

“Shut up,” she grumbled, crawling closer to Lapis so her legs were on either side of Lapis’. Raising her hand to cup Lapis’ face again, she asked, “Will you be okay when I leave?”

Lapis gave an uncertain smile. “Yeah.”

Peridot squinted at Lapis skeptically, but leant down and kissed her gently nonetheless. Her free hand rested on Lapis’ shoulder plate, two fingers twirling around her longer blue locks. As she went to pull away, Lapis hand snaked to the small of her back, pushing their bodies closer. A startled growl escaped from the back of Peridot’s throat.

Deciding to offer something _nice_ for Lapis, in the hopes to make her feel better, Peridot parted her lips as an invitation, but at that moment her phone chose to blare out an Undertale ringtone.

“Ah!” Peridot squeaked, flinching in fright at the sudden noise. A thick blush quickly spread across her cheeks as she fumbled for her phone in her pocket, awkwardly tumbling out of Lapis’ lap. Her heart leapt up her throat when she finally got a hold of her phone.

“Hey Mum,” she hesitantly answered, biting her lip at the anticipated yelling.

“Peridot! Where the hell are you!?” her mother screeched loud enough for Lapis to hear.

“I-I-I’m at L—”

“Get home right this instant! We’ll talk then.”

Peridot flinched at her mother’s harsh tone. “Y-yes, okay.”

The line died.

Peridot spun around, staring at Lapis with wide eyes. “I’m in d-deep shit.”

“Very deep shit,” Lapis unhelpfully echoed. She traced random shapes on the top of Peridot’s hand. “Would you like me to come with you?”

“No, stay. It’s still raining outside and you just got changed,” Peridot firmly suggested, then tugged at her hoodie. “Can I give this to you tomorrow?”

“Of course.” Lapis quickly leant forward and placed a brisk kiss on Peridot’s lips. “Now go home before you get in deeper shit.”

“Aye aye,” Peridot unenthusiastically replied, jumping off the bed and hesitating at Lapis’ door. “See you tomorrow.”

She bolted to the side door, quietly slipping out and making a mad dash for the roadside pathway. The rain thankfully lightened to a sprinkle, leaving Peridot’s new hoodie relatively dry. On her way home, she received two more calls from her mother, but she burst through the front door as the second ended. Shaking her damp, pointy hair, she braced herself for shouting and punishments.

“Peridot!” her mother called out, her tone dark. Peridot flinched as she lifted her head up and slinked to the living room.

Her mother was glaring at her, veins almost popping out of her forehead. “Where have you been!?”

Peridot swallowed once, twice, before she answered. “At L-Lapis’.”

“Why did you go so late at night without telling me!?” Her mother slammed her book shut, placing it on the table and turning her full attention to her daughter.

“L-Lapis really n-needed my help! I kn-knew if I a-a-asked you, you’d d-decline!” Peridot nervously argued, her fingers fretting anxiously.

“Of course I would decline! Who sends their daughter out at night!?” Daisy snapped, but shook her head and resolved to be calmer. “Why did Blue’s daughter need _you?_ ”

“You call Iris ‘Blue’?” Peridot questioned, but at her mother’s unforgiving glare, she quickly answered her query. “Because I-I’m her close friend!”

Her mother’s tone turned chilly. “You do _not_ sneak out to see your friends in the middle of the night. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re grounded.”

“W-wait!” Peridot shrieked, holding her arms out desperately. “Lapis wasn’t okay! She w-was really up-upset!”

“You still didn’t tell me,” Daisy growled, narrowing her eyes at Peridot.

“Mum, please! Lapis is… i-is my girlfriend!” she cried out, collapsing into the arm of the couch. “P-please, I needed to help her…”

“She’s your _what?_ ”

Peridot froze. With her eyes stinging, she lifted her face up from the armrest, staring at her mother wide-eyed. “M-my… p-p-partner…”

Her mother frowned. “Since when?”

“A w-week ago?”

Daisy stayed dangerously still for a few moments, unblinking as she stared back at Peridot. After an unbearable silence, she cleared her throat.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Peridot groaned. “I’m allowed to have privacy, Mum.”

Her mother stared longer. “That’s the whole truth?”

“W-well…” Peridot looked away from her mother’s intense stare, licking her dry lips nervously. “No. We’re not close like other parent-child relationships. I wasn’t ready to tell you right away. I was scared m-maybe… you’d condemn our relationsh-ship.”

“Oh, Peridot…” her mother trailed off, her stern expression fading. “Is that how you really feel?”

“Yes… I’m sorry.”

“I suppose I haven’t been a very supportive mother,” she sighed, relaxing her body against the couch. “I never thought it would be Blue’s daughter that you would fancy. I didn’t think any girl would interest you, actually. Or _anyone_.”

“Muuum,” Peridot whined, drawing out the vowel. Blushing, she took a seat on the couch at a respectable distance away from Daisy. “I didn’t so either, but… here I am. She was r-really upset and I had to be there for her.”

Her mother sighed again. “Fine. That was your only warning. Pull something like that again without telling me, and I _will_ ground you.”

Peridot gasped, her lips quickly curving into a bright smile. “Thank you Mum! I will tell you next time, I promise.”

“Good.” She flicked the mute off on the television, a news program flickering to life.

“Hey, Mum?”

“Yes?”

“I might have a date on Friday…”


	17. Date Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: mild eating disorder

Date Night

Peridot had no idea how the date would go. She barely even knew what to do during a date. She knew they were supposed to be 'cute' and romantic, and she was supposed to enjoy herself just with the company of her counterpart, but that's as far as her knowledge went. The Internet wasn't very helpful on the matter either.

Peridot wasn't sure if she should've been surprised when her mother was being rather helpful. When she walked out of her room wearing her green flannel and black jeans, Daisy immediate pushed her back into the bedroom and stuck her head in the closet.

"You need to wear something nice when you go out Peridot," she scolded as she dragged out a light green dress shirt. "Especially for a date."

Peridot nervously rubbed her arm, a small blush tinging her cheeks. "I know Mum."

Her mother looked her up and down, nodding approvingly. "Those jeans should be good to wear, just change your shirt and wear a nice jacket."

"Okay." Peridot pointed her finger to her door, raising an eyebrow expectantly at her mother. She huffed, frowning slightly, and exited Peridot's room.

Peridot whipped her flannel and undershirt off, stuffing them neatly in a small backpack. Taking the dress shirt laid out on her bed, she carefully slipped into it, then glanced at the jackets in her closet. She was socially knowledgable enough to know that wearing a hoodie would not be appropriate. Instead, she unhooked a black peacoat. It was a size or two too big, but Peridot liked it that way. Before she left, she donned her peridot stoned dragon necklace, humming happily at the way it matched her style.

She sauntered out of her bedroom, almost smacking into her mother standing at the doorway. The towering woman gazed at her daughter once again, taking in her attire.

"Yes, you're looking better, but how about you change your shoes?" she suggested.

Peridot glanced down, waggling her toes in her green canvas Vans. "I've only got these and a black pair."

"Hang on." Daisy trotted down the hallway and disappeared into her room. Peridot heard boxes shuffling and objects falling over before her mother returned with a pair of black ankle boots. They were leather with small heels and two buckle straps for accessories.

Peridot groaned. "I don't want to wear boots Mum."

"You'll look much more acceptable in them," her mother argued sternly, shoving the boots closer to Peridot.

"The place I'm going to isn't even fancy, and plus, I've got to walk to Lapis' and the restaurant!"

"Peridot." Her mother gave her one of those 'I'm your mother and you will do as I say' glares.

Peridot scrunched up her face into a scowl. "Fine, but can you drive me to Lapis' and downtown?"

"If you wear the boots, yes."

"That's what I meant!" she exclaimed, sinking to the floor and passive-aggressively shoving her shoes off her feet and replacing them with the boots. Honestly, they were a bit too big, but at least she had room to wriggle her toes. With an undignified huff, she stood back up, crossing her arms over her chest.

"That's better," her mother complimented, then strode to the lounge room. "Are we going to pick up Lapis now?"

"That would be in my best interests," Peridot grumbled, quickly re-entering her room and stuffing her green Vans into the little backpack, along with her tablet and earphones. Pocketing her phone and grabbing her backpack and wallet, she wandered to the lounge room.

"I suppose you'll want money for the dinner," her mother hummed, handing two 20 dollar bills. "Return the change."

"Will do." Peridot stuffed the notes into her wallet and shoved it into her pocket.

Daisy hummed again, briefly entering the kitchen and finding her keys on the tabletop, hooking them around her finger. "Then let's go."

Peridot nodded and followed her mother out the front door, locking and slamming it shut behind her. She scowled as even with the smallest of heels, she tripped going down the stairs. As much as she would've liked to be taller, wearing heels wasn't her preferred way to do so.

Her mother slipped through the garage side door, the sound of a motor revving heard from outside of the main door. Peridot quickly chased after her, trying her best to keep her balance. Throwing the side door close behind her, Peridot leapt into the passenger seat of the black SUV (she honestly had no idea why they needed such a big car for only two people). Her mother reversed the car down their driveway without a word, but as soon as they were on the road, she wore a charming smile.

"I still can't believe you're all grown up. It seems like only yesterday you were throwing hissy fits at the idea of making friends," she reminisced, her hazel eyes glowing with affection. Peridot didn't know such an expression existed for her mother.

Peridot squinted at her mother. "That was two years ago. I've obviously matured since then."

"So you have. First, you bring your first friend home. Now you're telling me you have a date."

"Muuum," Peridot whined, drawing out the vowel, her cheeks reddening fast.

"It's just so exciting!" Daisy exclaimed gleefully. "I always thought you'd never be interested in dating. You even told me that when you were younger. But now you're growing up."

Peridot grumbled under her breath. "Yeah, I get it. Lil' Peridot is all big now. Can you stop making fun of me?"

Her mother blinked, then turned a corner. "I'm not making fun of you, I'm _proud_ of you Peridot."

Peridot's eyes widened. "Wait, you are? I thought this was some joke to you."

"Of course it isn't," Daisy scoffed, her short golden hair tickling her jaw as she caught sight of the target street. "I know I haven't been a supportive mother. I know that I haven't earned your trust as more than a parent because I've always been busy, and turned you away when _you_ wanted to do something. I was selfish, even if I was doing it for the business. And I can't change that about myself. But I do care about you. I want you to be happy, and now you've found someone that makes you smile all the time."

"Oh, uh, th-thank you," Peridot spluttered, her entire face heating up. She turned her head towards the window as Lapis' driveway entered her peripheral vision. "That means a lot to me."

Her mother hummed as she pulled into the driveway and the car abruptly shut down. Pretending her face wasn't red, Peridot jumped out of the vehicle and wandered up to the front door, giving it a few knocks. A moment later, Iris opened the door with a hidden smile.

"Hello Peridot," she greeted, then her navy eyes flickered to the SUV, where Daisy was strolling towards them. "Daisy."

"Blue," Peridot's mother replied with a faint smile.

"I thought Krystal wanted you to stay in tonight?" Iris queried, standing up tall to meet Daisy's height.

"I made arrangements for Peridot's date."

With the attention brought to her, Peridot's face reddened further.

"I'm coming!" Lapis called from presumably her room, and Peridot breathed a sigh of relief. Her mother's business talk did not interest her the slightest.

"Ah yes, Lapis told me about you two." Iris smiled down at Peridot, whom barely reached her collarbones. "It must be a small world for both parents to be working in the same company."

"Yes," Peridot merely agreed; what else was she supposed to say? Repressing the embarrassed blush, she glanced around Iris' slim body and thankfully saw Lapis lazily walking towards the front door.

Peridot was enamoured. Lapis wore her normal skinny jeans without rips, black combat boots, white v-neck, and her signature leather jacket. Peridot swore she even noticed Lapis wearing eyeliner and mascara; she hardly ever wore make-up.

"Hey Peri," she greeted as she slipped passed her mother, wrapping one arm around Peridot's shoulders. By now, Peridot had no doubts that she was entirely bright red. "You ready? Oh, hey Daisy."

"Good evening Lapis," Peridot's mother greeted, then turned back to her car. "You two ready?"

"I thought we were walking down?" Lapis whispered to Peridot. The latter pointed to her small-heeled boots, and Lapis rolled her eyes with a teasing smile. "Ah."

"I'll see you later tonight, honey," Iris assured as she waved her daughter goodbye, stepping back inside and slowly shutting the door.

Lapis grinned at Peridot once the door closed shut, dragging her by the shoulders to Daisy's SUV. She took a seat in the back, and Peridot being the gentlewoman she was, joined her rather than sitting in the passenger seat. Lapis' arm around her shoulders slipped to her waist, her fingers playing with the hem of Peridot's jacket.

"So, where are you two lovebirds going tonight?" Daisy asked, glancing at the windscreen mirror with a small smile.

Peridot growled lowly at the suggestion, but answered nonetheless. "Smokey House."

Daisy hummed. "The grill restaurant?"

Peridot watched Lapis' house disappear, and she slightly snuggled into her counterpart's shoulder. "Yeah, I think so. Pearl booked it."

"Ah."

The vehicle fell into silence, but Peridot was content with listening to Lapis' deep breaths. It felt calming counting the seconds between each breath in and breath out. Even Lapis' fingers toying with her jacket was serene in an aspect, despite the butterflies that fluttered in her stomach because of it.

After a few minutes in silence, the vehicle swerved into a parking on the main street, the engine quietening. Peridot lifted her head off Lapis' shoulder, glancing out the window at the restaurant a short walk down the street. 'Smokey House' was glowing in pink and purple on the roof, illuminating the darkening street.

Peridot hopped out of the car, then opened the passenger door and collected her backpack. Lapis raised an inquisitive eyebrow, mocking Peridot.

"What's with the school bag?" she asked amusedly.

Peridot scowled. "It's not my school bag, it's just a bag. And it's got my stuff in it."

"And you're bringing it in the restaurant?"

"Where else would I put it, Lazuli!?" Peridot yelled. She bit her lip, but Lapis just grinned.

"Y'know I'm only teasing you, dork," Lapis murmured as she stepped closer. Peridot cautiously glanced over Lapis' shoulder, noticing her mother half-watching. She coughed and side-stepped around Lapis, sticking her head back into the car.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Mum," Peridot stated.

Daisy broke into a proud smile. "You two have fun."

"Will do." Grumbling, Peridot closed the passenger door and started trudging down the sidewalk to the restaurant, leaving Lapis stunned. The SUV rolled down the road, passing Peridot.

"Hey, are you alright?" Lapis called out as she lightly jogged after Peridot.

Peridot spun around and threw her hands up into the air. "I just don't want her to make such a big deal! Whoop-de-doo, Peridot has _feelings_!"

Lapis gently reached her arms out and grasped Peridot's forearms, lowering them to her side. "Your mum?"

"Yes! I get that she's trying to be supportive after 17 years of nothing, but it's just overbearing. She acts like it's a big deal _all the time_."

Lapis frowned slightly, but offered a supportive smile. "Peri, that's because it _is_ a big deal. And it's not because you're not an affectionate person. Relationships are a big deal to parents. My mum's been the same."

Peridot had been looking at the ground between her feet, but slowly gazed up at Lapis. "Really?"

Lapis briefly wrapped her arms around Peridot and the bag on her back. "Yes really. Now, let's go have that date."

"Agreed." Peridot glanced at the restaurant a few metres away, then began to walk to it once Lapis let go of her (but still held her hand).

The restaurant wasn't anything entirely special, in a flashy sense; it looked more like a casual cafe, with white marble tables and wooden chairs situated throughout the interior. Towards the back of the restaurant was the counter, where food and drinks were served. The wooden walls were a warm brown colour, giving off a rustic feeling, and the lights overhead glowed faint yellow and orange. The smell of smoking meat drifted through the air, lightening Peridot's senses.

Out of the corner of her eye, Peridot noticed subtle waving, and turned her head to see Pearl signalling them to their table. Peridot jolted awake and strolled towards her and Rose, sitting close together at a table in front of the windows.

"Hey guys," Peridot greeted, sinking into the seat opposite Pearl and placing her bag between her feet. Lapis sat beside her, sending a small smile towards the other pair. "How long have we kept you waiting?"

"Not long, we only arrived about eight minutes ago," Pearl admitted, then nodded to the menu in front of Peridot. "Rose and I have pretty much decided what we want, so how about you and Lapis have a look so we can order as soon as possible?"

Peridot grunted in agreement and picked up the double sided menu. She glanced at Lapis, whom was gazing at hers warily, and frowned, but nonetheless looked at her own menu. A lot of the meals involved smoked or grilled meats, from burgers to platters, even offering a selection of pizzas.

After a minute, Peridot decided on grilled pork belly with a side of wedges, whilst Lapis simply ordered a bowl of chips.

"Lapis, you can't just order chips!" Peridot accused, frowning disappointedly.

"Why not?" Lapis deadpanned.

"This is supposed to be a _date_ , and we're at a nice place with other food choices!"

Lapis shrugged. "Nothin' else interested me."

Peridot huffed but gave up. She knew herself and Lapis were both stubborn. And Pearl. In fact, the only person who didn't seem stubborn was Rose, whom was happily humming along with the song playing faintly in the background.

The waitress came shortly after, a bored looking dark skinned girl, taking down Pearl's order of smoked salmon with a side of salad, Rose's order of grilled steak with chips, and Peridot's and Lapis' order. Peridot recognised the girl from school after she left, one of the popular girls that wasn't a stereotypical asshat - Jenny.

With the waitress gone, Peridot finally took in the other couple's attire. She was stunned that Pearl was wearing a dress for the first time since she met her; a knee-length sky blue one without sleeves. Her neck was wrapped in a silver chain, a single pearl on the end of it. And much like Lapis and Rose, Peridot noticed she too was also wearing make-up. Peridot knew Pearl hated make-up, so it was a bigger surprise than Lapis wearing it.

Rose wore a white dress that flowed to her ankles, and was also sleeveless. It had very faint pastel pink patterns on it, from animal stripes to tribal markings. Peridot had never seen a piece of clothing like it before. Nonetheless, it matched Rose very well, especially with her gravity-defying curly pink hair.

"So, why'd you choose this place to eat, Pearl?" Peridot asked, diverting her attention away from Rose's elegance.

"Oh, I'm glad you asked!" she exclaimed, her lips curling into a proud - or cocky - smile. "Amethyst's elder sibling works here, and by coincidence, their name is Smokey. They used to work at that tavern in the city we went to weeks ago, but now they're here! Who knows, maybe they'll be here tonight."

Peridot raised an eyebrow. "So you came here _just_ for Amethyst's sibling?"

"N-no, of course not!" Pearl spluttered. "It was an interesting story to share, but I've heard the food here is great."

"Sure."

Pearl playfully glared at Peridot. "Hush."

"To be honest, I'm surprised that being Amethyst's sibling, their name isn't another type of rock," Peridot mused.

Pearl made a squeaking noise. "Well, ah, you see, Smokey's middle name is Quartz."

Peridot facepalmed. "Of course, why not."

"So, this Smokey isn't a dude or chick?" Lapis pondered, sending Pearl an uneasy glance.

"They're female, but they identify as non-binary," she affirmed, glancing at the waiter bringing their drinks. "And here they are!"

A short, chubby woman with mocha skin wondered to the table, carrying a tray with four drinks on it. They were grinning at Pearl.

"I was called for?" they asked, spinning on their heel and bowing after placing the drinks down, pretending to show off. "Yes, the not-so-amazing Smokey Quartz is at your service, lovebirds."

"Good evening Smokey," Pearl greeted, propping her elbows on the table and leaning into the back of her hands. She nodded to her side. "This is Rose, and that's Peridot and Lapis."

"It's nice to meet you," Smokey greeted with a mock salute. "Amethyst told me all about your double date. I reckon she jelly."

"Jealous of whom?" Peridot asked, frowning slightly in thought as she took a slip of her drink.

Smokey shrugged. "Dunno. Jelly that you guys are dating in general, I s'pose. Reckon she's got her eyes on Garnet though."

Lapis snorted, and all eyes turned on her. "What? C'mon, can you see those two hooking up?"

"Probably not," Pearl hummed, glancing at the table between her elbows.

Smokey shook their head. "Anyway, this ain't about my sister, this is about you four. Boss-man is probably gonna shout at me soon, but what are you guys doing after your dinner date?"

"Well, I think it would be a great idea to get some desert at the Big Donut and sit on the hill next to it," Rose chirped, speaking up after staying quiet for so long. "What do you think?"

Lapis shrugged, but Pearl and Peridot seemed rather excited by the idea.

"Yeah, that sounds great!" Peridot chimed in, glancing outside at the colours draining away to navy in the sky. "It's a pretty night out."

"That does sound like a good idea," Pearl agreed, dropping a hand under the table and gently holding Rose's.

"Oh!" Peridot patted the bag between her knees. "Then Lapis and I will be at hers, probably playing games."

"Sounds like a sweet night you guys have planned," Smokey observed with a cheeky grin. "Well, I better go now, but you four have a fun time tonight!"

All four bade farewell, though Lapis was very quiet in saying 'see you'. The group broke into small chit-chat, Pearl mostly stressing over school work and exam preparation, whilst Peridot insisted on keeping quiet about school. After about ten minutes of this small talk, the original waitress Jenny returned with their food, placing the plates carefully in front of everyone. She wore a devious smile as she did so.

"Smokey told me you guys are on a date! Congrats and have a fabulous night," she stated cheerfully, her white teeth shining brightly and almost blinding Peridot.

"Oh, uh, thank you!" Pearl stuttered, a shy (or stressed) smile curving her lips.

"You're welcome!" And with that, Jenny trailed off back to the kitchen.

"Isn't she from school?" Pearl muttered, biting her lip anxiously.

Peridot nodded. "Yeah, I think her family owns this place. Used to be just a pizza shop, but I'm not sure what happened after that."

"Well, I hope she doesn't tell anyone about _this_ ," Pearl mumbled even quieter, gazing down at her food. "I would've rather Smokey kept quiet."

"I'm sure she won't gossip, none of us are exactly a big deal," Peridot assured with a faint chuckle.

Pearl made a negative sound and cut a slice off her fish fillet, cautiously bringing it to her mouth. Peridot did the same with her pork belly and groaned out loud. Lapis broke out snorting next to her, elbowing her in the side with wiggling eyebrows.

"That pork's pretty good, I'm guessing," she teased, her lips curving devilishly.

Peridot blushed. "Shut up! Or I'll stuff this in your mouth." She took another bite of her dish. "Seriously, would you like to try this? It's amazing!"

Lapis pried a chip out of her bowl. "Nah, I'm good."

"You sure?"

Lapis hesitated, but stuffed the chip into her mouth. "Yeah."

Peridot shrugged to herself and wolfed down her meal. The rest of the dinner went in relative silence, save for the few hums of happiness at the well cooked food. Peridot was surprised when Lapis ate all of her chips, and gave a proud cheer from inside her head. After weeks of observing, she came to the realisation that Lapis didn't eat often. Why, she did not know. But now, she was excited that Lapis had finished her food.

After they paid for their food, Peridot dropped her bag on her shoulders and took Lapis' hand, guiding them out of the restaurant with Pearl and Rose behind them.

"So, you were saying that we should go to the Big Donut?" Peridot asked once they were all walking down the main street to the beach side of the town, where said shop was located.

"They make some of the best donuts I have ever had!" Rose gushed, a stupid grin curving her lips.

"I can forward that," Lapis agreed, letting go of Peridot's hand and instead wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her close. Peridot made a startled squeak, and she heard Pearl and Rose stifling giggles.

The four made their way to the Big Donut in comfortable silence, Peridot cradled into Lapis' side. After a few minutes, they found themselves outside the expected shop, knowing it was about to close soon. They made their way in, Rose excitedly taking the lead and pointing at as many donuts as she could see.

Peridot insisted on buying one donut for Lapis, and after a minute of stubborn arguing, the blue-haired girl finally cracked and let Peridot treat her. The blonde gave a small victory cheer and bought herself three donuts and one for Lapis, whilst she swore Rose bought the entire shop.

They began wandering out of the shop very slowly, due to Rose being caught up in a chat with the one worker there, another short blonde-haired girl. Peridot guessed her name was Sadie from the name Pearl kept muttering over and over.

After they finally managed to drag a chatty Rose out of the Big Donut, the group made their way to the hill beside the shop that overlooked the beach. It was a bit of a climb for Peridot, being unfit, carrying a moderately heavy backpack, and wearing heels. Lapis at least offered to carry the donuts, not that it made much of a difference.

When they made it to the top, Peridot unceremoniously sunk into the grass, lying on her back and gazing up at the sparkling stars in the deep blue sky.

"It's gorgeous, isn't it?" Pearl breathed as she sat at a respectable distance beside Peridot. Lapis took her other side, sitting cross-legged as she trailed her finger across Peridot's stomach.

Peridot glared half-heartedly at Lapis, both of them knowing that the touch could startle Peridot's ticklish spots. Lapis merely coyly smiled in return, but made no sudden moves.

"Yeah, it is beautiful," Peridot answered, gazing back up at the sky. Unlike Pearl, whilst she was heavily interested in space, she didn't know the constellations. What Peridot loved about space was how vast it was, and more importantly, the scientific side of it. Knowing the life cycles of stars interested her more than the placement of them.

Peridot made grabby hands at Lapis, signalling for the donuts. Lapis took one out of the bag and held it above Peridot's face, lowering to her mouth slowly. Peridot pursed her lips, scowling at Lapis' attempts to feed her.

"I can feed my—"

Lapis took the opportunity to shove the donut into her mouth whilst she was talking, earning a spluttering Peridot glaring at her sourly. Lapis broke out into ridiculous snort laughter, along with Pearl and Rose giggling.

"Lapis, don't be an ass!" Peridot snapped, taking the donut out of her mouth as she sat up. She turned around, gazing at Pearl and Rose. Rose was gently placing a donut into Pearl's mouth, the latter raising an eyebrow cockily at Peridot.

"That's how you do it," she teased after she swallowed her bite. Peridot seethed and fake slapped Pearl's shoulder, earning more giggles from her.

After the laughter died down, Peridot calmed. "Thank you for the date suggestion, Rose. I didn't imagine I would enjoy it as much as I am."

"You're welcome," Rose replied, bowing mockingly. Peridot frowned but didn't comment.

The blonde laid back down, accompanied by Lapis. She snuggled into the blue-haired girl, shivering slightly as a cool breeze passed over them. The pair stayed like that in silence until Peridot yawned and rubbed at her eyes.

"This has been great, but I think we should be heading back now," Peridot announced as she sat up, glancing at Pearl and Rose. Pearl was leaning against Rose's shoulder, her head snuggled into the crook of her neck and enveloped by the taller girl's wild pink curls. Rose had her arm wrapped around Pearl's midsection. She sent a small smile to Peridot, whilst Pearl merely hummed.

"We'll stay here for a little while," Rose declared, resting her gaze back to the top of Pearl's head.

Peridot smiled sweetly. "Okay."

After she quickly changed her into her Vans, she stood up, stretching her limbs, and offered a hand to Lapis. "You ready to go?"

Lapis gratefully took the extended hand and gave a small smile. "Yeah."

"We'll see you guys at school on Monday," Peridot stated to Pearl and Rose.

"Alright, goodbye," Pearl mumbled from under Rose's jaw.

Peridot snorted amusedly, but began trudging down the hill, holding onto Lapis' hand. With her other hand, she reached for the donut bag, noticing Lapis' untouched one in there.

"Hey, you're not going to eat the donut?" Peridot asked concernedly, frowning slightly.

Lapis fidgeted, but didn't release Peridot's hand. "Maybe later."

Peridot bit her lip. "Lapis, what's wrong? I've noticed that you don't each much."

"Nothing's wrong."

"I don't believe that."

Lapis sighed. "Look, it's just a habit. Don't worry about me."

"I'm supposed to worry about you!" Peridot argued, and Lapis sighed again.

"Yeah, I s'pose you are. It's just an eating habit, okay? Back at my old school, I had some self-esteem issues, I think. Back then, it was a problem. It's not a problem anymore, it's just kinda ingrained."

Peridot's frown deepened. "You're not talking about an eating disorder, are you?"

Lapis sent Peridot a pleading look. "I'm getting better, okay? Can we please not talk about this?"

"Okay," the blonde breathed after a moment of hesitation. "I trust that you're getting better."

"Thank you."

Peridot squirmed awkwardly, but cuddled closer to Lapis as they finally descended the hill. She really hoped Lapis was trying to get better. She didn't know much about eating disorders, or 'a habit' as Lapis insisted, but she knew they could be nasty.

As they made their way to Lapis' house for the night, Peridot tried to think of the night ahead they would have, spending hours of it playing co-op and multiplayer games. The thought brought a smile to her face. She knew Lapis would be okay once they started playing games.


	18. Full Circle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: moderate alcohol consumption. and an overbearing amount of smooches

Full Circle

Pearl was conflicted.

She had been preparing all week, since the date night. Every second she had free, she spent preparing for one thing or another. Either that, or stressing about preparation.

But now, there was little time left for that. She glanced at her phone briefly, feeling her body heat with stress at what time she had. Hurriedly, but not in a disorganised fashion, she stuffed her bag with all of the essentials. From clean clothes to (non-alcoholic) drinks, her bag was filled up very fast. Even lifting the damn thing to her shoulders seemed like a mission in itself.

She wiped her damp forehead, and was glad she only had to carry around the weight for a few hours. If it wasn’t for her afternoon plans, she wouldn’t have to carry it at all. But she wanted to do something special.

Rose deserved something special for her 18th birthday.

But, like said, Pearl was conflicted. She was devoted to Rose unlike anyone else, and she already made plans with her partner, but being an organised and easily stressed student, school had a way of creeping back into her mind. She wasn’t going to give up this day to study, but her mind wouldn’t shut up about it.

They were two months into the school year and tests were coming left, right and centre. And then, of course, there was the looming threat of exams that would come early in the next term. Pearl would have two entirely free weeks to study and prepare for them in a few weeks, but school still did not fade away from her mind.

She knew, despite her plans for the day, school would always be at the back of her mind. And that peeved her. A lot.

Making an attempt to literally dislodge the thoughts of study away, Pearl shook her head rather aggressively. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a few deep, calming breaths. Abruptly opening her eyes, she stuck her hands into the closet to fumble for the last thing to pack before she was ready to leave. Her hands grazed against soft leather, sending small shivers running up her arms.

She gazed upon the infamous jacket. Another thing Pearl was conflicted about. She was by far no actor, but it was relatively amusing acting like a rebellious person. It completely conflicted her _real_ personality, and that’s what had her stumped. In a way, it was _almost_ uncomfortable being someone she wasn’t. But being this… ‘Bad Pearl’ gave her a surge of confidence, and she knew Rose loved it.

It would be the cherry on top for Rose’s birthday. So Pearl neatly folded the leather jacket and squeezed it into the bag as the final item.

With a somewhat pleased hum, Pearl hoisted the bag onto her shoulders and made her way out of her room, twirling a little for extra effect (to an audience of no one).

Her parents were home, unsurprisingly. Her mother was currently vacuuming the tile floors, the machine whirring rather loudly, whilst her father was sitting in front of the television, drinking a mug of (probably) coffee. Frowning slightly at the disruptive noises, Pearl reasoned that it would be easier to talk to her father.

“Hey Dad,” she briskly greeted, giving a half-hearted gesture that resembled a wave. She stood in front of her father, blocking off the TV slightly. “I’m off to Rose’s now, and I won’t be back until tomorrow. So I’ll see you later.”

“Wait,” her father interrupted before she could walk off. He gazed up at his daughter, adjusting his glasses slightly. “You’ve never introduced us to this ‘Rose’ before, and she’s never been here. What’s going on?”

Pearl frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Well, are you sneaking out to see boys? Or other stuff? Because this ‘Rose’ seems like an excuse.”

“Are you seriously accusing me of lying behind your back?” Pearl snapped, shocked that her parents would think that. But really, she couldn’t blame them; they barely knew of Rose’s existence. Groaning, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and opened her photo album. Blushing slightly at the intimate photos, she swiped to a more appropriate, friendly selfie of her and Rose poking their tongues out.

She stuck the phone into her father’s face. “ _This_ is Rose and I.”

Her father hummed in thought, rubbing his chin slightly. He gazed up at Pearl, whom was impatiently staring at him.

“If Rose isn’t an excuse to sneak out and do stuff, which we’d be totally okay with, then why haven’t we seen her before?” he asked, frowning ever-so-slightly.

“No reason,” Pearl hastily replied, turning away from her father and readying to leave the house.

“You know you can trust us, right? We’re you’re parents.”

Another thing to be conflicted about. Pearl had enough of those for the day.

She sighed. “I’ve got to go now, Dad. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She reached the front door, and after opening it, she quickly waved at her mother. “See you later Mum.”

If she received any more replies from her parents, she didn’t hear them as she closed the door behind her. After breathing in deeply through her nose, she set off for Rose’s home.

Pearl had left enough time in the morning for Rose to spend some family time with her father. She might’ve even had other relatives over, but Pearl doubted it. Rose seemed to be more of the person that spent their birthday with all of their friends rather than their family. Still, Pearl was respectful enough to give her some father-daughter bonding time.

Surprisingly, despite the summer clearly coming to an end weeks ago, the weather was fair today. For the past week there had been showers here and there, ranging from light sprinkles to heavier rain. But it seemed like today might’ve been harbouring better weather. Perfect timing.

After ten minutes of strolling stressfully in anticipation, Pearl made her way down Rose’s driveway and knocked on the front door. It was only a few seconds before the door flew open.

“Pearl!” Rose exclaimed giddily, her pink locks bouncing on her shoulders.

Pearl leapt up and threw her arms around her partner’s neck, giggling excitedly and tangling her fingers into the gravity-defying mane of pink. She briefly pressed a kiss on the corner of Rose’s lips. “Happy 18th!”

Rose squealed with the same amount of excitement, tightly wrapping her arms around Pearl’s midsection as she spun them in a circle. “I’m so… excited! I never expected to be 18!”

Pearl pulled gently away from the embrace, giving Rose a funny look. “Well _of course_ you were going to be 18 one day.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Rose replied, laughing slightly at Pearl’s practicality. “I just, I’ve never imagined this day coming because it just seemed so out of reach!”

“Ah. Well, it’s here now!”

Rose grinned her beautiful smile. “It is! Come in, I’m going to say goodbye to Dad before we leave.”

Pearl hummed and stepped after Rose as she sauntered up to her father, whom was sitting in the lounge room with wrappings strewn around him. She eyed the vanilla and strawberry cake half eaten on the kitchen counter and smiled to herself. If Rose could wolf down half a cake in the morning, surely another cake wouldn’t hurt.

As Rose talked with her father, Pearl slipped into the kitchen and quickly pulled a container out of her bag. It had a small yet delicately decorated cake in it, and a sticky note on it just in case Sal found it - ‘Cake from Pearl’. She stuffed it into the fridge and glanced over her shoulder, relieved that Rose hadn’t seen.

The couple made their way to town a few minutes later, Rose chirping happily whilst Pearl enjoyed her company.

“So what did you get for your birthday?” Pearl asked, curious to the wrappings she saw in the lounge room.

“Dad’s putting some funds for college and a car in the bank for me, but he also bought me a few books and TV series. Oh, and a new blanket! It’s got super cute cat designs on it,” Rose answered, a silly grin curving her lips. Pearl couldn’t help but grin with her.

“Well, you’ve got more presents coming from me,” Pearl announced proudly, puffing out her chest slightly. “Oh, and probably some from our friends too.”

“Oh really?” Rose raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have to spoil me, Pearl. You just being here is enough.”

“Nonsense! First thing on the birthday list is whatever you want from town, I’ll buy for you.” Pearl started counting on her fingers. “You want food? I’ll pay. Drinks? I’ll pay. Cute stuffed animals, or something rather? I’ll pay, and so on.”

Rose giggled. “Pearl, you don’t have to do this.”

“But I want to do this!” Pearl exclaimed, deflating the slightest at her partner’s suggestion.

Rose gave a warm smile and shook her head slightly in amusement. “If you insist.”

Pearl smiled smugly at having ‘won out’, walking with a happy bounce in her step.

The first place they visited was a funky gift shop, stocked full of statues of mythological beasts and crystals of all types. The place smelt of incense, the air slightly smokey from it. The lady at the counter was enthusiastic to greet them, waving her arms covered in bracelets excitedly, her lips curving into a delighted smile and showing off her lip piercings. Pearl found a small whale statue carved from rose quartz and was determined to buy it for her partner. She thought it would complement her bedroom nicely.

After leaving the gift shop, the couple wandered around town, peeking their heads into a book shop or other souvenir shops here and there. Pearl turned her nose up at the surf shops, finding them only useful for sturdy shoes, whilst Rose merely giggled at her attitude. 

After a while, the two found themselves in an independent clothes store, browsing the racks of nice shirts and jackets. Rose found a cute white floral shirt, and despite saying she didn’t need it, Pearl still bought it for her anyways.

An hour after they left Rose’s place, the pair arrived at the same cafe from two weeks ago for a late lunch. Pearl paid for everything, ignoring the fact her money was running low, and the pair took a seat on the ledge outside in the sun.

As Pearl was taking a sip of her orange juice, Rose spoke up.

“So what else do you have planned for this afternoon?” she asked, taking a nibble of her pie.

Pearl hummed, wondering how much she should divulge. “Well, I was hoping we could take a walk through the forest to the lighthouse hill.”

Rose perked up, a giant smile overtaking her. “That would be cool! I’ve always wondered what the view would be like from that hill. We’re always looking up at it from the beach house.”

Pearl made a pleased noise as she took another sip of her orange juice, then stuffed it into her bag.

Rose raised an eyebrow at the bag. “So why are you carrying that around?”

“It has some things in it that I want to take with me,” Pearl vaguely answered, shrugging the bag back onto her shoulders. Rose’s eyebrow only arched higher. Pearl sighed and jumped off the ledge after taking the final bite of her caramel slice. “Let’s go for that walk now, unless you want to do anything else in town.”

“Alright,” Rose agreed, jumping down too.

Whilst they lumbered to their starting destination of the walk through the forest, Pearl chatted about how excited she was for the evening, trying to distract her mind from school. Rose happily listened as she finished her pie.

The two made it to the entrance of the forest pathway, the giant trees looming over them and casting shadows across their skin. Pearl felt the dull ache around her neck and in her shoulders, but chose to ignore it, knowing it would be all worthwhile in the end. She leant against Rose’s arm slightly, thankful now that they had some peace and quiet. 

Rose marvelled at the flowers blooming in the forest with the recent rainy weather, cupping some of them with her giant hands. Gleefully, she tucked a few of them into Pearl’s hair, grinning at her mixed expression of annoyance and sheepishness. Pearl didn’t really appreciate having plant matter in her hair, but Rose seemed to happy with her small achievement that she let it be. In turn, Pearl picked out a few purple flowers and stuck them into the top of Rose’s hair, as to not lose them in the longer curls.

At one point, a rabbit bounded across the pathway, disappearing into the denser woodlands. Rose sounded a noise between a gasp and an ‘awww’, whilst Pearl simply smiled. As they reached towards the end of their walk, Pearl pulled out her phone, taking a few photos of the scenery before turning the phone on her and Rose. She gave the phone to Rose, being the taller one, and leant against her shoulder for a few silly selfies, somewhat admiring the flowers in their hair. For the final one, Pearl reached up and placed a kiss on Rose’s cheek, grinning at the surprise on Rose’s face in the selfie.

The two were giggling by the time they exited the forest and made their way up the hill to the lighthouse. By now, Pearl was inwardly annoyed at the heaviness in her bag, but shrugged to herself and continued up the hill.

When they reached the top, some distance away from the towering lighthouse, Pearl sunk to the ground, the overgrowing grass brushing against her bare shins. She dropped her bag off her shoulders and dug into it, eventually pulling out a rolled up rug. She threw it over the grass, making sure it was flat and straight, being the perfectionist she was (with probably an amount of OCD).

She patted beside her once she situated herself on the rug, urging Rose to sit down with her.

“Is this a picnic?” Rose asked once she plonked down, staring at Pearl fiddling with her bag more.

“Sort of,” Pearl replied, pulling out a small container with four cupcakes in it and placing it in front of her and Rose. “Originally, I wanted to do this in the evening for the sunset, as I thought it would be a beautiful view from up here, but since we’re busy tonight…”

Rose hummed happily, pressing a quick kiss to Pearl’s cheek. “Thank you for this. What are those?”

Pearl glanced at the container Rose was pointing at, opening it and prying a cupcake from it. “I made a few cupcakes. They’re dark chocolate with cookies ’n’ cream icing. Would you like one?”

“Oh my god, yes please.”

Pearl unwrapped the cupcake in her hand, gently pushing it into Rose’s agape mouth, smiling at the pleased hum elicited when she bit into it.

“These are so good!” Rose blurted out through half a mouthful, her eyes wide with pleasure.

“I do make some good cupcakes, don’t I?” Pearl replied, satisfied with herself.

Rose groaned happily once she wolfed down the rest of the cupcake. “This is already an awesome birthday.”

“Is it?” Pearl glanced at the sun above them ever-so-slightly descending towards the ocean. In a few hours, it would be on the horizon. When she heard a light thud next to her, she gazed at Rose lying on her back, her voluminous pink hair cushioning her head.

“One of the best, and I don’t doubt it’ll get better,” Rose breathed.

Pearl brought her orange juice and two water bottles out of her bag, taking a quick sip of the juice before gazing at her partner again. Her breath hitched. _She’s gorgeous._

Unable to restrain herself (not that she wanted to), she placed the juice down and crawled on top of Rose, straddling her hips.

“I’m sure it will get better,” she murmured, her face heating up quickly at her forwardness. 

Rose arched an eyebrow teasingly. “Oh? How so?”

Pearl hummed and lowered herself, placing soft kisses on Rose’s exposed shoulder, before trailing up her neck. She grinned as Rose sucked in a sharp breath, biting gently as to not actually hurt her. Kissing along her jaw, Pearl finally reached Rose’s lips, hovering above them.

“You haven’t received your complementary birthday kisses yet,” she mumbled, smiling to herself. “So I guess that’s one thing to look forward to.”

“Hmm, I suppose it is,” Rose breathed, before Pearl pressed her lips against hers.

* * *

By the evening, Pearl and Rose had staggered back to the latter’s house. Soon, more company would arrive, and the pair had to be there to greet them. Once Pearl followed Rose back inside the house, Rose’s father sent her a knowing smile. Pearl guessed he found her cake in the fridge.

She dropped her bag on the floor, leaning it against the kitchen counter, and plonked onto a stool. She sighed into her palms, already becoming tired despite it only being the evening. Rose disappeared into her room a moment later, and Pearl watched her door, waiting for her to come out. When Rose strolled out of her room wearing her new floral shirt, Pearl grinned into her palm, her eyes alight with awe.

_It looks great on her._

A minute later, heavy knocking on the front door spurred Pearl.

Rose answered the door with a big grin, giving brief greetings to Garnet as she waltzed in, hands on hips and a small smile playing on her lips. Pearl offered a smile, waving slightly at the new guest.

Garnet leant against the counter next to Pearl, briefly acknowledging Sal before directing her gaze at Pearl. “Have you two had fun?”

Pearl hummed an affirmative in response, leaning back into the palm of her hand. Garnet raised an eyebrow, visible because she wasn’t wearing her infamous shades.

“I expected you to start gushing,” Garnet admitted, gazing up at Rose waiting by the door. “Did something happen?”

“No,” Pearl replied, still leaning into her hand, “just a little tired.”

Garnet grunted. “I wouldn’t be falling asleep so early. I have a feeling we’re going to have a late night.”

“Why do you say that?”

“It’s an 18th birthday party, and Amethyst is invited.”

Pearl groaned slightly. “Fair enough.”

Garnet offered a sympathetic smile. “Hang in there, I’m sure it’ll be a fun night. Especially for you and Rose.”

“I’m not going to ask what you mean by that,” Pearl declared, sitting up straighter and gazing away from Garnet.

Garnet snorted. “I’m not Amethyst; that wasn’t an innuendo. I legitimately meant it. You’ve been stressed all week, and it’s a monumental birthday for Rose. So put two and two together, and you’re going to have fun and relax tonight.”

Pearl sighed. “I suppose I have been stressed about school lately, and trying to make this the perfect birthday.”

“You’re doing fine.” Garnet picked a stray flower out of Pearl’s hair, twirling it between her thumb and index finger. “Except you missed a flower.”

“Gah, Rose told me I got them all!”

“Aww, Garnet!” Rose half-heartedly cried out, pouting. “Pearl looked cute with that flower.”

Without a word, Garnet swiftly plucked the flower back into Pearl’s hair. Now she had two people pouting at her, and she couldn’t resist chuckling slightly.

There was rattling on the front door again, and Rose leapt over to it. Swinging it open, she wore her big grin once again.

“Peridot! Lapis! It’s great you two could make it!” she announced, ushering the pair in. 

Peridot fidgeted with her obnoxious green checkered hoodie, then pulled something out of her pocket. 

“Here, Pearl said you like music,” she stated, handing the small card to Rose, whom was looming over her.

“It’s an iTunes card,” Lapis added in, shoving her hands into her leather jacket pockets.

“Personally, I think it’s the best gift you can give someone! You don’t want to buy music? Okay, cool, buy movies, or shows, or games instead!”

Lapis snorted and muttered, “Dork.”

“Nerd.”

Rose smiled amusedly. “Thank you both. Please, take a seat. When Amethyst arrives, we’ll leave for the beach house.”

Peridot grumbled something to Lapis, but nobody seemed to hear it. They sat on the stools next to Pearl, Lapis briefly greeting her and Garnet, whilst Peridot started talking to Pearl.

It was about 20 minutes later, when Peridot and Lapis were in a playful argument about _Camp Pining Hearts_ , and Garnet was chatting with Rose, that Amethyst finally decided to show up. As soon as the first knock was heard, Rose lurched to her feet and whipped the door open, letting out an excited noise.

“I was starting to think you’d never come!” Rose exclaimed, picking her smaller friend up for a quick hug.

Once Amethyst dropped back to the floor, she sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m not _that_ lazy.” Then she crossed her arms smugly. “Well, following tradition with every other country that isn’t ‘murica, I decided I’d bring along some vodka for your 18th. You still have your beer in the beach house fridge, right?”

“I do,” Rose answered, her grin growing devilish.

“Well, we’re gonna get drunk tonight.”

“Is that so?”

Amethyst smiled coyly. “It’s my birthday gift for you. Alcohol costs a lot, damn.”

“Thank you Amethyst.” Rose faced to the rest of the group, clearing her throat slightly. “I guess it’s time for us to head to the beach house!”

There was a collective faint cheer (or murmur), and everyone leapt to their feet. Pearl grabbed her bag on the floor, shrugging it onto her shoulders one last time, and sauntered to the fridge. She pulled out the container and balanced it in her arms, walking towards the front door. Everyone else was outside except for Rose, whom was saying goodbye and thank you to her father. Pearl waited at the doorway for her as she grabbed her new cream-coloured cat blanket on the way out.

Rose glanced at the cake in the container. “I didn’t know you baked a cake!”

“I left it in the fridge while we were gone,” Pearl answered, strolling with the others towards the beach house.

“Oooh, is that a cake for us!?” Amethyst bellowed, sticking her face against the container. Pearl gently pushed her away.

“Not now Amethyst, we’ll eat it once we’ve had dinner.”

Amethyst whined and made a pouty face, but left it at that. When they arrived at the somewhat familiar beach house, Pearl, Amethyst and Lapis wandered to the kitchen. Pearl placed the container with the cake in it on the bench, then turned around to put her drinks in. She frowned at the vodka cruisers Amethyst and Lapis were stuffing in there, despite there being a slightly less amount than the last time they were there. Pearl had a feeling they wouldn’t stop at one drink tonight, though.

After Lapis slinked back to Peridot’s side, Amethyst caught Pearl staring and raised an eyebrow. “Do you want a drink P?”

Pearl frowned more. “Not yet.”

“Are you saying you’ll drink tonight?” Amethyst asked, excitement manifesting on her face.

Pearl rolled her eyes, but gave a weak smile. “Perhaps.”

Amethyst’s eyes lit up and she brought Pearl in for a short one-armed hug, afterwards giving her a friendly shove. “You go P!”

“Heh, yeah,” Pearl absentmindedly responded, rubbing her arm slightly as she dropped her bag on the counter. “We won’t be playing any party games tonight, right?”

“Pearl, are you even listening to yourself?” Amethyst scoffed, shutting the fridge as she cracked open her vodka. “This is Rose’s _18th party_. Of course we’re going to play games!”

Pearl groaned. “If we have to, can it at least be something different?”

“You’re probably thinking of whack the piñata or something,” Amethyst snorted, grinning at her own joke. “But yeah, I was honestly thinking of playing drunk twister. I’ve never tried it, but it looks hella fun.”

“Oh how fun,” Pearl sarcastically replied.

“As if you know what fun is,” Amethyst retorted, lightly punching Pearl’s shoulder playfully before stalking to the lounge room.

Pearl rolled her eyes again, but still donned that amused smile.

After a few minutes of discussion, the group decided on ordering pizza again. After that decision, Rose disappeared into one of the rooms in the hallway, returning a moment later with a portable stereo. She plugged her phone in and scrolled through her music, settling on casual pop music.

Pearl once again was seated in Rose’s lap, due to the lack of seats, but this time it seemed everyone else was as cuddly as her and Rose were. Peridot had grown more confident with affection, and of course she had started dating Lapis, so those two were snuggled into each other. Lapis had one of Amethyst’s vodkas, and was playfully trying to tip some into Peridot’s mouth, whilst the latter kept shoving her away (but then instantly curling back into her side).

Amethyst was unceremoniously lounging over Garnet’s lap, her legs kicked up on the arms of the sofa. Garnet seemed somewhat comfortable with this arrangement, absentmindedly dragging her fingers through Amethyst’s lilac hair, now growing to almost touch her shoulders.

“So you amateurs are gettin’ drunk tonight, for Rose’s benefit,” Amethyst announced, pointing at Pearl, then Peridot, and up at Garnet. She pointed back to Pearl. “Especially you, P.”

“Especially me?” Pearl arched an eyebrow skeptically.

“Well yeah, you’re Rose’s girlfriend,” Amethyst retorted with a shrug. 

“Amethyst,” Garnet warned, pausing her hand in her hair. “Don’t force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do.”

Amethyst groaned slightly. “Yeah, okay.”

“I never said I didn’t want to get drunk,” Pearl chimed in, arrogantly smiling at Amethyst. “But it is highly preferred if I do stay sober. I have no idea what sort of intoxicated person I’d be.”

Amethyst crawled over Garnet’s lap and stuck her head over the coffee table, getting close to Pearl. She had stars in her eyes. “We totally have to find out what sort of drunk you are!” She turned her bright gaze onto Peridot, whom was frowning from the second drinking was mentioned. “You too! I bet Garnet will actually talk more when she’s drunk, but you two are a mystery!”

“I’m not sure getting drunk is wise,” Peridot informed, glancing at Lapis taking a sip of her vodka. “Especially underage.”

Amethyst rolled her eyes. “Peri, if we were in Canada or something, Rose would be of legal age. Let’s just pretend we’re Canadians for a night.”

“Right,” the blonde drawled, sinking into both palms of her hands. “It’s more likely if you were a European or Australian that you’d get drunk on your 18th.”

“Nerd,” Amethyst scoffed, then took a swig of her drink. “Whatever! Let’s stop arguing about this and actually have fun.”

“Well, Rose? What would you like to do first?” Pearl asked, swivelling in her partner’s lap slightly.

Rose hummed in thought for a few moments before unhelpfully shrugging. “Why don’t we wait for the pizza to arrive first before we make any plans?”

Everyone agreed on that, and so small chatter about irrelevant things popped up until there was a knock at the door. Pearl raised herself from Rose’s lap and answered the door, paying for the pizza and stacking the three boxes on her thin arms. The second she settled the boxes on the table, Amethyst dug into the top one and ripped out a slice.

Pearl scolded Amethyst, but she merely shrugged, shoving the slice into her mouth. Once the three boxes were placed evenly on the coffee table, Pearl finally took a slice for herself, going for the infamously ‘boring’ Hawaiian.

Peridot was quietly urging Lapis to eat a whole slice, and was ecstatic when the blue-haired girl easily obliged. In return, Lapis playfully tried to shove Peridot’s slice into her face, getting little bits of cheese and toppings on her jaw, which made the blonde seethe. Lapis merely kissed the food off her face, then met her lips, making Amethyst burst out laughing at the bright blush rising to the smaller girl’s cheeks.

Pearl was just glad everyone was so cheery and content. Peridot and Lapis were comfortable being themselves, Amethyst wasn’t poking fun too much and was enjoying herself, Garnet had her shades off and being more talkative than usual, and Rose was celebrating her birthday with all her friends. And… and she was going to have a fun time.

Once everyone had a slice of pizza, Pearl made her way back to the kitchen, searching through the drawers for a sharp knife and matches. She brought the cake down to the table with a handful of paper plates, stacking one of the pizza boxes on another to make room. Everyone marvelled at the treat in front of them; much like the cupcakes (which were left over batter from the cake), it was dark chocolate and coated with cookies ’n’ cream icing. There were two layers of jam inside of the cake, and on the outside, there were small icing flowers and halves of strawberries.

“Pearl, I want to say you’ve outdone yourself, but this actually looks like heaven,” Lapis breathed, tearing her gaze away from the cake to glance up at Pearl.

Pearl felt her cheeks heat with pride, and she sheepishly rubbed her neck. “I do try.”

She turned to give the knife to Rose, whom was staring between the cake and Pearl with awe. Instead of taking the knife, Rose leant forward and placed a kiss on Pearl’s lips.

“Knife! KNIFE!” Pearl warned, her cheeks heating furiously at the unexpected display of affection.

“Oh right, sorry,” Rose replied bashfully, taking the handle of the knife. “Got a little carried away. But seriously Pearl, this is gorgeous. Thank you so much.”

“Only for the best person,” Pearl whispered, hoping no one heard her as she bent down to light the candles on the cake. She guessed she wasn’t lucky when she glanced up and saw Amethyst’s wiggling eyebrows.

Once all the candles were lighted, Rose bent closer to the cake, her dark eyes glistening in the fiery light.

“You making a wish?” Amethyst asked with the same amount of enthusiasm expressed on Rose’s face.

The taller girl hummed her affirmative, shutting her eyes for a few moments before she blew out all the candles. Three remained.

“Ohoho, three candles left! That means you’ve got three boyfriends or girlfriends,” Amethyst teased, glancing up at Pearl.

“Is there something you’re not telling Pearl, Rose?” Garnet joined in, grinning slightly.

Rose chuckled before attempting to blow out the last three, one still standing. “Well, it looks like there’s only one for me.”

“Aww, how sappy,” Lapis mocked with a sneer. Pearl rolled her eyes amusedly and urged Rose to cut the cake with a hand gesture.

She took great care to cut the cake, goggling at the layers inside once the knife slide all the way down. Just looking at it made it feel like it was melting in her mouth.

She cut off a slice and placed it on a plate, then passed it to Garnet, whom in turn set it on Amethyst’s lap. Garnet received her plate, followed by Lapis and Peridot, and then finally Pearl and herself.

Of course, Pearl had already tasted the cake through one of the cupcakes, but she couldn’t deny her baking skills as her tastebuds were set alight once more. Her pride swelled when she heard the collective happy moans from her friends, though she did scowl when Amethyst attempted to congratulate her skills through a mouthful of cake.

Once everyone had finished their slice of cake, Pearl announced that the cake would be on the kitchen counter and anyone who wanted more could help themselves. She mostly directed this at Amethyst and Rose. When Amethyst followed her into the kitchen, Pearl suspected she was already going for seconds. Too late she realised the smaller girl was actually grabbing the alcohol.

Frowning, Pearl followed Amethyst back to the lounge room, softly plonking onto Rose’s lap again. Her partner had a vodka cruiser pressed against her lips as she did so, and Pearl internally sighed. She had no problem with Rose drinking, but she still wasn’t sure if she wanted to join in, despite her outward confidence she had displayed. However…

Pearl jolted out of Rose’s lap, startling the other girl. She forgot about the jacket in her bag.

_Is it the right time?_

Pearl gazed at her friends already beginning to drink, save for Peridot stubbornly refusing.

_With everyone drinking, it probably is._

Rose sent her a curious look as she stumbled back to the kitchen, but Pearl ignored it. She shoved her arm into her bag, fumbling for the tough fabric, biting her lip slightly when she finally tugged the jacket out.

_Now or never._

Well, that wasn’t particularly true. She could come back later and put it on, but the words still had the same effect. She hesitantly pulled the arms of the jacket over her own, rolling the sleeves up to her elbows. With a final breath, she flipped the collar up and stalked back to the couches.

Pearl first noticed Amethyst ogling at her, a grin quickly curving her lips, then everyone else besides Rose, whom had her back to her due to the position of the recliner. Before Rose caught onto their intrigued gazes over her shoulder, Pearl swiftly bent down, cupping Rose’s face with both her hands, and kissed her, pushing her tongue against hers. If Pearl slinking off to the kitchen previously had startled Rose, then now she was scared right out of her body.

All Pearl could think about was the taste of dark chocolate and raspberry vodka.

And then she decided alcohol would complement Bad Pearl well (and would help her forget about school nagging at the back of her mind).

She slowly pulled away, grinning at the cheer Amethyst gave.

“Bad Pearl’s back!” she howled gleefully, kicking her legs excitedly off the couch. Lapis snickered softly out of her vision, but Pearl wasn’t going to be embarrassed. She was going to have fun.

“What was that?” Rose asked quietly, hostility absent from her tone. Instead, there was awe.

“Oh, didn’t you hear Amethyst?” Pearl questioned smugly, moving to fall into Rose’s lap. “Bad Pearl’s back. Happy birthday.”

“Mmm, you are the best birthday present, I have to admit,” Rose murmured, leaning forward to reconnect their lips, but Pearl pulled away teasingly. She glanced at her friends, Lapis and Peridot involved in their own conversation, but Amethyst and Garnet were watching with interest.

“You were saying about party games?” Pearl asked Amethyst as she grabbed a bottle off the table, glancing at he flavour - also raspberry. Perhaps Amethyst didn’t buy as many flavours as the last time.

The smaller girl’s eyes trailed from Pearl’s sneaky smile to the cruiser inching closer to her lips, and grinned. “Rose, how do you feel about drunk twister?”

Rose hummed. “Well, we aren’t drunk yet, but I’m down. Did you bring twister with you?”

“I sure did.” Amethyst reached out over Garnet’s lap, digging her hand into her black bag resting next to the couch. She tugged out a poorly rolled twister mat, lazily flicking it to the wooden floor off to the side. Before she jumped off Garnet’s lap, she took a giant bite out of a slice of pizza and grasped her vodka.

“How about whenever you fall over, you have to take a massive swig of your drink?” she suggested, pulling out the twister colour-body part alignment board. She glanced at Peridot. “Which means, yeah, you’re at least drinking one standard drink P-dork.”

Peridot rolled her eyes and uncrossed her arms, tentatively reaching out for her own vodka. Lapis gave her a not-so-encouraging shove and an actual shove that almost made the blonde topple over onto the table. Lapis gave her best ‘whoops’ shrug when Peridot whipped around to glare at her.

The rest of the group joined Amethyst on the floor, some more excited than others. The first person chosen to be the spinner person was Peridot, considering she hadn’t even started drinking and the game would be ‘sober twister’ for her. Lapis constantly encouraged her to take faster sips of her drink, but Peridot just grimaced at her whenever she did take a sip. Pearl took a swig of her drink, placing it cautiously next to the two-stack of pizza boxes as to not confuse it for her friends’ drinks.

She had to admit the raspberry vodka tasted better on Rose’s lips.

Amethyst insisted on playing with all five of them on the mat, but after some banter between her, Pearl, and Peridot, they settled on three players at one time. However, for the final round, all five had to do it with the least drunk of them as the spinner.

Pearl was confident with her agile body that she would ace the game. She didn’t account for the alcohol beginning to take the toll on a lightweight and irregular drinker as herself. It was her versus Rose and Garnet, the dubbed ‘tall team’.

After the first few colours and alignments called out, Pearl found herself reaching her lanky arms over Rose’s back and her foot under Garnet. She was stretching her chances at staying upright at the beginning of the round. A couple of call outs later and she ended up tangled on Rose, splayed over the mat with Garnet still balanced on her colours. Both Pearl and Rose crawled off to take a swig of their drinks, as per Amethyst’s instructions. The vodka burned Pearl’s throat, both from the alcohol and the intense sugariness, but she didn’t mind so much. She was already beginning to feel the affects of it on her mood.

She sunk onto the wooden floor, resting her head against Rose’s shoulder as she watched Amethyst, Peridot, and Lapis battle it out on the mat as the ‘shorty squad’. Lapis wasn’t short, more of an average height, but she classified in the top three shortest of the group, Pearl being only two inches taller.

Watching the three shorter people battle in twister to stay upright was rather amusing to Pearl, whom began giggling at their antics. Peridot and Amethyst repeatedly had trouble reaching their arms and legs out to spots, whilst Lapis could’ve easily out-manoeuvred them with her longer limbs if she hadn’t been so lazy or too busy teasing Peridot. In the end, Amethyst ‘accidentally’ shoved Peridot off-balance, which in turn, Lapis ‘accidentally’ shoved Amethyst, declaring the blue-haired girl the winner.

Amethyst pouted and suggested team battles after downing the rest of her drink with a shameless burp. Pearl refrained from scolding her, letting her alter-ego take the reigns for the rest of the night, but agreed with the tag team system. It seemed like a popular opinion. Two teams of two would verse each other, and the first team to have a player fall would lose and scull their drink.

Really, the whole ploy Amethyst had was to get everyone drunk for Rose’s 18th, especially Pearl and Peridot.

The first battle was Pearl and Rose versus Garnet and Amethyst. Pearl kept finding her hands on Rose’s when the colours were called out, but it didn’t make her lose her balance. Instead, she tried sneaking a leg or arm underneath Garnet with the intentions of tripping her over when the next colour was called. She found her foot slipping when Amethyst somewhat flexibly vaulted over her outstretched leg, resulting in her slamming into the ground. Pearl was rather shocked that she had fallen first twice in a row.

Her and Rose monitored the next round after sculling the rest of their cruisers. Another thing that shocked Pearl; her new-found willingness to drink to please Rose… and surprisingly, she was having fun doing so. She never imagined that she’d like drinking, but it made her feel more relaxed and outgoing, something that she enjoyed more than she cared to admit.

After a few more rounds of tag team battles, the final round finally presented itself. The best parts of the previous rounds were: Amethyst tripping and smacking into Garnet, topping them both down with Amethyst sprawled over her; Rose getting so surprised that Peridot slinked under her that she slipped and almost squashed the blonde; and Pearl stretching over Rose and coming nose-to-nose with her, resulting in a quick, conceited kiss that ended up being their downfall.

Surprisingly, it seemed Lapis was the best player on the twister mat, which ended with her revealing that maybe she had a lot of experience with it over the past few years.

By the final round, it seemed everyone was intoxicated to a degree. Lapis finally persuaded Peridot to finish her cruiser, and was now happily chatting with everyone instead of scowling at everything, whilst Lapis was starting her third cruiser and was only beginning to feel the full effects. Amethyst was at the same stage. Garnet, Rose, and Pearl were somewhere in their second drink.

Peridot was the spinner, whilst everyone else took places on the mat. In only a few moves, Pearl found herself laughing giddily as she pressed her nose onto Rose’s again. She surprised herself when she wasn’t the first to fall; it was Rose, whom seemed to be distracted by Pearl herself. Whoops.

Amethyst was the next to go, being set up to trip by Lapis. Whilst Pearl tried to avoid Lapis’ shockingly strategic thinking, she knocked into Garnet and sent herself spinning to the floor. She didn’t mind though, she got to cuddle up to Rose watching Garnet and Lapis battle it out for grand finalist (or whatever).

In the end, it was a tie, but no one was complaining.

Pearl left Rose’s side to grab a slice of cake, hungrily stuffing it into her mouth completely unlike her. She grabbed a cold vodka from the fridge, uncaring whether it was one of Amethyst’s or Lapis’, and headed back to Rose’s side. Her second cruiser was almost finished and she didn’t feel like stopping there. Perhaps at her third one.

She attempted to swerve around the lounge to reach Rose, but stumbled and kicked her bare foot into the wooden slats hidden inside of the couch.

“Ah, fuck!” Pearl hissed, lifting up her foot within her hand’s reach and began massaging it, unaware that she could topple over any moment. She glanced up and noticed everyone staring at her. “What?”

“Did you just swear?” Peridot questioned with wide eyes.

Pearl blinked. “Oh, uh, fudge?”

Amethyst threw a punch into Peridot’s shoulder. “Holy fuck P just swore. We have to get her to drink more.”

“What’s so good about swearing anyway?” Pearl asked as she sunk to the floor, leaning against Rose.

“It just feels so good!” Amethyst exclaimed, throwing her hands up into the air. “And hearing it coming from you is like—like heaven or some shit!”

Rose leaned to Pearl’s ear, whispering, “She’s not wrong, it’s kinda a turn on.”

“Oh? I’ll have to remember that,” Pearl whispered back, grinning deviously.

Rose hummed lowly, placing one kiss on Pearl’s jaw before turning back to the group.

Everyone was happy, whether from the alcohol or the fun they were having, but Pearl found herself smiling cheerily along with everyone else. She watched Amethyst lounging over Garnet’s lap for the millionth time, and wondered how true Smokey’s words had been last Friday’s date night. Amethyst didn’t seem to be conceited with her emotions as of late, which lead Pearl to believe that maybe they weren’t bad emotions. She knew Amethyst hid her feelings when they were bad. And Pearl had a feeling that Garnet was aware, if she had picked up on it too.

“Psst, Amethyst,” Pearl called out, urging the smaller girl closer with a finger waggle. She obliged.

“What?” Amethyst asked irritably, annoyed that she had to fall off Garnet’s lap to get closer to Pearl.

“I dare ya to kiss Garnet.”

Amethyst stared at her like she was a ghost. “What?”

“I dare you—” Pearl pressed a finger into Amethyst’s nose, pushing her slightly, “—to kiss Garnet.”

“Why?”

“Because you like her!” Pearl spluttered.

Amethyst wrinkled her nose. “No I don’t.”

“Then why do you keep laying all over her?”

“Because I’ve got no one else to couch!” Amethyst reasoned, frowning at Pearl.

Pearl hummed in thought. “If you kiss Garnet, you can dare me to do anything.”

“No need.”

Both Pearl and Amethyst glanced up at Garnet towering over them. Amethyst immediately reddened in the face, realising Garnet had been listening. Pearl noticed everyone else had gone quiet, though Peridot’s and Lapis’ conversation was just in hushed tones and hadn’t completely stalled. Too late she realised she was far too loud with her talk with Amethyst.

As she went to apologise for putting Amethyst in an awkward position, Garnet silenced her incoming wave of words by kneeling down to Amethyst’s height. The taller girl swiftly leant forward, briskly pressing her lips against Amethyst’s, and without any thought explored her mouth. Then two seconds later, Garnet was back at her original seating and downing her can of beer. Amethyst numbly stared at Garnet, whilst Pearl just snickered and elbowed her in the ribs.

“Looks like Garnet beat it to you,” she mocked, earning her a shove in the shoulder which sent her tumbling into Rose’s lap. She giggled as Rose gazed down at her, lifting her hand to her cheek fondly. “Hello there.”

Rose raised an eyebrow, smiling coyly. “Well aren’t you cute when you’re drunk.”

Pearl pouted. “Aren’t I always cute?”

“Mmm, I suppose you are.” Rose leant forward to meet her lips, and this time, Pearl happily allowed it instead of teasing her.

And as Pearl cornered Rose up against a wall a few minutes later, the beat of the music loudening and her friends dancing along with it, Pearl thought this night couldn’t have gone better. Shoving her tongue into her mouth, breathing in the scent of vodka and the lingering taste of cake, Pearl was happy, and she was sure Rose was too.

And that’s all that mattered to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of Act II...


	19. An Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act III: Moving On

An Ending

Lapis woke up to the sound of the toilet flushing.

Dim rays of light shed through the windows, the particles of dust gleaming in the dawning sunlight. It was as if the sun itself was rising right at the doorstep. Lapis groggily turned over, feeling the lack of space before seeing it. She was on the longer side of the beige L-shaped couch, but it was still too skinny for her whole body to fit comfortably.

She shouldn’t have been surprised when she realised Peridot wasn’t with her (because of the size of the couch). She remembered the sound that woke her up, and glanced towards the bathroom under the loft. Perhaps Peridot was in the bathroom.

Lapis sat up and swung her legs lazily over the side of the couch. Her head thumped a little, but it was barely noticeable compared to the other hangovers she experienced. She squinted at the front door and windows, noticing that the sun had barely risen over the horizon.

_Goddamn it’s early._

She rose to her feet and stretched slowly, revelling in the feeling it caused in her muscles. She gazed at the bed on the loft and the mattress beside it, realising the other people - her _friends_ \- were in a deep slumber. There was a tuft of blonde hair squished between Garnet and Amethyst on the mattress. So Peridot didn’t sleep with her last night after all.

Rose was snoring softly on the bed, wound in her new cat design blanket. That must’ve meant Pearl was using the bathroom, and if Lapis remembered correctly, that girl drank a lot last night. The first time she’d even gotten drunk, she recalled.

Lapis trudged to the bathroom door, giving it a few taps with her knuckles. “Hey, you okay in there Pearl?”

There was a groan from the other side of the door, then said door inched open a few seconds later. “No.”

Pearl had bags under her eyes, her hair was tousled up more than Lapis had ever noticed, and she generally just looked like shit.

“Are you sick? I was the first time I got drunk,” Lapis asked quietly, as to not wake the others.

“No, thank god, I just feel like crap,” Pearl replied, slinking to the sink and splashing water over her face.

“Headache?”

“Yeah, real bad.”

“Luckily I came prepared. I’ll be back.” Lapis left the bathroom and searched for her bag. Once she grabbed it, she dug around in the pockets for a few moments before she pulled out a packet of panadol. She quickly poured a cup of cool water in the kitchen, then headed back to the bathroom.

“Here.” Lapis thrust the cup and panadol at Pearl. She gratefully took them and swallowed down the medication. “Why are you up so early anyways?”

“I’m a natural early bird,” Pearl answered.

Lapis frowned. “So early you woke up before the sun.”

“It’s 7:30.”

“Huh, I guess winter is kicking in.” Lapis shifted onto one side. “Do you mind if I use the bathroom?”

Pearl startled. “Oh! Sorry, yes, I’ll go.”

A minute later, Lapis finished with the bathroom and exited, wandering to the kitchen to grab a cup of water herself. Pearl was waiting there, one hand cradling her head, the other restlessly tapping softly against the bench.

“Is something up?” Lapis asked after she gulped down water. She began walking to the couch, towards her bag, when Pearl answered.

“I didn’t mean to drink so much last night,” she murmured, biting her lip. “Some parts I remember with clarity, others are blurred. I didn’t want to forget Rose’s birthday.”

“I’m sure Rose won’t forget,” Lapis hummed knowingly.

“What makes you so sure?”

“You left a few _bites_ on her neck to remember.”

“I did what!?” Pearl whisper-shrieked, beginning to blush quickly.

Lapis grinned coyly, grabbing her brush out of her bag and running it through her hair a few times. “Yeah, you completely change when you’re drunk. Never figured you’d be the dominant one though.”

Pearl bit her lip again, harder. “Shush, I had no control over my actions.”

“Don’t tell Rose that, she seemed pretty pleased last night.”

Pearl shot her a glare, but Lapis’ grin only grew as she dropped her brush back into her bag. She returned back to the kitchen, going through the fridge and pulling out the last two bottles of her vodka, stuffing them into her bag.

Pearl raised an eyebrow. “You’re leaving?”

“I’m seeing my dad today. I wouldn’t be leaving so early if you didn’t wake me up, but there’s no point going back to sleep now.” Lapis gazed at Pearl. “I need a coffee. I’m going to the cafe, you’re welcome to come with.”

Pearl rapped her fingers on the counter again. “That would be nice. I’ll change first. You should too.”

Lapis picked at her clothes, her intoxicated self not bothering with changing into pyjamas last night. “Nah, I’m good.”

Pearl scrunched up her nose. “I have deodorant.”

“Thanks,” Lapis snorted, but recognised Pearl was returning the favour of giving her panadol, and not outright telling her she stunk. Pearl grabbed her bag from the loft and tossed Lapis the deodorant before disappearing into the bathroom again. She sprayed it over her body, enjoying the aroma far too much.

Whilst Pearl was changing, Lapis tore out a page of a stray notebook in the kitchen and scribbled in it. _Me and Pearl have gone to the cafe - Pearl will probably be back, but I’ve gotta see my dad. See you._

Satisfied with her note, Lapis sauntered up the steps and stuck the note in Peridot’s hair.

“You ready to go?” Pearl questioned, sticking her deodorant back into her bag and leaving it on the kitchen counter.

Lapis crept back down the stairs and shrugged her bag onto her shoulders. “Yeah, let’s go.”

She opened the door wide, going through first and holding it for Pearl to come after her. Despite the medication, Pearl was still obviously groggy and probably in minute pain. Lapis wondered why she wanted to come with her; she should’ve stayed in bed.

Lapis watched Pearl’s face wrinkle up as sand slithered into her shoes. Lapis just ignored the feeling of grains scratching against her feet. They stayed in silence as they walked to town, admiring the cool breeze that the ocean brought, the chirping and squawking of the birds, and the pretty dawning sky.

Lapis thought of what Peridot suggested what felt like a month ago. Something about wild emotions and… Pearl understanding them too. Honestly, Lapis ditched the suggestion the second she heard it; she wasn’t comfortable asking others for help, and Pearl wasn’t particularly… motherly at times. And even though she was hungover, Lapis was starting to realise the lithe geek wasn't as bad as she thought.

The cafe neared and Lapis mulled on the thought. How would she bring the conversation up? _Hey Pearl, Peridot told me that we’re both mentally fucked up and we could talk to each other for tips?_ No, that didn’t sound right.

The cafe was blinking to life in the morning sun, a few town citizens seeping through the door and ordering their morning coffee. Even though the air was a little chilly, it seemed like a nice day out, and so Lapis instructed Pearl to find a place to sit outside whilst she ordered. After she ordered her coffee and Pearl’s chai latte, she returned to see Pearl gazing through the cafe blinds at the distant beach.

Lapis took a seat opposite Pearl. When neither of them began a conversation, Lapis shuffled awkwardly.

“You know, I’m starting to realise you’re a pretty cool person,” Lapis mused, leaning back against her chair and staring through the blinds too.

“You’re only starting to notice now?” Pearl asked cockily, but added in a sincere tone, “Thanks. I like you too.”

“You’re looking pretty shit still though.”

“Thanks,” Pearl repeated more sarcastically.

“Uh, I mean, why’d you come with me? You could definitely benefit from more sleep.”

“Honestly?” Pearl sighed. “I want to get to know you better. Peridot talks about you all the time, but besides with group things or Amethyst, you haven’t really made much of an effort to talk to us. I thought maybe you were shy.”

Lapis scoffed. “Me? Shy? Are you sure you’ve got the right person?”

“Yeah, it’s ridiculous. I just thought… some people are like that. Extravert on the outside but introvert on the inside.”

“That sounds corny as fuck.” Lapis noticed the waitress bringing their drinks to their table. She thanked her silently and took a sip of her coffee. “Thanks for making the effort. I’m pretty shitty for not trying.”

“No, it’s okay.” Pearl glanced up from her latte and sent Lapis a reassuring smile. “You have made the effort. You’ve joined us for our… parties.”

Lapis hummed, realising that the only times she hanged out with everyone _really was_ when there was a party. Despite her past.

“Hey Pearl? Can I ask you something? It might be a bit personal,” Lapis asked, taking a long sip of her coffee and revelling in the burning bitterness on her tongue. Coffee wasn’t so bad once you got used to it. Somewhat like her friends too.

Pearl raised a quizzical eyebrow. “Go on.”

“Well, a while back, Peridot and I were talking about my, uh, mental health.” Lapis fidgeted in her seat, now realising she was a bit uncomfortable talking about this. “I’m not going into details, but sometimes I suffer from bouts of instability and low self-esteem. Peridot said I should talk to you.”

Pearl had this look on her face that said, _you didn’t ask a question_. Sensibly, she wiped that look away and instead expressed concern.

“Lapis, I’m not a counsellor or a therapist. I can’t really help with this,” she replied, then sighed. “That being said, it is true that I have self-esteem issues. I can be a friend and help you out as much as I can, but I don’t know if it’ll be enough.”

“It’ll be enough, thank you,” Lapis determinedly assured.

“Also I’m a bit headache-y, so I’m not very useful at the moment.” Pearl smiled amusedly. “All I can suggest is listen to the people who love you when your feeling down like that. And people do love you - Peridot, I presume your family, and we do.”

“Honestly, sometimes I doubt Rose cares about me. It’s not like she doesn’t show it, quite the opposite, but my head tells me that she’s faking it, or I’m perceiving it wrong. I _know_ that’s not true, but hey, brains don’t listen to us. I am getting better as my subconscious is realising that Rose truly loves me. So when you’re feeling worthless and Peridot is comforting you, just remember not to interrupt. Just listen to her. You might not believe her at the time, but in time you will.”

Lapis watched Pearl curiously and in awe. “Wow Pearl, you’re a fucking mind magician. I mean, my brain should know all of that stuff, but hearing someone else say that… really makes me think. Thanks.”

“Glad to be of service. And this is going to sound corny, but stay strong.”

Lapis snorted, almost spitting out her mouthful of coffee. “You’re absolutely right, that also sounds corny as fuck.”

Pearl hummed and sipped her chai, silence spreading between the two. Then she spoke up in a quiet tone a few moments later.

“You don’t have to pretend to not be our friend anymore. It’s been two months, you’re in some of our classes, and you’re really warming up to us.”

“I know,” Lapis deadpanned.

Pearl sighed. “I just want you to know we’re here for you. I didn’t just spit out that advice because I don’t care. We all care.” A pause. “You’re in our music class and I can’t help but notice we could work really well together. You’re really good with your guitar and have a nice, soft singing voice.”

Lapis chuckled. “Heh, thanks. You too - I heard your vocals. And Garnet’s. Amethyst is pretty neat on the drums. And… I really do want to make an effort to be a friend to you guys. Honestly, I’m scared. It’s nothing to worry about, just past friendships not working out.” She gave a lopsided smile. “But you guys are pretty cool. I think I like calling you my friend.”

Pearl smiled and blushed slightly. “Well, remember our table at school is always free for one more person.”

“Eh, that might be pushing it.” She snort-chuckled a little, and Pearl joined in too.

Lapis checked the time on her phone - 8:10am.

“I should be going soon,” she announced after finishing her coffee.

“Leaving so soon?”

“Yeah. Maybe if I get home earlier, I can nap before Dad comes.”

“You don’t live with your father?”

Lapis shook her head and stood up, shrugging her bag onto her shoulders. “Nah, but he sees me often enough. He tries to be a good dad so I’ve got to give that to him.”

Pearl hummed again. “Fair enough. I’ll see you tomorrow at school, right?”

“Unless I disappear into thin air, yeah.” Lapis offered Pearl a small smile. “See you later.”

Pearl waved and Lapis sauntered past her, beginning the long walk home.

Her friends really were an odd bunch. Pearl, whom seemed snobby and perfectionist really cared about everyone and put herself below others. Amethyst could be offensive at times, but she really just wanted everyone to be happy so she could be too. Garnet was mysterious as ever, but daring and caring. Double combo. And of course, Peridot. The oddest of them all.

Lapis smiled to herself. She was glad she could call these people her friends.

* * *

By the time Lapis returned home, the sky was darkening, contradicting the earlier morning weather. It didn’t bother her too much, as she liked the rain, though she suspected her father didn’t. She kicked open the front door and made her way to the bathroom, taking a quick shower before she changed into clean clothes and dozed off for a short nap. She was glad her mother wasn’t there to ask questions the second she arrived home.

Roughly an hour later, someone was prodding a finger into her shoulder. She blinked and turned over to face the intruder, relieved it was just her mother. She wore a shy smile.

“Hey, your father is here,” she announced. “How was your night at - who is it - Rose’s?”

Lapis rubbed at her eyes with a balled up fist. “Yeah, it was good. I didn’t get totally wasted so there’s that.”

Iris hummed. “Well, that’s good to know. I’ve got to leave for work, so you better come answer the door for your father.”

“It’s Sunday, why are you working?”

“Filling in. Plus, Daisy wants me there.”

Lapis grunted and uprighted herself, dangling her legs over the edge of her bed. Iris took that as a sign her daughter was getting up and left her room. Lapis rubbed at her eyes once again and stood up stretching. When she heard the front door faintly rattling in the distance, she groaned and stumbled out of her room.

It was the first time since she confided with Jasper that her father decided to take some free time to be with Lapis. She considered that maybe Jasper told him about their bonding session, and that’s why he was absent for a month, rather than a fortnight. Or maybe he was simply busy. Surprisingly, she was too, and the more she thought about it, the more grateful she was that he hadn’t come sooner. She had spent a lot of her free time with Peridot, after all.

She ran a hand through her semi-dry hair, damp from being washed, and glanced out the window at the driveway on the way to the front door. She expected her father’s worn SUV (though it did have personality, with its dents and scratches), but was surprised to see a shiny black Mercedes sudan parked. It was obvious who that belonged to.

She opened the front door, and wasn’t too surprised when it wasn’t her father knocking. Towering over her in all her glory, her wildly styled dark pink hair framing her face perfectly, was Scarlett. Pink Diamond.

Scarlett still had youth in her appearance. Her skin had not one hint of a wrinkle, her walnut brown eyes were alight with energy, and her lips were curled deviously. Whilst her mother kept some of her youth with her soft smiles and warm eyes, the other two Diamonds hadn’t been afraid to age. Scarlett still remained the youngest.

She gazed down at Lapis, strands of hair failing out of place of her mohawk-esque chin-length hair. The strands were red - her natural colour.

“Hello Lapis,” she purred, then glanced over her head as Iris stumbled behind her. “Thank you for taking my shift.”

“What?” Lapis turned around to face her mother, whom flustered a little.

“I wanted you guys to have some family time, so I agreed,” Iris explained, then slithered past Lapis, her long brown hair brushing against her arm.

Lapis frowned a little and rolled her eyes. She wanted to be with her dad, not with Scarlett. She wasn’t too sure about Jasper anymore.

As if to dart around Lapis’ father, Iris stalked to her car and quickly took off, leaving Lapis locking up the house and following Scarlett to her car. Jasper was behind her father’s chair, leaning over and not-so-whispering something to him. Lapis rarely saw Jasper and Scarlett at the same time, but now that she was in a car with both of them, she could see the similarities. They both had darker skin, though Scarlett’s was more mocha and Jasper’s bronze. And the same wild hair, tall stance, and curvy body. Lapis glanced down at her own body; she had none of that.

As the car pulled out of the driveway, the sky rumbled quietly.

“Aw, I thought it was going to be a nice day today,” Jasper grumbled, leaning back in her seat and crossing her arms.

“Rain is nice,” Lapis argued softly.

Jasper scoffed. “Only you think that.”

“Plus, aren’t we going to the movies? Who cares about rain when you’re indoors.”

“Fair enough.”

Lapis bent forwards slightly, getting closer to her father. “What movie are we seeing?”

“Well, Jasper and I have been meaning to see Doctor Strange since it was announced, so we’re seeing that,” he answered, turning slightly to send her a smile.

Lapis rolled her eyes amusedly. “Marvel nerds.”

“Hey, you like Marvel too, don’t lie!” Jasper joked, raising an eyebrow at her half sister.

“Only X-Men.” Lapis stuck her tongue out immaturely.

“Lame.”

As the car headed for the city, the clouds overhead started sprinkling rain, the drops streaking against the windows, making abstract patterns against the glass.

“Huh, the weather really changed today,” Lapis mumbled, and leant against the window, watching the rain up close.

* * *

“That movie was pretty great, right kiddos?” Scarlett exclaimed, a goofy grin curving her lips and showing off brilliant white teeth.

Lapis shrugged and grunted, but lost her facade when Jasper lunged to her shoulders.

“Yeah, that was awesome! I wish I had wicked powers like that,” Jasper mused, grinning wildly. “Like, imagine having magic and shit! Or like, weapons you can summon! Oh, mine would definitely be a helmet so I can headbutt people to death.”

“Right.” Lapis rolled her eyes.

“What about you Lapis? What would your weapon be?”

Lapis strapped the seatbelt across her torso and hummed in thought. “I dunno, I don’t really want a weapon.”

Jasper deflated. “Aw, okay. But Dad! What did you think of the movie?”

“Well I thought Benjamin Cumberly did a good performance,” he admitted, “and it was quite humorous. But I prefer Captain America and Iron Man.”

“Really? Benjamin Cumberly?” Lapis snorted. “Of course you get it wrong. It’s Benedict Cumberbatch.”

“Oh. My bad.” Her father rubbed his neck sheepishly.

“Actors aside, that movie wasn’t bad,” Jasper announced.

“Eh, I would’ve preferred to stay home and nap,” Lapis admitted with a smug smile.

Jasper threw a half-hearted punch into her arm. “Nerd, you love us.”

Lapis hesitated. “Eh, I suppose I do if I came to see that movie with you.”

Jasper snorted and turned away to stare out the window.

“It was good to spend time with my whole family for once,” Scarlett confessed, sending Lapis a smile through the windscreen mirror. “I know you don’t really consider me family Lapis, but I consider you family.”

“I…” Lapis sighed. “I do consider you family. Not immediate family, but close enough.”

“That’s great to know.”

“Wow, you’re really changing, huh,” Jasper whispered to Lapis. “What happened?”

Lapis smiled to herself. “Well, you know that Peridot I mentioned a month ago?”

Jasper’s eyes widened. “No way! You two are…?”

“Yeah, we’re dating. I… I’m getting better from my fear. Peridot is nothing like Malachite.”

Jasper gave an uncertain smile. “Well, I’m happy for you Lapis. You’re not being a snappy bitch anymore.”

“Hey!” Lapis shoved Jasper playfully. “I can be if you piss me off.”

Jasper raised her hands in mock surrender, laughing cheerily. “Alright, point taken.”

Lapis grunted happily and rested back into her seat with a sigh. When they exited the cinemas after the movie finished, the rain had come down faster and the clouds had thickened. Lapis would’ve been surprised if it wasn’t almost winter. If she were lucky, it might’ve even been snowing in a month or two.

Looking out the window was like trying to see through foggy glasses; everything was blurred. The trees they passed loom over her like shadows coming to life, if only for the briefest moment. The more she thought about it, the more Lapis thought she might’ve enjoyed staying home more. She couldn’t experience the rain when she was indoors.

Beach City neared, and if Lapis listened close enough without the sound of the car engine rumbling, or the loud pitter-patter of rain, she would’ve heard the roar of the ocean smashing against the beach. The weather wasn’t being so forgiving, and it really made Lapis think how the early morning could’ve been so pretty and sunny, despite being chilly.

The outskirts came into view, where Jasper and the rest of her family lived, but they’d first have to venture further into the suburbs to drop Lapis off. After a crazy birthday party night and spending almost three hours away from home, she really didn’t have the energy to stay around her family for much longer.

The rain thundered against the roof and doors of the Mercedes, echoing throughout the inside. Scarlett leant forward, squinting through the windscreen.

“It’s so goddamn hard to see through this weather,” she swore as she turned on her high beam headlights on.

“Maybe this was a bad idea,” her father pondered unhelpfully.

“Can’t change that now, let’s just get Lapis home and out of this crazy weather.”

Scarlett pressed down on the accelerator, the engine roaring to life as it sped down the street. Lapis saw a light flash from the corner of her eye and whipped around to see it. She would’ve said something if it hadn’t come so fast and suddenly, but she had no time as the other vehicle slammed into her side of the car. She heard shrieks, searing pain in her left side, and the her head smacked into something as the Mercedes skidded into a pole.

Everything blinked out of existence in her eyes.


	20. Sweet Dreams and Farewell

Sweet Dreams and Farewell

Noise. Lots of noise. Feet clattering against the linoleum floor. Pleas, too many pleas.

Then there was silence. Fearful silence.

Too much to think about.

Peridot didn’t think of the pleas coming out of her own mouth. They were nearly silent, and nobody heard them over their own head-noise anyway.

Her leg jigged in nervous anticipation.

She tried to point out the objects of the room, count the feet tapping against the floor, place names to people. But she couldn’t.

_Do you know that over 30,000 people in the US die from car accidents each year?_ her mind unhelpfully asked. _Almost a hundred each day._ _No, don’t think about that._

Her teeth sunk desperately into her bottom lip. She didn’t need her mind fucking with her, not at a time like this.

_One of the leading causes of de— stop._

She was on the verge of a panic attack, but she needed to stay strong.

For Lapis.

“God, what’s going to happen!?” she questioned nobody, hissing at the mental stress.

The physics side of her brain began to calculate what would happen; if only she knew the speed both cars were going at. But that wouldn’t be helpful anyways. She didn’t want to know how crushed Lapis’ body was.

Or the rest of her family’s bodies.

“Rose!”

Pearl crashed through the front door, eyes already streaming with ongoing tears. Peridot’s leg jigged more. The crushing weight of dread was killing her.

_Not as much as—_

“Where is Rose!?” Pearl snapped out of fear.

Peridot stayed silent. Her jaw slackened, mouth wide, but no words tumbled out. Seemed her throat was dry.

Too much chaos. Too much to think about.

Pearl whipped around and glared at Peridot unintentionally. “A-are we—” She swallowed, her voice cracking immediately, “—we the first?”

Peridot’s voice was hoarse, but she didn’t know why. She hadn’t talked much, from the second she woke up between Garnet and Amethyst, to when her mother received the news from Lapis’ father.

“Yes.” She nodded to the direction of the reception desk, but couldn’t say anymore.

Pearl collapsed into the chair beside Peridot and fell into silent sobs. Peridot was glad they were silent; she didn’t want to start crying as well. She rubbed at her eyes - too late.

Peridot’s mind was a whir, one second she was huddled into Pearl, her arms clinging on tightly for some grip on reality, the next her mother was towering over her.

Daisy remained quiet, but kept pacing between the reception desk and the accompanying seats. She chewed on her fingernails, anything to stop the tears threatening to spill. She couldn’t lose composure in front of an audience… but the eyes weren’t on her, and there was no audience, so she cried quietly.

The lights were bright, but the hospital felt as gloomy as a cemetery.

The front doors slammed open again, and tumbled in a tall figure clad in black, as if preparing for a funeral. No - upon closer inspection, it was navy, not black. The thought calmed down Peridot minimally, but she recognised the face and her heart went cold again.

“Oh Blue…” Daisy whispered, taking uncertain steps towards her business partner. Iris did the opposite; she ran forward and flung her arms around Daisy’s neck, burying her face under her jaw and openly wailing.

“I can’t lose both of them,” she whimpered, her body heaving with each sob.

Daisy ran a hand tentatively down Iris’ back. “We have to hope.”

Iris hesitantly pulled away and trudged weakly to the front desk. Daisy followed.

“I have to see my daughter, Lapis Hannigan! And I—” Iris reached for her counterpart’s hand, “— _we_ have to see Scarlett Brooks.”

The receptionist sent them a wary smile. “When the nurses are finished taking care of her, you can see your daughter.”

Daisy’s eyes narrowed. “And what about Scarlett?”

“Family only until further notice.”

“Do you even know who you’re talking to? We’re business partners! The four Diamonds!” Daisy roared. “We _are_ family!”

“Ma’am, rules are rules.”

Iris took on a more relaxed approach. “What about Grant and Jasper Brooks?”

“Family only until further notice.”

Iris sighed and retreated to the seats, Daisy following her hotheadedly.

Peridot watched the commotion between the two Diamonds and sighed against Pearl’s shoulder. Both of them were shaking with anxiety, but Pearl leapt to her feet and stormed to the front desk, copying the Diamonds. They needed answers.

“Is there any news on Rose and Sal Quartz?” she hurriedly asked, jittering on the spot from nervousness.

Before the receptionist could answer, a pair of nurses entered the area. One glance at their expressions screamed uncertainty.

“Are you the family and friends of the people involved in the car accident half an hour ago?” they asked.

All nodded.

“Yes, we need to see Pin— Scarlett Brooks!” Daisy insisted, crossing her arms over her chest defensively.

“We have some good news and some bad news, so it’s best if you sit down.”

Pearl returned back to her seat next to Peridot, but Daisy refused to sit down, instead rapping her fingers against her arm impatiently. She made a signal to continue talking.

The nurses warily glanced between Daisy and the rest of them. “Scarlett is in the ER in a critical state. When the other car hit hers, the door cramped and damaged her body badly. There’s internal bleeding.” The nurses paused. “There’s a small chance of survival. But she’s striving to hold on.”

“What!? We have to see her!” Daisy snarled, ignoring the salty tears crawling under her lip.

“I’m afraid we can’t let anyone see her, as she is currently being treated by surgeons. We’re trying very hard to save her.”

Daisy balled her fists and started to shake. “You better goddamn make sure she lives, because I need to see her one last time. She’s my family, for Christ’s sake!”

One of the nurses cleared their throat. “Is anyone here family for Lapis Hannigan?”

Iris perked up. “Yes, I’m her mother. Please tell me my baby’s alright!”

“Lapis is currently unconscious. Her head hit an unknown object, and the door also damaged her body, but she’s receiving treatment as we speak. Only a few stitches in her forehead, a broken wrist, bruising, and possible whiplash.”

Iris held her hands over her face, afraid of breaking into sobs. “So she—she’ll be okay?”

“Yes.” Both nurses smiled at her. “She should wake up tonight or tomorrow, and we’ll be able to discharge her.”

“Oh thank god,” Iris cried, doubling over and sinking further into herself.

Peridot felt relief wash over her. Lapis was going to be okay, but… _what about the others?_

The nurses sent Pearl small smiles. “You were asking about Rose and Sal?”

“Yes!” Pearl nearly took to her feet. “How are they doing? Please tell me they’re okay!”

“Wait, _who?_ ” Daisy butted in, frowning at the nurses.

“They were driving the other vehicle and were involved in the accident.” One of the nurses quietly huffed in annoyance at the interruption and continued talking to Pearl. “They’re both okay with minor injuries. They’ll be discharged soon, but you can see them in room 64 down the hallway on the right.”

“Oh, thank you!” Pearl exclaimed and leapt to her feet. She gazed at Peridot. “Are you coming with me?”

“Pearl, I have to see Lapis,” she reasoned guiltily, avoiding eye contact.

“Are you sure they’ll let you see her?”

“I have to! I-I can’t _not_ …”

Pearl gently tugged her into a hug. “Hey, she’ll be okay. Once Rose is discharged, we’ll come see her with you. I’ll call Garnet and Amethyst too.”

Peridot sniffed. “Thank you. Now go see your girlfriend; she needs you.”

Pearl pulled away from the hug and sent her a wobbly smile, then took off down the hallway briskly.

“Where are Jasper and Grant Brooks?” she heard Iris ask the nurses.

“We just had them discharged with minor injuries. They’ll be waiting outside Lapis’ room, which is room 82, also down the right hallway and then the first left turn.” One of the nurses glanced at Daisy. “Family only.”

Daisy growled, “I’m going.” Without a second thought, she stormed down the hallway, taking the lead. Peridot sighed and followed after her with Iris. She turned back and mouthed ‘sorry’ to the nurses, but neither of them bothered stopping them. Perhaps it was for the best.

Iris grabbed Daisy’s wrist. “You don’t have to be angry.”

Daisy spun around and stuck a finger into Iris’ chest. “Yes, actually, I do.”

“You can be upset Daisy, but yelling and snarling isn’t a healthy way of grieving.”

“Who said I’m grieving?” She glared at Iris. “There’s nobody to grieve over yet.”

“Dai—”

Yellow Diamond ripped her arm away and stalked faster down the hallway, then took an abrupt left turn and disappeared. Peridot watched room 64 pass by, wondering if she should peek in and check on Rose, but Iris slowed down to a halt. There was faint sobbing.

Peridot bounded in front of Iris, whom was folding in on herself. “Hey, are you okay?”

“No.” Iris sniffed and snuck a glance at Peridot. “She’s just so brash and—and—and I don’t know! This isn’t about her, this is about our family. I… I’m sorry you have to see me like this Peridot.”

“It’s okay.” Peridot smiled weakly. “We’re all just worried about Lapis, and… and I know you two are close to Pink Diamond, b-but…”

There wasn’t much to say. Even the nurses were losing hope.

“… but my mother isn’t very good with handling emotions. She needs someone to help her.”

“That’s obvious.” Iris completely looked up and Peridot saw thin rivers of tears streaming down her cheeks. She rubbed at an eye with a knuckle. “She’s always been like that. She isn’t very comfortable being sad - doesn’t see the use in it.”

Peridot flexed her hand, then gently reached Iris’ free one. It was at times like this that she was glad she was growing comfortable with touching. “She just needs time. I-I think we all need some time…” She flicked her gaze to the left hand corridor. “C’mon, let’s go see Lapis. Mum probably isn’t best left alone either.”

The instant the pair turned down the left corridor, Daisy was seen stomping around a door impatiently. Peridot presumed it was Lapis’ room, if two other figures cowering on a seat next to it were any indication.

There was a man with brown stubble turning grey and dark brown hair, dressed in a relaxed shirt and dark khakis, sending a few glances at Daisy seething. Upon closer looks, his clothes were slightly torn, as with the bulky girl next to him.

Her long blonde hair was dishevelled and sticking up in random places, and her bronze skin had a grazes and blurs of red over it. Her tank top showed off her toned arms, and her hands stressed together in a Pearl-like fashion.

Peridot had never met the man, but the woman seemed familiar, like a figure from the long lost past. From the information the nurses shared, they had to be Lapis’ father Grant, and her half-sister Jasper.

The family of Pink Diamond.

That would explain why the girl had an air of familiarity.

As Peridot and Iris neared, Lapis’ father glanced up and flinched ever-so-slightly. Iris ignored it and went to Daisy’s aid again. Instead of saying anything, she grabbed her hand and lead her down to a seat next to the door. Daisy hopelessly let herself be dragged to a seat.

Seeing Iris silently being there for her mother, Peridot bravely decided to greet the other two, whom were being ignored. She hesitantly sat beside Jasper and fiddled with her hands.

“Y-you’re Jasper, right?” she asked, nervously avoiding eye contact. 

“Yeah,” the brute sighed and gazed at Peridot, raising an eyebrow. “And you are?”

“You m-may of heard of me f-from Lapis, or your mum…” Peridot noticed Jasper tense. “I’m P-Peridot.”

“Oh, _you’re_ Peridot.” Jasper offered a smile, but it was strained. “Lapis told me about you. I’m glad you’re able to make her happy.”

Peridot blushed and rubbed her arm. “Y-yeah.”

The haunting thoughts of death loomed over them, halting their conversation. It was probably bad timing anyway; Peridot guessed Jasper and her father were the first to hear about Scarlett.

With the silence overwhelming her and the lack of social skills to have an appropriate conversation, Peridot thought back on the whole ordeal. Her mind was still whirring with ignored emotions, and it made her brain jumpstart every few minutes, but they had received good news. Despite the fact two of her friends and their families were involved in the same crash (Peridot wasn’t sure how a coincidence could be so dangerously real), most of them were fine.

But most wasn’t enough, if the way Daisy and Iris were already grieving was an indication.

Peridot felt a pang of guilt in her chest. Maybe, just maybe, if she had woken up earlier and kept Lapis from leaving when she did, the accident wouldn’t have happened.

Peridot realised that Pearl was probably thinking the same thing with Rose, but she knew they shouldn’t’ve been blaming themselves. The fault was chance and bad weather.

But the guilt didn’t leave.

Peridot was so lost in her morbid thoughts that she didn’t immediately realise the door to Lapis’ room opened, and out stepped a nurse. 

“You may see Lapis now, but she won’t be awake for a while,” the nurse announced, playing a fake smile before walking off.

Peridot would’ve leapt to her feet and rushed in first, but she realised that Lapis’ family would want to be in first. Jasper seemed to have the same initial idea as her and quickly disappeared into the room, followed by Lapis’ father. Yellow stood behind Iris and guided her in, hands on shoulders and both of them wearing weak smiles. 

When Peridot made her way in, her throat caught a massive lump of emotions. Inside the dreary grey room was two prim white beds, with only one occupied. Lapis had the sheets wound around her body loosely, and her head rest upon two pillows. A gash was stitched up on her forehead, her left arm bandaged in a cast, and several bruises were colouring her visible skin.

The only colour in the room was Lapis’ cobalt blue hair.

Grant and Jasper sat on one side of Lapis’ bed, Iris on the other. Peridot felt rude to intrude on a family, so she sat on a chair at the foot of the bed, Daisy leaning up against the wall behind her.

Iris ran a hand softly over Lapis’ non-bandaged arm, gently interlocking her fingers with hers.

“You’re going to be okay,” she whispered, biting her lip to hinder the oncoming tears.

Grant took Lapis’ bandaged arm, but Jasper just looked sullenly at her sibling. All Peridot could do was pray.

After a few moments of silence, the door to Lapis’ room opened again, and hesitantly stepped in Pearl and Rose. Jasper briefly glanced their way, but Lapis’ parents didn’t dare drag their eyes away from their daughter. 

Peridot took a long moment to take in the sight of Pearl and Rose. Pearl had an expression torn between gratefulness and guilt, the tiniest hint of a smile contradicting the sadness in her eyes. Rose… Rose was far worse. There was only remorse in her eyes, her fair skin sickly white with dread. When she locked eyes with Peridot briefly, her demeanour didn’t wave.

Unfortunately, someone had to break the silence.

“Who are you?” Daisy hissed at Rose, crossing her arms over her chest.

Rose was glued to the entrance, not taking one step further into the dark room. She swallowed. “I’m Rose, a friend of Lapis and Peridot.”

Pearl stretched her arms out to Rose, as if to protectively hold her, but thought better of the situation and let her arms hang limp by her side.

Peridot saw the fire in her mother’s hazel eyes.

“Get out,” Daisy ordered, her tone deadly.

“Daisy, let them in. They’re Lapis’ friends,” Iris pleaded, sending a pitiful expression to her.

Daisy thrust a finger in Rose’s direction. “ _She’s_ the reason Lapis is here in the first place - the reason that Scarlett is dying!”

Rose’s expression twisted into mortified one, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. Pearl covered her mouth with one hand and stepped closer to Rose, her own eyes mimicking Rose’s.

Peridot stepped in. “Don’t you dare put the blame on Rose; she didn’t purposely crash into Scarlett’s car! It was a car _accident_!”

Daisy stared down at Peridot and flinched, surprise and hurt overtaking her previously defensive expression. She went to say something, but nothing came out.

“Um, excuse me,” a voice interrupted behind Pearl and Rose, and both of them sidestepped to the foot of the bed so a nurse could peek through the door. “May I talk to Grant and Jasper Brooks for a moment outside?”

Quietly, the two requested squeezed through the room and out to the hall, closing the door behind them. With the opportunity present, Peridot dragged her chair from the foot of the bed to the side next to Iris. She sent Peridot a small welcoming smile drowning in tears.

Pearl and Rose followed Peridot in silence, no doubt wanting to put space between them and Daisy, and kneeled by her side.

“Hey, I know you can’t hear me, but I’m so glad you’re going to be okay,” Peridot murmured to Lapis, wanting to caress her hand if it weren’t for Iris’ still clutched to it. “I was so scared when I heard the n-news… I thought I m-might’ve lost you. But I’ll get to see you smile again.”

With her free hand, Iris gently rubbed Peridot’s shoulder.

“Lapis’ smile really is beautiful, isn’t it?” she asked.

Peridot smiled slightly. “It is, when she decides to smile.”

That earned her a watery chuckle from Iris.

A few moments later, the door reopened, stepping in Grant and Jasper. Instantly the mood darkened; Grant was squeezing his eyes shut, and Jasper was desperately hugging the man, but a few sobs escaped her. Grant was the one to speak up.

“She’s g-gone.”

For a second, nothing happened. Complete silence. Everyone stood still.

Then everything happened too fast.

Rose sunk to the ground hiccuping. Iris broke out into sobs, her face collapsing into Lapis’ slumbering body. Daisy was yelling, her tears crawling down her cheeks rapidly. Jasper clenched her fists and growled.

Peridot heard too many things. Too many cries, but one stood out the most.

“You killed my mother,” Jasper drawled with a voice dripping with venom. “You are not welcome here.”

Broken with sobs and grief, Rose dragged herself out of the room, Pearl clinging to her arm.

Peridot’s mind swirled. It was too much to take in. She didn’t know Pink Diamond personally, had never met her, but it felt like a piece of her family had been torn out. Perhaps because of her mother.

Her eyes swelled with tears, but not many strayed down her cheeks. She found Lapis’ hand, now free of Iris’, and squeezed for self-comfort.

There was too much chaos around her.

Jasper swore and swung around from her spot, throwing a fist into the wall. Daisy left the room in distraught, bawling out loud. Grant and Iris remained still, save for their shoulders heaving with sobs.

All Peridot could do was zone out and distance herself from reality.

What seemed like minutes later, but indicated by the clock over the bed that it was actually hours later, a hand rested against Peridot’s shoulder. Pulling her from her deep daydreaming, she slowly gazed up to see her mother standing over her, shaking but no longer controlled by anger.

“Peridot, we should go home soon,” Daisy suggested, her voice trying to be strong but failing.

“I want to stay until Lapis wakes up,” she insisted, looking back at Lapis peacefully sleeping on the bed. Peridot wished she could’ve done the same instead of being around for the chaos.

“She might not even wake up tonight.”

“Please, I want to be here if she does.”

Daisy sighed. “Today has been… tough. If you’re going to stay longer, would you like some afternoon tea?”

Peridot’s stomach grumbled. “Yes please.”

Daisy guided Peridot to her feet and towards the door. The room was empty of everyone else except for a half-asleep Iris. They walked down the hallways and past the reception to the left hallway, which opened into a food court. They gazed at the small selections of food, and Peridot settled on a sausage roll.

“I’m going home. I can’t stand this place anymore…” Daisy announced, trailing off as she clenched a fist. “Ask Blue if she’ll take you home when she goes home. And here’s some money for dinner.”

Peridot swallowed down her roll quickly, content that her belly was now full. She took the offered money and stuffed it in her pocket. “Thanks Mum. And, uh, stay strong.”

Daisy paused, then nodded. “I’ll see you tonight Peridot.”

Then she disappeared.

After resting for a few moments to let her stomach settle, Peridot returned to Lapis’ room and sat back down in her seat. Iris was still resting with her upper half on Lapis’ bed, but she seemed to be awake.

“Hey, you don’t mind taking me home when you go home?” Peridot tentatively asked, fiddling with her hands.

“Sure,” Iris mumbled.

Peridot fidgeted. “Are you going to wait until Lapis wakes?”

“Yeah.”

Peridot gently rubbed Iris’ back, like she had done to her earlier. “Things will get better.”

Iris stayed silent, fearing bursting into sobs again.

Knowing it was going to take time for Lapis to wake, Peridot fell asleep fretfully. Her dreams were jittery and nightmarish, resulting in her jolting awake a few times. When her body refused to sleep more, she merely played with her phone to keep her mind distracted from thinking about the dead.

A few times she woke and Iris was gone, or Jasper was back, but Grant seemed to have disappeared along with Daisy. Pearl and Rose also never returned, nor did Garnet and Amethyst visit.

Peridot sighed, pocketing her phone, running out of things to do. Time had gone so fast today, but now that Peridot was waiting for Lapis to wake and not retreating from reality as a coping strategy, time was slowing down.

Jasper was sitting opposite her, completely closed off with her muscular arms tucked into her body and her wild hair hiding her face from onlookers.

“Why do I lose everyone I care about?” Jasper murmured faintly, and Peridot flinched. She had a feeling she wasn’t supposed to hear that, so she pretended she didn’t.

Jasper swallowed and ran a hand across the cast on Lapis’ arm. “You managed to make new friends, keep your family, recover from the past… but I feel like I’ve lost everyone now.”

Peridot’s stomach gurgled unhelpfully. She sheepishly glanced down at her phone again, checking the time. Roughly dinner time.

“Hey, uh, Jasper? Would you like anything from the food court?” she asked as she stood up.

“No,” Jasper bluntly replied.

Peridot nodded solemnly. Jasper didn’t seem to be the type that’d appreciate being asked, ‘you sure?’, so Peridot didn’t bother.

The food mall was still rather scarce, and Peridot settled on Chinese fried rice and a bottle of coke. By the time she returned back to room, Jasper was nowhere to be seen.

Peridot grabbed the television remote and switched it on, leaving it on the first channel that popped up. She sat beside Lapis in Iris’ chair, turning it slightly so she could see the TV hanging on the wall in front of the bed. Not particularly paying attention to what was on the TV, Peridot stuffed her mouth with the fried rice, savouring the taste.

Despite a shitty day, at least the food was alright. One tiny, bright thing in her day of misery so far.

Peridot didn’t register it at first due to her mind drifting away as she swallowed her food, but a faint murmur sounded from beside her. Glancing to her side, Lapis was fidgeting a little. Peridot’s heart thudded fast in her chest, threatening to jump out of her throat; was Lapis waking up?

After taking a sip of her coke, she placed her food and drink on the bedside table and rested her gaze on Lapis. When Peridot gently rubbed her hand over Lapis’, she stirred, attempting to roll away. She found that amusing, oddly.

It took a while for Lapis to wake up, but Peridot was patient. When the blue-haired girl rolled over to face Peridot, she flicked her eyes open, slowly taking in her surroundings as she woke. It took a moment for Peridot to realise Lapis’ eyes were open, but when she did, excitement flooded her being.

“Lapis!” she cried, flinging herself onto Lapis’ upper half in an attempt to hug her. Lapis’ surprise turned into content snort-giggles after a brief moment.

“Hey,” she replied drowsily, sending her a lopsided smile as they pulled away. Lapis gazed over her surroundings, then at her bandaged arm, and the more she looked, the more her eyes widened in understanding. “I’m at a hospital?”

“Yeah, we’re in the city. Do you remember what happened?”

Lapis hesitated for a second, then solemnly nodded. “Where’s Jasper? Dad? Scarlett?”

Peridot winced, quickly glancing away, and began fiddling with her hands. “W-well, Jasper and your father are okay. Jasper just left ten or so minutes ago.”

Lapis sighed with relief, then perked back up again. “What about Scarlett?”

“Uh, um, she d-didn’t… make it.”

Saying those words made Peridot’s world spin again, and she gripped the bed with her hands, tousling with the sheets as a stress-reliever.

Lapis didn’t say anything, just folded over in her hands.

After a stretch of silence, she mumbled, “I hope Jasper is okay.”

Peridot blinked. She expected Lapis to be upset, but she seemed to be more worried for her family. “She’s… coping.”

“Is Mum okay?” Lapis asked, lifting her head out of her hands. “She was close to Scarlett.”

Peridot fidgeted. “That’s a very hard question to answer after what happened.”

“Right, yeah. I’m sorry for asking, I’m just…” Lapis exhaled a long breath. “Worried.”

Peridot nodded in understanding and gestured to her food on the table. “Are you hungry?”

“You bet I am.”

Appetite gone, Peridot handed over her fried rice and coke to Lapis.

“It’s gonna take a long time to get used to this arm,” Lapis mused, waving her casted arm for effect. “Right handed, but I still need both hands for a lot of things. What happened to it anyways?”

“I think the doctors said it was broken,” Peridot answered, then shrugged half-heartedly. “They’ll come and discharge you soon, I think.”

“Yeah. Are you okay?”

“Not really. I thought I just told you that was a terrible question.”

“Sorry.”

Peridot sighed. “I was really worried about you Lapis. And about Rose.”

“Rose?”

“Yeah, she was the driver of the other car.”

“Is she hurt?”

“Not badly. But…” Peridot trailed off, absentmindedly staring at the television. “Like the rest of us, she’s not doing emotionally well.”

“Peridot? Isn’t that your mum?” Lapis changed the subject, pointing at the television with her good hand. A news report was playing on the TV, the headline “Pink Diamond’s Demise”. Interviewers were attempting to talk to Daisy, but she refused. They instead talked to someone else.

“It’s tragic that this has happened, but it’s unimaginable what it must be like for the Diamonds. What will Diamond Interactive be like now?” they asked from behind the camera.

Three women were being interviewed, all sharing similar looks. One had ash blonde hair style in a curt bob, another with brown hair in a fringed bob, the last with an auburn undercut. The last seemed particularly distraught. Sunny, Indigo, and Lia read the name-tags.

“It will be hard, losing one of the CEOs of the company, but we have to face the struggles,” the blonde one answered, her voice high pitched and trying to hide any sadness.

The brunette remained quiet, but the redhead spoke up.

“Scarlett and I are—were close, and it’ll take a long time for some of us to recover. She was an amazing person, and won’t be forgotten.”

The report switched to a road, two cars being surrounded by policemen, nurses, and firemen. The cars were being dragged to a clearing. The reporter in front of the scene began talking, but Peridot switched off the TV. She didn’t want to hear the details of the accident, or what would become of it now that someone had died.

She crawled into the bed, cuddling into Lapis’ shoulder.

“Why do bad things happen?” she asked rhetorically, clenching her fingers into Lapis’ shirt.

Lapis didn’t answer.

They huddled together in silence for a long time, until Lapis’ mother entered the room and cried tears of joy. They embraced tightly, and a nurse came in to discharge Lapis. She was given a prescription for painkillers if her arm started hurting, and precautions for her stitches.

The three of them left the room, Peridot looking for any signs of Jasper but failing. They reached the reception and signed off, but Peridot recognised a familiar person.

It had been months since she’d seen him, but sitting on a bench by himself smiling hopefully at Lapis, was Greg. When Lapis sauntered over to him, they quickly embraced, and then Greg pointed at her cast and chuckled.

Peridot didn’t bother introducing herself, and after Greg offered his condolences, her, Lapis, and Iris took off in Iris’ car, back home.

After a crazy day, Peridot was glad to sit back into the comfortable seats and gaze out the window, watching the stars blink in the sky. Things weren’t going to be easy, especially for the Diamonds and Rose, but they had to get better.

Peridot was determined to think they would.


	21. Losing Your Halo

Losing Your Halo

School was bleaker than usual. With the final weeks of the term playing out, it should’ve been hectic, several tests a day and panicking to finish owed assignments. But everything felt so… dull. The looks people gave, their steps of avoidance, it was heavy. Some dared to offer their condolences and comfort, but it passed over.

Of course everyone had heard the news. It was the biggest local news in years. One of the heads of a growing virtual reality corporation had died. _Locally_. The first few days were filled with reports on the accident, planning interviews with willing people involved with the incident. They attempted to interview the other three heads of Diamond Interactive, and two of them avoided the media, but White Diamond was persuaded.

Peridot ignored the news reports. Her mother turned off the television whenever they popped up too.

Pearl and Rose disappeared frequently at school. Whenever Peridot snuck a glance at them, the former was quietly comforting the sorrowful and grieving latter. They even skipped the first day of school; something that was unheard of from Pearl.

Garnet and Amethyst heard the news late in the afternoon after the accident. Unfortunately, they weren’t able to travel to the city to see Lapis in the hospital, or hear the deathly news firsthand, but they offered their sympathy when school was back on Monday. Of course, Pearl and Rose weren’t there to hear their sorries.

Strangely enough, Lapis regularly sat with Peridot after what happened. Peridot could only guess she didn’t like being alone anymore, or people were bothering her about the accident. With her and Garnet around to intimidate onlookers, not many people let their curiosity devour them enough to ask questions. Lapis wouldn’t’ve given them answers anyway.

Peridot’s days were blander. Death wasn’t something easy for her to deal with, even if she barely knew the person who passed away. Interactions between her friends seemed trivial, Lapis holding her felt off, her hobbies were boring and dull. And then there was Daisy.

She was broken. Sometimes gazing off at the kitchen wall for minutes on end, completely unresponsive to Peridot’s pleas, other times fretting around the house, trying to do five jobs at once. Most of the time she’d end in some sort of violent outlet, throwing whatever was in her hands at the ground, or kicking the closest thing to her feet. Once, Peridot saw her openly sob into her hands, unmoving for at least an hour.

Peridot had no idea what to do about her mother. Fighting her own swirling thoughts, she left her mother to her own devices most of the time. Occasionally she’d rub Daisy’s arm or back, or rarely, hug her. Their relationship was more delicate than ever.

One particular afternoon, four days after the accident, Peridot met one of the girls from the original interview. The one with the short blonde hair and prim posture; Sunny. Apparently her mother’s assistant or something rather. Peridot didn’t bother introducing herself and stalked off to her bedroom. At least her mother had someone else to help her.

The day after, Friday, school felt the same. Dreary, tiring, blank. Her friends were beginning to recover, save for Rose, but Peridot… just couldn’t. It was like her body was in lockdown, or like a scratched disk stuck on the same moment repeating over and over. Amethyst’s chirpy attitude wasn’t entirely back, but she was cracking jokes here and there, and offering the odd smile. Garnet was being as comforting as she could be, which wasn’t entirely, but she was trying her best. Pearl had to worry more about Rose’s distraught than her own, and so put on a spirited charm, but it did little.

And then there was Lapis. Peridot wasn’t sure how she did it; she was involved in the damn accident, but Lapis acted like everything was getting better. Her odd optimistic attitude really threw Peridot. It was unnatural for her. Out of everyone, Lapis was the closest to Pink Diamond; shouldn’t she have been grieving the most?

Peridot didn’t understand at first, but after observing the similarities, it slowly clicked in place. Like Pearl trying her best to be the happiness that Rose needed, Lapis was trying to be the colour in her dull week.

After the last period came to a halt, Peridot shrugged her bag onto her shoulders and aimlessly wandered to the front of the school. A hand on her shoulder halted her.

“Hey,” Lapis softly greeted, “I’m heading to town to grab a new phone, you coming?”

_That’s right; Lapis’ phone smashed during the accident._

Peridot shrugged and kept making her way through the front doors, desperately searching for some fresh air. “Sure, I’ll come with.”

Hurt briefly flashed across Lapis’ face, but she hid it well. “What happened to your happy-go-lucky attitude?”

“You know exactly what happened.”

Lapis remained silent, but took hold of Peridot’s hand with her good hand once they left the school grounds. Everything felt numb.

“I was hoping you’d help me choose a phone,” Lapis murmured, staring at the area right in front of Peridot’s eyes. “Yanno, nerd out and tell me which specs are best.”

Honestly, Peridot appreciated that Lapis was making an effort. It wasn’t like Lapis to make an effort at all usually, but the past few weeks had been… progress. Progress that happened partially because of her. So Peridot took the bait.

“Well, what phones do you have in mind?” she asked, hinting the smallest smile. Fake or genuine, she didn’t know.

Lapis’ smile was genuine though. “Well, the whole Apple vs Android war is hideous, and I would’ve gone with the Google Pixel if it weren’t for the pricetag. Mum might have a big income but I don’t wanna suck it out of her. So I’m settling with a second hand phone.”

“What about insurance?”

Lapis’ smile temporarily twitched into a frown. “Insurance is kinda iffy at the moment. I don’t really understand it. But if I had a phone right now, I could show you the two I’m considering.”

Peridot fished her phone out of her pocket and held it out for Lapis. “Here.”

“Sweet. Do you mind if I log onto my Facebook to find the posts?”

“Knock yourself out.”

Lapis tapped at Peridot’s phone for a few minutes, then shoved the screen into Peridot’s nose. “Okay, this is the first phone.”

“Alright, and what’s the second?”

Lapis tapped at the phone for another minute. “This one.”

Peridot raised an eyebrow. “Do you want a biased or unbiased opinion?”

“Whatever suits you.”

“I’d go with the first choice. Not only are iPhones superior to Galaxies in almost all ways, but the price is cheaper.”

“Yeah, but there’s less storage on the iPhone.”

“Well, you’ve got a laptop. As long as you can store all your shit on your phone on there, then it doesn’t _really_ matter.”

“What about camera specs?”

“Wouldn’t know, I haven’t researched Galaxies.”

Lapis sighed, but she wore a mischievous smile. “You really are heavily biased.”

“You should’ve known that when we binged _Camp Pining Hearts_.”

“I still don’t understand why you dislike Paulette so much.”

Peridot stuck up her hand, pouting. “Conversation for another time.”

Playfully bickering with Lapis was doing wonders on her mood. She missed doing it, staying up late on school nights to uselessly argue with Pearl for the fun of it. It brought back memories from a less complicated time, like when they spent the day swimming at Lapis’, or the first party she attended (and strangely enough, where her first kiss was too). Lapis had simultaneously been in her life for a year, and two months, and Peridot couldn’t imagine her life without her. They had only been dating for a month, but it already felt like forever to Peridot.

Peridot quickly enveloped Lapis in a tight hug, despite being in the middle of the street. “Thank you for being you. And for putting the effort in. You’re great.”

“Just doing my job.” Lapis returned the hug, even lifted Peridot off the ground and spun them around (despite her arm in a cast - how did she _do_ that?). Peridot squeaked, and Lapis couldn’t help snorting at the cute sound. “I love you, and I just want you to feel better.”

“I love you too. I… I’m sorry about the past week.”

“It’s okay. Let’s just grab me a phone and then we can do fun stuff to keep your spirits up.”

* * *

“I was really concerned you were going to get the Android. Thank the stars that you didn’t.”

Peridot and Lapis were on their way back to the latter’s, both of them cradling a box of hot chips to their chest.

“Well, I wouldn’t want my girlfriend leaving me for her iPad if I did,” Lapis joked through a mouthful of chips.

Peridot smiled, proud that Lapis was getting better with her eating habits. Even with the bleak times she’d gone through, and more the come, Lapis’ improvement didn’t hinder. And that really lit something within her, despite the bad joke.

“An iPad can’t kiss me,” Peridot admitted, then blushed at her words. Over a month ago, she wouldn’t of even thought of kissing someone. But things change, she supposed.

“That’s the only reason you keep me ‘round? Kissing?”

Peridot spluttered. “N-no! You’re good at cuddling too. And moral support.”

“Riiight. Sure. Totally not just because I’m a good kisser.”

“W-well, you do have experience…”

Lapis raised an eyebrow, her mouth twitching cockily. “I was joking, but who am I to deny being called a good kisser.”

Peridot shoved Lapis in the shoulder, both of them breaking out into light-hearted chuckles (and snorts from Lapis).

“Don’t need to embarrass me furthermore!” Peridot exclaimed, picking up a quicker pace. “Maybe if we get to yours fast enough, we can double-check if you really are a good kisser.”

Shock plastered across Lapis’ face, her jaw dropping comically. “Are you flirting? What is happening in that Peri-dorky brain of yours?”

“Thought I’d, uh, try it,” Peridot confessed, clearing her throat. “Okay, I’m trying t-to repay the favour of you being super nice the p-past five days!”

Lapis snorted. “You don’t have to repay me. It’s just the benefits of being my girlfriend.”

“So is kissing.”

“You were being serious, huh?” Lapis grinned. “Can’t turn down an offer like that.”

“Ugh, you’re impossible!”

Lapis hummed, stuffing another chip into her mouth. “Never been called that before.”

Peridot rolled her eyes and turned down a street ahead of her, disappearing around a corner.

“Hey, wait up! You don’t have to rush,” Lapis called out, jogging slightly after Peridot, eager to catch up.

“I don’t really want to be outside any more,” Peridot replied, spotting Lapis’ house in the distance.

“Really?” Lapis asked incredulously. “Because a moment ago you were just flirting with me and that makes me think you’re rushing for a different reason.”

“Stop pointing out awkward things, it’s making me uncomfortable.”

The harshness of Peridot’s words stung a little, but Lapis knew that Peridot wasn’t her best lately, nor was she great with words or a liar.

Lapis rubbed her arm. “Sorry.”

Peridot groaned at herself. “No, I’m sorry, ugh. It’s just…”

Lapis’ house loomed over them as they walked up the driveway. Peridot noticed the lack of a car in the garage, and her mind unintentionally thought about how Iris was coping. Where was she? Was she wallowing in grief and regret? Was Daisy with her? Peridot shook her head as Lapis unlocked the front door.

“It’s just that everything has been so crap lately, and it’s becoming harder to control myself, and—and…” Peridot trailed off, gazing at the carpet under her feet. “This whole week I’ve just wanted to be with you. So yes, honestly, I just want to kiss you right now and forget about everything else.”

Lapis’ cheeks flushed slightly at the forwardness. “It’s alright Peridot. Things have been hard and they won’t be going away soon. But if you just wanted to be with me, why didn’t you say anything?”

“For starters, school is a pain in my ass. But it’s been so… bland. Multiple times I’ve wanted to break down and cry for no reason. I mean, I know the reason, but I shouldn’t still be crying over someone I didn’t know!”

“Oh, Peridot… if I knew things were this bad for you, I would’ve taken days off with you.” Lapis coaxed Peridot inside onto the lounge. She brought her in for a warm, one-handed hug. It was hard getting used to the cast.

Peridot pushed away. “No, I don’t want us to be angsty right now! Things are shit, but I want to forget about that. I want to be happy because you’ve tried so hard for me. We can postpone our grief until… _it_.”

“Are you sure?” Lapis hesitantly questioned. “I don’t want to toy with your emotions.”

“You’re not toying with my emotions, I swear.” Peridot leaned back into Lapis’ arms, but uprighted herself and pressed her lips against the corner of Lapis’. “I’ve needed this all week.”

Lapis wrapped her arm around Peridot once again, fiddling with her shirt with her bandaged hand as she crawled into her lap. Peridot brought her hands to cup Lapis’ cheeks, gently meeting Lapis’s lips halfway. They were soft against her dry lips, but soon the dryness ebbed away as saltwater ran across them.

“Peridot?” Lapis whispered, pulling away and staring into her eyes.

Peridot blinked, realising the saltwater on her lips was _her tears_. She wiped at her eyes with a knuckle, wondering when her eyes betrayed her wishes.

“I-I’m sorry! I don’t know what’s wrong with me, ugh. I’m a mess,” Peridot hissed, cowering into her hands and into Lapis’ chest.

“Hey, hey, nothing’s wrong with you. Grief messes with people sometimes.” She tucked Peridot under her chin and breathed in the scent of her hair conditioner. “Remember when I called myself a mess a few weeks back? When it was super rainy and you came here to comfort me? You called me a perfect imperfection. You’re my perfect imperfection too.”

Peridot sniffed. “Heh, I wouldn’t say ‘perfect’.”

“Well, of course you’re a perfect imperfection. The best people and characters aren’t the ones that always save the day with no faults. They’re the ones that make progress on themselves and strive to be better despite the hiccups. They’re the ones with a personality and uniqueness and problems, and it makes them the quirky highlight. You’re my quirky highlight and perfect imperfection.”

Peridot broke out into giggles by the end of Lapis’ monologue and pushed away from her cuddles. “Okay, you can stop with the sappy poetry now. You’re making it sound like we’re in an average rom-com.”

“If it gets you smiling, I’ll be in a rom-com with you any day,” Lapis replied, sticking her tongue out.

Peridot amusedly rolled her eyes and smiled genuinely. “Shall we continue where we left off?”

“Y’know, flirting both suits you and is the weirdest thing. It’s like when a stranger is flirting with you, but they’re hot.”

“That’s… something I never thought I’d be compared to. Anyways—” Peridot crawled back into Lapis’ lap and reconnected their lips, willing with all her might for her emotions to stay intact. Lapis hummed into the kiss, tangling her good hand into Peridot’s wild hair and curling strands around her fingers. Peridot pulled away briefly.

“I think I’m ready for the next step.”

“The next step?”

“W-well…” Peridot fidgeted, glancing away from eye contact. “You know when you took it to the next step on our first kiss?”

“Oh, you mean making out?” Lapis grinned deviously.

“Yes! But I was trying to use better wording.” Peridot growled lowly at her cheeks heating up.

“Are you sure _you_ want to try it? Because it can get heated, and I know you’re asexual, so I don’t want to push anything.”

“I-I think I’ll be okay.”

“Wait, first,” Lapis interrupted before Peridot got any ideas, “I want to check out my new phone!”

She reached to her side and pulled out the box from her bag, and a ziplock with a sim card in it. The phone was slim and in great condition, and both her and Peridot stared at it for a minute in excitement. Both of them being tech nerds, any new technology was captivating.

After connecting the phone to the wifi and downloading her previous backup, Lapis installed her old sim card and waited for everything to load. When a bunch of messages were sent to her inbox, she raised an eyebrow.

“I told you iPhones are superior,” Peridot gloated as she examined the phone, then noticed Lapis opening her messages. Her previous blush returned. “Oh…”

“You sent me messages when I was in the hospital?”

Peridot sheepishly gazed away. “Yeah, they’re just… little cute and worrisome messages, I guess.”

“From ‘smol’ - ‘Get well soon, I need hugs’. ‘I just dropped some fried rice on you whoops’. ‘I’m scared… things are scary Lapis, and you’re not around to help me’.” She frowned at the last one.

“Yeah, just little messages…” Peridot commented on Lapis’ silent wonderings. “And I’m ‘smol’ in your contacts? Thanks.”

Lapis flashed her a smile. “Don’t worry, Amethyst is ‘smol 2’ and Garnet and Pearl are ‘tol’ and ‘tol 2’ respectively. Here, I’ll fix it.”

Peridot peered at the phone squinting as Lapis change her name to ‘smol bae’. “Fine, I’ll accept that.”

“Hmm, well now that I’m done with my phone for now, do you want to continue what we were doing?”

“What?” Peridot frowned in confusion but quickly remembered. “Oh, s-sure!”

“You can follow my lead,” Lapis suggested, then wrapped her arms around Peridot’s midsection. She slowly met Peridot’s lips, lightly kissing her until she parted her lips enough. Gently, as to not spook her, Lapis explored Peridot’s mouth, lingering for a while before parting.

Peridot felt fizzy. Her nerves were alight, her mind spinning like a whirlpool, her lips tingling. _God_ , she needed that. Something good new to erase the bad new temporarily.

“… I liked that,” she declared, eyeing Lapis with curiosity. “Much less scary than when you first tried to pull that move.”

“Do you want to try reciprocating?” Lapis asked, adding a small purr to the end of her words for good measure. Peridot flushed and nodded. She pressed against Lapis in an attempt, but the latter fell onto her back purposefully. Peridot rolled her eyes and played along, crawling on top of Lapis to kiss her. As she deepened the kiss, a noise erupted from nearby.

Peridot froze. The door. That was the door. She bolted upright, fearing Iris finding them making out on her couch.

It wasn’t Iris.

Hanging off the door frame, her large hand gripping onto it like she was going to stumble and fall any minute, was Jasper. Her dishevelled blonde hair shrouded her face, but her body was shaking and her knuckles were red and torn. As she tried to upright herself, her other hand moved into vision, exposing the half-empty six-pack of beers.

“Jasper!?” Peridot cried out, almost falling off the couch as she shrank back and Lapis sat upright.

She lifted her head, gazing at Peridot with surprise. “You’re here?”

“Jasper, what are _you_ doing here!?” Lapis exclaimed, slitting her eyes at the alcohol. “Have you been drinking?”

The intruder hesitated, slowly gazing at the bottles in her hand. She eyed Lapis. “Don’t you remember the old times? Drinking away our worries with Malachite? Because everything was fucked up?” Jasper took a few brisk steps towards the couch. “Drink with me, Lapis. Let’s forget about everything.”

Lapis launched off the couch. “Don’t you dare mention Malachite.” She peered at Jasper’s grazed knuckles, and gently grabbed her free hand with her good hand to study them. “What have you done to yourself? Peri, can you grab me the first aid kit from the kitchen cupboard?”

Peridot nodded and hastily moved to the kitchen. _Who the heck is Malachite?_

“S’nothing, just a few scrapes,” Jasper drawled, clenching her fist and yanking it from Lapis’ grip. Lapis stubbornly grabbed it again.

“A boxing bag shouldn’t leave your hands bloody. What - or who - have you been fighting?”

Jasper grumbled. “Dad and I were arguing. I punched the walls and stole his alcohol.”

Peridot dug around in the cupboard and dragged out a box of medical supplies. She brought them to Lapis and stared at Jasper’s wounds. Lapis thanked her and pulled Jasper onto the couch and began disinfecting her wounds.

“Why were you and Dad fighting?” she asked, dabbing at the grazes with tissues and disinfectant.

“Home isn’t anything like what it used to be with… Mum.” Jasper’s fists clenched again and Lapis wrapped a bandage around her hand with the help of Peridot. “Can I stay here with you?”

“What about Dad? Is he okay?” Lapis asked instead, attending to Jasper’s other hand.

“I don’t know.”

Lapis sighed. “I’ll give him a call later. You can stay as long as you don’t drink anymore.”

“Don’t you want to drink too?”

“No Jasper, I don’t.”

“You just don’t understand,” Jasper growled, going to grab for another beer but Lapis swatted her hand away. “It’s so fucking hard going home and realising Mum is never going to be there again!”

“I already told you, you can stay here!” Lapis snapped, grabbing the six-pack and moving it to the kitchen before Jasper took another swipe at it.

“Yes, but that doesn’t bring Mum back! She’s getting fucking _buried_ next week, and that Rose Quartz isn’t even going to court for it!” Jasper leapt to her feet, knocking into the coffee table. “ _It’s all that fucking Rose’s fault that she’s dead!_ ”

Something primal snapped in Peridot, and she lunged in front of Jasper. “Don’t you _fucking_ dare blame Rose! It was a car accident; she didn’t purposely drive her car into yours!”

Jasper roared and swung around, slugging her bandaged fist into the arm of the couch. Lapis sent a desperate pleading look at Peridot, silently begging for her to back down. Peridot’s heart thudded hard in her chest, but seeing Jasper’s power and Lapis’ look, she cowered back into her seat on the couch.

“I can’t do this alone. I just fucking can’t,” Jasper snarled hoarsely, sagging defeatedly. She side-eyed Lapis, tears welling in her eyes. 

“C’mon, let’s get you some rest,” Lapis suggested softly, gently grabbing Jasper’s hand and leading her down the hallway.

Peridot was left to her own, seething at Jasper’s ignorant comment. She got up and paced around the couch, eager to let off her steam in a less violent way. Digging her nails into the palms of her hands, she walked to kitchen and shakily poured herself a cup of water. She gulped it down and then sunk into the countertop.

A minute later, and Lapis’ one soft hand and the other bandaged one were on her shoulders. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Who is Malachite?” Peridot spontaneously asked, lifting her head out of her arms and sending a frown at Lapis.

“My ex.” Lapis poured a glass of water and grabbed a loaf of bread from the pantry.

“The one that took you to all the parties?”

“Yeah.” Lapis sighed as she made a ham and cheese sandwich. “I think I told you before, but she wasn’t a good person. She’s basically the reason why I’m so messed up.”

Peridot watched Lapis finish making the sandwich, before grabbing it and the cup of water, and walking out of the kitchen. “Why do you handle her shit? Jasper’s, I mean.”

“She’s my half-sister, and she used to be my friend. And her mum died. She needs me,” Lapis replied, smiling sadly.

“But she has the nerve to blame Rose!” Peridot snapped, crossing her arms.

“Yeah? Imagine what it’s like from her perspective.”

Peridot scowled. “That doesn’t excuse it! Rose would never purposely hurt someone, you should know that!”

“Look, I’m going to give Jasper food and water, but when I’m back we can talk about something else,” Lapis replied, sighing irritably.

“No need.” Peridot grabbed her bag and shrugged it to her shoulders. “I’m leaving.”

“You don’t have to go,” Lapis stated, frowning at Peridot’s decision.

“No, you’re right. Jasper needs you. See you at school Monday.” Before Lapis could reply, Peridot slammed the door shut after her.

She growled into her hands, rubbing away the excess tears. Rose didn’t deserve the blame. At all. The police investigation would show that.

Peridot made her way home, digging her fingernails into her wrist the entire time.


	22. The Breaking Point

The Breaking Point

Breaking was a habit of many things. Perhaps the end for some. A plate shattering against the floor. Water seeping into a phone. A tree snapping under the ferocious winds. Breaking under pressure was normal for things like those. And regrettably, for sentient beings too.

But humans were not meant to stay broken. They were supposed to heal, mend the cracks and wounds, and eventually in time, move on. Moving on should've been a gift.

But like someone refusing generosity, Rose refused to take the gift. Or perhaps, she simply _couldn't_ move on. Pearl understood that to an extent; if she lost Rose, she would've clung onto their memories for years.

However Rose was everything to her. Pink Diamond should've been nothing to Rose.

But death was death.

Death that Rose blamed herself for.

Pearl did everything she was capable of. Rose didn't deserve to be broken; she deserved to heal, and Pearl was determined to help her do that. On the Saturday a week after the ordeal that everyone tried to forget, Pearl took Rose out for ice-cream on the beach. She didn't personally buy any for herself, preferring a warm chamomile tea, but the weather was pleasant enough for ice-cream in autumn. It only temporarily cheered Rose up.

Sunday, Pearl abandoned her homework (with some hesitation) and spent the day watching Rose's favourite show at her place. It briefly brought a smile to her face, but her eyes betrayed that with prolonged grief and guilt.

During the school days, Pearl said her apologies when she left her friends to comfort Rose during recess and lunch. Rose _needed_ it. And to an extent, it worked. Each day, Rose's small smile would grow slightly wider.

Despite the nearing funeral date and the tedious but vital police investigation.

The police frequently asked Rose to come into the station. It was once, then twice, which grew into multiple times. Pearl waited every time in the guest room, patiently flicking through her phone for something to read to pass the time. And every time, Rose walked out wearier and more remorseful than before.

Pearl couldn't blame the police; they were making sure Rose was innocent, so there were no charges pressed for vehicular manslaughter. But the ongoing investigation was tearing Rose down every time she got up.

Pearl hated that. She didn't hate many things, rather choosing to suppress the strong feeling, but seeing Rose so ghastly and _broken_ every day made the unwelcome feeling stir inside her.

It was supposedly the last police interview for Rose on Wednesday after school, and Pearl's patience was wearing thin. The guest room becoming so familiar to her began to make her uncomfortable; a police station shouldn't be a regular sight for someone like herself.

The walls were stark white, much like the hospital, but the ground was laid with dull navy-grey carpet, and the seats were a boring black. The air was stagnant, having a weird aroma of dusty belongings and hand sanitiser. A very tall and somewhat stocky woman bent over the counter in the reception. She would often send glances at Pearl behind her large glasses, and although she was stoic and quiet, Pearl had appreciated her presence over the days.

Time was ticking considerably slow, evident by the dust hanging in the air, refusing to eventually fall to the floor. Pearl eyed a few particles floating in front of her, sighed, and fell into her hands gracelessly. The receptionist (though Pearl guessed she also participated in the more hands-on police work, if evident by her physique) raised an eyebrow, but remained quiet.

Pearl dug her phone out of her pocket. She'd read most of what she had wanted to read, and there wasn't much left. She'd asked Rose for suggestions, but she didn't know of anything to read either. Pearl exhaled again and opted to just stick her earphones in and listen to music instead. She stared at the album a tap away from playing; the same classical song taunting her like when she shared her first kiss with Rose. Pearl blushed at the memory.

She wasn't really paying attention to how many songs had passed, repeating a few of them, but after a considerable amount of time Rose finally stepped back into the guest room. She wore an odd expression, a mix of a relieved smile and the same remorse as per usual.

Pearl inwardly crumbled away, not with sadness, but with happiness that the tiny glimmer of hope for Rose was returning. She had kept quiet about it for a long time.

_It._

Ignoring her own emotional needs for the sake of others. Especially Rose. And most definitely it was tiring, exhausting, _draining_ , but she had to keep doing it. Well, to an extent. She was aware completely ignoring her health was only going to hurt Rose and her friends more, but all of them were more valuable than her. Their happiness brought her happiness.

But Pearl'll be damned if she wasn't tired of it all. So honestly, seeing that small relieved smile flash across Rose's face as she stepped out of the inner police station, did make Pearl crumble away, knowing she wouldn't have to exhaust herself anymore.

Pearl paused the song; _that_ same one that heralded their first kiss.

Rose stepped over to Pearl with finality, and wrapped her in an unexpected hug. Pearl shivered, noticing the eyes of other people on them. The receptionist lowered her gaze respectfully. Rose's arms around Pearl's midsection tightened, and an inaudible sob escaped her, before a dampness soaked into the shoulder of Pearl's cardigan.

"It's going to be over soon," Rose hoarsely spoke. When she pulled away, Pearl's shock dimmed at the whole reaction as she realised the tears were of gratefulness, alike to her own internal crumbling.

The receptionist left her desk and arrived by Rose's side with a box of tissues. She thrust the box at Rose. "Here."

"Thank you," Rose sniffed out as she rubbed a tissue over her eyes.

The receptionist towered over Pearl, and even Rose. _She_ definitely _does more hands on work_ , Pearl deducted.

"I'm guessing things went well," the receptionist concluded. Her not-quite-raspy voice wasn't booming, like Pearl had originally thought. It was surprisingly gentle.

Rose nodded. "It's almost over. Everything, I mean. Just the funeral left and… things will get better!"

The receptionist had an odd, crooked smile, but it seemed to comfort Rose.

"I suppose this is where I simultaneously introduce myself and say farewell. Probably should've said hi earlier," she mocked, but not unkindly, and twitched her head at Pearl. "I'm Alex."

"Pearl, and sorry I haven't said hi either…" Pearl rubbed her arm nervously.

"And I'm Rose, but you probably already knew that from records and such," Rose added, sniffling a little and binning the used tissues.

Alex gestured to the both of them. "Well, I hope you two will be okay. It was nice meeting you briefly."

"Thank you." Pearl wanted to add, ' _Thank you for your presence_ ,' but it seemed a bit too weird to say. Instead, she offered a grateful nod as she wrapped an arm around Rose's and guided them out the station for the final time.

Pearl breathed a heavy sigh of relief, inhaling the clean, salty air, and giving the station one last look. It would soon be over.

"Do you want to go back home?" Pearl asked, releasing her grip on Rose's arm and stretching. Her body had been aching, waiting for over half an hour in the station.

"Home hasn't been… amazing," Rose admitted, glancing towards the direction of the beach. "Dad's fine, if that's what you're thinking! It's just… it's a bit gloomy there at the moment. I was wondering if maybe we could go to yours?"

An all-too-familiar feeling of hot fear shot through Pearl's chest, and she bit her lip. "I-I… b-b-but my parents."

"Pearl, I don't want to stress you out, that is not my intention. We don't have to be _us_ around them, but we can't avoid your parents forever." At Pearl's horror, Rose quickly corrected herself. "I don't mean you have to come out! I just mean I want to meet your parents. As a friend."

"A-are you s-s-sure?" Pearl bit the inside of her mouth, despising the stutter. She shouldn't be afraid; Rose was right, she couldn't hide someone she talked about all the time from her parents.

"If you're okay with it." Rose sent her a smile, and suddenly the roles reversed, and it was Rose that was comforting and Pearl that needed the comfort. Pearl wasn't sure how that happened when only five minutes ago Rose was expressing both relief and grief.

"I… okay." Pearl inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. "Let's do it."

* * *

The door was taunting her, mocking her, _ridiculing_ her, and perhaps it had every right to. After all, the pit of her stomach was burning with anxiety over opening it. That was ridiculous.

Pearl held her arm close to her midsection, trying to squeeze the anxiety out of her stomach. It felt like suffocation, but then Rose's arm was over hers, if only briefly for fear of open windows. Her skin against her own radiated tranquility and Pearl felt her anxiety ease.

Her parents weren't going to know about her sexuality. They weren't going to kick her out. They weren't going to think they raised a monster.

Pearl breathed deeply. She was doing that a lot today.

Urging the flair of drama away, she opened the door with fake confidence and put on her best 'everything is normal' persona. Her father was no where to be seen, probably at work, but her mother was leaning over the kitchen counter with a mug of something in her hand. It seemed she was reading something on her phone, but she looked up the second the door closed.

"Welcome home, Pearl," her mother greeted before glancing up, blinking twice and smiling wide. "Is this Rose? I was wondering if we'd ever get to meet her."

Pearl blushed unintentionally, but that was probably always the case. "Yes!"

Rose brushed her arm conceitedly against Pearl's back before stepping slightly in front of her. "Hi! I am indeed Rose. Sorry that you've only known me through what Pearl says. It was rude of me to not introduce myself sooner!"

"No, that's quite alright! I'm Iva," Pearl's mother happily countered with a chuckle, plopping her phone face-first on the counter and strolling closer to the pair. "I'm just glad I've finally met you! We we're starting to suspect you were imaginary."

"Oh?" Rose raised an inquisitive eyebrow at Pearl. "You never told me that Pearl."

"Of course it was silly to think that, but maybe Pearl was sneaking off to see boys and the sort, you know?" her mother teased, enjoying revealing the information Pearl veiled.

Her blush deepened. "Okay, you can stop embarrassing me Mum."

"Sorry! You girls find a seat and I'll make some tea - do you like tea, Rose?"

"Normal tea's good!"

As Pearl's mother sauntered back into the kitchen, Rose bent down to Pearl's level. "You never told me you were sneaking off to see boys either."

Pearl elbowed Rose away. "Of course not! Now behave, you have a mother to impress."

"I think she already likes me," Rose observed, humming. "Are you sure these are the same parents you've been anxious over for weeks?"

Pearl's confidence cracked a little. "Y-yes, I'm just… going with the flow. But please, let's find a seat."

Without touching her, Pearl guided Rose to the couch, making sure there was enough visible space between them. Anxiety was twisting inside Pearl; one little thing between her and Rose could potentially set off her parents' conspiracies. She wasn't going to take any chances.

Her mother stepped in front of the white couch they shared and placed the two mugs of tea on the coffee table, before sinking into the non-matching recliner.

"So, Rose, care to tell me about yourself?" she asked, holding her colder mug to her chest.

"Oh! Well, there isn't much to say," Rose admitted, rubbing a hand over her neck. "But, uh, I share most classes with Pearl, so we do a few similar things."

Iva seemed happy with that answer, and chatted with Rose about her hair colour, her aspirations, and how her and Pearl met. In turn, Rose asked Pearl's mother about all sorts of things too, and Pearl was amazed to see that the two of them were having a genuine conversation, unalike to all the awkward conversations she had with other parents.

It was strange. Pearl felt her anxiety loosen, but still something felt off about the whole situation. It felt wrong to introduce Rose to her parents as merely a friend; it was lying, but Pearl wouldn't dare utter the truth.

With narrowed eyes, Pearl watched the both of them scrutinise each other. Or at least, she imagined them doing so.

"Oh, it seems I'm out of tea," Iva distractedly mumbled to herself, cocking her head slightly to the left, her ginger hair falling onto her shoulder. "Would you girls like some more?"

"I'm fine, thanks Mum," Pearl waved off, taking the final sip of her tea and handing the mug to her mother. Rose did the same.

When Pearl's mother left to the kitchen, Rose asked, "So where's your room?"

Pearl wasn't sure if there was a hidden message in her question. She quietly beckoned Rose down the hallway to her bedroom, hastily closing the door behind her. Falling down onto the floor and banging her head against the door, she sighed.

Rose plonked down on the floor in front of her, her gaze aloof. "Long day."

"Long day," Pearl echoed, puffing out a short breath.

After a few long seconds of silence, Pearl asked, "So were you sizing her up, or was that just my imagination?"

"You mean, was I judging her character?" Rose drew circles in the carpet with a finger, and Pearl scrunched up her nose, imaging the feeling on her own fingertips. "You know I see the good in everyone, and I like your mother."

Pearl puffed again. "I suppose you haven't seen her at her worst. But… she isn't a bad person. I just think she doesn't understand _things_ , along with my father. So it's good you like her."

"I wish I had met her sooner, then maybe you wouldn't have been so anxious. Like, met before we started dating."

Pearl couldn't help a snort, which turned into a few wheezy laughs. "Oh, if I introduced you to her before we started dating, it would've been the most obvious display of homosexuality. Then I would've been truly out."

Rose smiled at that. "I'm glad we're here. It's a nice change of pace."

Pearl thought back to the school hallways, the police station, the hospital, and could see how her home would be a nice change of pace. But it still terrified her, the presence of both Rose and her parents in the same vicinity. Rose was her secret from them, and now she felt exposed.

"I can see why you think that."

"Thank you Pearl, for allowing me to come here. I know you're still very anxious about us and your parents, and yet you still braved it for me." Rose smiled whole-heartedly. "I owe you big time."

"I'll keep that in mind," Pearl absentmindedly answered as she strained to hear any foot steps coming down the hallway. When all she heard was the distant television and cluttering sounds from the kitchen, she crawled closer to Rose, snuggling into her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Rose ran a hand through Pearl's hair, and the latter imagined Rose wearing a bemused smile. "Why do you ask?"

"I just want to know if you're okay, after everything that's happened. I want things to be better for you."

Rose sighed thoughtfully. "Yeah. I'm okay. Just a funeral to pull through, and we'll be able to leave this all behind."

"How was the investigation?" At how ignorant the question sounded, Pearl quickly corrected herself. "I m-m-mean, I know you d-didn't like it! I meant the end result. What did the police say?"

"Pearl, it's okay. I understand. They had known for a while, but for legal reasons and to be 100% certain they prolonged the verdict. But yeah, innocent, no charges pressed."

"Thank goodness," Pearl hummed. "So, is there anything you'd like to do for the rest of the afternoon? Maybe we can make this day a little better."

"Let's… let's go for a walk. Get a breath of fresh air."

* * *

Sometimes Pearl wished Rose didn't always wear make-up. It wasn't that it was bad, or unattractive, it was just so obvious when they kissed.

On their walk through the quiet, cool forest, they found a little space where they could be themselves without onlooking parents. After the disaster of the day, it was nice to just be them, together, without any worries. A place and time to forget about everything that was going on.

As they made their way out of the forest, Pearl frantically scrubbed at her mouth with her cardigan sleeve. She hoped lipstick didn't stain. Rose merely laughed at it all, before giving a light peck on Pearl's nose and parting ways.

Pearl hoped there wasn't any lipstick on her nose either.

After that, she scrambled back home, still frantically cleaning her face with her cardigan sleeve. She opened the front door quickly, wanting to slink off to her room, but her mother greeted her loudly, causing a squeak to seep out her chest.

"It was lovely to meet Rose," Iva commented, her words genuine but her smile feeling forced. Pearl frowned at it.

"I'm glad you like her."

"Yes, your mother told me all about her," Pearl's father added, startling Pearl at the sudden appearance of him. Something felt off. Both of them had neutral set expressions, their arms crossed over their chest in a thoughtful matter.

Pearl fought the urge to wipe at her mouth again; they couldn't possibly know.

"Honey, what happened to your other friends? Peridot was such a lovely girl, and now all you see is this Rose," her mother questioned.

Pearl stifled a laugh. _Peridot_ , a _lovely_ girl? She knew her parents were lying through their teeth, even though Peridot had definitely improved considerably over time. But it seemed they were worried about her overall friendships, which eased Pearl's anxiety.

"What do you mean 'what happened to my other friends'? I saw Peridot a few weeks ago. And I've been seeing all of them outside of school too."

Her parents sent each other a conspicuous look. Her mother admitted, "We are worried, we thought something happened between you and your other friends."

Her father added on, "All we hear about is Rose, and we never saw her until today. You always brought your friends home; Peridot, Amethyst, Garnet. Why didn't you bring Rose here?"

"No reason," Pearl quickly replied, and went to duck away from her parents, but they merely moved in front of her again.

"Pearl, please, we're worried about you. Are you and Rose doing something bad?"

"I just didn't bring her home, okay? Maybe I didn't want to be home anymore."

Shock plastered on her mother's face. "What's wrong with being here?"

"Nothing! I just… ugh." Pearl groaned, massaging her temple. "Rose and I spend most of our time outside. That's it. Now _please_ let me pass."

Hesitantly, her parents parted. Lying made her nerves go cold, but Pearl couldn't risk the alternative.

"Pearl, we are not your enemies," her mother stated before Pearl closed the door to her room.

* * *

Pearl sat on the white leather couch, sneering at the stains, and tapped away at her phone. Distractions were heavily needed. But Rose wasn't answering any of her texts. Pearl couldn't blame her; both of them needed some time to gain their thoughts.

Pearl leant back into the couch, hanging her head off the back of it and sighing.

She'd prefer to look away from her body. Black _really_ didn't suit her. Her stomach sunk as she realised it would look worse on Rose. She shivered, remembering the ghastly, broken Rose from days ago.

It was time for the final ordeal. The only way they could move on.

The couch cushion next to her sunk, and Pearl cocked her head slightly. Her mother held her hands in her lap, and was giving Pearl a worrisome smile.

"You feeling alright hun?" she asked, rubbing Pearl's shoulder gently. Pearl stifled the urge to shrug it off.

"Not really."

"You don't have to go if you don't want to."

"I do want to."

Iva bit her lip. "Well, this is probably the stupidest thing to say concerning the situation, but you're looking pretty sad."

Pearl scoffed. "Am I not supposed to be?"

"You are! I just… want you to be happy. Maybe it'll be best to stay home."

Pearl went to stand, cringing at the way her black pants constricted her legs. She glared at the space to the right of her mother. "I am not abandoning Rose. A friend wouldn't do that."

"I… I'm sorry, you're right. It wouldn't be right to do that." Iva stood with Pearl, tapping her foot to an imaginary beat. Pearl recognised this as her mother debating internally with herself. Her mother cleared her throat. "But are you doing this _just_ for Rose?"

That was a good question, and Pearl wasn't sure how to answer it. She spluttered, her mouth opening and closing every time she thought she had an answer. She pursed her lips indecisively.

"I don't know."

"Maybe it'll be better to stay home then, please," her mother begged, and Pearl scowled.

"Why are you trying to make me stay home? You just said it'd be a bad idea two seconds ago!"

"I think you're being manipulated by your friend."

Pearl froze. A cold feeling ran through her body, making her body go numb and fire hot at the same time. "Do not say that about Rose."

"And you're defending her." Her mother's smile was pitiful, and it made Pearl boil.

"You don't understand! There's nothing wrong with Rose!" she snapped, grabbing her handful of things and storming to the front door.

"Then what's going on?" Her mother bound to her side, her expression a mix of desperation, confusion, and anger. "Rose is different, for some reason or other, and we want to know because we're worried about you!"

"There's nothing wrong with Rose," Pearl repeated, colder this time as she sent Rose a desperate text. "I'm happy with her; why can't you be happy for me?"

Iva's face fell. "You're happy… _with_ her?"

_Shoot._

The cold feeling electrocuted Pearl's body again, sending waves of unpleasant shivers through her back and limbs. She let her emotions get out of control—everything was ruined—her mother was going to _hate_ her—

"I don't understand," her mother murmured, frowning. She looked torn between taking a step back and comforting her daughter. A car horn beeped twice outside, and Pearl's grip on her phone tighten.

"I have to go," Pearl announced quietly, shaking with anxiety. She couldn't do this today. Not today. Not before the funeral. She made her way past her mother, opening the front door.

"Wait, Pearl! I want to understand, please!" her mother's begging returned.

"Rose needs a friend; needs me! Why can't you understand that?" Anger bubbled in Pearl. Why did her parents have to be so _goddamn_ nosy? Why did they have to make terrible assumptions, and tear apart her defences until they got every secret and weakness? They didn't need to know anything about her. At least that way, they wouldn't have to pretend to love her for her 'sins'.

Pearl grit her teeth. She knew she was winding herself up but she wasn't going to have her rights to Rose stripped away because her parents thought she was manipulative.

"Surely she has other friends. Why do _you_ have to go?" Iva pried, desperate for answers.

Pearl's brain shut down, logic and reason thrown out the window.

"Because I love her!" she cried out and slammed the door behind her. Heart thumping in her ears, adrenaline coursing through her veins, she bolted to the car, crushing her phone and belongings in her hand on the way.

With her free hand, she swung the back door open and crumpled into the seat.

"Pearl? Pearl, are you okay!?" Rose hurriedly asked from the passenger seat. When she received no answer, she leapt out the car and rushed over to where Pearl left her door open, uncertainly placing her hands on Pearl's shoulder. "Hey, is everything okay? What happened?"

"Can we just go?" Pearl asked through her fingers covering her face.

Rose made an concerned noise and ran to the other back seat door, sliding into the middle seat next to Pearl.

"Please?" Pearl pleaded, raising her head to briefly meet Rose's eyes. She felt thick tears welling in her eyes and blinked back into the safety of her palms.

"Okay," Sal calmly replied, kickstarting the car alive.

Rose reached over Pearl's sagged body and brought the seatbelt over her, plugging it in. She wrapped her arm around Pearl's midsection and brought her to her chest, humming softly.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Rose asked, tracing circles into Pearl's tummy over her morbid black blouse.

Pearl's breathing was unsteady, hiccuping at intervals, and each breath short lived. But curling into Rose's hold, warmth and love and certainty surrounding her, was beginning to calm her haywire brain. She swallowed, and unable to squeak out an explanation, she swallowed again.

"I-I f-f-fucked up."

Rose blinked in surprise at the unnatural curse. "Do you want to elaborate?"

Pearl nodded, but didn't say anything for a solid minute. Her thoughts were wild, anxiety plaguing her mind, so many _what if_ s and doubts. She wiped the back of her hand over her eyes. Her hand came back soaked. From anger to sadness was the most jarring mood swing.

_How_ _could I have done that?_

Pearl growled inwardly. She didn't have to utter a single word about her and Rose, she should've walked through her mother and explained at a better time. But emotions were unruly, and she could not change the past.

"I a-accidentally told her. M-M-Mum knows. About us." Pearl swallowed for the third time. "She wouldn't s-s-stop being so n-nosy about you! Sh-she kept m-m-making accusations a-and—and—"

"Shh, it's okay," Rose soothed, running her free hand through Pearl's hair, gently stroking her scalp and parting strands of her hair. "It's okay. Take it slow, we have plenty of time."

"I really t-told her." Pearl broke into a sob and grabbed at Rose's shirt; she squeezed her eyes shut to keep the black out, where ironically, there was only black. "It's not okay! They're g-going to k-k-kick me out! Disown me!"

"Stop," Rose ordered, squeezing Pearl's midsection tighter, comfortingly. "Those thoughts won't do any good. Whatever happens, I'll be there with you." She pressed a kiss to where Pearl's hair met her forehead. "I promise."

Pearl took in a few steady breaths. "I can't s-stop thinking like that. I r-really stuffed things up. I wasn't m-m-meant to tell her! I was angry, she wouldn't r-r-respect me, or you! And it just—just s-slipped out!"

"You're okay now, you're not there, you're here with me," Rose soothed.

"I don't know what t-to do."

"Pearl, steady yourself. Take in deep breaths. Count the breaths. Realise you can deal with that in the future."

Pearl listened to Rose's voice. She obeyed. Four seconds breathe in. Two seconds held breath. Six seconds breathe out. Repeat.

"I'm scared Rose," she admitted after a minute of the patterned breathing.

"You have every right to be, but…" Rose's body tensed. "We have a funeral first."

Right. The funeral. Pearl was already a mess before it even started.

"I'm so so sorry," Pearl hiccupped into Rose's chest.

"You don't have to be sorry for anything, you've done nothing wrong."

"I've ruined your day."

"Pearl, we're going to a funeral. My day wasn't going to be great anyway."

Somehow, that brought a small smile to Pearl's face, despite the morbid subject.

"Thank you for being the best person imaginable," Pearl muttered as she snuggled deeper into Rose. "I find it hard to imagine you're tolerating me, but here you are."

"Of course I tolerate you, I love you."

Pearl hummed. "I love you too."

If it weren't for the short ride, or the looming fear for the future, Pearl probably would've dozed off. Rose was a rather comfortable pillow. She breathed in her scent and warded off her anxiety driven daydreams. Instead, she imagined sharing a home with Rose. It could've been a university dorm, or their own house. Pearl didn't care; any world where Rose was her home was a good one.

When they arrived at the dreadful funeral home, Pearl felt Rose pull out her phone and type on it. She yawned slightly, then braced herself for the funeral. But when she checked the time, her face fell.

"We're early?" she queried, stuffing her own phone back into her pocket.

"I wanted to clear my mind before it," Rose answered, still tapping away at her phone. "I want to spend time with you and someone else."

Pearl raised an eyebrow, protectively clutching Rose's shirt. "Someone else?"

"You remember Greg, right?"

Pearl narrowed her eyes. "Greg, the musician. That's the someone else."

"He's been a good friend to me," Rose explained as she ran her fingers through Pearl's hair, still. "Don't think of him as someone taking my time, it's just nice to get to know other people. And he's really nice. I think you two could get along well."

Pearl hummed, choosing not to agree or disagree. Though she didn't really like Greg, from what little time she knew him, if he was making Rose happy then she couldn't be mad. It was true that she'd rather be Rose's only source of happiness, but that wasn't possible. And it was also selfish, which Pearl despised.

Even though Pearl was happy snuggling with Rose for another few hours, they had matters to attend to. And as much as Pearl was trying to be confident, all she could think of was going back home.

She slinked out of the car, Rose coming behind her and squeezing her hand comfortingly. Sal stayed behind, waiting in the car until the time came to enter the funeral home. She sent a brief look at him and noticed the dents in the hood of the car, a shiver of goosebumps running along her skin. She couldn't imagine how Rose and Sal coped so well driving in the car again, especially Rose. If she was in a car accident… Pearl shook her head. No time for those thoughts.

The pair walked for a few minutes in silence before they reached the nearby park. It was small, with a few large trees scattered about, and a light breeze wafted through the branches. Pearl saw the familiar untamed mane of brown and fought the urge to scowl. Now wasn't the time for jealousy.

Greg perked up upon seeing Rose. He wore ripped denim jeans and a black shirt; Pearl supposed he wasn't attending the funeral.

"Hey Rose! Pearl!" he called out, waving a hand as he jogged over to them. He winced as he gazed over their attires; black suited him, but not them.

Before Pearl could think, she spluttered, "You remember my name?"

"Of course I do! You guys were the best audience I had in a long time." Greg grinned proudly. "And Rose talks about you a lot."

Pearl felt heat rise to her cheeks and felt the need to bury her face into Rose's shoulder. She cleared her throat. "Does he know about…?"

"Hmm?" Rose startled. "Oh, yes! I kinda had to when he asked me on a date."

Pearl squinted her eyes at Greg upon hearing the last sentence, but he laughed it off awkwardly. "Yeah… but we're good Pearl, right?"

"… We're good." For extra emphasis, this time she did lean into Rose's shoulder (but not before making sure there weren't any curious onlookers).

Pearl zoned out after that, opting to gently lie against Rose as the three of them sat around the base of a tree. She _really_ wanted to take a nap, despite the bad daydreams seeping in. Rose's voice rumbled through her body, muffled by Pearl's doziness and her ear squashed against her skin. It was nonetheless calming, and at that time, Pearl really didn't want to care about whatever she was talking to Greg about.

He knew of their relationship, and he didn't seem to be the asshole-ish type, so Pearl urged her jealousy away. She let the feeling of security ease her into a light doze as she leant against Rose's body.

She stirred sometime later when Rose giggled and rocked her awake.

"Hey sleepyhead, it's time," she teased, but with the absence of joy.

Pearl rubbed a hand over her eye and let out a quiet yawn. "Did I fall asleep?"

"Yeah. Never imagined you the type to fall asleep in a public park."

Pearl blushed and stood up, stretching her body in the process. "It's time…?"

"For the funeral."

Pearl blinked, remembering the not-so-good day. With some hesitation, she locked her hand with Rose's and gave a small squeeze. "We can get through this."

Rose let out a puff of air and smiled tensely. Pearl glanced around her surroundings, frowning a little.

"Where's Greg?"

"He's off to work, he left a while ago but I didn't want to wake you before I had to, so I let you nap."

Pearl's blush deepened. "Oh, thanks, but you could've woken me if you wanted company."

"That's okay. Let's just get this funeral over and done with." Rose took in a deep breath. "Then everything can go back to normal."

Pearl didn't let go of Rose's hand until they arrived back at the broken car. Sal leant against the driver's door, offering a forced smile when Rose returned. There was a line of people dressed in black streaming into the funeral home by the time the pair returned, and out of anxiety-driven fear, Pearl let go of Rose's hand.

The three of them silently walked through the gates, the surrounding graves suffocating them in gloominess.

Pearl _really_ disliked the black dress on Rose.

There was a crowd outside the front doors of the funeral home, a flock of black that burnt at Pearl's eyes. Amongst the people, a tuft of blonde hair rested against the body of someone with deep blue hair. Rose seemed to notice at the same time too, perking up ever-so-slightly.

Rose and Pearl silently agreed on walking over to Peridot and Lapis, brushing up against each other as they passed through the crowd.

"Excuse me," Pearl quietly stated, urging the tall person in front of them aside. She narrowed her eyes at their unkempt blonde hair; they could at least take care of their self if they were attending a funeral.

The person went to move out of the way, until their amber eyes caught Pearl's, and dread solidified in her stomach.

"You," Jasper spat, then raised her voice to a roar as she glared at Rose. "You! What are you doing here!?"

"We are here to pay our respects," Rose answered, her voice unwavering, but Pearl could see the fear in her expression.

"You don't get to do that."

"Jasper, what are you doing?" Lapis hurriedly asked as she grabbed Jasper's arm with her good hand. "Pearl? Rose?"

"Let go of me," Jasper snarled, ripping her arm out of Lapis' grip.

"You're making a show."

"I don't care! She's the murderer of my mother and she's not coming in!"

"She has the right to stay here," Peridot hissed, poking into view.

"You don't get a say in that," Jasper snapped back.

Pearl protectively clung onto Rose's arm, trembling at the viciousness of Jasper's words. She felt Rose shake too. People were starting to part away from the three of them, their eyes curious, judging, afraid.

Rose flinched back, but stood her ground. "Let me stay here, Jasper. I'm sorry that what happened happened, but I can't do anything about it. All we can do is move on."

"Move on? Move on!? Are you fucking serious?" Jasper growled, balling her bandaged hands into fists. "My mum is dead, how the fuck do you move on from that!? Especially when her killer comes to her funeral!"

"Jasper, that's enough!" both Pearl and Lapis ordered. Pearl stood in front of Rose, blocking her from harm, whilst Lapis grabbed Jasper's arm again, with the help of Peridot.

Jasper growled, baring her teeth. She didn't shake off Lapis, but her voice lowered. "Get out."

"Don't do this," Rose pleaded, leaning forward into Pearl's back.

"Get out! After what you did to my mother, you don't deserve to be here!"

Rose shrunk back, and Pearl shivered, noticing the gazes of onlookers bore into both her and Rose. She swallowed, tried to say something, but nothing came out of her choked throat. Pearl squeezed her hand behind her back, offering comfort.

Still nothing came out.

When Rose took a few steps back, which turned into running away, Pearl went to run after her, but caught the gleam in Jasper's eyes before she whirled around.

And Pearl understood. Rose wasn't the only broken one.

But Rose was the one she loved, so she ran after her, back to the car, back to where father was holding daughter. She heard desperate sobs, and saw big hands running softly through Rose's curls, and she didn't know what to do other than lean against the car next to Rose. After a moment, Rose's arms enveloped Pearl.

"What are we going to do?" Pearl asked softly.

Rose sniffed and held Pearl closer. "All we can do. Go home."

Fear shot through Pearl's chest. "I… I can't."

"You can come home with me."

"Are you suggesting I just leave my parents for the night?"

"Text them you're staying at mine for the night, and you'll talk to them tomorrow."

"What about clothes? And my toothbrush? And—"

"Pearl. It's okay." Rose moved away from her counterpart and sent her a soft smile, wet with tears. Pearl gently rubbed a stray tear off her cheek. "Please, will you stay the night with me? We'll be okay."

Pearl thought of her parents, fuming over their sinful child, and resolve stirred in her. Nodding, she took out her phone and sent a stubborn text to her mother. Her hands shook as she typed, afraid of the certain texts she'd receive back from her mother, but she braved on. It was the best solution, after all. People always say 'sleep on it'.

Pearl pocketed her phone and sighed as she opened the back car door, allowing Rose in first and following after her. This time, Rose snuggled into her, her thick pink hair covering Pearl's shoulders.

Pearl tucked a few stands of hair behind Rose's ear, grooming her hair fondly.

"Are you okay?"

"No," Rose immediately replied. "But we'll get better."

Pearl hummed. "We always do."


	23. Tunnel Vision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: self-harm

Tunnel Vision

Lapis rested her broken wrist on her guitar, urging the craving to flex her fingers away. It had been two weeks since her left arm had first been in the suffocating cast, and even though she knew many more weeks would come before she got her arm back, she was sick of having it there.

It had only been two days since the funeral.

It felt strangely… blank to think about it. There was no swell of emotion at the fresh memory of it, other than the guilt in the pit of her stomach. Rose had a right to stay, but she supposed Jasper had as much right to be mad. Nonetheless, the guilt lined her stomach with foul acid, and she felt a little better recalling that she had lectured Jasper like a parent to a toddler after the funeral.

The funeral passed rather quickly, the couple of hours of it being a blur to Lapis' memory. She remembered her good hand in her mother's hand, and her bad hand under Peridot's. Honestly, it was a little scary how such an emotional event didn't rile up many feelings in her, but she couldn't change the facts.

Her mother had cried silently on Daisy's shoulder as she squeezed Lapis' hand.

Lapis flexed her right hand fingers over the guitar strings. She badly wanted to play a song, strum her fingers to create _some_ sort of emotion, anything. Her left fingers twitched on the guitar neck; alas, too incapacitated to play.

A sigh escaped her that sounded more like a groan.

"You alright Lazuli?"

"Yeah, fine. Just wish I could play," she answered, flicking a glance at Peridot lying on the floor with her legs in the air, scribbling something in an exercise book. Her eyes trailed over to where Pearl was lying in the exact same position, doing the exact same work. "Sorry that we can't practise."

"That's quite alright Lapis," Pearl hummed, then looked at Peridot's book with a frown. "Are you sure that's the right equation?"

"Of course I'm sure."

"Well, we've got different equations."

"I _know_ I'm right, Pearl."

Pearl rolled her eyes amusedly. "Well, what about…"

At that point Lapis drowned out the nerdy chatter on her bedroom floor. With her own eye roll, she plucked the strings on her guitar with her good hand. It had been so long since she'd leisurely played for reasons other than school, longer than she had her cast. She missed it, but there wasn't much she could do. Another sigh-groan bubbled in the back of her throat.

"Lapis?"

She snapped to consciousness, tearing her gaze away from her guitar. Pearl was staring at her with a mix of concern and… something else. If an expression for sympathetic hope existed, Lapis placed it as that.

"May I look at your guitar?"

Lapis shrugged, inching over from the middle of her bed. She outstretched her guitar in her right hand. "Knock yourself out."

Pearl closed her notebook and sat beside Lapis on the bed, cradling the guitar in her lap. Peridot closed hers too and watched the both of them with wide, interested eyes from the carpeted floor.

"I haven't had much experience with guitars before, but my father used to play," Pearl informed, plucking a few strings like Lapis had. Her eyes froze for a brief moment, but then she glanced up at Lapis with a smile. "Maybe you could teach me a few chords?"

"Sure."

After Lapis had come out of the hospital two weeks ago, she quickly took Pearl up for her invitation to play music together. Unfortunately she realised Pearl hadn't had available time, spending most of her time with Rose to cheer her up, and what other tidbits of time she had, she studied. Despite being so close after the funeral date, it was the first time that Pearl was free over the past two weeks.

As Lapis showed Pearl where to place her fingers and strum, she thought about what it would've been like to perform not only with Pearl, but with Amethyst and Garnet too. She imagined that if Peridot had a inkling of knowledge on music, she'd remix whatever the four of them made. The thought brought a conceited snort and a smile to her face.

Herself on the acoustics, Pearl singing, Amethyst on the drums, Garnet with an electric or bass guitar, and Peridot remixing. Maybe even Greg with his electric guitar and Rose pairing with Pearl so they could sing sappy love songs to each other.

Lapis wanted to cringe at that, but found it strangely sweet.

However she pictured herself and Peridot in that scenario and couldn't quieten her snorts.

"What?" Pearl asked with an odd frown.

"No, no, you've done nothing wrong. I just thought of something funny," Lapis tried to convince, shooting a glance at Peridot. She too frowned at Lapis' grin.

"What's so funny?" she asked cautiously, raising herself from a lying position to cross her legs under her.

"Oh, y'know, singing sappy ballads to each other."

Peridot's face scrunched up. "And _why_ were you thinking about that?"

"I was thinking about Pearl and Rose singing love songs to each other, dancing in the moonlight, and I wondered what it would be like if that was us." Lapis shrugged but still donned the cheeky grin. "It was a funny thought, now let's move on."

Pearl's face had reddened over the minute, but she wore a somewhat cocky smile. "You know, I should consult you for future date ideas."

Lapis raised an eyebrow. "That was literally just the sappiest thing I could think of, and everyone knows you're as sappy as a tree."

"Hey! Sappy isn't bad," Pearl snapped in her defence, face glowing brighter.

As Lapis was about to joke about that, Peridot stepped in. "I agree with Pearl. Sappy can be… pleasing."

Lapis' eyebrow was now on the verge of shooting off her face. "You? Liking sappy moments?"

"What can I say, a moonlit date would be _nice_ ," Peridot retorted, donning an embarrassed frown.

"We already had one. I shoved a donut in your face." Lapis shook her head, smiling at the two dorks she was surrounded by. "You two are more similar than I thought."

Pearl smiled at that and plucked the strings of Lapis' guitar, bringing the attention back to the instrument. "So when did you learn to play?"

"Mum and Dad encouraged me to take lessons when I was about 10. I'm surprised it wasn't a hobby that faded in time." Lapis trailed her eyes from Pearl's fingers playing with the strings to her eyes. "Do you play anything?"

"No, but I've wondered about learning to play the violin. It's just that I've already got so many hobbies that it'd be hard to keep up with them all!"

Lapis pictured Pearl with a violin held under her chin. "You'd look good with a violin."

"Ahem?" Peridot awkwardly coughed, squinting at Lapis. "Are you flirting?"

"Oh my god. Oh my _god_ , you're jealous because I complimented Pearl." Lapis burst out snort-laughing and patted the spot on the bed beside her. "C'mere you dork."

Peridot made a flustered sound and crawled onto the bed next to Lapis, curling into her side.

"I was joking," she grumbled.

Lapis ruffled her hair and turned to Pearl. She sucked in a quick breath and pushed the thought of Jasper out of her mind. "So, um, this has been on my mind since the funeral. How were you and Rose afterwards?"

Pearl dropped the guitar in her lap. With her hands free, she nervously threaded them together and gazed at the floor.

"Oh, how do I say this… We weren't bad nor good. Rose was really upset about the whole thing but she was putting on her brave face." Pearl slowly smiled, lifting her gaze to her friends. "For me."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Peridot murmured from Lapis' lap, eyeing her concernedly.

"I had wanted to, with you," Pearl admitted, then glanced at Lapis. "But I trust you too Lapis."

Lapis' proud grin had fallen to one like Pearl's unexplainable smile from before. "We're here for you if you need to talk."

* * *

The drive home was comfortably quiet. _Uncharacteristically_ comfortably quiet. Pink hair enveloped her shoulders, some patches of her skin and clothes dotted with tears from yesterday. She had a soon-to-be future of anxious outcomes that should've been tearing at her fear-driven heart, but alas, it was an odd sensation of serenity, watching the streets whizz by through the window over Rose's shoulder, her ragged breathing settling on her shoulder.

Perhaps the calm before the storm, though Pearl couldn't see the correlation between her parents and a destructive storm. Her parents were unpredictable, yes, but they never lashed out, at least not violently. Maybe it was because she was a good daughter, but she supposed that didn't stand now.

The night had gone by slowly; Pearl was sure if it weren't for Rose's comforting and loving embrace the entire time, she would've been plagued by insomnia. Sal was so kind to let her stay the night unwarranted, evening going to lengths to drive her back home now. She wished she could trust her parents to be as caring as Sal; several messages left overnight said that maybe they did. It all contradicted; confusion and anxiety flooded Pearl. She had no idea what to feel.

Rose didn't stir on her shoulder. Pearl wondered whether she was asleep or merely resting and daydreaming. She ran her thin, bony hand through Rose's pink dyed locks, noticing her natural light red poking through at the roots.

_How does she keep it dyed all the time?_ she thought curiously. _I wonder what she looks like with her natural colour; no doubt beautiful._

Her own comment brought a small smile to her face as Rose made a very quiet sound and rolled around slightly on Pearl's shoulder.

It was nice to forget about her impending doom for a few moments just to nestle into Rose and realise that after two months, they really _were_ together. Years of what Pearl thought was hopeless crushing and awkward conversations blossomed into what they had, and despite all the other mind-boggling stuff that had happened over the past fortnight, that realisation took the cake.

She fell in love with a silly two-year long crush, and Rose loved her back just as much.

Her eyes glistened over, a few stray tears making tiny rivers down her cheeks, and for the first time in two weeks, her tears were of joy.

Pearl didn't know if Rose could hear her, but that didn't matter.

"I love you so much," she whispered into her hair, cradling her girlfriend closer. _Girlfriend_. Still a term she couldn't wrap her head around; how it could exist with a purpose in her vocabulary.

"I love you too baby," Rose mumbled back, which shocked Pearl into flustering and blushing a deep red.

"O-oh, you heard me? Uh, I wasn't sure if you would! Heh." Pearl hid her blush into Rose's hair. She tested Rose's new pet name, frowning a little. "B-baby? I'm not sure I like that. Being compared to an ugly, screaming, small human isn't that flattering."

Rose laughed heartily at that, which surprised her, coming from the… grave situation they were at yesterday.

"Oh my god, only you would say something like that. And babies aren't that bad! All human life is amazing and precious, and that includes the annoying screaming ones."

Pearl pondered that for a moment. "No, babies definitely aren't amazing. Anything that screams for days on end is in my bad books."

"Hmm. Well, if you don't like being compared to a baby, what pet names would you prefer?"

"Oh, uh, I don't know?" Her blush didn't seem to want to leave. She leant out of Rose's hair and rested her head on the back of the seat. "I just like to be called yours."

Rose hummed again, but before she could talk, Pearl glimpsed her street sign. Her heart vaulted into her throat.

"We're here."

Rose caught her worried gaze and smiled comfortingly, carefully rising from Pearl's shoulder and gently cupping her chin.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" she asked, tracing tiny circles into Pearl's jaw with her thumb.

Pearl shivered at the touch and shook her head. "N-no. I need to do this on my own. Plus, um, I'm sure you have stuff to think about with your dad…"

Rose smiled again, and as the car pulled up into the driveway, she gave a peck on Pearl's lips.

"Okay, but if anything goes bad or if you need to get out, I'm here for you."

Pearl nodded and gently pried herself away from Rose, slinking out of the car as a terrified cat might. She took shaky steps towards the front door, and the car didn't back out of her driveway until her hand was on the handle.

She was alone.

Her hand nervously twitched the doorknob, and she uncertainly opened the door slowly. When she peeked through the gap, two sets of eyes were on her.

Both looked worrisome.

"Pearl!" her mother cried out, jolting from her seated position on the white leather couch. She ran over to the front door, briefly giving Pearl a hug before stepping a metre away. "Pearl, we were so worried about you! You didn't come home last night!"

"You weren't answering any of our texts!" her father exclaimed, following after Iva and standing behind her with a hand on her shoulder.

"No, I wasn't. Sorry," Pearl affirmed, the only words that could make it past her tight throat. Her heart thudded hard in her chest at the increasingly worried expressions.

Silence spread between the three of them, before Pearl's mother finally spoke up.

"… How was the funeral?"

"It was, uh…" Pearl diverted her gaze to the hallway leading to her bedroom. Suffocation. She was suffocating. She needed to leave and hide away for hours. Her throat closed over more. "Bad."

"Honey, I told you it wouldn't be a good idea to go," her mother chastised, sending a small comforting smile.

The silence fell again, like it was solidifying a wall between Pearl and her parents. They weren't asking about not coming home, about her outburst, about _Rose_ , and Pearl wasn't sure whether she appreciated or despised that.

"I'm going to my bedroom," Pearl announced before she felt like she'd fall over under the pressure of her parents.

"Wait." Her father cleared his throat. "I think we need to talk."

Pearl's body froze. Goosebumps ran over her skin. "I suppose we do."

Her mother held her gaze, hand linked with her father's as the both of them slowly sat down on the white couch with a long sigh. After _another_ moment of silence, Pearl hesitantly walked after them and sat on the opposing couch.

Anxiety coursed through her veins with each accelerated heartbeat, her mind getting fuzzy and lightheaded. She devised as many different outcomes as she could, each becoming more and more obscure and unbelievable. Everything hurt. Sheepishly gazing into her parents eyes, she wasn't sure if she was hurting for them or for herself.

"We received your text last night, but you can't just not come home like that. We we're really worried, please don't do that again," her father warned softly, squeezing his wife's hand.

"I'm really sorry." Pearl avoided her parents eyes. She knew what was coming. "I understand."

A pause, and a sharp breath from one of her parents.

"Pearl…" Her mother bit her lip and sent a sideways look to her father. "Are you a lesbian?"

Pearl swallowed down a ball of nerves lodged in her throat. "Yes."

Silence. There was far too much quiet.

Iva's hand tightened around her husband's. Pearl watched the bones stretch the skin.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"B-because I am afraid!" Pearl shot up to her feet, clenching her hands into her sides. "You have _no idea_ how hard it is to come out. I thought you were homophobic! I was terrified I wouldn't have a family anymore if I told you; but I did! So just get angry with me already for being a failure daughter."

"Homophobic?" her father echoed, his face paling.

Pearl gritted her teeth. "Yes! I've heard what both of you have said about gay people in TV shows!"

"Pearl, please, we're not angry with you. Calm down." Her mother sent her a pleading look.

"Why not? I'm g-gay, you're s-supposed to… to hate me…" Pearl sunk back into the couch, curling into her arms, her emotions untamed by anxiety. "Oh god… I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry…"

The cushions around her squeaked under the pressure, and two arms from her left side enveloped her shoulders.

Iva sighed, her breath wheezing through Pearl's hair. She let go of the hug. "Honestly, I don't understand homosexuality. Why you would choose to be like that. But you're my daughter, and you come first before what I think is good and bad."

"It's not a choice Mum," Pearl neutrally replied, curling her arms around her body tightly. She hated the feeling of being trapped, being surrounded by her parents - but they were just trying to be there for her. She… appreciated that.

"I've read about it somewhere that people are born with it," her father informed Iva from the other side of Pearl.

"It's neither. It's not a choice, but it's not written in our genetics if we're going to be gay or not. It's influenced by our experiences, and sometimes it just happens for no reason." Pearl dug her fingers into her ribcage. "… So you don't hate me?"

"Of course not!" her parents scolded in unison.

"You're our daughter; how could we hate the one child we've spent almost 18 years loving and raising?" her mother reasoned.

"We might not understand homosexuality, but we _want_ to understand it. For you," her father added.

Pearl felt her eyes misting over. Burying her head into her hands, she mumbled, "I love you. You're great parents, I'm so sorry I thought you were going to hate me."

"We love you too honey."

After a few breaths of silence, her father spoke up.

"So when will we properly meet Rose?"

"Are you two really together?" her mother added, a sparkle in her eyes. "Is my daughter in her first relationship?"

Warmth flooded Pearl's cheeks. "I… Yes, we're together. I'm n-not sure when I c-can properly introduce you to Rose."

Her mother enveloped her in another short hug. "I'm so happy you're happy. So how long have you and Rose been together?"

Pearl fidgeted uncomfortably. This was overbearing. "Two months. I-I need to go lie down; this is a lot to t-take in."

"Sorry, we're just excited and trying to be supportive," her father explained, dimming his smile down. "If you need some time alone, that's okay."

Pearl nodded. "Okay. Thank you." Without another word, Pearl leapt out of the suffocating closeness of her parents and stalked down the hallway to her bedroom. Closing the door, she sunk into her bed and broke into sobs.

* * *

"So your parents are supportive?" Peridot asked, eyeing Pearl with curiosity.

"Surprisingly, yes." Pearl brushed her hand over the guitar, which had returned back to her lap during her recount. "They apologised for all the things they had said in the past. They really just want me to be happy."

Lapis watched absentmindedly, thinking back to when her mother found out about her bisexuality; it seemed overly dull compared to Pearl's coming out.

"That's great!" Peridot exclaimed, trying and failing to throw her hands up from Lapis' lap.

"It is." Pearl sighed happily. "For once, it's nice to know that I was wrong. I never thought coming out to my parents would have good outcomes."

"I think everyone thinks that." Lapis nudged Peridot. "Take Peri for an example; her coming out was the most anti climatic thing in history but she still thought her mum would hate our relationship."

"Hey, anti-climatic is good," Peridot grumbled. "Means no surprising plot twists."

Lapis shrugged. "Fair enough."

"What about you Lapis?" Pearl asked. "Have you come out to your parents?"

"Eh, yeah. It was boring like Peridot's though, nothing juicy like yours. Mum and I were lying on the couch watching a movie or something and I think there was a gay character, because out of nowhere I said I was bisexual. Mum fist pumped and said she knew I had a thing for girls. I told Dad the next day. Immediately he took me out to the cafe and starting pointing at girls I should hook up with."

"Aw, your parents are fun," Peridot groaned, rolling her back onto Lapis' lap. "I wish Mum was like that, and not all "Oh, okay, you're gay that's fine," because that was a boring and awkward coming out."

"Oh, that wasn't fun at all. It's utterly embarrassing having your dad asking what girls you find hot. And you came out after you snuck out to see me, right?" Lapis asked, raising an eyebrow. "You literally just told her we were dating the second you walked back home. You have some bravery Peri."

"Yep, that's me, bravery machine." Peridot puffed her chest proudly and crossed her arms.

"You snuck out to see Lapis?" Pearl questioned, both of her eyebrows shooting off her forehead. "You guys have some interesting dates."

Lapis rested her casted arm across Peridot's stomach and eyed Pearl cheekily. "What's the worse thing you've done with Rose? Probably you two making out at that party - beats Peridot sneaking out to see me."

"That never happened," Pearl quickly replied, gazing down at her lap to hide her blush.

"Actually, now that I think of it, you two make out a lot around all of us," Peridot scrutinised playfully. " _You_ must have some interesting dates."

"Wh-what? Nooo, hah, our dates are normal!" Pearl eagerly tried to convince, her face glowing more. "Actually, the only real date we've been on was with you two. Unless you count when I took Rose out for her birthday."

Lapis started grinning. "You took Rose out for a date on her birthday? Aw, how sweet."

"It wasn't really a date!" Pearl argued, her flush cheeks not cooling down. "I just took her out to town, looking through the shops and buying her whatever she wanted, then we went through the forest to the lighthouse hill and…"

"And made out lots?" Lapis finished, her grin turning smug. "Sounds like a good date to me. We need to get our dating advice from _you_ , not the other way around."

Pearl glared at Lapis. "Shut up."

"As much as I'd love to indulge in teasing Pearl, we do have to finish our homework," Peridot informed, crawling out of Lapis' lap and falling to the floor.

"Why did I even invite you guys to nerd out on my floor?" Lapis joked, rolling her eyes and smiling amusedly.

"Because you love us." Peridot pondered for a second. "Well, mainly me. 100% me."

"Oh, please, everyone knows I'm here for the ultimate nerd Pearl."

"Leave me out of this," came Pearl's muffled reply as she stuck her head into her exercise book.

Peridot stuck her tongue out at Lapis, and the latter reciprocated the gesture. Completely immature, but Lapis loved it.

She watched Peridot and Pearl continue working on their homework, back on her carpeted floor, like Pearl hadn't just recounted her coming out. Her guitar was back in her lap, and her fingers desperately wanted to strum something. Instead, Lapis placed her guitar in it's neat little rack in the corner of her room and took out her phone for distractions. Peridot and Pearl were back to chatting about their Maths or Science homework - Lapis didn't care which.

She entertained herself by browsing through Youtube, searching for the latest let's play videos to indulge in.

Her screen lit up with a call before she could click on a video.

Her father was calling. It wasn't unusual, but Lapis didn't expect it nonetheless.

"Hey Dad," she greeted, keeping her eyes trained on Peridot scribbling in her notebook. She briefly glanced up. "What's happening?"

"Is Jasper with you?" her father replied, voice unsteady and rushed.

"Uh, no? Is she not with you?"

"No. She left this morning, presumably to school, but I told her she could have more days off. Haven't seen her since."

Lapis' hand in her cast desired to be balled into a fist. Instead, her hand around her phone became crushing. "You mean… she's missing?"

"Yes. I'm worried Lapis, she hasn't been answering her phone."

She shot off the bed. Lapis now had Peridot's and Pearl's full attention. "I'll look around town for her."

"I'm driving around the further places of town. Thank you, Lapis."

Lapis couldn't get her father's shaky voice out of her head. She hung up and quickly reached for her socks and shoes. She refused to believe Jasper would do anything stupid; probably just got drunk and was somewhere in town being a nuisance.

"What happened?" Peridot urged, worry etching into her face as she leapt to her feet too.

"Jasper's missing. I'm going to find her," Lapis answered, gritting her teeth and pocketing her phone and wallet.

"Wh-what?" Peridot choked. "I'm coming with you!"

Lapis hesitated for a moment. Jasper probably wouldn't be in a good state, wherever she was. She wanted to respect Jasper's need for privacy if she'd fucked herself over, but finding her was first priority.

"Thanks. I need all the help I can get."

"I'll, uh, go home. Um, I imagine Jasper wouldn't be… pleased to see me," Pearl awkwardly added in, shuffling on her spot on the floor and packing her stuff together. "I wish I could help. Good luck finding her."

"That's okay, Peridot and I will find her." Lapis sent a quick glance to Peridot. "We need to leave immediately, are you ready?"

"I, uh, yeah!" Peridot enthusiastically replied, kicking her bag to the wall of Lapis' room. "I'm just going to leave my stuff here and pick it up later."

"Sounds good."

The three of them exited the room, Pearl quickly dashing through the front door with a goodbye as Lapis and Peridot stopped to talk to Iris. She looked up, sullen expression unmoving.

"Dad just called me, Jasper isn't around," Lapis informed, striding over to her mother and enveloping her in a short hug. "We're gonna find her, okay? I'll be back soon."

"Make sure Jasper is safe," her mother replied with a pale face.

The air outside was cool, brushing against Lapis' skin and making her body shudder. It seemed winter was upon them. The sun gleamed in the distance, tantalising her with the aspect of time as it dropped closer to the horizon.

"We need to find Jasper before it gets dark," Lapis announced, swallowing through the lump of fear in her throat.

"Okay. Where do you think she'd be?" Peridot asked carefully, tugging Lapis' hand into her own and giving it a squeeze. Lapis smiled at that.

"I don't know. She wouldn't be anywhere in central town, unless she was with friends. It's not like her to go shopping or hang around food malls." Lapis' smile melted into a frown. She didn't want to suspect if Jasper would actually be drunk in town. "She might be at the beach? But… I don't know why."

Lapis thought of the water. The show. Drowning. Malachite. She shook her head. "No, I don't think she'd be there, but we can check as a last resort."

"Would Jasper go to the gym?" Peridot questioned. "She seems like the type to physically exert herself under pressure."

"That's reasonable." Lapis remembered wrapping the bandages around Jasper's damaged hands. "Yeah, let's go check that out."

The gym wasn't too far. Lapis kept at a jogging pace, stopping every now and then so Peridot could catch her breath. The sky was getting darker with every minute, and she didn't want Jasper trapped in the darkness.

Lapis found herself feeling afraid for Jasper, something she never imagined in a million years.

The pair entered the gym. It was near closing time, and only a few people were training inside. No sign of Jasper's bronze skin or her bleached hair. Lapis wasn't taking any chances though, and asked the reception if they had noticed anyone that had come in today whom looked like Jasper.

"Really tall girl with long blonde hair - you mean Jasper?" the receptionist asked, his attention caught by the two girls asking about her. "She comes here often, but I didn't see her today, no. Why are you asking?"

"She's my sister and we're trying to find her," Lapis divulged, impatiently tapping her fingers against the desk.

"Oh, sorry to hear that. Good luck finding her! Sorry I couldn't help."

"That's okay." Lapis dismissed him and stomped out of the gym - one cross on her list of where to find Jasper.

"Any idea where else?" Peridot asked, her voice betraying panic.

"Uh, is there anywhere else where Jasper can fight?" Lapis wondered. "You got any ideas Peri?"

"Um, I think Amethyst mentioned a wrestling place somewhere in town?"

"Wrestling? There's no wrestling in Beach City."

Peridot whipped out her phone, quickly tapping a message to Amethyst. "I didn't think so either. I think it's an underground sort of thing? I don't know how to phrase it. I just remember Amethyst saying something about it - I think she took Pearl and Garnet there once."

"Oh." Lapis' frown deepened. "Are you asking her where it is, because I don't suppose you know."

"I'm sending her a message right now."

Lapis drilled her brain for more ideas.

_Jasper's never mentioned wrestling before. It does sound like her thing though._

She paced in circles as she waited for Peridot's phone to ping with a text back. It was a few minutes before it did make a sound, and every minute that passed brought more stress to Lapis.

"Uh, Amethyst says wrestling isn't on today," Peridot informed, sending another text to her friend. "I guess that means Jasper's not there."

"Where the fuck could she be?" Lapis snapped, crossing her arms tightly around her body. "I can't believe she's done something like this. I swear to fucking god, if she's passed out in a ditch somewhere I'm never going to forgive her."

"Hey, hey, we'll find her, okay?" Peridot soothed, gently prying Lapis' arms from around from her ribcage. She held her hands softly. "We just need to think calmly. Okay?"

Lapis took a deep breath in through her nose. "Okay. She could be at… at… I don't know. Where would I go if I felt fucked up?"

Realisation dawned on her.

"Oh my god, I'm a fucking idiot. Peridot. She's with her mum."

"She's with her…" Peridot's eyes widened. " _Oh_. The graveyard?"

"Yes! If I lost Mum, I know that's where I'd go." Lapis felt ready to slap herself in the face. "Come on, let's go see if she's there."

This time Lapis ran. Her feet and legs ached, but she wasn't going to let the sun beat her and let the night fall. She just hoped Peridot wasn't lagging behind.

"Lapis, wait!" Peridot called out as Lapis dashed across the road. A car roared past right at Lapis' heels. "Jeezus, slow down! Be careful!"

Lapis stopped on the other side of the road, feeling her limbs shaking. She waited for Peridot to cross.

"Don't get yourself killed over this!" Peridot scolded.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just really want to find Jasper." Lapis heard Peridot's ragged breathing beside her and drew her in for a hug. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Peridot sighed. "It's okay. Well, it's not, because I don't want you to get hit by a car. Stay safe."

"Okay." Lapis nodded shakily, but took off at a jog again, this time interlocking her hand with Peridot's to keep her by her side.

By the time the both of them reached the graveyard, they were both panting and the sky was blossoming into a dark pink. Seeing the place again sent chills down Lapis' spine. She didn't want to return here for a long time.

The pair called out for Jasper as they walked through the garden of gravestones. The bleakness made Lapis' stomach churn, and she opted to keep her eyes off the ground.

"Lapis, look!" Peridot hissed, pointing to rows of gravestones ahead of them. A silhouette sat in front of a grave. A silhouette that oddly resembled Jasper.

"Jasper!" Lapis cried out, running through the cemetery, trying to be careful of the monuments planted in the rich grass. The silhouette didn't respond, didn't move. Fear lined Lapis' gut. "Jasper!"

When she reached Jasper, her body was limp, resting in a sitting position. Lapis watched the breaths rise and fall in Jasper's chest. A soft snore wheezed out of her.

Lapis searched around for any evidence of alcohol - there didn't seem to be any bottles or cans.

"Is she okay?" Peridot asked, worry trembling her words.

"I think so. It looks like she's passed out." Lapis pulled out her phone and sent a text to her father.

_Lapis [5:34PM]: i've found her. at the graveyard_

"Should we wake her?" Peridot's voice quietened promptly, and she clung to Lapis' arm.

Lapis nodded. She crawled over to Jasper and swallowed deeply. Upon closer inspection, Jasper didn't look too good. Deep bags lined her eyes, dried streaks of tears stained her face, and her bandages were taken off. Gashes ran down her hands, her knuckles sore and bloody.

"Oh Jasper, what have you done to yourself?" she muttered under her breath as she grazed her good fingertips over the grazes on Jasper's hands.

Jasper startled. The wounds must've hurt then.

"Lapis?" Jasper asked, her voice dry and unstable. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

Fury almost boiled inside Lapis. "Here to bring you home. Do you have any idea how worried we've been?"

"Do you have any idea how hurt I've been?" Jasper spat back, her voice breaking. She wiped a fist over her face, biting her lip to hide the pain.

"I can tell." Lapis nodded down to Jasper's broken hands. "What did you do to yourself?"

"None of your business."

"It is my goddamn business when I spend half an hour searching for your sorry ass."

Jasper shrunk back. "You don't know how I feel. It hurts _so badly_ Lapis. I just want to see Mum again."

"Fucking up your fists isn't going to bring Scarlett back."

"Don't be a fucking asshole," Jasper growled.

Lapis sighed. Peridot held closer to her side, making her presence known. Jasper only glanced at her.

"I'm sorry Jasper. I shouldn't be yelling at you. I was so scared you had done something stupid." Lapis gazed down at her hands. "Well, you have done something stupid. Please just tell me what you did."

Jasper fidgeted. Lapis watched her bloodshot eyes, watched the glassiness, and fought the urge to hug her.

"I miss her so much, it's painful. I wanted to feel… something different." Jasper ran a hand over her face again and sniffed. "I guess punching things works, but I already knew that."

Lapis sighed. Brought herself closer to Jasper. Let Peridot cling to her still. Ran her good hand over Jasper's wounds again. Tentatively rested her body against hers.

"I'm sorry about this all. And I'm sorry for being a dick. I'm just so scared for you Jasper. You're really hurting yourself."

"I know." A sob escaped Jasper. "I fucking hate Rose for doing this."

"Rose… Rose didn't do this on purpose. I know you know that."

"I need someone to blame."

Lapis held her breath, contemplating. "How long have you been hurting yourself, Jas?"

A silence stretched. Jasper hiccuped, failing to stop another sob. "Since Malachite."

" _What?_ " Lapis' eyes widened. "This is a serious issue, Jasper! Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"It isn't serious, I swear. I'm not self-harming!" she defended and attempted to tug herself out of Lapis' grasp. Despite everything, Lapis only held on closer.

"Bullshit. It doesn't matter how you're hurting yourself; if you're doing it, it's self-harm."

Jasper stayed silent. Lapis watched the tears pooling down her face and hated the guilt and sympathy burning in her stomach.

"I called Dad," Lapis continued in a more soothing voice. "He's coming to pick us up. I'm taking you to the doctors."

Jasper nodded meekly. Giving up. She turned to Peridot. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to find you too," Peridot replied, dodging Jasper's stare. "We are all worried."

They all stayed in silence after that. Jasper desperately trying not to break down bawling. Lapis letting herself love Jasper. Peridot trying to physically be there for Lapis.

Lapis' father showed up after a few minutes. He and Lapis helped Jasper to her feet. As they went to turn away, Jasper gave the gravestone a long stare, her eyes blurry.

"I love you," she mumbled softly, and turned away.

* * *

Lapis found herself at the graveyard yet again the next day. She stood in front of the monument, gazing at it with half lidded eyes, curling her good arm around Peridot's waist. She didn't want to be back here. At all. But this wasn't about her.

She restrained herself from kicking her foot into the grass, and fiddled with her phone in her hand. She didn't have the courage earlier today at school, so she needed to now.

Lapis clicked the contact and held the phone to her ear.

She saw more than felt the breeze sweep through the cemetery. It ruffled with the leaves in the trees, pulling them off the branches and letting them rain down. It parted some of Peridot's messy hair, strands curling into the current. It persuaded the grass to scratch against the gravestones.

"Lapis?" Pearl asked on the phone.

She thought of Jasper at the surgery last night. The bandages reapplied to her damaged hands. The stitches wound into the worst gash. But it wasn't just that. She was seeing a counsellor right as they stood in the graveyard. Her father even offered to go as well. They both had some things to fix up.

"Hey Pearl," Lapis answered, sensing Peridot's encouraging expression to her side. She fought the urge to kiss her on the forehead. "I think you and Rose deserve this."

Lapis never realised Malachite had effected Jasper so much like herself. Only recently knew that she was emotionally hurt. But to be driven to self-harming… Lapis shook her head. It was as bad as her eating problems. But she was getting better - Jasper needed to too.

"Deserve what?" Lapis could almost hear the confused frown through the phone. It almost made her smile.

Lapis gazed at the gravestone.

_Scarlett Brooks, 1977 - 2016, loving mother, wife, and friend of all. Rest in Peace._

She wished she knew her better.

"You two deserve to see Scarlett's tombstone. It's the least I can do." Lapis pulled Peridot closer and felt Peridot's arms wrap rightly around her midsection. "Peridot and I are already here. We're here for you and Rose."


	24. Are We Still Young

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone, and welcome to the finale of Gasoline & Matches!!  
> i'm soooo sorry it's taken so long omg. but it's here now and it's LONG - 9000+ words heck  
> thank you, every single one of you, for being here through the journey of this story and offering your support! it means so much to me, and i hope you all have a blast reading this final chapter! <333

Are We Still Young

The light shone through the thick canopy in thin rays, contrasting against the shadows casted by the trees. A cobblestone building was crumbling between the trunks of the trees, its moulded rocks glistening in the short bursts of light. A deer ran by, its ears perked. Spooked.

Peridot moved closer to the ruins. She wanted to run her hand over the rocks, feel every groove underneath her fingertips, the moss leaving her hands damp. Instead she heard her feet crackle the twigs and foliage underneath her as she stepped closer and closer.

The ruins weren't all that big; towering only a metre or so above her head, as opposed to a castle. The doorway wasn't much of a doorway anymore. It had mostly caved in, any light peeking through the canopy unable to reach the darkness past its collapse. Peridot went to squeeze through the gap she could see.

"Hey Peri?" Amethyst called from somewhere behind her.

"Yeah?"

"You've got a message from Lapis."

Peridot sighed and placed the controllers in her hands on the floor. She slipped the headset off and passed it over to Amethyst swinging off her office chair. "Well? You want to take over?"

"Hell yeah, you know I love VR." Amethyst grinned and leapt for the headset, handing Peridot her phone as she stood up.

"Remember it's an alpha, there's bound to be bugs," Peridot reminded her as she took a seat in the chair, eyeing Amethyst setting up the equipment before trailing her eyes down to her phone. One text was left by Lapis.

_the one and only lazuli [5:34PM]: hey i'm on my way home now. see u soon [heart]_

Peridot smiled.

_Peridork [5:36PM]: okay! how was the show?_

_the one and only lazuli [5:39PM]: driving home rn tell u when i get back_

"How is it Amethyst?" Peridot asked after a moment, plonking her phone back on the desk and swivelling around in the chair.

"This is sick dude. Is it supposed to be horror because I've got the chills," Amethyst replied, glancing around the room with the VR headset over her head.

"No, it's just an exploration based adventure, though there are some creepy moments, heh."

"This would make an awesome horror. Just sayin'."

Peridot chuckled. "I suppose it would."

"So what did Lapis say?"

"She's coming home."

"Man, I wish I had gone to the show. Schedule's a bit tight at the moment."

Peridot silently agreed and watched Amethyst some more. It was interesting to watch people in VR; to be in two worlds at once, their actions in reality reflecting in the fictional world. Amethyst bent down and fell onto her knees, supposedly crawling through the broken down archway Peridot had seen. Intriguing.

She gazed between Amethyst's antics and the computer screen, watching the world be manoeuvred around by the headset. The game was a work in progress, but Peridot was proud to be working on it. It was admittedly not something she had planned to do when she was growing up, to make a virtual reality game, but she supposed her mother's business influenced her.

Peridot heard the front door swing open, and Amethyst must've too despite the headphones, and took off the entire headset.

"This. Is. Wicked," Amethyst complimented, her excited grin unmoving.

Peridot smiled abashedly. "Thank you." She stood up from the chair, stretching her arms a bit, and started walking out of the room. "Shall we?"

Amethyst didn't need to answer; she rushed past Peridot and jumped into Lapis halted at the front door.

"Woah, jeez Amethyst," Lapis greeted through chuckles. "Miss me much?"

"Eh," she grunted, smiling cheekily at Lapis. "I just wanna hear about the show."

"You asshat."

Amethyst stuck her tongue out. Lapis shoved her out of the way, sending her tumbling into Greg whom stood beside her.

Peridot watched the spectacle amusedly, then sauntered up to Lapis. Her blue eyes flicked from Amethyst laughing against Greg to Peridot, her smile growing bigger.

"Hey nerd," Lapis addressed, placing her guitar against the wall and opening her arms wide. "C'mere."

Peridot launched herself into Lapis' arms, snuggling her face into the crook of her neck, inhaling the scent of rustic taverns and faint alcohol. It was a nice smell.

Peridot let herself fall out of Lapis' arms, her grin broad. "How was the show?"

"It was awesome!" Greg answered for her, beaming like Peridot. He placed his own electric guitar next to Lapis' acoustic, and fist pumped. "I have _never_ had so much fun in my life!"

"Performing with Greg is the best," Lapis affirmed, wrapping her arm around his shoulders and giving him a quick knuckle rub on his head (through all the thick hair). "I finally got to perform one of my own originals! It was scary but definitely worth it for the applauds we received."

"That's great Lapis!" Peridot exclaimed, bouncing up and down on the spot.

"I bet you two got heaps of fans now," Amethyst added, crossing her arms tantalisingly. "Especially Greg; any fangirls taken your interest yet?"

Greg flushed a little. "Heh, no Amethyst. I'm not desperate, just single."

Amethyst faux huffed, but still wore her grin. "Sooo… how long will you two take to get ready?"

"Amethyst, it's…" Lapis checked her phone, "4:40, we don't need to be there til 6pm. Plus I'm kinda hungry."

"Yeah, and if we get there earlier we can eat earlier!"

Lapis raised her eyebrows. "Not happening."

"Ugh, you're no fun anymore."

"Since when was I ever fun in the first place?"

Amethyst grinned. "Okay fine. Peri and I have been ready for a while now, so we better be there at 6!"

"Whatever." Lapis faced Greg. "You need to go home to get ready or?"

"Nah, I'm good." He plucked at his black _Mr. Universe_ shirt with a golden star in the centre; his band clothes. "I'm sure we don't need to be dressy."

Lapis hummed in agreement. "Yeah, you're probably right. You guys can chill and grab a snack if you like, I'm gonna take a break."

Amethyst took that as a sign to dig into the fridge, and ran off to the kitchen, Greg hot on her heels. Peridot frowned. That was _exactly_ what she was avoiding, keeping Amethyst at bay with the VR.

Lapis noticed her frown and smiled coyly. "What? We have plenty of food."

"Yeah, and I want to keep it that way." Peridot rolled her eyes and stalked off to her office.

"Don't I get any welcome back kisses?" Lapis called out after her.

"You were gone for the day, not for an entire week."

"And?"

Peridot rolled her eyes again, but smiled this time. She picked up the VR headset and controllers left on the floor by Amethyst and stacked them into the shelf, untangling all the cables and neatly placing them next to the set too. She felt Lapis' eyes on her back as she shut down her computer.

"Are you tired?" Peridot asked, making sure everything was packed away in the room before wandering over to Lapis standing in the doorway.

Lapis shrugged. "Kinda. Why?"

"Want to nap for a while?"

"What about Ms. Appetite and Mr. Universe over there?" Lapis gestured towards the kitchen, where already sounds of cooking came from. "Let them run wild?"

Peridot sighed. "Yeah sure, but they're cleaning up the mess."

Lapis grinned, taking Peridot's hand in her own and giving her a quick kiss. "Alright, I'm down for snuggles and Youtube."

* * *

Pearl fidgeted with the cutlery on the oak table, making sure all the plates were centred nicely and symmetrical to the other side. She couldn't help it. Perfection was key.

It was nearing 6pm, the sunlight glinting through the windows and glass doors hesitantly as the sun fell further towards the horizon. It cast a pretty orange shade across the dining and lounge room. Pearl often noticed it. It was hard to miss it when the sun was at your doorstep every dawn, its light glistening against the quiet waves lapping at the shore.

The beach house had received quite a few renovations over time, all thanks to Rose's father. The lounge room had been extended, giving more room for a dining table between it and the kitchen, which in turn had more space too. The shabby front door was replaced with sliding glass doors and maroon curtains. The loft also had new furniture installed to make it a more homey bedroom. And thank goodness, a driveway was implemented; even though it was a simple gravel one.

Pearl remembered the months spent away from her home with Rose, waiting in anticipation for the renovations to be complete at her parents'. It was always odd seeing her mum and dad; their relationship had grown over the years and despite everything, despite all the anxiety and dread, Pearl felt she could truly trust them.

Nonetheless, it was always odder being in her old bedroom, seeing most of her personal belongings cleared out of the area, only two drawers and her old bed being left behind. Her high school memories were held there, and she wished she could forget the countless times she cried distraught there, and just remember all the times she made love to Rose when her parents were away.

Again, Pearl fretted with the cutlery of one plate, humming when it looked satisfactory. Everything was set.

The rocky noises of car tyres rolling over gravel sounded outside the beach house. Pearl checked the time again - just past 6pm. They were surprisingly on time.

She went to greet the new arrivals, opening the glass doors wide and stepping out onto the balcony. She leant over the rails, observing her friends exiting their car beside hers, and smiled broadly. Everyone was here, even Greg, and the family felt complete for the first time in a long time.

A hand on her shoulder signalled that she wasn't alone. Garnet mimicked her smile, her eyes shining in the dusk sunlight.

"It's good to see everyone for the first time in a long time," Garnet admitted, speaking Pearl's thoughts out loud.

"It is." Pearl watched Lapis attempt to stick her leg out in front of Peridot's, then proceeding to catch the smaller woman before she tripped over. _Those two have an odd relationship._

"Hello everybody," she called out, waving happily to her visitors.

"Pearl!" Amethyst cried back, leaping up the stairs with vim and vigour, briefly sending a cautious glance at Garnet's way, and slugged Pearl affectionately in the arm. "Dude, it's been _forever_! Where have you been for months?"

"Oh, you know, studying and family stuff," Pearl replied, rubbing her arm with a smile. Amethyst's ways of saying hello were always the most physical. Well, save for Rose. She would never get tired of her kisses.

Peridot stepped up behind Amethyst and grunted. "Studying is very time consuming Amethyst, for your information."

"Hey, I wasn't going to tease about that, I get it," Amethyst defended, deflating a little. "Just because I haven't done it doesn't mean I don't understand."

"Rightio," Lapis interrupted, pushing between the two and wrapping an arm around each of their shoulders. "How's the fam Pearl?"

"Oh, it's going wonderfully." Pearl strolled over to the front doors, fully pushing back the curtains to allow everyone in. "Please, come in."

She didn't miss the way Amethyst stood the furtherest away from Garnet as they all made their way inside, nor the way almost everyone bounced excitedly.

Amethyst squeezed past everyone and came to the front. "So where's Rose?"

"Coming!" a voice called out from the hallway at the back of the house. Pearl couldn't help a giddy smile; she loved the way Rose always sounded so cheerful.

A door in the hallway at the back of the house opened and closed, Rose stepping out wearing a gorgeous floral button-up and a loose skirt. She wore a smile as bright as the sun, the dimples in her cheeks accentuating and her eyes wrinkling with joy. Lion stalked at her ankles, his white fur puffing up at the visitors.

Pearl watched the way everyone's eyes glistened in awe and excitement, and let her giddy grin spread before focusing on Rose and her little gift to the world.

In her arms, wrapped in a small red blanket, was a baby, his eyes wide with curiosity at the new people in his home.

Lapis was the first to speak.

"Steven."

A simple name that seemed to melt her, from Pearl's perspective. And everyone else followed.

Amethyst waggled her fingers in front of his face, like he was a kitten. He smiled, made a few indecipherable noises, and grabbed her index finger with his tiny hand. He seemed pleased with his catch.

Rose sat down in a chair and Peridot came up with Lapis, holding her hand as she ran a finger over his tiny hand with her other hand. Her smile was something Pearl rarely saw without the presence of Peridot. She never knew Lapis could take such a liking to babies.

Garnet bent down to Steven's level in Rose's arms and murmured, "Hello Steven."

He responded with a few happy baby noises and smiled.

Garnet smiled back.

Greg was an interesting one to watch. After all, Steven was half of his genes, yet not his _actual_ parent to raise him. Steven shared his dark hair, but the beginnings of brown hair were starting to grow curly, like Rose's.

"May I hold him?" Greg asked Rose nervously, but Rose beamed.

"Of course!"

Pearl was glad any jealousy she had of Greg was completely gone. It didn't matter if Steven was half of Greg, her and Rose would raise Steven together and be his parents. And it was tiring and tedious, taking care of a child, but Pearl was committed. This is what Rose wanted, and she realised later, what she wanted. A family to call hers with Rose.

And a family with all her friends right there and then.

Greg held Steven in his arms, and the baby giggled delightfully, and Pearl saw the loving smile of Greg. He was not going to raise Steven, but he may as well love him as much as if he did.

After everyone greeted Steven personally, Pearl flitted about the kitchen, bringing pots and pans from one side to the other and preparing the dishes. Rose followed behind her, sending a sweet smile to their friends entertained by baby Steven, and wrapped her arms around Pearl's waist.

"It smells great in here," Rose hummed, resting her chin on Pearl's shoulder.

Pearl chuckled a little. "You know I can't keep cooking if you're hugging me."

"You want me to take over for a bit? You've been cooking for hours."

"It's okay, I like cooking. You know that."

Rose smiled and pecked Pearl on the cheek. "You go make sure Lion isn't attacking Steven with cuddles, I'll finishing cooking and preparing."

Pearl sighed and left the kitchen. Amethyst was holding Steven in her lap at the table, the chair opposite her homing a sleeping Lion. It seemed he was okay with the visitors now.

Peridot and Lapis were sitting next to each other at the table, talking about all kinds of stuff with Amethyst that Pearl didn't really listen to. Instead, she wandered over to Greg and Garnet chatting by the front doorway.

It was strange raising Steven with Rose. She never thought she'd have children, and if she did, they would've been adopted. And certainly not at this _young_ of an age. But Rose really wanted to have a child of her own, to go through pregnancy and labour. Pearl still couldn't understand why. It seemed like such a painful experience.

Pearl was oddly grateful Greg was half of Steven's genes instead of a random stranger. Even though he'd be raised by two loving mums, he'd at least know his biological father. Steven would probably need fatherly advice growing up, and Pearl had a feeling Greg wasn't leaving anytime soon.

Rose brought out the dishes of food onto the centre of the long table. Plates of cooked meat and seafood alongside salads and oven baked vegetables littered the table; all of Pearl's proud work.

She took a seat beside Rose next to Steven in his baby chair, watching with amusement at Steven's excitement around the visitors. He was a charming baby.

They all took food from the centre dishes, styling their own plates to their desires. Pearl had a few marinated prawns and chicken with her potato salad.

"So Garnet, how was the UK?" Peridot asked, chomping down on a chicken wing.

"It was good to see my whole family again. Some of my old friends too. Too bad it's so cold over there; I would've liked to stay longer, but my mums and I were afraid we were going to freeze." Garnet smiled distantly. "I suppose you guys were missing me, so it was good I came back after only a couple of months."

Amethyst rolled her eyes and mumbled, "Duh, of course we missed you."

Garnet seemed to pick up on that and grinned wider.

"Are you thinking of re-enrolling in university?" Pearl asked after chewing on a prawn.

"Of course, can't leave you alone for much longer. How has uni been anyways?"

"Oh, the usual. Lots of study, stress and financial instability, but thank goodness for a rent-free home."

Peridot grumbled. "You two are lucky. I wish Lapis and I could find a rent-free home, but we had to move out of home eventually."

"Speaking of Lapis," Rose interrupted, grinning at the aforementioned woman, "How was your gig with Greg?"

Excitement flashed in Lapis' eyes. "Man, it was fuc— er, really awesome! It was only for the day, but Greg is introducing me to this lifestyle slowly. I can't wait for more though; it was so much fun!"

"It's great to hear your music career is kickstarting well," Pearl complimented with a broad smile.

"How about you Amethyst?" Rose asked, putting her elbows on the table and leaning into the back of her hands. "How's life been lately?"

"Oh, y'know…" Amethyst rubbed the back of her neck bashfully. "Livin' with Smokey, splitting the rent, tryna find a decent job, that boring schmuck."

"What about, yanno…" Lapis trailed off, hesitantly nodding her head towards Garnet.

"Really Lapis, you could be a bit more vague," Pearl scolded.

"It's okay," Garnet butted in. "We're just on another one of our 'off's."

"Garnet," Amethyst hissed through her teeth, blushing a bit. She wasn't very confident in discussing matters like… that.

Garnet shrugged. "Sorry, they asked, and it's really not much of a secret."

"Yeah, whatever."

"It's okay," Garnet repeated, more to Amethyst this time. She grumbled in response. Steven seemed to sense the drop in atmosphere and made a few distressed baby noises, waggling his hands out in Amethyst's direction. She looked up and smiled.

"Well, if everyone's done with dinner, we can get into dessert!" Pearl announced cheerfully, nudging Rose's arm.

"You really went full out, didn't you?" Peridot asked, raising an eyebrow.

Pearl smiled slyly. "You all know I love cooking, and I can't resist pleasuring my guests with my skills."

"Oh my god, please tell me that was an innuendo," Lapis mentioned and snorted.

"I—what? N-no!" Pearl snapped and abruptly stood. "I am in a very happy monogamous relationship, thank you very much!"

"Jeez Pearl, I was only joking." Lapis continued snorting and Pearl rolled her eyes.

"Yes, of course."

Pearl collected everyone's dishes, some more cleared than others, and took them to sink. Rose followed behind her with the food dishes.

"Should I leave these out or store them in the fridge?" she asked Pearl.

"Um, Amethyst will probably want seconds. I'd leave them out for an hour or less then put them in the fridge."

"Okay sweetie."

"Ugh, please, no. That sounds like you're my grandmother."

"It's been three years and I still can't find a pet name you like."

Pearl scoffed. "That's because there aren't any good pet names."

"I'll find the one, one day," Rose hummed. "Would you like me to serve dessert?"

"That would be great." Pearl quickly brushed a kiss on Rose's cheek. "Thank you."

* * *

The city lights were always so pretty at night.

Lapis sometimes missed Beach City and its serenity, its sunrises on the beach, its homeyness. The city however, was somewhere she would never tire from. It wasn't a big city, so it was never crowded, but it had the perfect amount of shops and activities to do. She would often find herself browsing Greg's music store, or lost in a regular cafe, or back at the tavern she sometimes liked to call her second home.

It was odd remembering sharing these places with other people when she was younger. Peridot was someone she always wanted to share the city with, but… she spent a lot of time there too with Jasper.

Lapis remembered hating her in this very room, and never knew how to feel about it. Over the years she had gone from loving Jasper as a best friend, to despising her half-sister, refusing to believe her as family, and back to loving her again. It was a long process, but eventually she forgave her. They both knew it wasn't each other to blame.

Lapis sat opposite of Jasper, watching her with more interest than her food on her plate. All thanks to Peridot's continuous positive reinforcement and a bit of therapy, she learned to eat properly again, but that didn't mean she wanted to eat that moment.

It was hard getting in contact with Jasper lately. Well, actually, usually it was.

She still had the odd appointment here and there to take care of her and her venting issues. Lapis sometimes went along; Jasper always needed the extra care and encouragement.

Most of the time however, she was off exploring, finding temporary jobs here and there. She wanted to find a place to call home, but after a month or so, Jasper always returned back to Beach City.

It was the first time in two months Lapis had even heard of Jasper.

Lapis pushed around some food on her plate. "So how was your recent trip?"

"I went to Massachusetts, checked out all the places big and small. Didn't feel like home," Jasper admitted after shovelling a mouthful of steak into her mouth. "Running out of funds to keep travelling though, and it's not easy to find quick jobs on the run."

"Isn't Beach City your home?" Lapis asked, raising an eyebrow. She knew the answer; she asked this every time Jasper returned from an adventure.

Jasper sighed. "Yeah, but no? You know it's been _chilly_ here for me since Mum died. Never felt like I really belong here after losing her."

"What about _here_ here? Like the city? Find an apartment and job near Peridot and I?"

"Don't I invade your space enough?"

Lapis scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Dude, I take care of you every time I see you, which is not often. Of course you don't invade my space. And it's not like we'll be living in the same house."

Jasper smiled and chuckled. "Maybe. I dunno. I wanna see more of the world before I decide where I want to stay."

"Thinkin' about the Southern Hemisphere?" Lapis asked, finally taking a bite of her food. A fancy beef and beetroot burger.

"Maybe. All backwards down there and whatnot. Just need to plan the funds for it first. It's one thing to travel America, another to leave the country altogether."

"Will you ever go to college or uni?"

Jasper finished off her steak before replying. "Dunno. I could study physical education I guess, become a gym teacher. Or become an athlete. Maybe study something that'll get me around the world. I'm not sure yet. What about you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, are you studying or anything?"

Lapis pushed her food around more. "Nah. Just work here at the tavern. But I did recently do a gig here with my friend Greg! That was super fun."

"That's great Lapis." Jasper smiled wholeheartedly. "You not gonna try to get into a music school?"

"Probably not. Maybe. I'm not sure if I want to make music my full time career, I just like it as a hobby or a small time thing, yanno? But I'm giving that decision time."

"Yeah, I get you."

The pair went silent as they finished their food, but Jasper still wore the same troubled expression she had worn the entire time. Lapis frowned at that.

"Want to tell me any more about your recent trip? You didn't really go into detail," Lapis asked, leaning back in her chair.

Jasper rapt her fingers on the table once and refused to look up from her empty plate.

"I saw Malachite in Boston."

"What."

"Or, well, I think I saw her. It's been a few years." Jasper looked up and saw Lapis' glare and bit the inside of her mouth. "She was working in one of the gift shops. Looked a little different too, her hair was dyed like aqua or something. Bunch more piercings too. I was so surprised I just _stood_ there, staring. I mean, what are the chances of seeing her again?"

"What the fuck," Lapis swore, scowling now. She couldn't say anything more.

"When she glanced up and looked at me, I bolted out of the store. After all of my uh, counselling, I kinda figured it would be bad to stay around."

"You made the right choice. Damn." Lapis' frown turned into one eyebrow raised. "Wait, why were you in a gift store?"

"I, um, was looking for a gift. For you." Jasper shrugged sheepishly. "Yanno, 'cause I was gone for longer this time."

"Aw, you big softie."

"Yeah, yeah, I know."

Lapis thought back to Malachite. After she left the school, she had no idea where she went. Never bothered to ask Jasper either. It never seemed appropriate with both of their issues with her.

"You know, I never asked where 'Chite went after she left the school," Lapis reminisced. "I was mad at her, at you, and then after that it never seemed important."

"Oh, yeah." Jasper frowned. "There were rumours she went to a psych ward or hospital or something. Other rumours were she was arrested. She told me her family was leaving the state. Never knew which were lies and what was the truth. Whatever happened, she's still alive."

"Oh. Well, I'd mark Boston off your map for a returning visit."

Jasper grinned. "Heh, yeah."

Two waitresses came over to the table, one picking up the plates and the other leaning over the table as gracefully as possible. Opal and Sardonyx.

"How are you two lovelies tonight?" the latter asked, beaming with her crooked bright teeth.

"Sardonyx, Opal, you've met Jasper before. My half-sister." Lapis mimicked Sardonyx's smile. "Yeah, we're good. Just catching up for the first time in a while."

"That's great to hear! Would you two like a drink on the house? For Jasper's return, of couse."

"Y'know, I think I'll say yes," Jasper responded.

Lapis turned her grin to Jasper. It was about time she had some fun with her family.

* * *

It was a strange, old unit they had. The walls were bricks with no plaster or paint, just crumbling away in a oddly pleasant, rustic way. The red tiles that lined the roof only strengthened the rustic feeling. That, paired with the beach nearby, made it feel very homey. Almost like a stone version of the beach shack.

Pearl almost managed to knock on the mahogany door but it was pulled open before her knuckles reached it. She quickly corrected herself and hefted Steven into both of her arms comfortably (there was no point bringing the pram, it was impossible to lift it up the steps to the unit).

Amethyst swung the door open at full force and gave Pearl a wide grin.

"Yo, P! On time, like always."

"Good afternoon Amethyst," Pearl greeted as she stepped through the doorway, instantly being enveloped by warmth. The red bricked home had a fire burning in a furnace in the immediate lounge room, where Smokey was lying across a grey-brown couch in front of it.

Pearl hadn't realised she was shaking before. She cradled Steven closer to her chest, hoping to pass her warmth to him.

Amethyst grinned as Pearl sat down on the other couch (which, to Pearl's dissatisfaction, didn't match the first in colour), opting to sit next to her.

"Steven's been excited to see you, as per usual," Pearl commented, smiling now. "He keeps pointing to you on the family photos we have."

"Aww, really?" Amethyst rubbed her neck abashedly.

"Kid loves you dude," Smokey complimented, then raised their hand in greeting. "Hey Pearl."

"Hello Smokey. How have you two been lately?"

"Y'know, the usual." Amethyst shrugged. "Work, chilling, et cetera."

"I expected to hear about parties," Pearl admitted.

Smokey got up off the couch. "Do you or Steven want anything?"

"Ah, a tea would be nice thanks! Don't worry about Steven, I have stuff packed for him."

Smokey nodded and wandered off to the kitchen.

Amethyst watched her sibling for a moment before trailing her eyes to Steven. "I mean, yeah, the odd house party workmates invite me to, I go to. Nothing crazy."

Pearl hummed. She didn't really expect different; everyone had grown up a little bit more, and nobody really had the time anymore for parties.

In her lap, Steven smiled lazily and closed his eyelids.

"What's up with Ste-man? He's usually awake around other people," Amethyst asked.

"Well, Rose took him earlier to Funland Park, and he had quite a time there. He's a bit tuckered out from that."

"And you didn't go?" Amethyst pressed, raising an eyebrow.

Pearl looked away. "W-well, no, but that's because arcades and shows like that don't really interest me. It gave me time to study anyways."

"Dude, Steven is your son and Rose is your girlfriend. You're supposed to go on outings with your family!" Amethyst scolded, raising her voice a little.

Pearl blushed a little. "I know, I know. But Steven's with me now, and I'll be with Rose soon."

Amethyst bit her lip. "So I guess you'll be leaving in a moment?"

"Yes."

Smokey came back with a tray of three drinks; a tea, hot chocolate, and can of soft drink. They took the warm cup of hot chocolate.

Pearl took a sip of her tea. She came so often to Amethyst's and Smokey's apartment that they didn't even need to ask about how she liked tea anymore. Most of the time it was to drop off Steven for 'daycare'. After all, both of them loved Steven, and he loved both back.

Well, Steven loved everyone. Everyone he had ever met he giggled and waggled his tiny hands at, staring with fascination in his eyes. Most people couldn't resist his charm.

Pearl smiled. Steven was going to be a handsome child with that personality.

Amethyst sipped her cool drink then settled it back down onto the coffee table. "Here, pass him over."

Pearl carried Steven from her arms into Amethyst's lap, where she looked at him fondly. Pearl hadn't seen her give that look to anyone else other than… Garnet, really.

"So," Pearl awkwardly started, taking a sip of her tea. "How are you and Garnet doing?"

Amethyst groaned. "The usual. On and offness. I don't mind, really. Why do you have to ask?"

Pearl raised her arms in defence. "I was just asking. I thought since Garnet came back, you two would be back together."

"Well… I don't know. Garnet's not really into seeing people, and I'm really into it. We're polar opposites in the scheme of things, yanno?"

Pearl hummed. She didn't personally understand that, but she knew Peridot and Lapis were sort of polar opposites. "Did you talk to her about polyamory?"

Amethyst sheepishly stared at Steven snuggled soundly in her lap. "Nah, not yet."

"Soon, yeah?"

"Yeah, whatever."

Pearl rolled her eyes amusedly. "You know I'm just pushing you for your own good."

"She's right," Smokey butted in, dragging their eyes away from their phone, giving Amethyst an honest look. "Dude, just ask about an open relationship and you can be with Garnet properly, instead of this on and off thing you have."

Amethyst groaned loudly, throwing her neck onto the frame of the couch. "You guys, stop interfering with my relationships. You're not my parents."

Pearl grinned. "Okay, sure. We all know if you don't do it, Garnet will anyways."

Amethyst almost groaned again until baby Steven made a few noises, sounding his awakening.

"Hey Steven!" she greeted, returning to a normal sitting position and grinning at him.

He made more happy noises in reply.

Pearl smiled and checked her phone. Drinking the rest of her tea, she stood up, leaving her bag full of Steven's things on the couch and tugging her jacket closer to her body.

"Well, I'm off to pick up Rose."

Amethyst nodded, along with Smokey, both almost solemnly. "Okay, yeah. You two… have fun? That's not right."

Pearl also nodded in understanding. "Alright, we'll pick Steven up tonight. Remember to change his nappy! And to use the right chair when you guys have dinner! And—"

"Alright, got it P." Amethyst mocked a captain salute, then waved. "Seeya Pearl."

"See you."

Back into the cold.

Pearl huffed into the collar of her thick jacket and quickly hopped into her car. Immediately she threw the heater on and pulled out of the driveway.

Rose was at the Big Donut. It's what she did on days like these. Pearl pulled up at the small friendly store shortly after leaving Amethyst's and Smokey's unit. The car had already gotten cozily warm and she didn't really want to leave. She texted Rose instead.

_Pearl [4:28PM]: Hey! I'm outside the Big Donut in the car. Waiting for you x_

Rose didn't need to reply. In a few minutes, Pearl watched her exit the store and quickly fumble her way over to the car.

She jumped into the passenger seat of the car, rubbing her gloved hands together, but quickly sighing in the heater's warmth. Pearl leant over and quickly pressed a kiss on her cheek.

"You ready?" she asked, already igniting the car.

Rose smiled. "As ready as I'll ever be, as per usual." She dropped the cup of coffee she had in her hand in the cup holder and leant back into the seat comfortably.

"How were Sadie and Lars?"

"Lars was complaining, as per usual."

Pearl held back a snort. She didn't really know the two of them apart from when Rose dragged her there, but she knew Lars' attitude.

Rose's smile turned into a grin. "But hey, it's why everyone loves him. It makes him surprisingly fun to be around."

"I'm surprised the both of them are still working there. I thought they would've gone to college by now, or at least a better job," Pearl admitted, driving away from the Big Donut and through the town.

"Why would they want to when they have amazing customers like myself?" Rose joked, making herself giggle a little.

Pearl merely laughed in agreement. Rose was pretty great.

They kept chatting throughout the drive, until the town became sparse and parks surrounded them.

Rose became quiet as Pearl parked the car. She grabbed the bouquet at her feet. Pearl noticed her silence, as per usual, and entangled her fingers with hers after they both got out of the car.

It was pointless asking if Rose was okay, so Pearl just offered her physical support.

The two of them walked through the gates hand-in-hand, Pearl giving Rose's palm the odd squeeze. She much preferred the soft texture of her hand than the fluffy glove, but that was probably just her.

Pearl kept her eyes ahead, scanning out the area. She didn't really need to. She came with Rose so often that the steps they took were ingrained like an unforgettable pattern.

Walk past the five old memorials, turn left at Ms. Baker's headstone, go forward four more strides, and so forth.

Rose stopped, and with her free hand, she gently placed the bouquet of pink tulips against Scarlett's gravestone. Pearl slowly let go of Rose's hand, and instead, wrapped her arm around her waist and pulled her close.

She did that every time.

"Pearl, this might be the last time I come in a while," Rose spoke in a hushed tone. She had a sad smile playing on her lips. "I don't want Steven to know about this place."

Pearl didn't think it was something to hide from their son. But it was Rose's past, and her decision. So Pearl nodded against her shoulder.

* * *

Some part of Lapis' brain was yelling at her to regret this.

But she couldn't. Steven looked so curious and excited to meet someone new, and…

Rose and Pearl sat close together on the couch, Steven cradled in the former's arms. Lapis watched the baby with half lidded eyes.

… and this was her idea after all.

Lapis turned around and slid open the front door. She watched Jasper's sandy hair tangle with the wind as she leant over the balcony.

"You don't have to look so dramatic," Lapis scoffed as she came to Jasper's side.

Jasper smiled amusedly. "Yeah, yeah, I know. This is just a big thing, yanno?"

"Yeah, I understand."

It took a bit of talking to make Jasper come. She had gone on another road trip around the state after Lapis first popped the question, which had irritated her quite a bit. But, she reminded herself, this was Jasper's recovery, not her own.

After disappearing from Beach City for two weeks, Jasper finally came back, knocking on Lapis' door with resolute and a tad of shame.

"I had a talk with Mum," Jasper had admitted at the door to Lapis' and Peridot's apartment.

Sympathy had clawed at Lapis' ribcage and she let Jasper in immediately.

Lapis accompanied Jasper to one of her sporadic counselling sessions, and even then it was highly advised.

So, the two found themselves here.

"Are you going to be okay?" Lapis asked, resting her hand on Jasper's forearm.

Jasper huffed. "Yeah, I think so. Um, I mean, they're not as bad as Malachite. Right?"

"Right."

Jasper pulled herself off the balcony and took a deep breath in. She gave Lapis a confident nod, and the latter lead the way back inside. Pearl and Rose were sitting on the couch just as before, and Steven's eyes were looking right over her shoulder. Straight at Jasper.

"Hi," Jasper awkwardly greeted. Lapis grabbed her hand and lead her to the recliner. Jasper stood hesitantly.

"Sit," Lapis ordered, pushing her gently by the shoulders into the seat.

Jasper reluctantly obeyed and sunk into the recliner. Lapis pulled a chair from the dining table and sat beside her.

"Hello Jasper, how was your recent road trip?" Pearl asked, forcing a smile. Lapis wasn't sure if she appreciated that Pearl was trying to smile, or irritated that it needed to be forced.

"Um…" Jasper massaged a thumb into her thigh anxiously. "Yeah, it was good. Uh. Yeah."

Lapis squeezed her arm reassuringly. "Hey, it's okay. There's no need to be afraid."

"Okay." Jasper took a silent heavy breath, and looked up at her two hosts, trying for a smile. "Sorry. Just a bit nervous."

"That's alright," Rose assured. In her arms, Steven continued to stare at Jasper happily, his dark eyes alive with curiosity. Rose bobbed him a little. "This is Steven. Would you like to say hi Steven?"

Steven made a vague hand gesture and hummed a baby noise. Lapis immediately grinned affectionately. Jasper was a little harder to break, but Lapis saw the corner of her mouth twitch.

"How old is he?" she asked.

"He just turned seven months recently," Pearl recalled.

"Wow, seven months. I didn't realise you two were parents for that long."

Rose smiled, her eyes crinkling up. "Honestly, it's mind-baffling to us too. It only feels like yesterday we took Steven home for the first night."

"You remember that?" Lapis asked, raising an eyebrow. "I thought you would've, like, passed out straight away from exhaustion and pain."

"Well, kinda," Rose admitted with a giggle. "But I can't forget Steven's birth. We both love him dearly."

"I think everyone loves him," Lapis countered, grinning. "Well, except maybe big buff Jasper here. Don't worry, she'll break."

Jasper frowned and fumbled with her hands for a moment. "Hey, don't tell them I'm actually a softie."

"Too bad."

She pretended to roll her eyes, and focused on Steven in Rose's arms.

"He's kinda cute," she admitted, eyeing the first signs of dark curls on his head.

"Well, Rose _is_ his biological mother," Pearl teased, shoulder bumping her girlfriend.

Rose scoffed good-naturedly. "He'd be even luckier to have you as his biological mother."

"Okay, cut off the flirting you two," Lapis interrupted.

"As if you and Peridot don't flirt all the time," Pearl remarked, smiling coyly.

"Yeah, whatever."

Jasper looked away, concentrating on her hands in her lap.

Rose glanced at her, a serious look in her eyes. "Hey, did you want to talk about… things?"

"No, not yet."

Rose silently nodded, then bit her lip in thought. She gave Steven a loving smile. "Would you like to hold Steven? I'm sure he'd love to say hi up close."

Jasper's eyes bulged a little. "Uh…"

Lapis squeezed her arm again.

"… I guess so?"

Rose's smile grew and she hefted Steven up, ambling towards Jasper. She stared at anywhere but Rose.

"Here," she offered, bending her knees a little and extending Steven a bit. With a bit of hesitation, Jasper outstretch her hands and picked the baby up, bringing him close to her midsection.

Lapis couldn't help the proud smile. Jasper had come so far, and to see her holding such a small child in her enormous hands with such care really sparked something in her.

"Hey Steven," she greeted not for the first time, waggling her fingers at him.

He giggled back, and Jasper finally broke, her awkward forced smile resembling something more natural and relaxed.

"He's sweet. I thought all babies cried and screamed," Jasper blurted, now focusing on the dark eyes continually staring back at her.

"He never was a screamer," Pearl acknowledged, chuckling a little, "But he does cry quite often."

"Oh yes, never forget the countless nights we had to stay up comforting him," Rose added, faking a sigh. She beamed.

Pearl laughed again. "But he is our little sunshine."

Lapis found herself grinning along at the anecdote, but watched Jasper.

She was finally getting the closure she needed.

* * *

Lapis' hand around her own felt very comforting in the freezing weather outside. Peridot wished she had gloves. In fact, she'd probably buy some right afterwards.

The cafe's bright lights were attractive in the dull winter afternoon. Inside, Peridot could see quite a few people crowding around tables and the fireplace, all sharing warmth.

"Come on, let's go in already!" Peridot insisted, dragging Lapis behind her. They'd been out of the car for a total of two seconds and she was already feeling her entire body shake at the cold.

Lapis didn't disagree and let herself be dragged by the hand into the homey cafe.

The warmth hit her in the face like a brick wall, and Peridot swore her glasses were already misting up. She glanced around the full cafe, and spotted what she was looking for.

"Over here," Peridot stated pointlessly, as she was still holding onto Lapis' hand and guiding her.

The couple squeezed through the masses and eventually reached a table by the windows of the cafe, a little further away from the fireplace than everywhere else, but also less crowded.

Peridot grinned. On the other side of the table, Iris and her mother sat, both with steaming drinks in front of them.

"Hey Mum!" Peridot greeted, and moved over to give her a brief hug. Lapis did the same with Iris.

"Hey you two," Iris addressed once the four of them sat down. She wore a cheeky smile. "How have you been? It's been so long!"

"Oh, it's been great!" Peridot exclaimed, grinning broadly. "College is coming to a close soon, but that's okay! Lapis, why don't you tell them how great it's been for you!"

Lapis snorted. "Of course dork. You remember my friend Greg, right Mum? Well, he's been taking me out sometimes for small gigs, and I'm really getting the hang of it! I actually got to perform one of my originals too."

"Oh, that's amazing Lapis!" Iris praised.

"Yes, that does sound like quite the pleasant scenario," Daisy added in, smiling slightly. "Do you two want anything? I'll pay."

"It's alright Mum, I can pay," Peridot insisted.

"Who's the one who owns a business?" Daisy pointed to herself smugly, then quickly pointed to Iris too. "I'm sure we have more money than the both of you. Anyways, it's my treat, since I haven't seen my daughter for so long."

Peridot gave in. "Alright. I think I'll have a chai latte."

"I'll have a cappuccino, thanks," Lapis added in.

Daisy nodded and got up from her seat after finishing her own cup of coffee.

Iris watched Daisy for a short moment before excitedly gazing back towards Peridot and Lapis. "Tell me about your first show!"

Lapis rubbed her hand across her sleeve. "Well, it wasn't really a show, just a small gig. But it was freakin' awesome! Like, the whole crowd was cheering on, and Greg was really living in the moment so it helped me feel a lot more confident. And everyone loved my original! They're really sweet at the pub."

"You should've told me when you were performing!" Iris sighed exaggeratedly. "I would've loved to watch my daughter's first gig."

"Psh, yeah." Lapis smiled anyways. "I'll invite you to the next one, okay?"

"As you should," Iris replied with a mocking tone.

Daisy returned and slumped back in her seat. "Oh, are you two bickering about already? It's been five minutes."

Iris poked her tongue out. "Just because you don't know how to have fun."

Daisy scoffed but said no more. Peridot grinned at that.

"So now that our lives have been evaluated, how have yours been?" she asked, propping her elbows on the table.

"Well, business has been good. We've had quite a few medical agencies interested in our virtual reality technology," Daisy boasted. "A video game company has been interested in working with us too - I thought that might be something you'd like."

"True, it would be, but business is boooring," Peridot whined, dragging out the last word. "I want to hear about your actual lives, not about work."

Daisy smiled amusedly, but Iris butted in. "Yes, despite all the good business stuff, things have been pretty alright lately. We decided that it would be good to move in together - of course, financially, it doesn't matter. But it's been…" Iris glanced at Daisy, "Lonely for quite a while, since both of you moved to the city."

"Iris is neglecting the fact that we work together almost every day," Daisy added in, raising eyebrows at her counterpart. " _And_ that she bought a dog. Seriously, how can you call yourself lonely when you have a _dog_?"

Iris pouted. "Human companionship is still desired."

Daisy rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless.

"So I take it you two have been well," Lapis concluded, watching the spectacle with interest. "You should've told me you got a dog! I would've come visit more often!"

"So you'd come for the dog, but not me, your own mother?" Iris questioned dramatically, laughing a little bit.

Lapis faux shrugged nonchalantly. "Probably. What is the dog's name?"

"She named her Greenie. _Greenie_." Daisy rolled her eyes again.

Lapis snorted. "Oh my god, what sort of a name is that? I'm so glad I wasn't born when you had these naming skills."

"She symbolises Daisy and I's moving in together." Iris frowned. "It represents our colour schemes! Blue and yellow!"

Lapis merely raised an eyebrow. "You're terrible Mum."

"I tell her that everyday," Daisy mentioned, which earned her a shove in the shoulder. "It does nothing."

"You two just don't understand true beauty when you hear it," Iris argued playfully.

Peridot cleared her throat as their drinks came in. "Well, I for one think it's a great name!"

"That's because green is your favourite colour," Lapis deadpanned, then took a sip of her coffee.

"W-well, yeah! Doesn't make my opinion less worthy!"

"You're biased."

Peridot huffed. "Well at least someone is taking Iris' side."

"Thank you, Peridot." Iris smiled.

Peridot grinned back and sipped at her chai. It was so nice to see her mother again, and from the fondness Lapis was displaying, she guessed she enjoyed seeing Iris again too.

They talked until their drinks were finished - it didn't feel like enough time. It had been months since either Peridot or Lapis had seen their parents (she really should catch up with her father along with Jasper sometime), and it was hard to condense those months into an hour of talking.

But it was okay. They'd see each other again (very soon if Lapis' excitement over a dog was an indicator).

* * *

Crowds upon crowds of kids rushed through the front doors, eager to finish the school day and finally return home. Some pushed and shoved, others tended to stick to the walls. Some parted ways on their own, some walked in groups, some ran onto buses, some stalked the car park.

Peridot watched it all from the other side of the street. Lapis watched too, but with less visible interest.

"This is weird," Peridot stated, but didn't make a move to leave. Besides, she wasn't the driver.

Lapis' hands tapped against the steering wheel. "What, watching kids or feeling nostalgic?"

"Both, really."

Lapis smiled. "Yeah, it's weird. I mean, look over there - they've added more classroom blocks. The school looks a whole lot bigger now."

"They cut down half of the garden," Peridot scrutinised, frowning a bit.

"Yeah, that sucks. I really liked sitting with you under _that_ big tree."

Peridot hummed. "Do you miss it?"

"The tree?"

" _No_ , high school."

Lapis raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

Peridot sighed quietly. "Y'know, not like the homework and early mornings and sometimes shitty days depending where you were. I'm talking about just going to a place where there's so many people your age to meet and be with, and to just have that regular socialising. To be really young still, and have so many opportunities for things."

"We're still young," Lapis pointed out. "But yeah. High school is unique. I don't really miss it."

Peridot was quiet for a moment. "I do. I miss meeting you for the first time, and I miss seeing everyone everyday."

"Huh." Lapis bit her lip thoughtfully, and continued to look out the window at the stream of kids parting and becoming smaller and smaller specks. "The only thing I really miss is living with Mum, I guess. But that's sweet of you Peri."

"There's just…" Peridot hesitated and thread her hands together. "There's just so many fond memories! I want to relive them all. Not specifically at high school, just of that time period. Like—like when you first broke your tough guy persona and talked to me! Or when you invited everyone to the tavern and we had a blast with Greg! Even that party we went to and, yanno, you kissed me."

Lapis smiled coyly. "I'm pretty sure you kissed me."

Peridot waved it off. "Whatever. But don't you want to relive those memories? Like, get that nostalgic feeling?"

"Well, yeah," Lapis admitted. "But we can do heaps of fun stuff now, not just back then."

Peridot felt her heart ache for the past. "I don't know. Yeah, we can, but there's just that feeling. It's really strong. I like it - like feeling like this. Just… thanks. For bring us back here."

"No problem." Lapis smiled. "Where to next?"

Peridot eyed the last student leave the premises of the high school. She wanted to feel it all again, everything she had gone through with her friends, her mother, Lapis, _everyone_. But Lapis was right - they could still do everything they did back then.

"Can we go to the hill beside the Big Donut? Maybe grab a donut whilst we're in the area?" she asked, leaning against the window.

"Uh-huh." Lapis put the car into drive and took off down the road through the centre of town. They passed by numerous shops that Peridot remembered in her high school years - sometimes she wished they didn't move to the city.

Lapis parked the car in front of the Big Donut. When Peridot got out, she felt the salty air of the beach breeze through her hair. It was cold, but it was a nice feeling.

Inside, Sadie greeted them both. Lars was nowhere to be seen, but Peridot wasn't entirely surprised. Lapis ordered two donuts for them each, and after a quick conversation with Sadie, the two left the warmth of the shop, cradling a bag of donuts and a drink to their chest.

Lapis left her car where it was and the two of them hiked up the nearby hill. Peridot held Lapis' hand on the way up - the warmth was nice.

The view on top of the hill was great like always. Peridot imagined the two of them sitting on the hill in their formal attire, next to Pearl and Rose sharing donuts.

"Remember when we had a double date with Rose and Pearl?" Peridot asked, plonking down on the grass and crossing her legs. Lapis followed suit.

"Yeah, kinda? We went to a restaurant, and then we sat here under the stars afterwards."

Peridot hummed her confirmation. "We should definitely go on another date."

"Yeah? You asking me on a date Peri?" Lapis asked in a mocking tone.

Peridot blushed a little. "Maybe? It's just been so long."

"Of course I'll go on a date with you, dork," Lapis teased, shoulder bumping Peridot before stuffing a donut in her mouth.

Peridot grinned and took a bite from her own donut. Looking back on it all, everything felt like a consequence of meeting Lapis. Coming out of her shell, finding her romanticism, experiencing a relationship, knowing her friends better, and… and well, there was some bad stuff Peridot was sure she wouldn't've been aware of if it weren't for Lapis.

Lapis shoulder bumped her again, then squeezed Peridot's hand in her own. "Hey, what are you thinking about?"

"About meeting you," Peridot nonchalantly replied.

"Since when did you become mushy?" Lapis laughed.

"Well, what if I didn't talk to you the first time I saw you? My friends pressured me to do it, and I almost didn't. Everything would be different," Peridot reminisced.

Lapis shrugged. "That's generally how time works, Peri. One little thing different and the whole timeline changes."

"Just…" Peridot sighed and took another bite of her donut. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm really thankful I met you. I'm thankful you left your crap first high school and came to mine, and I'm thankful you didn't push me away every time I talked to you."

Lapis feigned annoyance then chuckled. "Dude, stop being so sappy. I mean… yeah, I'm thankful you even talked to me in the first place, but it's been _years_ man."

"Sorry. Seeing the school again has just lit a lot of memories in me."

"It's okay." Lapis smiled sincerely and swallowed down the last of her donut.

"Hey," Peridot mumbled, and scooted closer to Lapis, leaning her head against her shoulder. "I love you. That's what I was trying to say."

Lapis grinned and snorted. "I love you too. That's all you had to say, you made it so complicated."

"Oh shush," Peridot faux snapped, pretending to be offended.

Lapis merely laughed again and trailed a finger under Peridot's chin, guiding her face up before giving her a kiss.

The sun glowed dimly in the dull sky on the horizon over their shoulders, and over the entire town of Beach City.

The memories never died; Peridot promised to remember each cherished moment with the girl who changed her life.

Lapis deserved that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...The End.
> 
> thank you, seriously EVERYONE, (i know i already said this but shuuuuSH) for everything you've said and done for this fic. honestly, it wouldn't've gotten this far without every review, fave, follow, ANYTHING, that this has gotten. when i first started writing this, it was just going to be a little fic about Peridot and Lapis having cute dates and conversations with a similar twist at the end, but it became so much more when you guys motivated me!!
> 
> thank you everyone, present or future, for reading this fic, and have a good day/night!!


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